Part one
Was it really a week since they had slept together? The week had passed in a whirl of lies, guilt, excitement, hurt and indecision. A roller coaster of emotions! Already they both felt like it all was a bit surreal, like it had happened to someone else.
Mostly there had been a lot of hiding in quiet places to share short messages. Followed by an endless wait for a reply that never, ever came back fast enough. The sender always feeling sad that they could not say exactly what they wanted to. The danger being someone else might read the message. It was so frustrating having to be cryptic, endlessly pouring over the words, before taking a deep breath and finally sending it. What they really wanted to be able to do was replay their night together, how it had seemed to them, and their feelings about each other. Always nagging at them was the desire to protect their guilt, by constantly feeling the need to tell the other person that this was all a shock. That they never suspected they would end up in bed together.
For David it had been a roller coaster of a week. At times he had felt depressed, guilty and fearful. Other moments had been full of excitement and possibilities. There had been a pang of fear each time his wife called his name, more so on the one occasion she accused him of being distracted. There was little chance of discovery but it still made him fret about it.
It was obvious that David was distant but he had denied it anyway. He had managed to make a joke about it at the time, and the conversation had quickly moved on, but her words had still stung him. He began to think he needed to be more careful. There was definitely risk when he and Charlotte shared messages, but he had no wish to stop. He also felt like his behaviour betrayed him, but he couldn't seem to control that. The world seemed so different now. It all added to his sense of helplessness. His mind was full of Charlotte or processing what had happened. More often he found himself debating what he should do next. His mind whirling in endless circles of indecision about what he wanted and how he should proceed.
When they had left the hotel it had been Charlotte who had said that she thought they should stop. David had protested, feelings of hurt and despair welling up inside him as soon as he heard her speak those words. It had been left very unclear. Partly because Charlotte did not want to hurt David and partly due to the fact that he had immediately become quiet and sullen. This had made discussion difficult. Charlotte also did not know what she wanted. It had been a surprise to her how much her own morale had plummeted, when she had said they should stop. Charlotte did not know it, but her feelings of despair were very similar to David's. It was crazy, but she couldn't imagine not making love to him again.
When they left the hotel Charlotte had no other choice than to accept a lift home with him. It was how she had arrived and how she was expected to return. That was a relief for her, no need to debate the wisdom of accepting this offer and anyway the idea of being along with him for a couple of hours in the car felt great. She even said so. He casually asked if anyone was at home on the trip and Charlotte had said there wasn't, before hastily moving the conversation on. Once or twice in quiet moments in the car she debated about asking him in. Was she ready for him to see inside her house? Not to mention the obvious risk of being alone with him.
"Would you like to come inside?" She asked the moment the car had pulled up outside her house. Charlotte had not made a conscious decision, she just asked him the question.
"Is that ok?" He asked, failing to hide his excitement and Charlotte said it was, sharing the same thrill.
Inside the house David felt awkward, he prowled around, moving from room to room as she made tea. David was really not sure where he was supposed to go or what he should do. Mostly there were pictures of her children everywhere, but mainly his eyes dwelt on a photograph of Charlotte and her husband. It haunted him and his gaze returned frequently to it. They were all dressed up, probably for a wedding and he felt a sense of desire. She looked gorgeous. Also though there was jealously. It was stupid, but he hated seeing such obvious proof of her being happy with her husband.
"That was at my sister's wedding," Charlotte announced as she arrived in the lounge with tea. David felt wounded by how casually she had said it. He felt threatened by the fact that she had a separate life without him." He told himself he was being utterly ridiculous, but the feeling stayed. Wishing to hide his emotion he sat down heavily on the sofa. "Are you ok?" She asked, sensing his discomfort but not relating it to her words. She was obviously keeping her distance, leaning on the mantle piece where the picture was. This was making him nervous. David watched as Charlotte took a deep breath and then with him already knowing what was coming she spoke. "Perhaps," she said. "Perhaps we should stop." And then she paused before adding. "Before anyone gets hurt."
David smiled grimly, the hurt and pain was there for her to see. Similar feelings welled up inside Charlotte. They both immediately realised it was too late for that, but perhaps they deserved to suffer, where as their loves ones didn't.
"I don't know what to do," He said desperately.
"Me neither," said Charlotte, his look and tone melting her heart. She came slowly over and sat down beside him.
"I want you," David said and Charlotte replied that she knew. Again her comment, although not designed to pain him, wounded David. She knew immediately he wanted her to say in reply that she wanted him. Wanting him was not in debate and now all she wished was to make him feel better. She moved her head forward towards his and she gently rubbed noses with him.
"I know," she whispered again. This time, just as she intended the same words made him feel better. Their heads continued to gently rub together, their faces taking on the same look of desire that they had shared the night before. David opened his mouth wide and accepting the invitation Charlotte kissed him. In her mind a voice said this was not supposed to be happening again, but she pushed the thought away.
Their kisses were nervous and gentle at first, but gradually they became more confident and finally with heads slightly inclined their mouths met properly. David's hand came up and touched Charlotte's head, he marvelled at how soft and silky her hair felt. Their mouths stayed locked together until David finally pulled away, sighing heavily.
"Your husband will be home soon with the children," he said. It was not a question but a statement, but he desperately hoped she would tell him he was wrong. That it was okay, they had time, but Charlotte nodded and said that her family would indeed be back soon. They looked at each other, the fact that they would need to part soon hitting them both very hard.
"We should stop," said Charlotte and she shook her head, but despite her protests her kiss was as enthusiastic and passionate as before. David's hand immediately came up and pushed her head into his. They continued for a while and then suddenly they both froze. A car had pulled up outside and David leapt away from Charlotte, standing immediately up. Without speaking he made for the front door and fled too quickly for it to be natural thought a concerned Charlotte. He was out the door before her husband was out of the car, no more than a nod of courtesy as he passed him. Happily her husband did not notice anything strange. To hide her face and any sign of distress Charlotte immersed herself in getting the children out of the car.
Part two
David let himself into the same hotel room where they had met before and was immediately surprised to hear the sound of running water. He called out hello and was immediately relieved to hear Charlotte's voice reply. He was early. Much too excited to wait any longer David had left the office at five sharp and headed to the hotel. His intention had been to make things nice for her arrival and to be there to greet her. David had found that a very exciting idea. Relieved he had not stumbled into the wrong room, he carried on into the lounge and dumped the ice bucket, champagne bottle and glasses onto the side.