Botherer's and Misbehaving's

Thank you for reading my story, I hope that you enjoy it. Love Mica xx, Yorkshire England.

All comments good or bad welcomed. I will try and reply to each and every one but please note that all anonymous comments will be deleted immediately and will not be read.

I was sitting in my lounge drinking a beer. Why not? It's my time, my house, I am a grown man, I can do what I like. My other half was at work, I had been working from home and my work for the day had been done, so, relaxation time.

The doorbell rang. I sighed put my beer down and answered the door, there were two middle aged women there.

"Hello, yes, can I help you?" I asked.

"We want to bring the true message to you." One of them said. Bloody God Botherer's.

"Oh, I don't think you do, you don't have the true message."

"Yes we do, The Lord loves you."

"No, no he really doesn't."

"Of course he does."

"No, look, if he loved us, why would he allow so many deaths and wars in his name. If there is one true God why has he abandoned all the Muslim women and let them be persecuted and stoned and hidden away."

"He guides and cannot help if we ignore him."

"Oh, is that so, why does he allow priests to rape choir boys, surely they, of all people, should follow the word of God."

"You are a disciple of Satan," and she made the sign of a cross and walked away.

I laughed. "Goodbye ladies," I called after them. I had no truck with religion, it had no place in a modern world in my view. I shut the door and went back to my beer. I had a laugh about it over dinner with Geraldine my wife.

The next day I had to go to the office for a few hours and I got home at about eleven thirty. I decided I would have some lunch and then do some more work in the afternoon. The doorbell rang, I opened it half expecting the God Botherer's to come back for more, I had plenty more in my arsenal, but no, it was Sophie from next door.

"I see you had the God Botherer's yesterday," she said laughing.

"Come in Sophie, yes, silly women, I half thought that you were them, come back to try and convert me."

"I don't know what you said, but they called you Satan's spawn and told me to never speak to you, you would corrupt me."

"Ha ha, unlikely, the only corruption on my mind would be upstairs in bed."

I don't really know why I said that, I mean, I don't recall having flirted with Sophie, but the words just fell out of my mouth.

"Oh," she said looking at me, and then noticeably at my crotch, "do you mean that, really?"

I was in a hole now. "Well, if you would call it corruption, I prefer to say pleasure."

She looked at me with eyes that seemed to pierce my soul, if I had one. "No one would know," she said.

"We would know."

"Yes we would. If it were memorable," she said, her stance unmoving.

"If you wanted..." I said.

She looked at me for a moment and then said, "come on before I change my mind," and she headed to my stairs.

I was a bit shocked, I have to be honest, but I followed her upstairs, I had a nice view of her flowery knickers as she went up. In my bedroom, the one I share with my wife Geraldine, she pulled her dress over her head and dropped it on a chair, Geraldine's chair as it happened, I mentally shrugged, well, Geraldine wasn't here was she?

I pulled my polo shirt over my head and dropped it onto my chair as Sophie was undoing her bra. Knickers and bra mismatched meant, to me, that she hadn't planned this, this was very much a spur of the moment thing. As I pulled my trousers and underpants down together, Sophie pulled down her flowery panties and revealed her beautifully shaved fanny.

"I'll need a little preamble," she said as she lay on the bed. Good, I am not a slam it in and thanks guy.

I knelt on the bed between her ankles and leant forward, my nose within touching distance of her crease, I inhaled, oh what a delight, the slight musk of a woman and nothing else. I ran my nose along her crease, pressing at her clitoris as I reached the top end, Sophie sighed. I reached up under my chin with my right hand and circled her entrance with two fingers, each circle pressing just a little deeper inside her until I was a knuckle in, and then I pushed in as far as my fingers would go, and as I parted my fingers she gasped loudly. My little finger lay in the crease of her arse, pressing against her sphincter, pressing but not inwards.

I moved my head up slightly, my nose leaving her clitoris and I probed with my tongue, flicking her clitoris, teasing it from its hood and then I closed my mouth around it and I sucked, my tongue flicking it as it was in my mouth.

"Oh Jesus Fucking Christ," Sophie gasped.

It seemed I was doing something right, that's nice. I began to finger shag her, my two fingers straight and going in and out, as my tongue work in synchronisation with my fingers. Sophie was panting louder and louder and her body was rocking in an up and down movement. I pressed as hard and as deep as I could, my tongue only lightly flicking her clitoris, and as I sensed her moment was close, I pressed in hard and held my fingers still, rocking my hand against her fanny and valley and pushed hard with my tongue.

Sophie rose off the bed, she gurgled, her fanny squeezed my fingers hard, almost painfully, gosh she had some muscles and she screamed, her screech echoing around the bedroom.

"Stop, Jesus, stop," she cried, pushing my head away from her groin.

"My God, who taught you that? Jesus H."

"Geraldine knows what she likes and I know it is in my best interest to deliver." I answered, I suppose a little smugly.

"I mean Phil makes me cum, but never like that." Phil is her husband, presumably out at work.

"I aim to please," I answered as I moved up the bed and lay next to her. "Okay then?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Fuck off, you know it was."

I smiled. Now, would she reciprocate?

"Are you desperate or will you take a rain check, only, I didn't expect to be doing this, not with you anyway, and I have stuff I need to do, and you deserve better than a quick blow job. If you want I will, but know it won't be my best."

"I am nothing if not civilised, of course I can accept your rain check. Any idea when, only I want to ensure my diary is clear."

"Not tomorrow, Phil is home, the morning after, come to me, if that's okay?"

"Yes, that'll be fine, I am looking forward to it."

"Good, me too, now I need to go and shower." She got up and put her dress on, and carrying her underwear, she went downstairs and out of my front door.

I fussed around the bedroom, checking that there was no sign of our activities, sprayed some Febreze on the bed, and then a little of my cologne and remade it. A final check and I reckoned it would pass a CSI inspection, and as far as I knew, Geraldine didn't have any lumisol or a UV light. Anyway, there was none of me on the bed from this morning, last night with Geraldine, yes, but this morning with Sophie, no.

I spent an hour working on the laptop, Excel spreadsheets just seemed to get more and more complicated. I had ten sheets in my current one, and I had calculations that picked up values from many of them, it needed my full concentration. When I had finished I sat back on the sofa and let out a satisfied sigh. I had updated and modified my spreadsheet, and I had managed to shag, sort of, my neighbour. She had a bloody lovely body, and I closed my eyes and recalled how she looked.

She was, I supposed, a size 12, her hair was blond, shoulder length and she often, like today, wore it loose. Her boobs were a good D or DD, very slightly showing the effects of gravity, nipples were not massive but they protruded around half an inch, her areola was small and discrete. Her waist was much smaller than her hips, and her buttocks plump and round, no orange peel. A very small lady tummy bulge just below her navel, and her crease started with a dimple and wasn't hidden underneath like Geraldine's. Her outer fanny lips were fat and hid her inner lips, only her clit just peeking out. All in all an extremely tasty body, one that I hadn't imagined hiding beneath her clothes. I was almost licking my lips at the thought of our arranged morning.

My front door knocked. I sighed and went to answer it, it was one of the Botherer's again.

"Yes, what this time?" I asked.

"I prayed to The Lord and he told me that I have to save you."

Oh good grief. I was in half a mind to just tell her to fuck of and shut the door, but something stopped me. I stepped back and waved my arm, inviting her in.

"Cup of tea?" I asked, hoping she would say no.

"Yes please, that would be nice, milk, one sugar."

In the kitchen I realised that I hadn't had lunch, but I wasn't going to be that hospitable. It wouldn't kill me to miss lunch this once. The kettle boiled and I made two mugs of tea, squeezing the tea bag and leaving it in the little used tea bag saucer that we used.

"Come and sit in the conservatory" I said leading the way. I sat on the single cane chair leaving her to choose where she wanted to sit on the sofa. Her skirt was longish, an inch below the knee I thought, so I doubted I would be getting any sneaky looks at her knickers. Her blouse was done up to her neck, so not even a hint of cleavage. I sighed.

"Your soul is at risk," she said, her voice hurried as if she were nervous.

"You realise that if I don't believe in God then I don't believe in a soul?" I asked her.

"It doesn't matter whether you believe or not, you still have a soul, and it is at risk.

"And if my soul, not that I accept that I have one, is at risk, what is the issue for me?"

"You won't be able enter the Kingdom of Heaven, and will be doomed to Purgatory for all of existence."

"I'll have to redecorate every century or so, otherwise I would get bored. Are there any DIY stores in Purgatory?"

"Now you are being flippant. Your soul can be saved. I can ask the church to put a circle of protection around you."

"And why would you do that? I thought you said I was a disciple of Satan."

"Your neighbours have a high opinion of you, perhaps I misjudged."

I shrugged. "I still think that blindly following religious tracts is not beneficial, especially to women."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, take the UK, most women have to Love, Honour and Obey when they get married. They are taught to have sex whenever their husbands wants, and I bet few husbands see to the needs of their wives, from what I understand, few women in a religious marriage ever experience orgasms. That is what I mean. I am not asking about you, but you can think over that for yourself. In non-religious relationships both men and women enjoy sex equally."

She was silent for a moment, and then looked at me directly.

"Sex is private."

"Okay, but why did God give women the wonders of an orgasm and then not allow them to enjoy it. For God's sake, some groups even cut a girl's clitoris off. Jesus."

"I have never," she started to say, and then stopped.

"Well, if you haven't ever, then you are missing one of the most wonderful of experiences. Get your husband to treat you right, or use your finger on yourself and experience it that way."

She looked at me as if I were an evil prison warder.

"Look" I said, "It makes no difference to me what you do, I treat my wife the way she should be treated, go home. It is up to you whether or not you get your husband to treat you the way I would treat you if you were my wife. Your Lord knows you are pretty enough."

She stood up and walked to the door. I shut the door after her and shook my head. "Bloody women, fucking religion," I said to the newel post.

That evening I told Geraldine that one of the God Botherer's had returned to try and save my soul and that basically I had told her to go home and shag her husband. Geraldine laughed.

"You didn't offer to shag her then?" She asked.

"Ha, ha, my love, you know I keep myself for you, and so, no, I didn't"

"Ha." She almost snorted. "You keep yourself for me do you, good, because if I ever find your dick has been inside someone else's fanny, it'll never go in mine again."

"Shall we go upstairs and make love and that way I can take each day at a time and ensure I don't miss ever out on the delights of your fanny."

The next morning as soon as Geraldine left for work, I dived in the shower, I didn't want to leave any trace of Geraldine on my body, clean and tidy everywhere I dressed in boxers, chinos and a polo shirt. Sliders on I went and knocked on Sophies door at precisely nine.

She opened the door stark naked. "Oh, you're dressed" she said.

I stepped inside, "I wouldn't want to alarm the neighbours or your reputation," I answered.

"Ah, yes, my reputation, that of a formerly honest and true wife who had kept her marriage vows and is now a fallen woman."

"Yes, that's her. Only now she knows of pleasures she had perhaps forgotten."

"Perhaps, well, come on, let's go upstairs." She led the way, I left my sliders in the hall and followed.

In her bedroom, which looked just like any bedroom, bed, chairs, wardrobes, chest of drawers, blinds at the window, she turned to me.

"Well, aren't you a little over dressed?"

"Easily remedied," I said and pulled my polo off and dropped it on one of the chairs, and then pushed down my chinos and boxers in one move, adding them to the chair.

"Better?" I asked.

"Yes, now, put this on." She passed me an eye mask.

"Why?"

"Because."

I shrugged and put the eye mask on, it completely covered my eyes, I could see nothing.

"Right, lay on the bed like a star fish."

What was she thinking, I just want shagging.

"Ouch" I couldn't help it, she slapped my bum and it stung.

"Come on, we haven't got all day."

I lay on the bed and stretched my arms and legs out. I felt something go around my left wrist and the sound of what could have been Velcro, and then my right wrist, and my ankles in turn. Oh. Now I couldn't move, she had somehow tied my wrists and ankles to the bed.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Just having some fun, hush now."

I felt hot breath at my groin, and then my dick was engulfed by what I hoped was a hot mouth, yes, her tongue licked my dick. I felt her hand on my dick and she pulled my foreskin down uncovering my dickhead. Her tongue moved slowly around my head and then pressed into my hole. She then started to move her mouth up and down my dick, shagging me slowly, sucking and licking as she moved.

The sensations were almost overwhelming, I felt the cheeks of my bum tighten, my balls seemed to recede within me, I know I was gasping. She knew exactly what she was doing. Her husband Phil was a lucky guy. There was movement on the bed and then I felt pressure on my nose and I realised she had turned into a sixty-nine position and was pressing her fanny on my face. She moved her fanny along my nose, rubbing herself from her fanny entrance to her clitoris, I tried to use my tongue on her, but she ignored it and slid herself back and forth as she licked and sucked my dick.

She let go of my foreskin and moved her fingers down and cupped my balls, rolling them in their sac, squeezing, just enough to cause a tingle of discomfort, but not real pain. Her fingers moved back in-between my cheeks and one pressed at my sphincter, insistent, unrelenting, and wet from her felatio it began to slide inside me, pressing in deeper and deeper, my sphincter no match for her insistence.

I could hardly hold my breath, I couldn't see what was happening, I had a mouth sucking and tongue licking my dick, I had a finger seeking my prostate and I had a fanny sliding along my noise. The aroma of her fanny was enticing, pure woman. The finger inside me was causing very odd pulses of pure sexual pleasure, I assumed when it contacted my prostate, and my dick was basically in heaven.

I was constantly pulling at my restraints, I was rolling, I was rising, but she had me too constrained and it was surprisingly erotic, my arousal was at a heightened peak. I wondered if this was her game with Phil. Again I tried to use my tongue on her fanny, but to no avail. She slid her valley along and then pressed her fanny entrance hard onto my nose and then started to shag herself with my nose, bubbles of her fanny juice filling my nose, my mouth my only option to breath, and as she shagged my nose faster and harder, her mouth sucked my dick harder and her movements on my shaft got longer, she was deep throating herself, and I could see none of it.

My balls began to tighten and I felt a little squeeze of pain deep inside, right at my root, I knew I was close, and then she screamed so loudly and pushed hard down on my nose and my mouth was filled as she squirted. I was struggling to swallow and scream out as my dick erupted, shooting deep into her throat, my orgasm as powerful as any I have had, my buttocks lifting us high of the mattress, my fingers scrunched tight, my fingernails digging into my palms.

Just as I thought I would drown she lifted off me, her finger left my bum, mouth left my cock and I was alone on the bed, my nose full of fanny snot and my cock deflating and dribbling my spunk. My ankles were released and my wrists, and I pulled the eye mask off, blinking in the brightness of her bedroom. She stood at the side of the bed, her chest heaving and her arms on her thighs.

"Wow," I managed, my nose dripping as I managed to sit up.

She nodded. We still haven't shagged. Another day perhaps?