I've been baby-sitting since I was about fifteen and I used to wonder what the hell people saw in each other and why they would let someone of the other sex do that to them. It seemed vaguely disgusting to me. I've grown since then and shortly after I turned eighteen my then boyfriend was able to show me exactly why people did that and why other people let them. It was quite an experience.
I'm still on the unemployed list so I still baby-sit. It's the only way I can gather a few bucks for myself and feel that I've earned them. The money I get from sitting is more mine than the dole or donations from my parents.
I enjoy sitting. I'm a sociable type and I get on well with both kids and parents. Also, being a bit older, I'm starting to see what the wives see in their husbands, although I'm still totally lost what some of the husbands see in their wives. Maybe that's envy speaking. I don't know.
But really, take the McGregors, for instance. Ian's a big, noisy, man of Scottish descent, loud and boisterous and very, very Scottish. Janet is the dead opposite, meek and mild and very quiet. She just seems to fade into the background whenever he's there.
The reason that Ian and Janet McGregor popped into my mind is because I had a sitting appointment with them. I fronted up, getting there just as the kids were being put to bed. I always try to get to an appointment before the kids are asleep so they know I'm around.
So it was a case of kiss the kids hullo and goodnight and see Janet and Ian off. Janet was dressed normally for a night out but Ian, wow. For some reason he was wearing a traditional Scottish kilt. It's amazing what a nice kilt does for a man. Shows his legs for a start. I gave him a little wolf-whistle when he came into the front room dressed like that.
They went their merry way and I watched TV and texted on the phone. It was quite late when they returned. Ian came bouncing in, still full of life, but Janet seemed to just sidle through the door, looking beat. It didn't really surprise me when she headed straight off to bed. Ian, on the other hand, turned on the TV. Apparently there was a game he was going to watch.
I politely coughed to let him know I was still there and when he looked at me I rubbed thumb and fingers together.
"Oh, right. Of course," he said, whipping out his wallet and shovelling out the shekels.
I tucked my pay into the purse and prepared to depart. Still, I had to know the answer to that old question.
"So tell me, Ian, just what does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?"
He stood there, looking at me thoughtfully.