Beautiful Sexy Silly

In rural Pennsylvania, the county fair is still a big deal. Most counties in coal country still have them and since it's understood that most kids are going to skip school to go to the fair, they shorten the school day that Friday to accommodate. Coincidentally school is usually closed first day of deer season too, though that's more of an unofficial state holiday. Hardly anyone, except for transplants from the city, is working. It's a different lifestyle, a different mentality, and everyone comes back the next day with stories about the one they got or the one that got away. This story is about one that got away. She was beautiful, sexy, and silly. She was a fox that I had little hope of being able to outwit.

I remember the day my buddy Chet dared me to ask her to the county fair. I had just gotten my license which meant I was finally an eligible contender among the guys at our school. It had taken me a while to pass my driver's test since my old man insisted I take it in a stick shift. Must have been a dozen times he drove me to the DMV in Harrisburg before I was legally able to drive us home. When my grandfather passed, my dad saved his Pontiac and we fixed it up for me to drive. Chet was hazing me in his usual style as I showed him my new license.

"Wow, man! Just in time for senior year!" Chet snickered. "The babes will be banging on your door for sure!"

Chet was the kind of friend that most people had in high school and then never talked to except at the reunions. He wasn't unlikeable but he wasn't the kind of friend you kept in touch with. After a while you got tired of having to try to buy beer to replace the ones he'd steal from your dad's fridge. He was fun but high maintenance. He was also a catalyst for your spirit of adventure, he would push you to do things you would never do, like ask Miranda Benson to the county fair. I didn't want to lose my bet with him so I went over to the table where she sat.

She was surrounded by her friends, all of them stuck-up townies.

I knew Miranda lived in the country like me. She lived on a farm off of Stroehecker Road. The only reason I knew that is because my dad had done some work in her dad's barn fixing some storm damage. Sam Benson was a big man with hands that could crush a cantaloupe and fingers as thick as sausages. He always had his.357 magnum in his pocket and a sawed off shotgun next to the back door. Miranda's older sister, Amy, once had a peeping tom and ol' Sam used that hot pipe to fill her interloper with both barrels of 00 rock salt.

Sam's youngest daughter, his baby Miranda, was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She had long blonde hair, blue eyes and dimples. She was a cheerleader, played softball, and was one of the fastest runners I had ever seen. Those short shorts they wore at the track meets really showed off her powerful legs. When she ran her hair flew wildly behind her despite being in a pony tail and her boobs, oh man, I remember her boobs looked great in those red pinnies. Seeing her run made me think of Baywatch; Pam Anderson running on the beach in that red one piece. I would love to go out on a date with her, but if her dad decided he didn't like the way I looked at her I'd be dodging bullets.

"Mike. Mike did you hear me? Mike!"

Oh shit, how long had I been standing here? I'm sure I had a dumb look on my face.

Here goes nothing. "Miranda, hi, I'm Mike."

"I know who you are. I had American History II with you last year. Honestly I probably wouldn't have passed if you hadn't let me copy your notes." She smiled. Oh that smile, there was something wholesome and sweet about it, it could end all wars. It made you forget yourself and swim in those bright blue eyes. She had the cutest dimples too, highlighting those nice high cheek bones. I had forgotten that I let her use my notes in study hall. Anyhow, back to business I have to ask her out or I'd have to give Chet twenty bucks.

"Miranda, I was wondering you wanted to go to the county fair with me tomorrow?" Here we go, the die is cast, no turning back now.

She looked to her friends; they tried to be sneaky about shaking their heads "no". She looked back up to me. Her lips pursed, I was dying. "Sure! I would love to." She smiled again, my knees buckled and I could swear my mouth was so dry it was like I ate whole box of crackers and had no water.

"Oh, wow! Sure." I said. "I would love that too!" She played with her hair a little and watched me desperately search for something to say. I was stunned, she said "yes". I might have died. I couldn't be sure. Maybe I was in Hell and Old Scratch was just fuckin' with me again. I turned to face my friends, they were laughing hysterically. Chet was looking at me quizzically motioning thumbs up or thumbs down. Miranda gave them all two thumbs up and a big wide grin, they laughed and toppled over each other like bowling pins. They were all snickering and pointing, but I had won.

"What time do you want to pick me up, Mike?"

"Uh, noon? Yeah noon, we can get there early and get a bite to eat."

"I can be ready at noon, now Pa is gonna want to meet you and all, make sure you aren't some weirdo like that business with my sister Amy. Don't you worry about him though, he's a push over."

"Uh, okay. I'm sure he's nice." I said absently.

"Lemme see your hand, I'll write my number down so you don't forget." She took my hand and wrote her phone number in large swoopy numbers and signed her name with a little heart above the "i". I was way out of league here. Her friends stared at me agape.

"Thank you." I blurted as I turned. I was staring at the glittery pink writing on my palm in disbelief. As my eyes focused on my friends I could see that they all had taken to staring as well. Chet nodded in approval.

"Oh and Mike, don't keep a girl waiting, Daddy won't let any of his girls date slouches. Be there at noon if not a little early." I nodded dumbly.

Sure I could be there at noon. What time is that? What is time? Should I leave now? Couldn't hurt I guess.

When I got back over to the table Chet handed me a twenty. I sat down in front of my sad excuse for a cheese steak and the world and all the clamor of the high school cafeteria fell away. What the hell had I gotten myself into?

I pulled up to the end of the gravel road leading to Miranda's house. There was a sign hanging from the porch with a revolver on it and read "Forget the dog, beware of owner!" I wore a nice pair of blue jeans and a white t-shirt. I combed my hair and even put on some of my dad's Jovan Musk. I heard a whistling from behind me.

"It's been a while since I seen one of those! Pontiac Trans Am and I like the color." I turned and saw Sam; he must have been in the barn. "You must be Donny's boy, Michael." He said extending a hand.

"I am." My voice cracked a little bit. I saw a tattoo of an anchor with rope and the initials "USMC". That's great, that's just really great. Never mind the hand cannon he carries in his overalls or the hog-legged duck gun he keeps just inside the door, anything is a weapon in this guy's hands. He caught me staring at his arm.

"That's just a little something I got before I went to 'Nam." He smiled. "Miranda says you asked her to go to the county fair?"

"Yes, I did."

He rubbed his bushy, grizzled beard and replied "Well I have to say you'll be getting there in style, three-speed?"

"Four on the floor actually." He looked at me approvingly. I cleared my throat. "Sir." I finished. He chuckled and patted the roof as one would pat the neck of a treasured horse.

"You don't have to 'sir' me son, I work for a livin'. I gotta wonder what you and Miranda are gonna talk about if you don't have more than five words to say at a shot."

"That's cause you are down right scary to every fella who asks me out." Miranda chimed in. "Ain't no secret you carry that gun every where." She was stunning, she wore a lovely blue baby doll dress and had black ribbons in her curly hair. She had a modest lipstick and a splash of blush.

"It's for varmints and such, damn ground hogs got more holes in the back field than swiss cheese!"

"Mind your cussin' Daddy, you know Momma don't like it."

"You're right sweet pea. You two have a good time this afternoon." He hugged her. "Just try to get back as a reasonable time, we're still gonna need help with the chores tomorrow mornin'."

"We will daddy." With that Sam left and my colon descended back down closer to where it belonged. "Is this your car? It's nice, I like old cars."

"Yep, my dad saved it after grandpa died and we got it running." I said, kinda proud now that I heard it said. "Allow me" I said opening the passenger door.

She sat in my car and I closed the door with a clunk, older car doors always did that. I raced around to the drivers side and hopped in, eager to put as much distance between me and redneck Rambo as I could. When I got in she smiled at me. I turned the key and we left, a small cloud of dust from the gravel trailed behind us. The whole way there we talked about school and plans for after school. She really wanted to go to beauty school, learn how to cut hair and do make up. She wanted to open a salon someday.

I wish I had my shit together as much as she did. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I guess I could go to school. She asked me what for and I told her I didn't know. She told me sometimes the journey takes you where you need to go even if you have no clue how to get there. She was absolutely perfect in every way: beautiful, charming, smart, thoughtful. I wondered why she was here with me and not someone else. What did she see in me?

As I pulled up to the fairgrounds, we smelled the funnel cakes. I parked the car and we made our way to the ticket booth. She leaned over at me and whispered "You can pay, rather I guess Chet can pay." as a wicked smile broke across her lips.

"You saw that?" I asked.

"I take it you saw my friends shaking their heads 'no'?" I nodded. After I paid for the tickets she took my hand and we went inside. "I came here with you because you asked me to, you would be surprised how few guys ask me out." She laced our fingers together. "I want to be here." She smiled again. "Now lets go get a funnel cake. My treat this time."

We sat on the grass and ate our funnel cake. She asked me why I was friends with Chet. I wasn't sure why honestly. He was kind of a dick. She agreed. She was full of good questions. She told me that she would have never come here with Chet. No matter how horny she was. Did I hear that correctly? She smoothed out the folds of her dress against her legs.

I was feeling kinda bold. "Why did you say yes?"

"Short answer: You're not Chet. You don't think the world owes you anything. You are so caught up in wanting others to like you that you are unlikeable....And you take really good notes." She giggled. I couldn't help but laugh as well, she was intoxicating.

"Thank you. I really like Mr O'Neil's class. He's really into what he teaches, it kinda gets you excited too. Like when you laugh or smile I want to laugh and smile."

"That's why I like you, you are helpful, kind. Chet would have said something stupid like 'so I'm some kind of nerd?!'" She lowered her voice in a mock impression of him. She was right. I hadn't really thought about it like that but if she was paying him a compliment, he would have blown it off. I felt my confidence draining. What else was she calculating behind those lovely blue eyes; still waters run deep. She licked her fingers clean teasing me just a little. She leaned in and gave me a peck on the cheek.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"You looked like you needed it."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. You know what I need? I need a big, strapping lad to win me a prize at one of these rigged games!"

"I reckon I might be able ta do that fer ya, little lady." I said in my best John Wayne. We laughed together.

"Well alright, pilgrim." She replied in her rendition of his gravelly cadence. She pointed to one of the oversized teddies they always hang prominently to lure you in. "I think you should try to win me one of those huge teddy bears, one so big it makes Amy jealous."

"Oh, I don't know," I said. "I'm not a very good shot." I was lying. I could shoot the flies off a cow's ass. I won her the biggest, pinkest bear the snaggle-toothed shyster who ran the shooting gallery had. She squeaked and danced with glee as he took it down and handed it to her.

"Wait until I tell Pa what a crack shot you are!"

Please don't, I thought, I don't want to end up on "Unsolved Mysteries".

"Let's take this to the car, we can come back later." She slung the massive plushy over her shoulder and held my hand with the other as we went to the car.

I put the bear in the back seat and we got in the front. She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "That was very impressive back there, no one has ever been able to win me a prize like that. I feel like that earned you another kiss." The fluffy pinky teddy's lifeless black eyes stared at me in the rear view mirror. I could smell her hair, it smelled like peaches and vanilla. She whispered in my ear, "I was hoping maybe we could stay here in the car for a little bit." She lightly bit my ear lobe. As she started caressing my neck and ran her fingers under my collar.

I was okay with staying in the car for a while. She kissed my neck and collar bone. She was a very light kisser, barely made contact. It was far more sensual than I was expecting a make out session in a car to be. Not that I was complaining. It was then that I realized I wasn't doing anything. I could be trying for first base or even stealing second.

I met her lips with mine and we kissed. Her lipstick left a waxy taste in my mouth and the powdered sugar on her lips from the funnel cake made her kisses taste sweet. Her soft, full lips bounced back just perfectly as I pressed my mouth to hers. She ran her hands under my shirt, lightly pressing against my chest and abs. Her breathing picked up. I put my hand on her hip and slowly ran it up across her belly to her soft breasts. I cupped one. Over the top of her dress it still felt warm and soft. She looked into my eyes as we explored each other. Whatever she was searching for, I hope she saw it in me. Then suddenly she pulled away and I heard a tapping on my window.

I looked up to see Officer Jackson. He had come into our school a few times to talk about drugs and tell us to "just say no". I rolled down the window. Miranda turned and smoothed out her dress nervously, clearing her throat. I didn't get a word out.

"You both over eighteen?" He asked.

We both nodded, "Yessir." I said trying not let my voice crack. He nodded and frowned disapprovingly before he pushed his aviator sunglasses up and spoke.

"No neckin' here, there's little kids and families." Then he turned and walked away. I looked over and Miranda was mortified and blushing. She her hair was tousled from our short but very sensual tryst.

"I'm sorry, I got a little carried away. I'll take you home." I turned the key and the engine rumbled to life. She put her hand on mine as I reached for the shifter.

"He said there's 'no neckin here', lets go somewhere where there can be neckin." She bounced her eyebrows to make sure I picked up on the subtext. She was such a fox. She slid the loose folds of her dress up a little more revealing more of her toned thighs. "Lets go to Old Sawbeck Mill Road and park behind the train tracks."

My heart started racing. There's two reasons why we would go there: to smoke some grass or have sex. I was down for both but I was hoping it would be the latter. I pulled out of the fairgrounds and turned toward the direction of the abandoned mill. The smile on her face grew wider as she watched me turn. She slid her hands down and pulled her dress all the way up to her stomach. I could see her red panties, cotton with no lace, nor printed patterns. There was a perfect little bump beneath and some light brown hair stuck out from the side. I kept stealing glances at her legs and groin.

"Eyes on the road over there, Bandit." She said playfully. God she was perfect. She pulled an arm inside the dress and lifted it off over her head tossing it in the back seat. She had a white bra, cotton again and no frills. Her breasts hung nicely in her hand-me-down bra despite it being a bit too small. She was popping out of the top a little. She adjusted them and slid down in the seat a little bit so passing cars couldn't see she was practically naked. Still modest, and if I'm being honest that was way sexier to me that if she would have been flashing those glorious tits at everyone who passed us. Besides, she would have caused so many accidents.

I looked over at her, her eyes set ahead. Her lips curled into a smile, those cute dimples and blonde curls belying her wicked intentions. The rhythm of the turn signal as we waited was driving me nuts. Finally, we made it on to the rutted dirt road that was Old Sawbeck and she placed a hand on mine as I moved the shifter. She reached over a little further and put her hand between my legs. I was already hard. She giggled and patted the inside of my leg, squeezing my knee. I found a nice quiet spot out of the way in this out of the way place. I parked under a big Elm whose ropy branches gently swayed in the crisp autumn breeze. I brakes squealed slightly as I parked and shut off the engine.

"Perfect." she said as I pulled the keys from the ignition and turned to face her. "I think we should hop in the back." I got out and put the teddy bear in the front like he was driving.

"Keep it between the white and yellow lines Mr. Teddy, and no speeding!" She laughed as she pulled her underwear off and unhooked her bra.

Oh shit! I guess we aren't doing the sexy undressing, we are going right into it.

I peeled my clothes off, got in the back seat with her and closed the door with a 'thunk'.

"Hi."

"Hi." I replied. She was completely nude. Not even blushing at this point, her hair hung almost low enough to hide her small, pink nipples. A tease, but you still got to see everything. She had a little belly button and a birthmark on her hip I had seen once before when her skirt got snagged on something during a cheer routine and half the school saw her pastel undies. Then my eyes fell on her groin, a pleasantly plump mound of flesh covered with well groomed hair. She touched herself a little bit then leaned in for a kiss. I met her and we picked up where we left off. She put her hand on my dick and felt the shaft and balls. I felt sheepish. I hadn't shaved and it wasn't the biggest by comparison. I had seen other guys in gym class so I know what I'm up against.

"That's a nice cock you got there."

"Thanks, I sometimes trim it, so it's not so hairy."

"It's perfect. I like how the hair tickles my nose when I suck them." She said, in between breaths and kisses. "It's yours and I want to be with you 'Deadeye'." She had nothing but smiles for me today. " I wanna try something I saw in one of daddy's magazines. You sit this way and I'll sit the other and we can you know... I kinda knew. I did this with Becky Shimpsky in 10th grade but she didn't seem to enjoy it as much as the chicks in the movies I'd watched. I usually fast-forwarded through that stuff anyhow. I kinda wished I hadn't been so myopic in my porn watching habits now that Miranda's hips hovered above me waiting for me grab them and give her the business. I might have picked up a thing or two from those skin flicks but if you are watching them it means the parents aren't home and you have a short window to do the deed and hide the tape again before being discovered.

"You alright back there?" She looked at me between her tits, her hands gently stroking me. I hadn't even noticed in my revelry. It was nice, she ran up the entire shaft and twisted her palm over the head before going back down and gently squeezing my balls.