Alistaire at Usc: Oops

Thank you for the initial positive response from Alistaire's old fans. Comments are how I get paid for what is, after all, a lot of work, so please keep it up with the middle chapters. I love seeing how your perceptions of the story develop as things proceed, and your projections for how it will go, right and wrong.

For those of you who have not read my stories before, I strive for the plausibly ridiculous. I hope that the events of my stories make perfect sense, as long as you assume that these particular oddballs all came together to interact in the circumstances they do.

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The One Where Things Don't Go To Plan

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Walking away from my brand-new girlfriend's dorm and toward my own, I felt like I needed to talk about Liz to someone who would be... I found myself texting Bridget.

ME

: Yo! So, I have a girlfriend

It took less than fifteen seconds for a reply.

BRIDGET

: Exsqueeze me?

ME

: Who knew, right? But here I am. She is named Liz. You'd like her. She has been my running buddy since day two out here

BRIDGET

: So the girl you run with is now your girlfriend

ME

: Seems that way!

BRIDGET

: I'm glad for you

BRIDGET

: But I have to go. I'm texting in class and am about to get busted

I pocketed my phone. One of the great things about having all the women in my life in a text group together was that I knew I could count on Bridget to let them all know what was happening without me having to do it individually.

This was handy because I was dimly aware that I probably should not spend my first day of being a boyfriend, texting with all the women I've fucked in the past.

Right?

I mean, I was yet again in

terra incognita

. Being a boyfriend would take some care while I figured it out.

I was a little surprised that over the next several days only about half of The Sisterhood texted me at all, about Liz or anything else. I guessed that college and geography really were putting distance between us already. That kind of sucked, I thought.

Even Bridget did not text me again until the new episode of a show on MAX dropped five days later. We were following it together, and we both wanted to bitch about the stupid writers fucking absolutely everything up with that one episode.

Dave was of course, incredulous. But he literally patted me on the head (almost standing on tiptoe to do so). As time went on, he was honest enough to become congratulatory (he met and saw Liz regularly and knew I had much to be congratulated about), but he never backed off from the loud opinion that I was the poster child for beginner's dumb luck, and I'd never be able to make it last.

I had played D&D with my new group exactly once before Liz and I became an item. When I showed up for our second session together with tales of a first girlfriend, I was relieved to see that their conflict over whether to nickname me Rook or Noob was settled by discarding both.

I was less enthused once they settled upon the unanimous replacement: Puppy Love. But that faded after a month, Rook and Noob were back as often as not.

Sigh.

It had been a while since I had been a freshman.

*

I was sad to see that the practice of everybody leaving their doors open full-time did not hold on much after Orientation Week ended and classes began. My initial burst of coming out of my shell and meeting people had stalled in the face of my natural shyness and everyone having shit to do. But I wanted to keep pushing myself to meet people.

Yes, I know that I can sometimes be anything but shy with hot girls, but I needed to learn to use that assertiveness to come out of my shell with dudes, and with girls who did not trigger my baser, more awesome instincts. I had been jealous my whole life of how both my parents effortlessly met and worked with new people. And I could also see how it has helped make both of them the successes that they are.

But while all those closed doors reduced noise from the halls, the walls in our building were not terribly thick. The sound of Gina and Tish's occasional full and frank discussions about all sorts of topics came through said walls to Dave and me, sometimes quite loudly.

"For Christ's fucking sake!" came to my ears easily through the wall right beside my bed where I sat, studying. I think this time it was Gina's voice. I looked over at Dave, who was typing on his laptop. He looked back at me with a pained expression.

"Man, I hope they learn to get along pretty soon, or it is going to be disastrous," he said darkly.

"Disastrous?" I replied skeptically. "I mean, I feel for Gina, you know? But what are you talking about? I can certainly handle a little noise now and then. They don't actually fight all the time."

"Don't you get it?" Dave said back morosely. "We are almost a month into school, and the final deadline to change dorm assignments is coming up fast. One of them might move out any day now. I don't know about you, but I sure as hell do not want to lose the opportunity to look at either of them on a regular basis!"

I was quietly certain that Dave still harbored designs on both our neighbors, but whatever. Not that he had any hope at all.

"Look, I agree with you on the scenery factor, but I for one could handle seeing the backside of Tish for the last time," I said, pausing only slightly to wonder if maybe that would actually be a crying shame. That backside was pretty stunning, and her yoga pants game was quite strong...

"Yeah? And if Gina is the one who moves out?" Dave shot back.

I just stared at him, appalled.

*

Liz and I enjoyed wandering around on Halloween and going to several parties, even if we had been unable to settle on a good couple's costume idea and just did our own things. I knew I owned a better suit than most guys at school, so I just bought a white silk tie and went as a vampire.

Liz went as a zombie nurse, with lots of very cool makeup effects. While her outfit was in no way slutty enough to suit the tastes of lots of guys around campus, there were plenty of other girls who made up for it with the costumes they were almost wearing. Liz still looked great, and I was okay with her lack of skin, if only because I knew I was going to get to take that minimally slutty costume off her later and see all of her skin. When I eventually did, I discovered that she had done the makeup over a lot more of her body than anyone else got to see, all just for me!

Fucking naked zombie nurses is awesome, guys, even if Liz got a little too into the character and actually bit me once.

The next day, I called my Mom to make arrangements for Thanksgiving.

"Hello, Alistaire darling," her happy voice came over the phone. "How did you enjoy your first college Halloween?" When I reassured her that I was still recovering, she went on happily. "I always loved Halloween, back when I was in college. I always pushed the envelope with my costumes, too. One year, I..."

"Mom, I need to set up my flights home and back for Thanksgiving," I interrupted desperately before my mother could appall me with tales of the slutty, no, probably full-on slatternly, police officer or vestal virgin outfits she had put together back in the day. Mom 2.0, who had been introduced at the same time as the equally unwelcome Dad 2.0 immediately after they figured out I was no longer a virgin, would have gleefully tortured me with those tales had I not derailed her.

"As it happens," my mother replied, for once letting herself be sidetracked easily, "I was going to call you myself here shortly. I have just set up a meeting in San Diego on the Monday before Thanksgiving. Your father is going to fly out Tuesday to join me, and we would rather you drive down and stay with us on the beach at the Hotel Del Coronado for Thanksgiving."

"That sounds way cool," I said enthusiastically. "I haven't been to San Diego yet."

"It's a lot prettier than Los Angeles," Mom said drily. "Speaking of pretty, I am sure Liz will be going home to her parents. But if she is not, you should definitely bring your little girlfriend along so we can get a look at her."

"I think Los Angeles is gorgeous, thank you," I retorted, loyally defending my new home. I carefully did not reply to the Liz suggestion, as the last thing I needed in my life was four days of my dad 'getting a look at' Liz.

And, just as Mom suspected, Liz had just made her plans for flying back to Colorado a few days earlier, so the point was moot and I was safe.

*

I really don't gain weight easily, but I made a valiant effort over that Thanksgiving. I came back to USC well-fed and ready for the finish of my first college semester.

I was sitting in my dorm room the first afternoon back when Liz walked in without advance warning. I popped up with a smile. "Hey, babe! You are a sight for sore eyes," I said, moving to give her a kiss. We had texted a little on Thanksgiving Day itself but otherwise left each other alone with busy family schedules, and I guessed I had missed her.

Liz flowed fully into my kiss, wrapping her arms around me hungrily and pressing herself against me. She turned my brief peck on the lips into a heated tongue-fest.

"Purple Post-It," she said, breaking off the kiss for a moment.

"Now?" I asked, surprised.

"Right now," she said, then proceeded to make it hard for me to signal Dave to stay the fuck away by resuming our kiss.

I guessed she had really missed me!

I had to hide behind the door as I opened it a little to slap the note on the outside because Liz already had my dick out and was stroking it. When I let the door close, she spun me so my back was against it and she was on her knees, my cock in her mouth before it had even gotten fully hard.

She fixed that shit in the minimum number of heartbeats necessary to fully inflate me.

Liz always liked to take her time with sucking cock. She definitely wasn't one of those girls who liked to often demonstrate that they could overwhelm me in nothing flat. But while she took her time, she knew how to finish up ferociously. Today, however, she went into finishing mode immediately, and, well, she finished me in no time. I groaned a warning before nutting in her mouth and she sucked hard on me, devouring my offering.

When she finally finished sucking and swallowing, she lifted her face toward mine, still jacking my cock as if afraid it might start to soften. After a couple of months together, she should have known better...

"I can't wait to taste you," I growled, pulling her to her feet. I made myself resist the temptation of setting her on the edge of Dave's bed even though it was closer.

"No," Liz almost yelped. "I'm going to fuck you. Now!" With that, she pushed me over to my bed and down onto my back. I realized that she had worn a skirt that day, which was unusual. When she straddled me, I realized that she also had not worn panties. The next thing I knew, I felt her naked pussy sliding down to engulf my cock. She moaned almost painfully at my entry.

"Wow," I chortled. "Miss me that much, huh?"

She just almost grimaced at me wordlessly and started to fuck me with near desperation before she even had her shirt pulled off. She had worn one of my favorites among her bras, a pretty little lace number in an enchanting sky blue that highlighted her eyes. I enjoyed the sight of it for almost five whole seconds before I was undoing the front clasp. We each knew the other very well by this point, and Liz went straight to her favorite way of riding me. It was not actually my favorite angle, but I figured we'd get there soon enough.

"Grab my tits," she grunted, riding me hard already. "You know what to do."

I certainly did, and reached up to hold and enjoy her lithe scoops. I knew just how she liked her nipples teased and put that knowledge to good use. Her own hands came up and clutched at mine, as if to hold them in place on her breasts as she rode me.

It didn't take long for her to come the first time. A soft yelp, then a much louder cry announced her body's release. But she didn't stop or shift position. She barely even slowed. Powering through her body's scenic release, Liz just shifted her angle surely, with the ease of experience, right into my favorite angle of attack when she was on top and resumed fucking me. I let go of her breasts, grabbed her hips, and drove up into her.

I didn't take long either, and with a powerful grunt, began to spurt up into her delicious depths. She came yet again in response, wailing stupidly loud for being in a dorm room in the middle of the day, her orgasm so hard it almost sounded like despair.

"God! This is so. Fucking. Good!" Liz shrieked, coming down from her orgasm at last. She stared down at me with that fey smile she always, always has after I've made her come especially hard.

But then she collapsed atop me, burying her face in the crook of my neck. I felt her tremble and she suddenly slammed her fist down into the pillow beside my head. Not taking her face from my shoulder, she started quietly talking. "Why can't it be good enough? It's

so

good..."

I honestly wasn't sure who she was talking to, me or herself.

"But it isn't good enough on its own," she sighed.

What?

Liz pushed herself up to look down on me, my cock still fully buried inside her. It was softening, of course, after such a major eruption, but the softening process can take a while when it is still buried in a pussy like Liz's. Her face was... sad? Apologetic? Angry? And there were tears in her eyes.

Tears?

I had never before made Liz come so hard she cried. Charlotte sometimes cried a little after I put in a really good effort. When I had really outdone myself, Carla's eyes had leaked a bit, too, back in the day. And whenever I managed to make Bridget cry, I always felt like I needed to take a bow. But post-fucking misty eyes were not in Liz's set of reactions.

"I can't... we can't just keep... I've got to break up with you, Alistaire," Liz went on, suddenly now in a rush.

"What?" I yelped involuntarily.

"No matter how good this is, we just don't work as a couple," she said, the tears welling harder now. "You are sweet and considerate and a great lover," she said miserably, "and that is not even taking into account... This. Magnificent. Rod," she added, clenching herself around my cock. It was a helluva clench, and despite the horror of what I was hearing, my cock tried to rally in response.

"But Alistaire, we just have nothing in common!" she went on, now sounding like she was trying to convince me of something she was just barely convinced of herself. "D&D? Come on! Could you be more lame? And all the baseball? It is

six months

until there is baseball again, and half the texts you sent me over Thanksgiving break were about a Braves trade rumor!"

Hey! It was a blockbuster trade! I was still very excited about the whole prospect.

Moreover, I wanted to remind her that it wasn't half a year until the best sport resumed. Pitchers and catchers reported in two and a half months, but I felt that saying that just might be reinforcing her point. So I said nothing, because when a girl is emotionally upset, I shut up and listen. It had never failed me. So even now, when I in no way wanted to hear any of this, I stayed mum.

"We don't have any classes in common. We don't even study together," Liz went on. I couldn't say whether she was convincing me of anything, but she sounded like she was convincing herself further.

"And... and... your taste in music sucks, Alistaire!" she added, as if delivering a devastating closing argument.

"What?!?" I yelped at last. The D&D comment hurt, but the truth sometimes does, right? D&D is not the Sport of the Cool Crowd. And I knew Liz was lukewarm on baseball. I had just figured I'd bring her around eventually. But her unkind, untrue, and frankly ludicrous final shot woke me from the horrified daze I had been in. I realized that not only was I still buried in Liz to the hilt, my hands were still cradling that sweet, pert little ass. I loosened my grip, but my digits, dimly aware that this might be their last time holding this fabulous edifice, were loathe to let go of her butt fully. "

My

taste in music sucks? How would you even know my taste in music, Liz? All I'm ever allowed to listen to around you is Taylor Fucking Swift!"

That I took a shot back seemed to shock her, and the blasphemy about La Swift put some fire in her eyes. "Do you see why it has to be over?" Liz shouted quietly at me. Her words were at first slightly undermined by how hard she was clamping down on my cock, but then she fully backed them up by springing off me. She stood there beside my bed, gloriously half-naked, and stamped her foot. "I cannot continue to waste my freshman year of college on you when all I'm getting out of it is fantastic sex!" she almost screamed the last two words, despite still trying to keep it down.

We glared at each other for a moment before the ridiculous nature of what she had just said made us both giggle involuntarily. Her anger fled, though mine kept simmering. "I'm sorry Alistaire. But I've been thinking like this for a while now, and I spent Thanksgiving working myself up to do this."

She began slipping hastily into her clothes, what little of them she had ever removed, and I will admit I took the opportunity to get one last good look at her body while she did. I am, as I have said, a bit of a sex pig.

"You chose a helluva breakup method," I snapped. "I honestly think it made this whole thing worse."

She paused, looking at me uncertainly. "I... I had to try it one more time, to convince myself that it just wasn't worth it. You almost just convinced me it was."

I flopped back onto my back and hid my eyes with my forearm. I'd seen enough of Liz's body. "You are cruel, Liz," I grumped. I also secretly began to think that maybe she was right about our suitability as boyfriend and girlfriend.

"I... I'm sorry," was all she said, and quietly let herself out of my room.

It also occurred to me that the whole relationship, boyfriend/girlfriend thing had been her idea in the first place. This recovered memory did nothing for my mood.

But mostly, I had been dumped. I found that this sucked. If this was how relationships ended, I had been right to avoid them in the past. I was certainly going to be very careful before getting into any in the future. I had had a very nice life going before this, and I fretted that I might just have a hard time getting back to it.

I dressed enough to go to the shower, and then once I had rid myself of Liz's horrifyingly awesome residuals, I got dressed for real.

I needed to get out of my room.

I went out into the hall, slamming my door.

As I moved toward the stairs, I saw that Gina and Tish's door was uncharacteristically open. Almost automatically, I looked in. I could see Gina staring back at me, a weird expression on her face.

"That was... impressive," she said with a twisted grin.

Tish then poked her head into view. "Really, Taylor? In the middle of the day? Some of us are trying to study here, and you were getting laid at the top of

her

lungs."

I wanted to glare at Tish and do what I normally did when Tish got snotty, make some inappropriate comment in reply.

Instead, I slumped against the door frame. "We broke up," I said heavily. The hell of it was, I was upset at being dumped, but I was having a hard time being upset at the fact of being broken up. This was going to take some thinking.

"That was a pretty enthusiastic-sounding breakup," Gina snorted, amused but also non-plussed.

"As exit interviews went, it wasn't the worst," I admitted sheepishly.