Angel Slut

I did not want to leave Jesse's bed. I loved being held and the warmth of our bodies. I knew my life was now changed forever. This was my first day in Boston and I couldn't believe I was in bed with a man I just met. I couldn't believe we had fucked on the kitchen floor of my apartment. I couldn't believe I actually had dinner with a man who seemed to see into my soul and knew me. Things like this happen in romance novels and in movies, but they don't happen in real life and they definitely don't happen to me-- and my mind was spinning trying to comprehend what was happening.

"Thinking again," Jesse said, lifting his head from my shoulder and smiling into my eyes.

I nodded looking into his blue eyes, noticing how they twinkled and the lines next to his eyes as he smiled. I didn't know what to say. I was still stunned by my being here and all that was happening.

"Be here," he said.

I nodded again, smiling back at him, trying to stop my mind.

"I don't believe what is happening to me. I don't believe all this is happening on my first day away from home."

He nodded, listening but didn't say anything. He just looked at me with his tender smile. I sighed, taking a deep breath, letting it out slowly. I glanced over at the table, the soup bowls pushed to one side remembering how he fucked me there. My eyes moved around the small room at the books, the green chair, the small kitchen, the loaf of bread on the counter, half sliced. I looked back at Jesse, still looking down at me, smiling.

He lowered his face and kissed me lightly. I returned the kiss. We were still silent.

"Do you believe in destiny?" I asked, breaking the silence, remembering a few of the romance novels I read.

"I don't know," he responded. "All I know is that life is mysterious." He paused. "I would like to believe in destiny and fate, but I also think everything is random, haphazard. Things just happen and there is no rational explanation."

I listened as he spoke, enjoying his thinking.

"We humans think we have to understand everything so we make up stories to explain what can't be explained. Do you know what I mean?"

"I think so," I responded, nodding.

"That's why I said stop thinking. You're trying to figure out what's happening instead of just being in the present and just enjoying."

"You're right" I nodded. "But it's hard not to think and try to make sense of everything."

"True, but when you realize that life just happens and you have little or no control, you just accept what comes your way and embrace it. That's my philosophy." He leaned down and kissed me again, lightly. "Whether our meeting like we did today was destiny or just luck, I don't know. The only thing that matters is that it happened and here we are." He kissed me again. "So let's enjoy and go hour by hour and see what happens."

"I've never met anyone like you," I said.

"You never will, either," he answered. "You will never meet anyone like me," he said. 'I know that sounds like I'm tooting my own horn—which I am, but you will see."

"What will I see?" I asked.

"I am not going to tell you what you will see, but you will know what I mean in good time."

I felt confused by his words but just listened, fascinated by the mystery he was creating.

Suddenly, he rolled off of me and sat on the side of the bed. He took my hand, looking back at me-- my head on the soft pillows.

I looked up at him, wondering what he was going to say as he looked into my eyes. He took a deep breath.

"Molly, I am almost thirty years older than you. You are young and I am happy that we have met but I don't want to get in your way or complicate your life."

"What are you saying?" I asked. "Is this a one-night stand?" I asked feeling anger rising.

"I hope not," he said.

"What do you mean you don't want to complicate my life or get in my way?"

"You've been in Boston for one day. You have to experience being free to explore what it's like to be away from home and on your own. Meet other men—younger men closer to your age."

"Are you brushing me aside?' I asked, feeling my heart pounding.

'No," he answered, taking my hand. "I'm not brushing you off. If anything I want to bring you closer by letting you go."

"Letting me go?" I blurted out. "I don't get it," I said, after a moment of being stunned by his words.

"Life has more imagination than the mind," he said, rubbing the back of my hand has he held it with his other hand.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I asked, confused and still feeing I was being rejected.

"It means you have to live and see where life takes you," he said, calmly. "Let the path unfold and take it one step at a time."

"I'm doing that. I left my town where I was a prisoner and came to Boston and I met you on my first day. I still can't believe it and now you are telling me you think I should meet other men. Why?"

He nodded, his blue eyes looking into mine, seeing how upset and confused I was.

"Why would you want me to meet other men unless you are not happy with me and this is your way of brushing me off, taking advantage of me and then saying you're letting me go for my own good. It feels like you are pushing me away."

"I understand you feel I am brushing you off, but I'm not," he said. "I can see what a good hearted, wonderful person you are. I would be a fool to brush you off, but you need freedom. You have been in a prison all of your life. It's time for you to feel free, meet other men, fuck them, go places, get a job, experience the world." He paused.

Tears swelled up in my eyes, my throat ached as I tried not to cry. I heard his words but at that moment, he was all I wanted to experience. I was trembling and did not want to leave the bed and at the same time I wanted to run away. I was angry that he did not want to possess me, that he didn't think enough of me to keep me his, that he wanted me to be with other men. Why? Why was he doing this to me?

"Don't be upset, Molly?" he said, looking into my eyes. "Believe me, this is for the best."

Suddenly, I sat up then pushed myself out of bed, quickly found my skirt, my bra, my blouse. I held back my tears and then my words burst out before I could stop them, "I HATE YOU!"

I quickly got dressed, picked up my shoes and bolted for the door. I turned to him. "I HATE YOU!" .

I ran down the hall and up the stairs to my apartment. I was sobbing. It was early in the morning and no one was up. I opened my door and slammed it shut, half hoping he would have followed me, try to stop me but he didn't. I wanted him to keep me. I was shaking and somehow wanted to make him want me. I would show him. I would hurt him like he was hurting me. I was determined.

Later, after taking a shower, I decided to get dressed and go to the coffee shop up the street, get a paper and start job hunting. I needed a job and I wanted him to know I didn't need him. I would snub him, show him how much I hated him for hurting me. "I'll show him," I said as I got dressed in my tight jeans and tiny tank top. I combed and fluffed out my hair and liked how sexy I looked.

When I walked outside, Jesse was coming out of the alley carrying two trash cans to the curb. I saw his eyes looking up and down my body, obviously liking what he saw but he didn't make a move to come towards me. I turned away, barely looking at him and walked in the opposite direction towards the coffee shop. I knew he was looking at me and I liked that, I wanted him to know what he was losing, but I was not going to give him an inch. I was determined not to let him hurt me again. I would make him want me and then not give in to him. No way would I let myself be vulnerable again. I wanted him to see me with other men, wondering if I was fucking them, making him jealous and know he lost me by brushing me off. I wanted to hurt him. How could he want me to fuck other men and not be his? I was furious.

I walked into a café up the street called The Coffee Club. It was nicely furnished with small wooden tables, some of them round and larger. There were some couches and soft chairs with magazines. The café was crowded with business men on cell phones, college students, women dressed in smart suits, others in skirts and blouses, many in jeans or slacks. Some people had computers and others listened to their I-pods. It was busy but quiet at the same time, except for the jazzy music playing. Several men looked up as I walked by their tables towards the counter. Obviously my tight jeans and skimpy tank top were catching eyes and I liked that.

I went up to the counter and looked up at the big back board on the wall that listed all kinds of coffees-- espresso, cappuccino, lattes and on and on —things I had heard of but never had. I didn't know what to order when the girl behind the counter asked, 'What can I get you?"

I looked up at the board then back at her, noticing the small gold stud in her nose and at least six tiny earrings in a row on her ear. She smiled at me while I thought.

'So many choices," I said.

"Yeah, there are," she answered.

"Just a regular coffee," I said, still too upset with Jesse to think.

"To go or for here," she asked, looking at me with a slight smile. I think she too was looking me over.

"For here," I responded.

"Cool," she answered. "A mug is a dollar—twenty five but you can have a refill for another quarter."

"Just the mug," I answered, looking around for an empty table.

When I turned, I saw a man looking at me and our eyes met. I quickly turned away but knew he was checking me out. He was probably my age and had short blond hair. I wanted to turn and look at him again but didn't. I liked that he was looking at me but didn't want to show any interest I knew I had to walk past his table to get to the empty one I saw near the rear of the café.

While I waited for my coffee, I went over to the rack with newspapers and picked up the Globe and got back to the counter just as my coffee was coming.

"That's two twenty-five with the paper," she said.

I gave her a five dollar bill and when she handed me the change, she said, "Don't look now, but that blond haired guy over there hasn't taken his eyes off of you."

"Oh," I said, acting surprised.

"I know him," she said. "Be careful."

"Thanks,' I said, picking up my mug of coffee and tucked the paper under my arm.

When I walked past his table, I resisted glancing at him.

"Hi," he said, smiling at me.

I glanced at him, "Hi," I smiled and continued on to my table. I could feel his eyes looking at me as I walked away. I lay the newspaper flat on the table, glancing at the headline while I tore open a sugar packet, shaking it into my mug.

I looked up and saw the blond haired guy standing in front of my table. He smiled and without asking sat down opposite me.

"Hope I'm not disturbing you," he said. 'I'm Michael."

"No," I answered. "I'm just surprised," I added, noticing his hazel eyes and how muscular he was in the black t-shirt he wore. He obviously worked out.

"And you are?" he asked, pausing.

'I'm Molly."

"You're new around here. I come here everyday and the same people come in—so you must be new."

"I am. I just moved here yesterday," I said, glancing at my newspaper. "Now I have to see about getting a job."

"Good luck. It's not such a hot job market these days," he said. "I just got laid off two days ago."

'Too bad, What were you doing?"

"Stock Market---I worked for First National Trust, but they're laying off people left and right. Twenty of us got the shaft this week so no more suit and ties for me."

"You look so young to work in the stock market."

I've got a Masters in Finance from Harvard and I'm older than I look--just turned thirty."

"Wow," I nodded. "A Masters from Harvard and now you are out of work."

'"That's right. How about you?"

"I just came here from a small town in Maine and now have a small apartment just down the street."

"Nice," he said, smiling at me.

"Why did you move to Boston from Maine?"he asked, probing my eyes.

Suddenly, I saw my chance to make Jesse jealous and was thinking maybe I can get Michael to come to my apartment. I had never flirted before but the way he was looking at me, I thought it would be fun to tease him. I don't know where I got the nerve but thought why not see what happens so I put my plan into action. I took a deep breath.

"I moved to Boston because my town was so boring. No guys there that I'd be interested in. I wanted action and I know you know what I mean," I said, leaning forward.

"Yes, I know what you mean," he said, nodding, smiling slightly, glancing at my tits barely contained by my tank top then looked into my eyes.

I picked up my coffee and took a sip, looking at him over the rim. My eyes looked into his and he looked into mine and suddenly the sexual tension between us was there. I was determined to get him to my apartment and make sure that Jesse saw us. I wanted to hurt Jesse the way he hurt me. I would use Michael. I couldn't believe how I was thinking but I knew what I wanted to do.

I glanced over at the girl behind the counter and remembered her telling me to be careful with Michael.

"Hey Michael, how come the girl at the counter said, I should be careful around you?"

"Oh Jenny," he said, glancing towards her then back at me. "We had a fling," he said.

"A fling, huh. So should I be careful?" I asked and moved my leg under the table and touched his leg.

'Yes," he said with a sly smile. "You should be careful."

"Why?' I asked and lifted my leg and pressed my foot between his leg and against his cock like I did with Jesse. I could not believe I was doing this to a man I just met. I was becoming someone else, someone I didn't recognize but it felt good. I wanted to be bad. I wanted him to think I was a slut. I wanted to seduce Michael, lure him back to my apartment but I wouldn't let him fuck me. I just wanted to use Michael to get back at Jesse.

Michael moved forward, pushing his cock against my bare foot, grinding against it and his hardness was turning me on. I knew it was dangerous to take a man I just met back to my apartment, teasing him and then not letting him get me in bed. Even the danger was exciting me and I wondered if I was being crazy. What was happening to me/? Why was I doing this?"

My foot on his cock was getting me wet. I was turned on but I thought I'd be able to control things once we got back to the apartment.

'Let's go back to my place," I said, taking my foot away and leaning across the table, my tits practically spilling out of my tank top.

I finished my coffee and stood up. He stood up and our eyes met. I could see his hard on bulging in his jeans and smiled at him as I squeezed by him, grazing my ass against it. Fortunately we were at a table towards the back of the café and no one noticed what was going on. When he followed me, I knew his eyes were on my ass straining the tight jeans. I wiggled my hips slightly just to add to the game I was playing.

Walking towards my apartment, I wondered where all this would lead. Would I be able to control the situation? Would Jesse see us?

I hooked my arm around Michael's elbow as we walked, our hips touching. It was definitely hot. As we got closer to my apartment, I wondered if Jesse would see us, but I was also thinking about how to handle Michael and not let things get out of hand. My mind was swirling a mile a minute and at the same time, it felt good to feel Michael's body next to mine. I had no idea where I was heading, but thought of Jesse's words, "You need to fuck other men before you give yourself to me. You will know what I mean." At that moment I only knew how angry I was for brushing me off with those words. He was playing with my mind and I would teach him a lesson. How could he do this to me?

When we walked up the steps to the entrance of my apartment house, I looked down at the basement window which was just above the sidewalk. I knew that was Jesse's apartment. I wondered where he was. When we entered the building and walked up the stairs to the second floor to my apartment, Michael was behind me and I knew he was looking at my ass.

"Like what you see," I said, turning and teasing him.

"I do, very much," he said.

When we got to the top of the stairs, I saw Jesse on a ladder at the other end of the hall. He was changing a light bulb and he saw me. We were in front of my apartment and our eyes met. While I was unlocking my door, Michael pressed himself against my ass and started grinding into me. My eyes were still on Jesse's eyes and then he smiled at me, nodding as if he didn't care that I was with another man and looked away. His smile made me hate him even more. He didn't care. It was then I knew I would let Michael fuck the hell out of me and shove that bastard Jesse out of my mind. I suddenly was hornier than ever.

When we were inside I slammed the door shut and grabbed Michael, wrapping my arms around him and pulled him into me. He pushed me against the door and kissed me hard. I got my hands on his ass, liking how tight his jeans felt and pulled him so that his hard cock was grinding into my already wet pussy. I was angry and I was going to take my anger out on Michael and fuck him like I was a demon.

My legs were spread wide apart, straining my tight jeans, my pussy open to him as we humped each other, both of us horny. He had no idea my rage was making me desperate to be fucked so that I could scream and let out my fury. He had no idea I was using his body and I didn't care about anything except getting fucked and showing Jesse he was out of my life.

Take me!" I yelled, pulling my mouth away from his. "Fuck me!"

"You're a hot little bitch, aren't you?" he said, his mouth an inch from mine.

"Yeah, and I want your cock. Don't tease me. Just do it! Do it!"

He backed away from me and got down on his knees, unbuttoned my jeans, pulled down the zipper and tried desperately to pull my jeans over my hips. I took over and squirmed out my jeans, flipped off my shoes. He got the jeans off my feet leaving me with only my thin thong covering my shaved wet pussy. He then pressed his mouth against my wet thong and started licking me through it which only made me crazier. The barrier of that material pressing into my pussy by his invading tongue was excruciating. I was leaning against the door, my back arched, my legs spread apart, thrusting my pussy against his mouth. He was attacking my pussy with his fierce tongue. I pulled his hair forcing his mouth and tongue harder on my cunt and shouted, "Eat me! Eat me! Eat me!"

He grabbed my ass, squeezing and kneading my cheeks, pulling me harder against his tongue and suddenly ripped my thong off of me and started moving his tongue up and down my slit with such ferocious power, I thought I would explode any minute.

"Oh Fuck! I'm cummmming!" I shouted as his tongue licked my pussy, his nose pressed against my clit. I was writhing against the door, my orgasm rising through me like a freight train when he suddenly stopped just as I was about to cum all over his mouth.

"Don't stop! Don't stop! Don't stop you bastard!" I yelled as he roughly turned me around, grabbing my arms then pulled me roughly across the room and slammed me against the wall, raising my arms above my head, stretching me and started grinding his hard cock against my ass. He still had his jeans on and quickly unzipped them.

'I got me a screamer," he whispered in my ear. "Not a good idea to be next to the door," he said as he moved his cock up and down my pussy. "Unless you want your neighbors to know what a slut you are."

I immediately thought about Jesse hearing us as he worked down the hall but didn't have time to think as Michael reached around and grabbed my tits roughly in his hands and moved his cock up and down the crack of my ass. He bit my shoulder and his hands crushed my tits, his palms rubbing my hard nipples causing my pussy to tingle with intense need. I wanted to cum bad. As if he read my mind, one hand reached down and grasped my pussy mound, squeezing it hard, driving me insane with my need for more. I wanted his cock so bad as I pushed my pussy harder against his hand.