Blind Date

Readers:

You may find this story to be quite different. The typical letters that I have received and subsequently submitted to Literotica have been from ladies. This fascinating tale comes from a male. Moreover, when assigning a category, I wasn't sure what category to assign. It could have just as easily labeled as interracial or fetish....maybe even BSDM. You may find the following letter to be unusual, erotic, or just downright funny, I know I did. The best part is, it was initially confessed to a male counterpart of mine, over many beers at a bar a few weeks ago. Enjoy.

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Dear Dr. Jocelyn,

My name is Jeff. I don't usually write letters. And I am not in the habit of seeking psychological help. Actually, I'm not sure if I even need or want help. It's just that you and I have a mutual friend, Steve. He, like you is a shrink (I hope the term doesn't offend) and says you my find what happened to me a while back interesting.

Apparently you do some work in the field of sexual behavior and patterns or something....and I guess my deal fits in the "something" category. Our friend Steve and I had some beers last week, and I guess I ended up spilling my guts. Damn sports bars! So if I can tell him, I may as well tell a complete stranger.

You see Doc, I don't have a problem with sex, or even women for that matter. I have had my fair share of girlfriends, dates, and what some would term as booty calls. I'm a black guy, tall, muscular and have been told I'm good looking and charming. So what is the problem you ask? Well, in addition to those things I am a bit of a smart aleck and a terrible practical joker. Well this time, the joke backfired on me.

It all started with this stupid computer . About two years ago, it was suggested that I get one. I work in insurance, and never thought I needed a machine. But my coworkers, and more importantly, my regional manager, insisted I get one. The company was going to pay, so why not. They bought me a top of the line laptop, complete with all the bells and whistles, including all the modern programs. One of those was an online service, one of these things where you can talk to people all over the place and get in these chat rooms they have.

The computer was surprisingly great, it really helped me with work, and I found myself saving plenty of time, particularly in paperwork and client research. But the time I saved was spent in these chatrooms...it seemed pretty fun and innocent at the time. One day I was working late, and decided to go into a local chat. It was there I met Michelle.

Michelle and I chatted along with the others for about twenty minutes. She seemed real nice (but what can you tell from a computer I thought)and we continued to chat out of the room. Michelle had been without a boyfriend for a year and a half. She had recently move to Arizona, and only knew people at the hospital where she worked, and a few other friends. She asked if I wanted a picture, and sent it to my email. When I opened the picture I was a bit surprised. She had warned me that she had put on some pounds in the last year, and she wasn't kidding. She must have been close to, or over two hundred pounds. A pretty face, but I couldn't get those hefty two hundred out of my head.

Luckily, I had made no overtures yet, and she wasn't making any my way. But just then I got an idea in my head, a smart aleck idea in this noggin of mine. I could hook her up with Cliff.

Cliff was a good friend of mine. One of those guys that hits on all kinds of women, that tries to get laid as much as possible by playing the numbers game. Kinda of a short, offbeat guy with dark hair and freckles. Complete with lots of mouth and too many cheesy lines. A nut, but always fun to head out with. He didn't care for big girls, but if I kinda forgot to tell him she was big, knowing a woman would never reveal her weight, he would fall for my trick. I figured he would be at some public place with her and it would be too late. It was fucked up I know, but I couldn't resist. I told Michelle about him, and she responded well. That bullshit charm I mentioned earlier convinced her to give me her phone number, so I could forward it to him.

"So what does she look like?" this nut on the other end wanted to know.

"She is fairly average, but more importantly she is lonely" I said. Cliff loved picking on the lonely ones, as he considered them easy prey.

"How 'bout her body man?" wanting to know more.

"She looks good and thick, and anyway, I couldn't tell real well from the picture" lying my way and laughing inside the whole time.

"Well maybe I can go out with her....I guess...or something"

"You guess?" I replied. "Me and you both know you haven't had a piece in a long time, and you know how you get when you ain't gettin' laid. I set it up easy for you, you had better go ahead and punch the ticket"

He agreed, so I gave him the number. I got a call back about a half an hour later. They had planned a date for that Friday afternoon. He thanked me, saying she sounded young, and more important, desperate and lonely. He was already planning to, as he so eloquently put it "pump her and dump her."

How naive he was. This would be one of my better tricks in recent memory.

The laughs lasted 'til about Friday at 3. That is when the call came to my office.

"You fuckin' asshole!" Cliff barked when I answered. "Big practical joker there Jeff, real fuckin' funny guy you are"

"I said she was thick man"

"Thick? he retorted. I know thick, that chick was fat! he went on. But I was lucky cause she made me lunch and I didn't have to go to a restaurant with her"

"So did you do anything?"

"Well uh....well, well I fingered her." he confessed as we both started laughing.

I know Cliff, he may have been pissed at me when he got there, but given the chance for sex, he would take it even if she was big.

"So you got a good meal and some sex, stop bitching at me man"

"But she wouldn't give me head, her shift started a 3 so she left me hangin'."

"So let me guess, you're going back over aren't you?" I asked .

"Well yes I am...on Monday" he replied as we both laughed.

"Ok man, I'll come by after dinner tonight, and we'll go out and hit on some real chicks downtown" I said.

"Cool man, and oh by the way, you have a date with her best friend cause we're double dating."

"What?" I demanded. But the phone was already hung up. The jerk had got me good.

"So what's this about a blind date? I asked later that night.

"She had a friend over for lunch, a girlfriend of hers....I guess she was nervous about meeting a stranger and all, so she had her girl there at first. After we ate and decided to make another date, they asked if I had any cool guys I knew. I figured you hooked us up, and her friend looked outgoing, so I thought we could both get some. I don't want to fuck that big girl, but why not get our dicks sucked?" and he went on "But your chick is hot, I'd do her, and you can charm her into a first or second night fuck I bet."

"So what does she look like?..I know you fool, she is fat too, they hand out in packs" I said.

"Nah man, she is tall...tall like you...mentioned something about playing volleyball. And she has never gone out with a black guy, but her eyes seemed to sparkle when I mentioned you. She isn't fat at all, just real tall and kinda got that volleyball-softball body, with blonde hair and real dark tan. She is fine! You know every fat chick has that one hot friend.

I should have known better, but this was starting to sound rational to me. Maybe this guy was looking out for me, after all, I set him up with plenty of decent girls usually. It wasn't my fault if he almost always managed to screw it up.

"I don't know man, something has to be wrong with this one, it sounds too easy" I said, sounding as if I were a crook planning a bank job.

"Oh, and did I tell you she is a hairdresser...you know how they are." Cliff asserted.

I had always told the guys that some professions lend themselves to loose women...stewardesses, waitresses, telemarketers and almost all hairdressers were sluts, or so I suggested. That last bit of info hooked me, and I agreed to the date. Hell, it was even on a weekday night, there would be no one out and about if it went sour.

Cliff came over that Monday after work. We headed to the suburbs on the outskirts of town to pick up these two. I had no idea what was in store for me that night, but I was relaxed since there was no pressure on my part. I had a few girls I could call to come over for sex, so getting laid was only a bonus, and no sweat if she was a freak or something. I could make a night out of watching this goofball Cliff try to get head from this big chick.

On they way there Cliff announced we were going to The Door. The Door was a big club downtown, with tons of women, a big dance floor and cheap drinks on Mondays. It was also a very public place where people we know could be if they decided to venture out. What the hell was this fool thinking? We could be seen. It was then that I should have known something fishy was going on.

"These chicks want to go there because they know some of the people that work there, think about it...we can get free cover, free drinks and not spend any money. The best part is if they turn out to be duds, we can hit on other chicks and get loaded."

What the hell I thought, he had all the bases covered. We couldn't lose.

The apartment complex his girl lived in was real nice. She may have been big, but at least she had some class.

"You ready?" Cliff asked as we made our way to her building"

"Yea I'm ready, I'm just gonna watch you act a fool all night" I said as he smiled.

We rung the door and waited patiently. Cliff kept tapping his foot and smiling....his face getting redder and redder. I found out why as soon as the door opened.

"Hi, I'm Carrie" as I got the shock of my life.

Muthafucka! This was one big mama!

"Hey Carrie, this is Jeff." Cliff said as he motioned towards me.

"Hi" was all I could get out as I stood in shock. I couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't get over what I just saw. This girl must have been 5'10 and well over 275 lbs....closer to 300 lbs. The look on my face must have said it all.

She smiled and I stood in shock. I literally couldn't take a step or say anything more.

"Well come on up guys" Carrie said.

Cliff was ready to burst, his face had turned a dark red, and it was all he could do to bust out laughing...he had his hand over his smile as he walked in the door, looking at me through his covered mouth. I came out of my shock long enough to lunge at him. I ripped at his shirt as we fought up that first step, him fighting back a snicker and pushing me off his arm at the same time. It was a scene straight out of a bad sitcom.

I watched Carrie waddle up those steps, thinking that I wasn't trapped in a bad sitcom. It was more like the nightmare, appropriately title Carrie. This was going to be a long, horrible night. Ain't this a bitch, that motherfucker got me and good I thought.

"You remember me Jeff." Michelle said as I shook her hand recalling our lengthy internet chat. She went on to say that she never got a chance to see me, but it was fun to put a face with the name. I mumbled some sort of courteous reply, afraid to look in Carrie's direction.

I tried to distract myself by checking out her place. It was a townhouse, with beautiful furniture and well designed accents. The girl had good taste I thought as I tried to take my mind off the forthcoming nightmare.

The girls offered us drinks...but all they had were wine coolers. Wine coolers?? Cliff had one, but I declined, thinking I was going to need something much stronger...this night was not going to be wine coolers, beer or anything light...no, this night was about doubles, shots, and hard, hard liquor!

I stared at Cliff the whole time. He knew I wanted to kill him, that I wanted to light him up. He had that shitty smile the whole time, and kept talking to the girls as he tried to be the catalyst for friendly conversation. We spent about twenty minutes at the apartment, before heading downtown. Michelle had to work in the morning, so she decided she could drive and the rest of us could drink. Good I thought, cause I was gonna get tore up from the floor up!

It was a long trip downtown as Cliff and Michelle occupied the front. I sat on an angle to him, as he kept looking back with that stupid smile.

And then I thought. Why was I acting so messed up? So the girl was fat? Why should I catch an attitude with her? After all, she was being nice, and I started this whole deal by trying to be a smartass. Ok, Jeff, be polite and at least engage the girl in conversation. After all, she might have some cute friends at the salon, or just might be just a nice person.

I found out that most of the only things Cliff told me about Carrie were true. She was a hairdresser, and she liked to tan a lot. She didn't mention anything about black guys and dating, but she grew up in the country and had probably never been exposed to many different.

However, she only played sports were as a child, and I doubt she had seen a court or field in years. But she was very nice, and seemingly quite interested in me. I just kept asking her questions to deflect from me, but that only made her look at me more, and ignore the Cliff and Michelle conversation going on in the front. She looked at me with a resolve and confidence I didn't get. What was she thinking? What did she know?

"You have nice eyes, they say a lot about a person." Carrie said very casually.

I thanked her and tried to keep the conversation going about her job and friends.

Luckily she took the bait and kept talking about her job and life back on the farm, but still had that confident look. It was then that it first started happening. In the middle of one of her sentences, Carrie crossed her leg, putting her big right thigh on top of the other. We were riding in a mid-sized sedan, meaning her leg wasn't that far from me. My eyes, drifted, and came down, almost by accident. Her thighs were huge, and long; and tan as can be. She had on a denim skirt and sandals, so it seemed as though all of it was right in my face....and suddenly I had the image of King Louis XVI, or one of those cats; with that big turkey bone his hand, ready to eat it. I don't know why, but her leg started to look like a tasty piece of meat.

The whole mood of the evening had just took a strange turn. Was I really looking at this huge girl like this? Was I thinking what I think I was thinking? Was that sudden warmth I began to feel a rush of lust? I looked down at my crotch and realized my dick had got hard. Something was definitely up. I glanced at Michelle and Cliff in the front seat and neither had seen anything. I nodded my head looking at Carrie as she kept talking...if she suspected anything, she had not let on. And then as I asked her more questions, I glanced down at her breasts, stomach and legs again. Everything was big, everything tan, and everything driving me crazy. She just talked and looked in my eyes as she did so.

I hearkened back to what Dave Ryan had said. Dave lived in the same dormitory as Cliff, myself, and a bunch of our friend our sophomore year back at university. He was a grad student finishing up an MBA from back east. He was older, and wiser than most of the guys, so I liked hanging out with him. One weekend night, we took him out downtown. He told us if we were smart we would skip the cute "take home to your mommy" types, and get a fat chick. I admitted to having fucked my share of chunky girls, the larger ones that were around at 3 am when the other girls went home, but I sure as hell didn't seek them out.

My other friends were more adamant, saying they would never do it. Fuck that, they said. Fuck is right, David said, you should fuck a fat girl. And not just chunky, fat!! They didn't put you through all the bullshit, they cook well, were appreciative and were much more inclined to give you good hard, fun sex. He said we were dumb, and blind. And as I thought back to my past, he was right, they were the most laid back, good sex partners a guy could ask for. Furthermore, Dave went on...that if you're lucky, you could find yourself a "fat slut"....the kind of woman that knows she is heavy, doesn't get bothered by it, and just wants to fuck. And fuck a lot! He said these girls have confidence in who they are, and didn't give a shit what society thought. Moreover, since they didn't care about society's norms, it also included the normal rules about sex. The guys dismissed it, but I always kept it in my mental rolodex.

In that car that night with Carrie, I thought about what David said. I thought about it as we talked, and I looked at her big body with this growing lust I discovered. Then I started asking myself questions on that in that car.

Is she wearing panties? A thong? How big are those titties anyway? They look the size of my head. How fat are her thighs? Tons of cellulite or fat and thick? I wanna know. She is real tan. Does she do it in the nude? Does she go naked at the lake? She is really warming up to me with the laughing and nudges to my shoulder. I looked at her and then my buddy and his date in the front. I bet I could take out my dick right now, and she would suck it. If it was darker outside I could get between those fat legs and fuck her brains out on this backseat. Who cares what they would say up front. Man I was going out of my mind!

Then reality hit. What the fuck was I thinking? I was about to hop on this heifer only thirty minutes after being disgusted. I needed a drink, or therapy or something. I needed to get to a club with some good looking women and get my head straight. I needed to get my black ass back to the real world. What was wrong with me?

We made it inside The Door free of charge. These chicks did have some pull. We went to the bar where Carrie managed to get us all a first free round. It was she that knew all these people. What gives? Had she sucked some dick behind the bar after closing hours one night? Was she giving hand jobs to the doormen in their cars at 3 am? I didn't know what was going on, but the drinks kept on coming and the club was dark. We might just get away with free partying without our friends catching us with these cows.

But after my buzz came I asked Carrie to dance. The fog machine was on high, and no one would see anything. We danced a few songs and came back to the bar. Cliff was pounding drinks like a drunken sailor.

"Sorry 'bout the joke man, but you had it coming" Cliff said when I made it to him.

"I know, but it is dark, we have free drinks, and there are tons of ladies in here tonight" I said.

"Yea I know, I'm gonna get enough numbers to set myself up for a few weeks." Cliff replied

So that is what we did. We walked around and hit on chicks while Michelle and Carrie talked to the guys they knew and got us free drinks. We didn't care, let the workers talk to those two, and we could hit on the good looking freaks. I thought I would occasionally talk to Carrie, to be nice, and maybe secure a blowjob for later that night if I struck out . I would flirt, then go to the bar and talk to Carrie. She liked the attention as I would not excuse myself too often. Michelle looked bored, so I got Cliff to come with me the next trip to the bar.

"Let's go dance again." Michelle said as she looked at us.

"Sure" I said, as I noticed the dance floor foggy and full of people. We could play this well.

The music was loud, dance music and bass filled the air. Carrie was getting close, and in my face front and center. Before I knew what happened we were kissing....my arms about her big body as our tongues met in a nasty kiss. My grip went to her huge butt, as it took both of my big hands to squeeze her pliant flesh- I instantly recalled all the petite girls, whose entire small, tight asses could fit in the palm of one of my hands. This was not the case tonight. I squeezed harder, and she melted, feeding me her exploring tongue. I backed up and looked around, both Cliff and Michelle looked shocked....then I found Carrie's eyes, filled with that confidence and aggressiveness. She came at me again. Only this time she was the touchy one, rubbing her hands down my chest, and eventually landing on my crotch. My dick was hard, and she found it quick, tracing her long fingernails over my Johnson, and then gripping it with her long fat fingers. This kept going on the entire song as our friends watched- stunned. I knew then, that I was guaranteed a blowjob. Now I was free to roam the club in search of future, better quality pussy.