Another Friday night, another failed blowjob.
Okay, "failed" was probably too strong, I reflected as my beautiful girlfriend knelt between my legs with my penis in her mouth. Still, this was clearly 80% handjob to 20% blowjob.
"It's no good," said Cat, spitting me out. "It's just too fucking big."
I never thought I'd get tired of hearing that but, to be honest, I was starting to get a bit frustrated.
* * * * *
Another Saturday night, another trip to the Union.
Like most students, I seemed to spend half my life here. Tonight was a bit different though, since Cat's younger sister Pippa was up for the weekend. She'd turned eighteen earlier in the year but was still a Sixth Former and wouldn't be coming up to university until September.
As I approached, Cat looked up and smiled. From the look in her eyes she'd started early. Her sister followed her gaze and made a neighing noise before the pair collapsed in giggles.
"What was that?" I asked with a questioning eyebrow.
"Nothing," said Cat, elbowing her sister.
"Sorry, I've got a big mouth," said Pippa. "Look!" she added brightly. And with that she shoved her whole fist into her mouth. "Eee, bwg muff!"
"Big everything," put in Cat, poking her sister's boob. Her finger sank into a ripe mound of springy titmeat.
Cat wasn't kidding. Whilst you would never mistake the pair for anything other than sisters, they had very different body shapes. Where Cat was long and lithe, Pippa was shorter and rounder. There was a bit of puppy fat in her face but the extra weight was more noticeable on her upper body. Pippa was wearing a scoop-necked vest and if her arms were a bit pudgy nobody male was going to notice when so much of her plump pillows were on display. It couldn't last - in ten years time she'd either have thinned out or chunked up - but for now her teenage curves were pretty devastating.
"Just how much have you two had?" I asked in disbelief.
"Enough that you better have some shots to catch up."
"Yay! Shots!" half-shouted Pippa, bouncing up and down in her seat. I'm sure I wasn't the only bloke in there whose eyes were magnetically drawn to her jiggling rack. A fact that didn't go unnoticed by Cat.
"I think you've had enough, sis."
Pippa gave her sister a "whatever" look and leaned forward. "Hi ," she said, thrusting about half a foot of fat cleavage straight at me, "do you think you could be a sweetie and get me a sambuca?"
When I raised my eyes from her tits, I found myself looking straight into my girlfriend's smirking face. "What? She makes a compelling case."
Cat rolled her eyes. "Fine, sambucas all round."
"Yay!" said Pippa, dropping the sober act and resuming bouncing.
"Sit down or you'll give yourself a pair of black eyes," I heard Cat saying as I headed to the bar.
When I got back with three shots (I'd had an extra one at the bar in a clearly doomed attempt to try and catch-up), the pair with collapsed together in hysterics. There was a pink flush on back of Cat's neck a clear sign she'd been drinking. Or was aroused. Well, drinking always made her aroused anyway.
"Ladies," I said, setting down my precious cargo.
"Where's the rest?" said Pippa, squinting at the table.
I shrugged, gesturing at the drinks in front of us. Pippa snorted.
"I need a wee," she said, unceremoniously getting up from the table."I'll get some more drinks on the way back," she added, with a meaningful look at me.
Alone with Cat for the first time, I leaned over and gave her a kiss. "So, having fun?"
"Oh yeah. Great to catch-up. We've so much to talk about."
"Like horses?"
Cat looked genuinely perplexed for a moment but then her drunken brain caught up and she looked unconvincingly confused. "No?"
"Nothing about animal anatomy?"
"Nooooooo..." said Cat, tilting her face away from me.
"Nothing about the relative dimensions of equine and human genitalia?"
"Maaaaaaaybe," she said, turning to face me with a Mona Lisa smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.
"Fuck's sake, Cat," I hissed, "This is the first time I've met your sister - your
teenage
sister - couldn't you have, like, waited? Or maybe not have mentioned it at all?"
"It just sort of slipped out."
"How!?" I asked incredulously.
"I was defending your honour. Sort of. More mine, really. Well, I was kind of just being a bitch. You know what sisters are like."
Thankfully I didn't.
"So you were, er, rubbing my cock in Pippa's face? So to speak."
Just then Pippa plunked a pint in front of me and squeezed back into her seat with two rum and cokes.
"What's going on?" she asked.
"Charlie's annoyed because I was bragging to you about his massive cock."
"Jesus!" I exclaimed, spitting out my first mouthful of lager.
"That's a funny thing to be annoyed about, Charlie," Pippa said, leaning forward. My eyes resisted plunging down into her cleavage for about a nano-second. When they flicked up again, she was grinning at me. "Besides, she wasn't bragging, she was just educating me. She's the big sister; it's her job. Really,
I
was the one who was bragging."
"Oh?" I managed.
"Yes," she said, leaning closer. "You see, Charlie, I'm the deepthroat queen of Stonemere Secondary School."
"Er, right," I stammered, "Well done."
Pippa smiled. "So I was being very unbecoming and bragging about just how good I am at sucking cock." Jesus. "Everyone seems very impressed when my nose touches their tummy," she continued, her smile getting wider and taking on a slightly demonic quality. "Of course, out of curiosity, I had to ask Cat about her technique. Sister to sister, you know? Turns out she isn't really a one for deepthroat. Not that I have to tell you that."
Next to her, my girlfriend was starting to give off a decidedly frosty vibe; apparently she wasn't digging the bants any more. "I'm not a fucking circus performer."
"And that was the education, you see? Cat helpfully informed me that some dicks are bigger than others." At this Pippa dissolved into giggles.
"Look, I'm pleased for you. Honestly, becoming the school bike is a worthy goal," Cat said. Pippa gave her the finger. "But making school boys jizz is not exactly rocket science. All I said was, had you had a real challenge? A real man's cock? Well, a real man's horse cock."
"Okay," I said, "It is definitely time for another round."
* * * * *
Another Sunday morning, another hangover.
I was sleeping on the floor because we always slept on the floor; Cat only had a single in her halls and that was now occupied by Pippa. So I woke up with a stiff back and a cricked neck.
I also woke up with a splitting headache and nine inches of throbbing, rock hard manmeat. With a groan I thrust my hips forward, gently frotting against the floor. For a blessed moment, both aches disappeared but then the new ache of my overtaxed bladder asserted itself. So I gingerly got up to go to the toilet.
"Woah, you'll have someone's eye out with that," came a croaky voice from Cat's bed. Her sister was sprawled half in, half out of the covers, looking up at me with wide eyes.
Nature had called in more ways than one and morning wood had left me monumentally erect. My briefs were obscenely tented out directly towards Pippa's face.
"Um," I said eloquently. If I'd hoped the shock would cause me to soften then I was sadly mistaken. If anything, looking down at Pippa's huge, smashed together cleavage straining at her vest had the opposite effect.
"I better just, er," I trailed off, pointing towards the toilet.
"Yeah, good idea. It looks like that needs some attention," she said, still staring straight at my bulging pants.
"No! I mean, I just, I'm just going to the toilet." And with that stammered justification I left the room.
Of course, I quickly realised I wouldn't actually be able to use the toilet. As I tugged my briefs down, my dick reared up to smack against my abs. It was as stiff as a board and there was absolutely no way any urine was going to successful get out of it into the bowl. I grabbed it with my left hand and dragged it down to the horizontal. Even after all these years, I still couldn't help but savour the fact my hand only covered a third of its length. Look, I know vanity is unbecoming and I try not to have an ego but it's hard when you've got a massive cock. Very hard...
I gave it a stroke. Just one. It felt good. Too good to stop. Maybe Pippa was right and I needed to give it some attention.
Pippa.
I gave it another stroke.
Pippa's breasts.
My hand had started in earnest now.
Pippa's big, fat funbags. Were they twice the size of Cat's breasts? Three times?
My hand was flying up and down my shaft now.
Titfucking Pippa's massive fucking tits.
I choked off my groan just in time as I exploded all over the toilet. I'd managed to get most of what looked like a double measure of spunk into the bowl but 'most' still left a lot to splatter all over the seat, the rim and the wall. Another downside of being overly endowed. Yeah, I know, sorry.
As I mopped myself up and ran some bog roll round the toilet, I started to feel the inevitable post-wank guilt. First the base level shame and then the added burden of fantasising about Cat's teenage sister. Luckily, my urge to piss came roaring back and my hangover kicked in double strength so that pushed such idle thoughts from my brain. I sat down and brushed my teeth and prayed Cat has some paracetamol.
Piss over and strength returning to my legs, I managed to stand up. She did have paracetamol - thank Christ - so I necked four before returning to the room.
When I got back, I discovered that Pippa had kicked the duvet off. Her head was hanging over the side of the bed to talk to Cat which meant I got the rear view. And what a view. Jesus, her arse was basically her tits in bum form: smooth and round and white and huge. Her pants must have been at least a size too small because her bum cleavage was turning them into a thong. At least eighty percent of her arse cheeks had to be fully on show. Despite cleaning out the custard moments earlier, I was already half way to half mast.
I managed to shift myself out of my arse trance enough to notice that their conversation had ended as I returned. Ended suspiciously quickly.
"What were you talking about?" I asked.
"Oh, nothing much," said Cat.
"Yeah, nothing much. Just your fucking massive cock," expanded her sister.
"Pippa!" yelled Cat, thumping her hard in the arm. "You've got a big fucking mouth, you know that?" I knew from bitter experience that hungover Cat was grumpy Cat.
