I have a pretty insane confession.
It needs a little backstory for context, I think. So I'll start with Evan.
Evan Sisco has been my best friend since middle school. He's a little bland, and maybe even a jackass sometimes, but he's dependable. As a friend.
I've slept over at his house countless weekends. Evan and I had just graduated from high school, just last week. I only turned nineteen as of today. And sadly, I'm still a virgin.
Evan's mom was always really nice. Divorced, but not a miserable person by any means. She's always been sweet to me. And, for as long as I can remember, she's been heavy.
I never thought much of it before. Her weight. Evan seemed a little self-conscious being out in public with her, but that was moms in general, I think. I know I felt off, when I was out and about with my own parents.
But my parents are thin. Laney Sisco is a really heavy woman. Morbidly obese, I guess. But, around the time I turned 18, I started to find her very attractive. I didn't really understand it at first. All of my crushes at school were cute, mousey blondes my own age, and shorter than me.
Laney Sisco was brunette, shapely, and matronly. She had a few inches on me vertically. She usually wore loose fitting blouses and pants, so her exact dimensions were a little mysterious to me.
But staying at Evan's often enough gave me ample opportunity to see her wearing pajama bottoms, and tight fitting tee shirts, now and again. I wanted to know what her body looked like under there.
And I got a little obsessed with her.
Obviously I never mentioned it to Evan. That would be pretty weird. It was weird to admit to anyone that I would think of Evan's mom while in bed, recalling her curves as I fondled myself in the dark.
I didn't speak to her any differently in person. I just snuck glimpses, memories for later.
Which brings me to my point of topic.
I stayed over at Evan's again last weekend, just after grad. We didn't even go to a party. We didn't do that kind of thing. Socialize. Drink.
I woke up first, rolling off my air mattress next to Evan's bed, and sauntered down his hallway to use the bathroom.
Laney's door was ajar, and she was snoring.
I snuck a glimpse.
Laney Sisco was sprawled out on her mattress, naked as fuck.
Her comforter had fallen down to the side, and Laney's pale ass and thighs were on full display. Despite her snores, I had a moment of shame, almost instinctively saying sorry to Evan's sleeping mother.
But she was out cold. So was Evan, when last I checked.
So I stared. Her skin was fair. Her hips were slightly turned, and one cheek was more elevated than the other. Her butt was ridiculously large.
I looked into her ass crack, from the doorway. I studied the details of her cellulite. I noticed places she had missed shaving. I noticed the soles of her feet were darker and calloused.
I was very hard, standing in her doorway in my pajama bottoms. I started to touch myself.
She shifted a little, and stopped snoring. My heart went into my chest. I moved quickly, turning away from her bedroom, and shutting myself in the bathroom, breathing rapidly.
When I heard no further movement, and her snores resumed. I sat on the toilet to pee, quiet-like. I was too hard to aim it down. So I took care of myself, as quietly as possible. I was experienced with that. I went back to bed, with nobody the wiser.
Later, when all three of us were eating breakfast, I was cool as fuck. I wasn't weird. And I only felt a little bad about what I did in the bathroom. While thinking of her.
That's not the confession by the way. I wish it was so innocent.
A week went by. I spent every single night jerking off to that image. Reimagining her massive cheeks, each one larger than the waist of my heavier female friends. I was turned on by her size, and I accepted that.
The way her skin looked soft and lumpy, the way little blue veins crisscrossed across her thighs. But it was all beautiful to me. I wanted to see closer, but I had ran. I needed more.
I stayed at Evan's again. We were still happy to be done with school, not worried about job hunting or getting girlfriends. We just played games and watched TV all night. Laney barely visited us, instead taking an early leave to bed with a glass of wine.
I woke up early again, mostly because of my desire to pee. My morning wood baffled me: I had spent a week straight jerking off twice a night, save for last night. I didn't do that right next to my sleeping friend. In any case, how was I still capable of a boner? I was raw.
I let it subside a bit before going down the hall. Again, her door was ajar. Again I looked.
Her covers were doing their job. I only saw the toes of the snoring Laney.
That should have been it. I should have left.
I stepped inside. The soft carpeted floor did not creak. I approached her.
I watched as my hand grabbed the edge of her cover, slowly peeling it upwards, my loins fully in control of my normally logical mind.
I needed to see.
I slowly shifted the lower half of her comforter to one side. Her wide rear was mine again to inspect. I was right next to her. My heart was pounding.
I thought about her waking up. Or Evan walking in. Both were likely, but I didn't stop. I was obsessed.
Her ass was slightly parted this time, as her legs were further apart. Her skin was a darker pink inside her crevice. There were short little hairs within, from a weeks-old shave job, maybe. I didn't mind. She was so real, so visceral.
I leaned in close, careful not to bump her, or lean on the mattress. She was breathing slowly.
I could see tiny hair follicles all over her skin. Tiny freckles too. I was deliriously content. But not satiated.
With my cock painfully erect in my pajamas, I inhaled deeply through my nose, inches from her ass crack.
The tang of it assaulted my senses. It was sweat, and salt, and equal parts soap-scent and something hauntingly personal. And dirty.
I was already mad. Insane to do this. But still, I wanted more.
Leaning against the bed, I softly pushed my face into Laney's clammy bottom. It was warm, and moist, and amazing.
And that's when Laney woke up with a start.
She inhaled sharply, a sound far too alert.
I leaned back, but my proximity was far too close to be explainable. She turned, and saw me. She looked at me, confused. Then she looked at my crotch. Then she seemed to be aware of her own exposure. Nude from the waist down.
"Hey," she said. It was devoid of accusation, but it wasn't a normal greeting. It was almost a question without the inflection.
I didn't know what I could say to fix this.
"Sorry," I whispered.
"Were you...smelling me?" she asked, half-awake. I was mortified. I'm sure she would be too, soon enough. This was hell.
"Sorry," I said once more. No brain cells were firing. None that helped me.
She blinked at me, her round face still marked with the creases of her pillow.
Laney sighed, pulled her covers down, and said, "Go."
I went. I didn't even go pee. I put on my shoes, and walked home, sockless. My ankles were as raw as my cock by the time I got home.
I snuck in through my back door, and crawled into bed, fearing what came next: a call to my parents, a visit from the police, my best friend calling me a psycho, the works.
But the call never came. Evan just dropped by later with my phone and my backpack of spare clothes. Including my socks.
"Mom said you were feeling sick?" Evan asked, handing me my stuff.
"Yeah," I said, in disbelief. "Threw up."
"Damn," he said. "Hope I don't get it. See ya later?"
After a fist bump, he was gone.
And I was left to ruminate on my choices. On how I could face her again. If I even should.
That was my confession. My perverted, shameful act. But it wasn't the end. It was just how things started.
I could only avoid going to Evan's for a few days. I had no good excuse. Not one I could share. And I couldn't avoid my best friend.
When I saw Laney the next time I was over, I was convinced that she had no recollection of my transgression. She was acting totally normal.
Until later that night.
Halfway through a movie, the phone rang. Laney answered from the kitchen, and told Evan that his grandma wanted to talk to him. Always bashful, he took it into the other room. I knew they were kind of close, so I didn't mind.
After he left the living room, Laney sat next to me on the couch.
"They'll be a minute, Nana Sisco talks a lot. That's why I told her to call Evan. To buy us time to chat."
"Um," I said, very nervous. I could smell her aromas, and felt her mass sinking into the couch next to me. She was in her pajama bottoms with a sweater up to her neck.
"Don't worry, you're not in trouble. You're basically a kid, and your hormones are jacked up. I remember being horny at your age. It's awful. You do...dumb shit.'
I think I audibly gulped.
"Point being," she said, "you're excused. But for Evan, we need to agree that nothing like that can happen again."
I nodded, sweating bullets as Evan yammered on with his grandma in the other room.
"Not going to lie, you scared me." Her voice fell to a whisper. "But it was an...interesting way to wake up."
Her smile was an enigma. What was I supposed to say?
"Would you tell me this at least? Why is a good-looking guy like you sniffing the backside of a old woman like me, honey? I'm too big for you, anyways."
She wanted something. Beyond a flimsy excuse. I took a deep breath.
"You make me crazy, I guess." My statement seemed to sit there. Echoing in my mind. In the space next to us, which felt very close.
Her eyes darted to mine, and she bit her lip.
"Don't say shit like that to me," she whispered, smiling. "Don't tease me."
Evan returned.
"My spot, Momma."
She sighed, heaved up, sitting back down into the sofa chair, joining us. It groaned under her weight. I suddenly wished I was under her, between the chair and the woman.
Her smile lingered as we watched the rest of the movie.
Before bed, I said goodnight to Laney. She beckoned me over while Evan brushed his teeth. I approached her in the kitchen.
"I'm sleeping with my door closed," she said playfully.
"I...yeah. No worries." I blushed a little.
"What I'm saying is," she said while sipping from a wine glass, "is if you're waking me up tomorrow, close the door behind you."
I smelled the wine on her breath. Her sweat breath.