There was a palpable sense of relief when the final bell rang at the end of another school term. The children are hasty, chairs scraping on the tiled floor so that my well wishes for the coming summer break are well and truly drowned out. It's a cacophony of noise as they excitedly leave my room, loudly talking over one another about plans for the break until the noise dwindles into the distance and I am finally left alone with my thoughts and the motes of dust in the afternoon light.
I lean back and push my glasses up to rest on my increasingly creased forehead, battle scars from a tiring and draining career. My hands drag over cheeks and into my short blonde hair, and I close eyes as my body finally relaxes. All I want to do is to curl up and sleep for the summer, perhaps see if James wants to go away somewhere. Of course he won't want to - he was always far too busy with work. But he's paid well, and because of the hours he sinks in we can both live comfortably in a very nice house, and I can teach what I am passionate about without having to worry about bills.
Or at least it was something I had been passionate about. Passion wasn't really something I dealt with in my life anymore.
My eyes shoot open when a knock comes at my already open door. I turn my head to see my friend Claire peeking around it with a large smile on her face. She's about ten years younger than me, with long dark hair that comes down past her shoulders, a pleasant hourglass figure I was quite envious of, and a smile that was as genuine as you could ever hope to see. She keeps me young.
"You coming to the bar with us?" she asks.
"God no. All I want to do is sleep."
Claire rolls her eyes at me and steps into my room, heels clicking on the tiles as she approaches my desk and takes a seat on the corner of the marked wood.
"Come on Jess. You have six weeks to sleep. And you haven't been out with us in months. You don't even have to stay out late - just a few drinks."
I bite my lower lip and consider. It's more tempting than I'd admit to Claire, and I know there's nothing waiting for me at home as James is away on business abroad. I cluck my tongue at that - it's nice that he gets to go away and see places, but when I suggest we do something he is just as likely to tell me he's been there as he is to tell me he's too busy.
"I have nothing to wear." I say, my voice feeble so it is clear that I know it's a pathetic argument. Even Claire knows that.
"You think I'm getting changed? I just want to drink until I can't remember this last term, who gives a fuck what we're wearing? Come on Jess, you look fine." Claire said, already walking back to the door and giving me little choice but to agree. And besides it might be fun I tell myself as I pack up my bags for the year, return them to my car and await a taxi with Claire and Rachel in the staff room.
"So where are we going?" I ask them. Rachel turns to me, vape resting casually between her fingers as she blows a cloud of vanilla smelling smoke between us. Rachel is the Spanish teacher, and the youngest of the three of us having just qualified as a teacher last year. Her hair is short and purple, and her clothing sits just on the right line of appropriate for a teacher. I've certainly heard plenty from the lads in my class about what they think of Ms. Valentine.
"Thought we'd try one of the college bars" she says coolly, perhaps not overly enamored with a woman almost twice her age coming on a night out and cramping her style. If anything it made me more determined to go out, to show this young woman that I could still have fun, even if the idea of going to a college bar sounds ghastly.
"Fine by me" I tell her, holding her gaze, and I catch the sight of Claire grinning beside me.
"Excellent. Shots are on you then when we get there then."
Thankfully shots aren't on the menu at the restaurant we decide to go to first - it's early yet, and I know I'm certainly not young anymore to drink from the moment I step outside of the school. It's also an excuse to relax with a few glasses of wine with friends, to unbutton the top of my white blouse so I'm showing a little more skin off, and enjoy the year being finally done.
When we leave the restaurant the sun is starting to go down and Rachel leads us into a taxi that drives us down a few roads to a tired looking bar called Ramseys. Immediately I think both the music is too loud and that I'm far too overdressed in my white blouse, blue skirt and light blue shoes. The bouncers let us in and I watch as their eyes linger on both Claire and Rachel, but barely give me a second glance.
I feel like mutton dressed as lamb, even more so when I step into a bar with people still in college. Eyes glance at us all but everyone is friendly enough, going about their own conversations while we head to the bar. As promised I get shots of tequila for us all, along with a glass of our selected poison for the evening. Glasses are clinked together, and the liquor goes down like fire, making me wince and gag slightly - I have never enjoyed shots - as we move away from the bar and towards a little corner of the establishment to people watch.
Before the hour is out my extremities feel numb and my words are beginning to slur slightly. Both Rachel and Claire have bought rounds, and so it is my turn to buy once more. I move with an unsteady gait to the bar and lean against it, holding up a battered note in my hand in an effort to get the attention of the bar staff.
"Mrs. Joseph?"
I turn to look for the voice that called my name out so formally beside me and see radiant green eyes smiling down at me, set in a handsome face. It's a face I recognise, though I don't do so immediately. Instead I squint up at him with a furrowed brow of concentration.
"Jason Yardley?" I say tentatively, and I'm rewarded with a boisterous laugh that assures me that this is indeed the young man whom I taught before, though he's not so young anymore. Far from it.
Jason was a student of mine four... five... years ago now. He was one of those you always remembered - friendly, funny, good at sports - especially rugby because of his tall physique - and popular with almost everyone. I'd guess he must be at university - perhaps even finished. I can still remember that smile that he's now showing me. He'd grown taller, and his broad shoulders from school had remained, though he'd now grown large arms to go with them. His hair was different too - at school it had been a little shaggy, but now it was well kept and slicked to the side.
"I can't believe you remembered me!" he says earnestly, his strong hand on my shoulder. Was he always this handsome? I wonder as I look up into his emerald eyes that twinkle slightly from the lights in the bar.
"Of course I do Jason" I respond before I'm finally served at the bar. Slightly befuddled from the distraction that my former student has given me, I hastily order the round and then turn back to him.
"You're legal, right?"
Jason laughs and then nods. "Just a bottle of beer if you're offering."
I add it to my order and then hand him the bottle when it arrives. He then sees the multiple glasses before me and, being the generous man he is, offers to help carry some over to my friends. For the briefest moment I feel a pang of jealousy that I will have to share his company with Claire and Rachel until I remember I'm married and he's much, much too young to be interested in someone like me.
Rachel immediately bats her lashes at him as he hands over their drinks but, to my surprise, he shifts his body to face me after he has introduced himself to the two of them, his face still lit up with that same happy smile he wore throughout the time I taught him.
"So, are you still teaching kids the rude parts from Shakespeare?"
I splutter my drink and cough back a laugh, remembering a time when I had been excited to teach all the kids that came through my doors. Now, much like the rest of my life, I'm going through the motions and doing the bare minimum required. I'm still over twenty years away from retirement and already I've lost my love for my job. "Sometimes" I lie to him with a smile and take a sip of my drink.
