I arrived for my interview five minutes early. The receptionist, James Bolton according to his desk nameplate, buzzed his boss, and I was ushered in to see her with no waiting. The plaque on her door read: "Melanie McCoy, Vice President of Customer Relations".
"Take messages for all my calls, Jimmy."
"Certainly, anything else, coffee?"
"No, Jimmy, thank you." She followed him to the door, locking it after him. Melanie stood about five-six, early thirties, light skin, on the slim side, small features, hazel eyes, and red hair that she parted in the middle and wore in a page boy. She wore a business suit with a loose A line skirt that stopped just below her knees. The light green color complemented her hair and eyes. She wheeled a portable clothes rack from a closet and sat back behind her high tech desk, opening a folder containing my application. I could see my name, Richard Dane, on the label of the folder.
"Thank you for coming, Mr. Dane, and although it wasn't necessary, thank you for wearing a suit."
"I want this job. The work sounds interesting and it pays well. And please call me Dick."
"Okay, Dick, let's be informal. Call me Mel. Your application and photos seem to be what we're looking for. Take off all your clothes and let's see what we have to work with."
With shoes, socks, tie, shirt, and suit neatly hung on the rack, I stood in the only underwear I ever wore, a pair of Jockey briefs, the color of the day being light blue. She looked at them and smiled.
"What, the color is funny?"
"No, I like the color. I was just playing a girl's guessing game, boxers or briefs. I guessed right."
"There's really no choice. Boxers just won't do the job."
"Oh? Why's that?"
"I'll show you." I hooked my thumbs in the waist band and slipped off my briefs. When my package was revealed, I heard a surprised laugh. I looked up at her and saw that she had covered her mouth with her hand to stifle further laughter, had lowered her eyes, and was blushing.
"I...I'm so sorry," she stuttered. "I don't mean to make fun of you. It's just that you have the smallest penis I've ever seen on a man. And in contrast, you have the biggest testicles I've ever seen. The combination just looks funny. I'm sorry."
"Oh, that's okay. Don't be embarrassed. I'm not. You're not the first to find me amusing. I'm sure I've caused many inner gleeful laughs from other males in locker rooms and showers."
"Guys really do that, check each other out? I'd like to see that." She'd regained her composure.
"Oh yeah, but not by barking out a laugh and turning beet red. Furtive glances usually. It doesn't bother me. In those situations we are all flaccid, so it doesn't mean much. Erection makes everyone about the same." She raised her left eyebrow.
"Well maybe so," she said with a little smile. "I'll have to introduce you to my husband sometime." She got back to business and opened my folder to look at my photos. The application had required front and side view color photos with a full erection. Mel was looking first at my small cock, its shrivel of foreskin ending before my ball sack barely got started, and then looking at my photos, shaking her head, probably thinking "false advertising". She put the photos down and removed a tailor's tape measure from a drawer, then came around her desk and knelt in front of me. The tape was made of some non-stretching synthetic and had precise markings in inches and centimeters. She unrolled it and measured down the front of my cock.
"Well, not counting the raisin at the tip, you've got an inch and three quarters. That's got to be a record dick, Dick." She seemed pissed at me for wasting her time. She threw the tape on the desk and wheeled an armless, backless chair to the front of her desk, adjusting its height to a few inches less than the height of the desk. She kicked off her pumps and sat on the desk facing me. She propped her feet on the stool, spread her legs wide, and pulled her skirt up tucking it in the waistband to hold it up and free her hands. Mel wore no hose nor panties. Her pussy spread open for my enjoyment and stimulation. The hair along the sides of her outer lips was trimmed short, but on her mound grew a lush bush of reddish brown, curly pussy hair. A real redhead. Her bigger lips were white like her flawless thighs. Her inner lips and her meat in between were a light pink, glistening with a thin sheen of pussy juice. She wet her fingers in her mouth and started stroking up and down her inner lips and rubbing gentle circles on the skin covering her clit. At the same time, she flexed her fuck muscles, making her cunt opening wink at me.
The air circulation in the room must have been from her toward me. I couldn't smell any perfume, but I did whiff a fragrance much more powerful; the clean, heady aroma of a highly sexed woman's fully aroused pussy. I felt my cock stretch and thicken as it engorged with blood. My heart didn't have to pump more than ten times to give me a full hard on. Mel no longer looked pissed as she stared at my erection. Now she looked surprised. She picked up the photos and compared them to real meat and blood, shaking her head, "I guess you never can tell."
Mel kicked the chair away, pulled down her skirt, and put her shoes back on. She got a palm computer from her desk, retrieved the tape measure, and knelt before me again. Placing her tools on the floor, she massaged my balls, rolling them around in my bag to feel their size, and gently bouncing them to appreciate their weight. She smiled up at me, "With balls as big and hard as these, you should go into the sperm business. You'd be a millionaire."
I smiled back, "Sounds like a great business idea, provided I got to make direct deposits into my customer's cunt. Unfortunately, there's no market. Too much free product. But now you know why briefs instead of boxers."
"Well, I guess so! My god, they're as big as kiwi fruit! You must be very proud of them."
"It's love/hate. I like it when you get wet from playing with them, even more when you make me pump their cum deep into you, but the rest of the time, packing them around is just a hassle. It's almost like a woman with big tits, except she gets to show hers off. If I did that, I'd get arrested."
"Enough admiration. Let's get you measured and fitted." I wasn't sure what "fitted" meant, but thought it might be fun finding out.
My erection had caused the foreskin to partly retract, exposing the mouth and lips along with half the head. Mel expertly peeled me, snapping the skin behind my shiny, purple acorn. She measured along the top of my cock and entered five and a half inches into her little computer. She then slipped the skin back over the head, gripped my shaft firmly in her fist, and stroked me, building up speed until my cockhead was a blur as it popped in and out of her tight fist. She released me from her grip leaving me once again peeled. My cock jumped closer to my stomach, becoming slightly longer, thicker, and harder. Mel re-measured and punched five and three quarters inches into the keypad. She kept jacking and measuring me until she had entered all my dimensions.
"Well, what's the verdict? Am I qualified?"
"You've got a nice cock. You're prow shaped, so even though you're under six inches dorsally, your bottom tube is almost seven inches from your balls to the lips of your cockhead. He's a thick little guy; over two inches wide and almost six inches around. And once I got his attention, he got very hard. I also like the widely flared, elongated head. Personally, I think the light brown color of your shaft is exotic. My hubby's is white. So, in a nutshell, pardon the pun, yes, you may be what we're looking for. Of course, I'll have to test it to know for sure." Test it?
"What was all the precise measuring for?"
"Oh, well you know you'll have to wear a condom?"