I admit it. Everything is all my fault. It was me making all the terrible decisions that ended us like this. No excuses. Or maybe a teeny tiny one. The smoking and the drinking would make any persons decision making a bit suspect. And you mix that with a lifestyle I never even knew existed a couple years ago, but that my boyfriend taught me to enjoy and ultimately love... Well, trouble was bound to happen.
I figured out what happened. You can't introduce a girl to her inner slut and then expect her to keep the slut away. Especially when every single night there's role playing and there's sharing me with all his friends and strangers in bars or anywhere, really. Most of it was fantasy, but not all of it. The lines began to blur and I didn't know what was what after a while. All I know is that my boyfriend was loving it and so was I.
We just never really discussed limits. And if there were any anyway? I was new to this. He should have known how to deal with situations better. He should have talked it out and told me what was what. But he didn't. So how was I supposed to know. Like, when he introduced his black best friend into our role playing with a huge black dildo telling me how sexy it would be if T-Dog would pull me into the bathroom at a crowded party and just show me his big black cock. Asking me what I would do if this really happened.
Then, a couple weeks later, it really did happen! Almost exactly as our role playing situation! This couldn't have been a coincidence! Right? Well that event started off almost a whole year of me being quite bad. And mostly being bad with my boyfriend right there...or close by. But a few that happened all by my lonesome. Like the time that my boyfriend Dave had to work out of town for only one night...but that same night, T-Dog stops by with a friend of his. He says he forgot Dave was out of town but since he's already here, maybe we can party for a minute. That minute turned into all night and most of the next day! They barely left minutes before Dave got back home. But the things those two black boys showed me...and did to me... will never be forgotten! Did Dave set this up too?
But that last experience proved to me the difference between black and white sex and how the two are miles apart. I actually considered going only black after that night. But the logistics of it all are just too immense! But from that moment on, I would never pass up or miss a BBC ever again. And some times, I had to go out and get it, instead of it falling in my lap.