05

Chapter Four—Home Again, Home Again

That night, for the first in as many as he could remember, Tessa didn't hound Simon for sex, for which he was grateful.

"So, you got the job I assume."

"Uh huh."

"And you like it?"

"Oh yes," Tess assured him. "Good night, Simon. I've had quite a busy day." Tess was asleep almost immediately, dreaming of doctors, doctors, doctors.

After three weeks of no sexual activity and not being begged for any, Simon began to wonder about his decision to send Tess back into the working world.

"Just what is it you do there, at the bank?" He inquired.

"Oh, typing, filing, lost of exhausting busy work, running errands. I'm coming and going all day long."

"It certainly does seem to be wearing on you," Simon agreed. "Just exactly what is FNS Bank's affiliation?" He wondered.

"Out of New York. They're a sister company of some big fat New York bank," Tess bluffed. "Something like that. They've been in business for quite some time now." Don't say you're going to check it out.

"Maybe I'll check it out."

He always said that. Fortunately, he rarely did so. Being a "junior executive" he knew precious little about precious little, including how to check anything out, even, Tess often felt, a library book. Tess, on the other hand, loved to check out library books and did so often—anything from anthropology to ancient mythology, Greek classics, and greats of the English and Russian literary world.

Tess had been picked up by Simon four years ago at his office where she was playing the part of a receptionist. He'd asked her out for lunch. She had suggested the Hilton down the block from their office. Lunch had turned into room service and an hour of the best sex Simon ever encountered.

The very next day Simon had insisted Tess quit the company and move into his apartment, demanding only that she stay there and keep house. Bed, however, was the only thing Tess could keep very well.

Four years later things had petered out, so to speak. Then Simon had discovered Tess in the act of molesting the paper boy and sent her out to work. "Good decision," he decided. "Damn good decision."

"God, what a break," Tess sighed to herself, "What a wonderful job."

*

Chapter Five—The Viewing Room

Tess had just that morning discovered the pop up Ever-Growing Penis attached to her office chair and had been amusing herself with it all morning. Mary Beth had apparently expected Tess to find it on her first day when she'd sent Tess in to fill out the employment form. The chair was an invention of Dr. Williams', and he'd named it the Secretary's Best Friend.

"Tess," Dr. Smith's voice came over the intercom, "Come in here please, I have dictation for you."

"Sure," Tess snapped the Ever-Growing Penis back down to where it protruded under the office chair. Soon it would deflate and become flush with the chair bottom.

Dr. Williams, from the viewing room above Tess's office snapped shut his silver vial and returned to his office down the secret back stairs. He had an idea for a great new invention thinking he might name it after Tess.

"Yes?" Tess entered Dr. Smith's office.

"Over her," Dr. Smith indicated she should place her dictation pad on his desk. "Lean over the desk. I have a special treat for you."

Tess did as she was instructed while Dr. Smith lifted her red knit skirt.

"Spread your cheeks, please."

Uh oh, here it comes, thought Tess, what she'd been fearing and fantasizing about for years. The Dr. was picking up an apparatus that looked just like ...

"A turkey baster?" Tess inquired.

"Not exactly. We call it the Butt Baster. Keep them spread now."

The Butt Baster's contents felt warm and tingly. There was a wonder numbing sensation and only a slight short scream from Tess as Dr. Smith entered and began pumping away furiously, one round taunt cheek clutched in each hand.

"Regarding ... your recent order of ... ten gross Ever-Growing ... Penis's ..."

My God, he really expects me to take dictation during this! Tess thought.

But then he came.

And when he came, he stayed. That part felt good too.

"Can't save the specimens from this," Dr. Smith panted, exiting. "Too high of a contamination risk." Dr. Smith pulled a large box of FNS Bank's patented Sanitation-Lubrication Wipes (known as Sani-Lubes) out of his lower desk drawer. "I'll just clear up a bit --you do the same—and we can get on with this letter. Orally. Should give me enough time for a real specimen donation."

Dr. Smith always referred to his sperm bank contributions as specimen donations. He sat down in his soft, cozy swivel rocker, a soft cushion at his feet for Tessa to knell upon while taking notes.

"Now, where were we?" He began.

Where were we? Tess thought. You were up my...

"Ah, yes. Dear Ms. Chandler: Regarding your recent order of the Ever-Growing Penis. Our order department [which Tess knew consisted of Larry and Donny] was perfectly correct in sending you ten gross of this product, as your request stated 'ten gross Ever Growing Penises'. The fact you intended "gross" as an adjective is not our concern. Sincerely yours, and so on."

Tess removed Dr. Smith's personal growing penis from her mouth long enough to giggle.

"Silly, spoiled sorority girls," Dr. Smith explained. "Serves them right. Actually, they'll probably make a fine profit selling them off to the silly spoiled fr fr fr FRIENDS."

Dr. Smith often tended to stutter and shout towards the end.

"Place this in the depository on the way out, would you?" he asked, snapping shut the plastic cap to his silver vial and zipping up the fly of his expensive black suit. "Thanks so much."

Then he was back to pouring over the accounts of FNS Bank's Specialized Accommodating Paraphernalia Department, Dr. Williams' specialty.

After depositing Dr. Smith's specimen donation, Tess was sitting back at her Secretary's Best Friend chair and desk, where she discovered the present Dr. Williams had left for her.

And Dr. Johnson, having watched the dictation procedure from above Dr. Smith's office, snapped shut his silver vial and moved on to take a seat in the Viewing Room above Tess's office.