Tina sits beside her friend Charise as they crawl along the snowy roads. She is happy that her best friend of many years is a skilled winter driver. As it turns out, they are both competent in a lot of things and within similar interests, that is why they have been so close. They had met four years ago when Charise had started tutoring her in chemistry. It was Tina's first year of college and she had been struggling. Charise had made it look so easy. They have been friends ever since.
Their interests have always been common, and that includes their shared love for Tina's father. This is in different ways of course as Tina loves her father as a protector and as the man who has raised her. Charise has had a romantic interest for a long time. They met at Christmas two years ago when Charise accompanied her best friend home for the holidays. It was a happy holiday for Tina because they had hit it off so well. She knows that he has been so down and defeated within his personal life ever since her mother had run off five years ago. She had left him and her two kids very quickly after falling in love with a foreign teacher at an education conference. Her father had been devastated and crawled into a deep personal hole. To this day, he has never quite crawled out.
"You're quiet," Tina smiles, "You haven't talked in over an hour."
"Hmm," Charise uttered, "Just thinking about what I am going to say."
"You've been emailing, calling each other, and you even came for a visit three times over the past year," Tina says, "It's not like you've lost touch."
"Yeah but," Charise sighs, "Tina your dad is so shy, or closed off with his feelings."
"Just tell him," Tina says.
"He is so deep in regrets and all that," Charise says, "Do you really think he can get past that and forget enough to have a relationship?"
"Yes I do," Tina answers.
"Well we are almost there, and I told you this time I am determined to find out, or else forget the whole thing," Charise says.
"Patience hon," Tina says, "You're going to need some to get through to him."
"I can do that," Charise says.
"Because?" Tina prods.
"I love him," Charise sighs, "That's all there is to it. But is it enough?"
Tina doesn't answer because she really doesn't have one. On this trip she is hoping for the best. She has seen her father have an entire mid-sized city smiling, who last month elected him mayor. But when it comes to relationships, he is damaged. She only hopes it is not beyond repair. Tina knows that he and her mother married very young. Her own father is only eighteen years older than her and he will be forty next year. Her best friend Charise is several years older than her at thirty. She comes from a mixed heritage with an African American father, and Thai mother. Tina has always found her quite striking. Tina knows there will be a few boundaries in this mostly white community. They have discussed this, and there was just one simple response from Charise, 'They'll get use to it.'
Tina has always admired her friend's confidence and how she was able to work so hard and get her PhD last spring. She has used her friend as a role model for her own life and has tried to work as hard as she can. Now thinking about it, Tina knows that this seems to be one last hurdle for her friend, creating loving happiness. Tina knows they will both do all they can to pull her father back from the abyss so that he can be happy too. Charise will become a member of this community soon anyway as she takes up a local job position, and Tina hopes with her father, she can complete her next big step.
"We're here. Wow look at the house," Tina says as she perks up as she sees hundreds of colorful lights decorating the house.
"You're Dad is home already," Charise says as she slowly pulls in to the snow covered driveway, "That is pretty."
"Yeah he's off until the new year," Tina says, "Maybe that's a good sign he isn't out."
"Why?" Charise asks.
"Anxious to see you," Tina grins.
"Probably you hon," Charise says.
"Oh I doubt it's just me," Tina smiles.
Tina looks toward the house as Charise turns the car off and opens the door. As the two gather their bags they see Tina's seven year old brother appear from behind the house. He seems to have been playing in the snow in the backyard and doesn't notice them right away. She hasn't seen him in three months and she sees he has grown. She smiles as he still approaches without seeing them.
"Hey kiddo," Tina says as she grabs him.
"Ahh!" Tim exclaims.
"Watch where you're going," Tina laughs.
The three exchange hugs and pleasantries as they head toward the back of the house. Tim shows them a snow fort he has been building. As they round the house they hear Tim's father's muffled voice from inside an elaborate fort. As Tim hollers to him he is talking so much about how to reinforce it, that he doesn't hear them. Tina smiles at Charise, knowing her father has always been playful with them as kids.
"We'll go into the house," Tina whispers to Charise, "You go see if you can get his attention."
"Oh here we go again," Tim sighs, "She's going to get all weird isn't she?"
"Come on kid, let's go in and start some hot chocolate," Tina smiles as she pulls her brother toward the house.
"What do I do?" Charise asks quickly.
"Whatever you want," Tina grins.
"Oh man, can we close the window shades when we go inside," Tim says as his voice trails off toward the house.
Charise watches the two go into the house then she looks over at the mound of snow with a familiar voice inside on an unending lesson on structure reinforcement. She smiles thinking about what Tina had told her one time. She has always raved about his parenting abilities and that he is the type of dad that gets right on the floor and plays too. She walks a little closer but still doesn't see him.
"Ah Thomas," She says without a response.
Just as she starts to move even closer, the roof of the fort collapses as she hears a loud grunt from inside. After this happens there is no movement. Charise looks at the snow nervously and runs forward. Starting to call his name loudly, she digs in the snow looking for him. Without gloves her fingers start to feel the effects of the sub zero temperatures. Frantically she digs harder.
"Thomas!" Charise exclaims as she uncovers his hand.
"Oh um hello Charise," Thomas says as she brushes snow off of himself.
As she helps him up from the ruined fort, he looks at her in his so familiar gaze. She knows how he feels about her. But Charise also knows that for some reason he cannot make his move. They have been talking for so long that she believes she would accept any move at all at this point, just as long as there is some advancement, if it is even to happen at all. At no time during her eight year road to her doctorate had she ever had this kind of challenge.
"Are you ok," Charise asks, as he stands and she continues to brush snow off of him.
"Um, maybe that fort wasn't such a good idea," Thomas smiles weakly.
"Do you think?" Charise giggles.
"I um," Thomas stutters, "It's um good to see you."
"Good to see you too," Charise smiles enthusiastically.
As they hug for a moment and she lets go of him, she looks into his eyes, with his the hat on his head still covered with snow and smiles deeply. She sees the nervous expression on his face as he looks back at her smiling weakly. It seems as if they are about to finally have the romantic moment that is long overdue. As she looks over his face nearly a foot taller than him, he seems to almost lean forward to kiss her, but then stops.
"I um, maybe we should go inside," Thomas says as the moment completely deflates.
"Ok," Charise smiles with a patient look as she walks with him to the side door.
Charise frowns but maintains her patience. She has a lot of it and will likely need more in the coming days. In all their conversations they have had, it has come close a few times. The last time she was here they had stayed up nearly all night watching an old monster B movie from the 1950's. They had a lot of fun with it, even wrestling for a moment on the couch, acting out one of the scenes. She remembers that then too it seemed as if he would kiss her, but he still backed off. She knows after what happened with Tina's mother he is damaged in a way, but it seems that everyone around him knows he should move on. If only he would see that, or if he is just not interested, just tell her so.
"Hey Tim," Thomas says as they enter the house, "Let's not build a fort like that until we think it through a little first."
"The castle has collapsed. Alas, it is in ruins, King Timmy," Charise adds.
"Oh go change Dad," Tina says as she takes his jacket.
"Can I help you," Charise asks as she pulls on his gloves.
"Um change you mean?" Thomas says apparently without thinking, then looks at her embarrassingly, "I mean, well I'll go change."
"Dad hot chocolicious when you get back," Tim smiles from the table.
"Maybe if you actually offered," Tina smiles at Charise after her dad leaves the room.
"Oh stop," Charise says.
"Offered what?" Tim asks, "You know how to make snow forts?"
"Ah no buddy," Charise smiles as she takes some hot chocolate.
Tina looks over at her friend sipping her hot chocolate. To her, she seems to be deep in thought and she doesn't need to ask what it is that is occupying her mind. As she has told her before, she should just not wait any longer and make her intentions known. As Tina thinks about this, something occurs to her that she had never thought of before.
"You're not sure are you?" Tina asks as she sets her cup down.
"I don't know," Charise whispers.
"Tim if you are finished maybe Dad wants you to go take a shower and warm up," Tina says.
"Ok, yeah because the weird talk is coming. I get it," Tim says as he heads for the stairs.
"You're right hon," Charise says as she watches Tim climb the stairs.
