"Hello, Lola. Please call me 'Doctor Ben' or just 'Ben.' I hate being referred to by my last name because it soFreunds so stuffy and formal when working intimately with a patient. I'm a Doctor of Osteopathy, and my aim is to help you and your own body to heal.
"While I do this primarily through skeletal manipulation and muscle massage, I take into consideration other influences in your life such as your past experiences, marriage, children, home, work, and sense of well-being. These 'external' factors impact your body and health. As one of my patients said, I'm kind of a strange mix between a medical doctor...a massage therapist...a psychoanalyst...and a chiropractor - heaven forbid to that one...hahaha!"
Lola had to smile at this amiable professional who for some strange reason made her relax. Compared to her five-nine Japanese figure, Ben was a rather short and pudgy Chinese guy, but in a way that made him a disarmingly personable and non-threatening. Yet, as he continued to talk about himself and his profession, Lola realized that Dr. Ben had another side to him - one that emanated strength and confidence; a man used to getting his way; and this made her "tingle," for lack of a better term, with trepidation and in anticipation.
She had been referred by her primary care physician, Dr. Yamamoto, for a second opinion on a mysterious lower back pain that plagued her intermittently for over six months. Lola had been x-rayed, undergone an MRI, and been subjected to a battery of tests, and all proved inconclusive. Although her doctor was extremely conservative, he decided to make a referral to Dr. Ben whom he had met at a convention and had been consulting with concerning her case as her medical options were slowly eliminated.
"Lola," she remembered Dr. Yamamoto saying to her at the end of their last appointment, "I'm referring you to a colleague of mine who is an osteopath for a fresh perspective and diagnosis of your problem. Short of prescribing pain pills, I do not know what I can do with your case. Dr. Ben, as he prefers to be called, will consider things that a medical doctor such as myself would not. He is open to different therapeutic techniques that I would never use. It's your call, but I strongly recommend that you at least consult with him."
And so, Lola found herself in Dr. Ben's examining room for an initial consultation. It was in the late afternoon and the office staff had left for the day, but this was to be expected since Dr. Yamamoto had mentioned that Dr. Ben could see her as an after-hours appointment as a favor to him. She was told that Dr. Ben was willing to help her with her mysterious ailment. While grateful, Lola was nervous and if it hadn't been for the sharp pain episodes in her lower back, she might have left.
"So, Lola, I've read Dr. Yamamoto's very thorough report, looked at your lab results, and scanned the x-rays and MRI results. They indicate that nothing is wrong with you; however, we know that's not true. If your body says it is in pain, then it is in pain. So why don't we start from the beginning and you tell me what's wrong with you."
Lola began recounting what she had been told by so many physicians almost by rote when Dr. Ben stopped her. "Wait, Lola, what you're telling me, I already know. Let's go back to the very first time you experienced the sharp pain in your lower back...I think you stated that it started six months ago. Do you remember what you were doing at that first time you encountered your back pain?"
When Lola hesitated to say what was on the tip of her tongue, Dr. Ben said rather understandingly, "Look, Lola, if I'm to be of any help to you and to stand any chance of alleviating the pain that you feel, you've got to confide in me. Don't hold anything back no matter how small or odd or embarrassing. Don't worry - I won't judge you no matter what you say."
Lola hung her head so that Dr. Ben couldn't see her blush of embarrassment. Finally, in a shaky and soft voice, she mumbled, "My husband, Larry, is a brute of a man. He's six-foot-one, about two-hundred-fifty pounds, and barreled-shaped. A 'bear' would be a good way to describe him physically and personality-wise. He is crude, demanding and used to get his way. I don't know what attracted me to him while I was...attending night school...but he was persistent in his pursuit of me and I guess I finally gave into him. Since then, Larry has dominated me and my life.
"Well, to make a long story short, the first time felt this pain was when we were making love - no, that's not right - he was having sex with me. Our kids were camping with the YMCA, and he was horny and I wasn't. I remember being wrestled into submission before he 'took' me, No that's not right either. Oh, this sounds so terrible but - my bastard of a husband 'sexually assaulted' me. He pushed back my legs, doubling me over, and kept ramming into me - forcefully and brutally raping me! After he was finished, I was in agony and was barely able to move."
Lola wasn't even aware that she was crying until she found herself pressed against Ben's lab coat that was drenched by her tears. She was held and soothed until her sobbing subsided. "Oh, I'm so sorry," she murmured apologetically, "I didn't mean to..."
"That's alright. My lab coat will dry; just like you will heal if you trust me. Have you and your husband had any other 'painful sessions' since?" When Lola nodded slightly, Ben asked softly, "Do you have an idea as to how often this has occurred? Are they all painful?"
A renewed round of sobbing ensued and when Lola was able to compose herself, she weakly replied, "This is so embarrassing, but while pretending that everything is okay, I've tried to avoid having sex with Larry. Sometimes he'll let me...just jerk him off...or go down on him especially if he can come in my mouth. But sometimes I can't avoid him - especially late at night when the kids are asleep or early in the morning when the urge comes on him to find some form of instant sexual relief.
"I don't know how many times I have had painful sex since that first painful session, but things are getting worse. Larry gets angry if I show any hint of hesitation and becomes even more abusive, verbally and physically. Ooh, this is so embarrassing but sometimes I try to have him do me 'doggy-style' so at least I can pull away if it gets too painful. But I'm not always able to do so and as I've said before, sex with Larry is always fast, rough, and painful."
Handing Lola a box of Kleenex, Ben gave her a light reassuring hug before saying, "So there's a good likelihood that your 'pain' may not be purely physical. Hmmm, fear and stress can manifest themselves into physical symptoms. Talking about having intercourse with your husband and how it impacts you is a good start. Definitely. I know it's traumatic to you, but shedding light on your hidden demons is essential to exorcising them. Trust me.
"Before we go any further, how does your time look? It is almost early evening, and while I don't have any commitments, I don't know about you. I would like to do a preliminary examination, but if you have to get back to your family, we can schedule another appointment. What's that? Your boys are with your husband for a night out for pizza because you had a last-minute doctor's referral. You want to push on? Good.
