Jennifer knew pain & betrayal. She knew how to function within those feelings. It was happiness & trust that terrified her.
Chris watched as boyfriend after boyfriend entered her life & left just as quickly. He almost felt he'd be doing them a favor by stopping them at the door & telling them to leave.
Her fear/pain would always come roaring back with an innocent comment or action. Her walls would fly up quicker & stronger each time and like clockwork, the relationship would be over.
Chris had emotional pain - plenty of it. Both had experienced marriages that ended horribly. He knew he wasn't ready to date & random late night fucking was where he felt comfortable.
Chris & Jennifer had known each other for a long time. He moved in with Jennifer after his divorce for convenience. Neither one of them like the idea of being alone. It was a perfect fit & whether or not her pride allowed her to say - she felt safe with him.
Jennifer always find herself on the couch talking about how "horribly" her dates went. Chris knew she didn't even attempt to make a connection.
"Well, another awkward date in the books," Jennifer said flopping on the couch late one evening. Her wine glass was filled to the brim.
"Hmm...what?" Chris said, halfway tuning out. He was tired of hearing her excuses as to why the date was so bad.
"My date - forget it," Jennifer said gesturing with her hand.
"I'm too tired to explain", she said taking a more than generous sip of her wine.
"Did he drive a car instead of a SUV?" Chris asked sarcastically taking a drink of his scotch.
"No..." Jennifer responded looking confused.
"Just curious what bullshit reason you're going to come up with now." Chris said looking up from his phone.
"It's not bullshit, if it doesn't work than I'm not going to waste my time!" Jennifer angerly responded.
"You know..." Chris said putting his phone down. "Eventually you're going to have to trust people again and stop pushing everyone away."
"Don't rush me, asshole." Jennifer said taking another big sip of her wine.
"Do I bust in your room with one of your many one night stands and tell you to open up your heart?" she asked glaring at him.
"First off, none of those women were dates" Chris said.
"It's just two people fucking, getting a need met...that's it." He said finishing his drink.
"Oh, I'm sorry I guess I didn't realize our healing needed to be the exact fucking same." She said growing more upset.
Chris tried to respond but was cut off.
"You know, some people would consider even TRYING to date was better than fucking anything that walks." She said.
"Don't twist the conversation around on me." He said getting up to get another drink.
"At least I know I'm fucking the pain away - you're only dating cause he's moved on & it drives you crazy." He said entering the kitchen.
"I...that's not..." she tried to complete her sentence but her tears quickly started to fall.
He entered the room again and saw her on the couch staring at the floor quickly wiping away her tears.
"Hey..." he said softening his voice. "I'm sorry..."
"No, you're right" she said. "I know I'm not ready"
"I shouldn't have talked to you like that." He said sitting down next to her.
"I just don't like seeing you in pain, especially if it's because you're only trying to make that asshole jealous." He said laying back on the couch.
"Why wasn't I good enough?" she said quietly while she curled up next to him.
Chris put his arm around her making Jennifer curl up closer.
"You deserved better than him" he said.
"Doesn't it bother you that she moved on so quickly?" Jennifer asked.
"Uh... she moved on when we were still married! Hell yeah it hurts but I don't want to go get some girls hopes up with a date only to never call her back."
"Oh get over yourself" she said smacking his arm.
"I'm sure after one date with you would be enough to drive anyone away." She said laughing.
"Do you fuck them as a parting gift cause you're too afraid to tell them you're not ever going to call them?" He asked playfully shaking his head in disgust.
"That's MY business, Chris!" She said sounding offended.
"And yes...yes I do." She said getting up to get some more wine.
"So...are you sure YOU'RE not the reason the date didn't work?" he said raising an eyebrow.
"Our walls are pretty thin & you sound boring as hell in bed." He said
"Oh my GOD - you can hear us?" she said heavily pouring herself another glass.
"Yep! You sound like you couldn't be anymore uninterested in fucking him." He said mocking her noises.
"Yeah...right there" he said in a monotone voice.
"...(sigh)...I'm gonna cum" he said pretending to check the time.
