'You're staring at my ass, aren't you?' said Ann, as she scooted the aforementioned attribute onto the passenger seat of my car.
'Whatever do you mean?' I asked this question knowing, of course, exactly what she meant.
She gave me a perfunctory, after-work kiss. 'I mean that you look at it the way most people view at a sunset.'
'I can take or leave sunsets, but I love an ass with a view' I explained. Her ass, tonight, was wearing the lime capris within which it looked more mesmerizing than a hundred sunsets: in my humble opinion.
'I can take or leave my ass,' she shrugged. 'I don't see what's so special about it. Even when I stand totally nude in front of a three-way mirror, all I see are six boring buttocks.'
A punctual erection challenged my ready-to-drive-the-car posture. 'That's why it's my job, and not yours, to appreciate this ass we speak of. Furthermore, I defy you to find anything in our vehicle more deserving of my obsessive fascinations.'
She smiled. 'Always the logical one, aren't you? I guess I'm just blasΓ©.'
I patted her hand and attempted to put things in perspective. 'You're not blasΓ©.
You're just ass blasΓ©. And not even consistently. For example, you weren't blasΓ© about your ass last Saturday night, when I was squeezing and caressing and patting and fondling it...and, if I recall correctly, you emphatically urged me to keep doing all the above.' I recalled correctly, all right.
'Did I? I don't remember.'
'It certainly looked like you, anyway.' I put the car in gear.
'Fine. So I'm un-ass-blasΓ© on weekends. I'll collect my prize at the door. But this is Monday, and we need to get groceries more than we need to talk about my ass.'
'Speak for yourself. But I concede that we do need some groceries.' I always try to meet her halfway in these situations.
We pulled out of the parking lot of Ann's workplace. I had picked her up here almost every weeknight for years, and I'd learned that the post-work decompress was not the time to catch her in a sexy frame of mind. She was tired, preoccupied...and unnervingly practical. She was hot stuff from 5:00 Friday till midnight on Sunday; but it was as if all her sexual mechanisms shut down during the work week -- as if the hormones went into hibernation and the libido went out of town on business.
As we drove the two miles to the supermarket that evening, I realized I desperately wanted to seduce Ann on a weeknight. We'd been together for three years, sleeping in the same bed every night and rocking each other's socks on weekends.
Now I was intent on coaxing the socks-rocking side of her personality out of its dormancy on a Monday night. Everyone needs a hobby.
In the weeks that followed, we observed our accustomed rhythm -- hectic activity and quasi-platonic companionship during the week, capped by abandoned sexual indulgence on weekends. I relished the weekends as much as ever, but my desire to carry our lust across the weekday threshold was becoming increasingly strong by lingering unfulfilled. Nor had I neglected the task of trying to fulfil it. Every Monday, I hinted, I caressed, I teased...but her response always extended to affectionate appreciation, and no further.
Spring turned to summer. When we got home with the groceries one Monday night in late June, we were both drenched with what the meteorologists quaintly call relative humidity. I made a gambit.
'Whew! I don't know about you, but I'm ready to put on some fresh clothes,' I prompted. Ann concurred.
'Since you have to change anyway, how about wearing the blue skirt?' Though I tried to sound casual, the significance of this suggestion was clear to us both. She owned several blue skirts, and she knew precisely which one I meant. My favorite. The mini. Iridescent peacock blue. Always, by household custom, worn without panties.
She spoke tenderly but decisively. 'Anthony, I absolutely have got to work on that presentation this evening. I'll be up and down from computer to printer to fax for the next three or four hours. Do you really want to see my pussy every time I sit, stand up, and bend down?'
Hmph. She wouldn't have asked a question like that on a Friday. 'Of course I do.'
She shrugged.
'You know,' I teased, 'you're not only ass-blasΓ©, I think you're also p --'