Before the Fall

Jeannie had been driving for over an hour and Carol hadn't said a word after "Hello." Jeanie glanced over to see if Carol was sleeping, but she wasn't. She was sitting looking off into the distance, her elbow propped on the tiny sill of the VW's window, her chin resting on her hand.

"You remember what we were talking about when we were coming back to school after Thanksgiving?" Jeannie asked.

"What?" Carol asked, looking at Jeannie as if she had just awakened from a long nap. "I'm sorry, I guess I was daydreaming."

"I asked if you remember what I said after Thanksgiving?"

Carol HAD been daydreaming. She was thinking of how conflicted her emotions were, how she was both excited to see John Kelly again and also couldn't stop thinking about how much she longed to be roughly fucked again by some man like Terry London.

"Sorry, I guess I don't remember what you said." Carol said.

"Remember, you wouldn't shut up about how much in love you were with "John"? And I said "let's talk about it in a month" and see if you still felt the same way? Well, it's been almost six weeks ... and you haven't said a word about him"

Carol self-consciously considered her response, and her hesitation told Jeannie everything she needed to know. Jeannie didn't know anything about Carol's wild sexual adventures, but she knew her friend was troubled.

"What's the matter, hon? You seemed so happy and excited at Thanksgiving, and now, you seem sad and distant." Jeannie said.

"Oh, Jeannie, you wouldn't believe me if I told you!" Carol said.

"Carol, we've been friends since before we were in kindergarten! You know you can tell me anything, and I will still love you!"

"Jeannie, I don't know." Carol answered. Carol longed to talk to someone about what she had been doing, what she had been feeling, and the powerful cravings that still consumed her every day. "If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anyone! Not my mom, not your parents, not anyone at school ... nobody!" Carol insisted.

"Of course, Carol! You can trust me!"

"Jeannie, this is major stuff. I mean, you're going to think I've lost my mind!" Carol explained.

Jeannie glanced at her friend. There were tears in Carol's eyes, and she was looking at Jeannie as if her friend had the lifejacket she needed to keep her from drowning. "Oh, God, Carol, I'm so sorry you're having so much trouble, whatever it is! What is it? C'mon, tell me what's bothering you!"

Carol took a deep breath and looked out the window at the passing flat, frozen landscape again before she finally got enough courage to speak once more.

Carol began by telling her friend how she had fallen so hard for John Kelly while she was at home for Thanksgiving Break. Jeannie nodded, thinking that she was about to be subjected again to Carol going on and on about her new sweetheart.

But Carol soon had Jeannie transfixed when she started to recount what had happened after they had been back at school for a few days. She told Jeannie everything about what she had been doing before break with Thor and Sheila, and then told her the whole incident that had happened the previous summer with Terry London in her mother's apartment.

Before Carol could go on, Jeannie pulled the car off to the side of the road, turned off the ignition, and turned to look at her friend. "Carol, I seriously don't believe what you're telling me. I know you! None of this happened; why are you telling me these things? I was sincere about trying to help you, and you're just making fun of me with these ridiculous stories! That's just the meanest thing I have ever seen you do!"

Carol was stung. She had been pouring her heart out to her friend, and now Jeannie was angry at her for making all of it up. Carol realized that she had done an excellent job of keeping her sexuality private from everyone who wasn't directly involved. But she desperately needed to talk to someone about all of this, and her oldest, dearest friend was the one she needed now. So she looked her friend right in the eye, and said, "Jeannie, I would never lie to you, especially about something as serious as this! I've never talked to anyone about any of this before, and I really, really need you to be my friend right now and let me tell you what has happened!" Carol looked down, finally confronting the shame of some of the things she had done. "I haven't even gotten to the worst part, yet!" Carol's eyes were again dead level with Jeannie's, and she didn't flinch or blink as she said this to her old friend. Suddenly, Jeannie realized that everything Carol had told her, every salacious, unbelievable sexual detail of what she had been saying, was actually true.

Jeannie began to cry, and Carol grabbed her friend in a big bear hug. "Oh, Jeannie! I'm so sorry! We don't have to do this ... it's just too much to ask of you to help me deal with all this crap I've gotten into!"

Jeannie said, "Carol, that's all over! It's in the past. I know you want to get more serious with John, so just forget about all of this, and put it behind you!"

"Oh, Jeannie! I haven't told you the worst part! The worst thing, the thing I've been sitting here worrying about, is not everything that has happened. If that was it, you're right, I could just tell myself that I'd made some mistakes, and forget about it if I could. The worst thing by far, is that I LOVED it ... I still love it! Jeannie, I loved it all, and I want more!" Jeannie looked at her friend as if she were a total stranger. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Carol then told her friend about her encounter with Terry London right after Thanksgiving. She spared no detail, because it gave Carol another sick thrill to reveal her sinful, degenerate side and shock her friend. Carol emphasized that she had not only enjoyed what they had done, but had been the one who had moved her encounter from an apology to another demented sex session. She also told Jeannie that she had enjoyed being abused while she was being fucked, and had enjoyed abusing little Sheila.

When Carol was done with her tale, Jeannie was sitting there looking at her, silent and steady, saying nothing.

The air in the little car had been cold when they had pulled off the road, VW heaters were notoriously lousy, and it had gotten even more cold while they had been sitting there by the side of the highway. Jeannie had a sense of unreality as big stock trucks roared by as if this were just another normal day. Jeannie finally came out of her shocked trance, turned away from her friend, started the car again, and carefully pulled out onto the highway.

"Jeannie! Jeannie, don't go silent on me! You hate me, don't you! Please, Jeannie," Carol cried.

Jeannie drove silently for a while, not looking at her friend, not really even seeing the road. She was in her head, visualizing everything that Carol had told her. Certain events, she went over again and again.

Finally, Jeannie said, "Carol, I don't hate you. You know I could never hate you! I love you, and care about you, and worry about what is happening to you. But what you have told me is hard to believe; it's as if I don't REALLY even know you!"

"I know! I know what you mean, Jeannie, I feel as if I'm two people, myself, and I can't really believe all of this, either! And now, I don't know what to do. I want to have a nice, normal life, maybe marry John. I don't want to be like my mother has been, sleeping with a string of obnoxious drunks until I'm old and life has passed me by! But I also can't stop thinking about how wonderful the sex has been! Jeannie, I'm ashamed of how I feel, but there is nothing as good as having the long, hard cock of some guy, and it's even better if it's a stranger, God help me, deep in my cunt, thrusting up into me over and over again, then feeling him squirting his semen up there! And I know I can't quit doing it!"

What Jeannie wasn't telling her friend was that she, too was now filled with the images of mad, abandoned sex, and far from being critical of her friend, she was jealous of her experiences, and wondered if she had been far too conservative and timid with her own sexual development. Carol had said that she was transported to another place when she was fucking some stranger, and Jeannie wanted to go to that place, too, but was afraid that she didn't have the courage.

"Jeannie, there's more," Carol said, as the little car droned along, the perfectly private confessional for these two girlfriends.

"Carol, tell me everything. You need to let it out," Jeannie said. To herself Jeannie added, "and I need to hear more of this, for my own perverted pleasure."

So Carol told her what had happened after her confrontation with Terry London in Sheila and Thor's apartment.

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When Carol got back to her dorm, she was still on a sexual high, even though her whole groin area, her cunt lips, and her breasts were aching and sore from the abuse they had received. She couldn't stop thinking about the depraved things she had just done.

Carol checked her mailbox before going to her room to take a shower and try to recover, and there were two letters from John Kelly. When she got to her room, she flopped down on her bed, and read them. John told her that he loved her, that he knew it was too soon to make that kind of commitment, and that he knew he shouldn't say it in a letter, but that he couldn't wait until Christmas to tell her of his love. Carol's stomach cramped with anxiety and guilt.

The letters had been mailed on consecutive days, the first one the very next day after she had returned from Thanksgiving Break. They were sweet and loving, and she swooned over his sentiment and charm. He was cute, funny, caring, and romantic.

The letters set up a tension in her mind between her sex-crazed and wanton side and her domestic and romantic side, a tension that had been troubling her ever since she had met John. And perversely, a tension which she knew actually added to her wicked joy when she was having depraved sex with someone else.

She had just finished reading the second letter when her roommate, Linda came into the room. She was crying, and threw herself onto her bed.

"We're done, Carol!" Linda said. "Scotty and I broke up!" Carol wasn't sure she heard Linda right, she was sobbing so hard. It was hard to believe what she thought she heard; Linda and Scott had been together for years, and seemed like the perfect couple.

"Linda, what happened?" Carol said, going over to her roommate's bed and hugging her tightly. Linda sat up, reached for a tissue from her desk next to the bed, and blew her nose, mopped away her tears. She sat quietly for a minute, gathering herself and trying to quit weeping, and Carol stroked her hair with one arm around Linda's shoulder.

"I found out that Scotty was seeing someone else last year. When I was still at home, Scott was here, and he was dating Erin MacFarland!"

Erin MacFarland was a girl in their sorority; she was a very cute girl, and it was whispered around that she was "easy," a girl that was willing to do things with the boys she dated. No one knew this for sure, or knew what "things" she might have done with any of the boys she dated, but nevertheless, that was her reputation. Carol winced internally, thinking of how much she herself actually deserved that label.

"Several people saw them, Carol! And no one ever said anything to me! Everyone has been laughing at me behind my back all year!" Linda said, beginning to cry again.

"No, Linda! No one was laughing at you! Are you sure that this even happened? I can't imagine Scott doing anything to hurt you!"

"Oh, Carol! After I heard these rumors, I mentioned them to Scotty, sort of joking about it like I knew they couldn't be true. I was waiting for him to laugh, too, but he never did! He just looked at me, kind of sadly, and then he said that the rumors were true. He told me everything, Carol; Scott told me that he and Erin had gone all the way. Lots of times! Carol, this was while he was writing me love letters every day, telling me how much he missed me and how he couldn't wait til we were together again! And that whole time, the bastard was fucking that slut Erin MacFarland!" Carol couldn't believe she had heard her conservative, religious friend use the "f" word – she knew Linda was VERY upset and angry. Linda continued, "He said it was all over, and that he loved only me and wanted to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me, and he said he hoped that I could forgive him, but I was so furious, I just slapped him on the face!" Linda burst into tears again, and Carol cradled her into her arms.

Through her sobs, Linda went on, "I was so mad at Scott, I wanted to hurt him, too! I told him 'Good! Because I was seeing Denny Otter last year!" And then I told him that Denny and I had been fucking almost every afternoon in Denny's van!"

"Oh, Linda! Scott had to know that you were just lying to get him back!"

"Carol, I'm not so sure. When I said that, he grabbed my shoulders and held me at arm's length. He stared into my eyes as if he were trying to see the truth in there, then he just let go of me, took my sorority pendant off of his neck, threw it at me, turned around and walked away!" Linda completely broke down at this point.

"Oh, Linda," Carol said, now crying too. "Look, I need to take a shower. Why don't you come with me, and we'll wash this rotten fucking day off of ourselves!"

The two girls got out of their clothes, wrapped their big bath towels around themselves, put on shower caps and grabbed their cosmetic bags. They headed out of their room down the hall to the communal bathroom.

This was a large room, entirely tiled, with a line of sinks in a counter that ran along one wall across the aisle from a line of toilet stalls. Around the corner, an opening in the wall of sinks led to a second aisle from which a row of shower compartments opened. They went into that area, and each selected a stall and started their showers. There was no one else in the toilet rooms; it was dinner time, and everyone was probably in the dining room.

After a few seconds, Carol heard Linda crying pitifully in the next stall. Carol turned off her own shower, and stepped into the next stall and embraced her roommate, trying to console her for her loss. But the dark part of Carol's being reasserted itself, and in spite of Linda's vulnerability, maybe even because of it, Carol began to get aroused at the feel of Linda's supple young body, and the hot water cascading down over the two of them.

Carol was several inches taller than Linda, so she tilted Linda's head up, and gave her roommate a tender, chaste kiss on the lips. Linda accepted her kiss as a friendly and soothing gesture, and returned it softly. After a few seconds, Carol pushed her friend's boundary by extending her tongue to lick gently across Linda's lips. She felt Linda stiffen in her arms.

"Linda, you know I love you! You're my best friend! Let me make you forget about what happened with Scotty today! I know you've thought about this, like I have. Let me make you happy for a few minutes. No one will know but us!" Carol whispered into Linda's soapy ear.

She felt Linda relax a little, and reached up to rinse away the shampoo and soap that Linda had put on her body before Carol joined her. Carol used her hands to squeegee the suds off of Linda's head and shoulders, turning her in the endless hot water to rinse away both the soap and her friend's worries.

Carol continued moving her hands gently across Linda's body, caressing every surface softly, not really focusing on the overtly sexual features, but lavishing attention on every inch of Linda's voluptuous form. Soon enough, Linda surrendered every pretense of resisting, and just accepted Carol's sensuous massage. Carol could see her excitement growing, as Linda's nipples grew under her hands, and when Carol's finger slipped between Linda's legs, she found her friend wet not with just water, but with that oily, warm fluid Carol knew so well.

Linda had quit crying, and was leaning against Carol with her eyes closed. In a few moments, Linda opened her eyes – Carol noticed that Linda's gaze couldn't resist taking in Carol's own erect nipples, and the redness and bruises she wore there from her earlier abuse by Terry London. Linda started to reciprocate and moved to caress Carol's long, lean athletic body, but Carol stopped her and whispered, "Let's get dried off and go back to our room!"

Linda shut off the water, and the two girls stepped out of the shower stall. In their hurry to return to their room, they wrapped their towels around themselves without drying off, and scurried through the chilly hall.

In their narrow room, Carol got out an extra wool blanket that she kept for exceptionally cold nights, and spread it on the floor between their beds. Linda watched in confusion. Carol put the pillows from both beds on the blanket, then unwrapped Linda's towel and her own, grabbed their silly flowered shower caps off of their heads, and tugged Linda to lie on the floor as she descended, herself onto the blanket.

When they were lying on the blanket, much roomier than either of their narrow beds, Carol pulled the extra width of the blanket over them to keep them warm. She began to caress Linda again, but Linda had been given too much time to think about what they had been doing, and seemed tense and reluctant.

Carol reached up into her cosmetic kit, and found her plastic bottle of body lotion. She squeezed a generous portion into her hand, and held it there for a few seconds to warm it. Then Carol slowly began to apply the lotion to Linda's body, starting with the less-threatening areas ... her shoulders, her back, her arms. As she could feel Linda relax, Carol began to explore her more intimate areas: first, her little tummy, then, reaching around behind her from both sides, her buttocks. As Carol spent several minutes sensuously massaging Linda's shapely rear, Linda was beginning to respond and arched her back to push her loins into Carol's and for the first time, Carol could feel her slippery sex gently seated against her own.

Carol slid her hands into Linda's ass crack, concentrating gently on lubricating Linda's tight asshole. Then Carol moved her hands to the front, and against all the sanitation advice their mothers had ever given them, rubbed the lotion forward from Linda's butt crack, across the pleated tissue between there and her outer lips, and ever so slightly into the space between them – not enough to stimulate Linda's inner lips, but enough to let her know that that would be coming, soon, that she was not reluctant to touch her there.

Carol squirted some more lotion into her hands, warmed it, and slid her hands sensuously along Linda's thighs, down to her knees, and then, sitting up, down her calves to her feet. Carol remembered the intense erotic feelings she had had earlier in the day when Terry had done the same things to her, and knew that she could make Linda feel so much better.

She slid her oily hands up along the backs of Linda's legs, and Linda helped her by bending her legs, raising them up away from the blanket below them. Finally, Carol gently urged Linda to spread her legs apart, and Linda did after a second's hesitation. Carol slipped her fingers along Linda's outer lips, then slowly, sawing the edge of her hand up and down, into the space between until she could feel Linda's inner sex, already well lubricated from within.

Linda grabbed Carol's hand, stopped her. "I can't!" Linda said. "This isn't right!"

Carol smiled at Linda, and leaned forward over her, putting her lips on Linda's, and opened her mouth, sliding her tongue along Linda's lips. Carol didn't withdraw her hand in Linda's crotch, nor move it, she just left it there as she kissed Linda ,until Linda opened her mouth, too, and the two girls swirled their tongues around within each others' mouths. Linda removed her hand from Carol's, and Carol resumed her exploration into Linda's genitals, eventually sliding a finger inside her friend's cunt, then two , then three. Carol stroked the top edge of Linda's opening with her thumb, finding her clitoris swelling there, and then began to move her hand rhythmically within Linda's cunt, stroking her clitoris on every pass.