Alistaire at Usc: Neighbors

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The One With The Neighbor

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I finally let slip to my monstrous regiment of women that Liz and I were in the past tense. Charlotte and I were texting about a new board game she had bought. She was enthusiastic and encouraged me to buy a copy for myself.

ME

: I dunno. I don't really have a board game group out here. Just the regular D&D crowd

CHARLOTTE

: Lame! Between you and Liz, you can find two more people.

ME

: Liz hates gaming, and your suggestion is moot anyway. We broke up

There was a pause.

CHARLOTTE

: Wow, dude! Ouch. I'm so sorry. It hurt like hell when Juan and I broke up and we were together like a month. Losing a semester-long relationship sounds awful.

CHARLOTTE

: Why didn't you let us all know?

ME

: Still not feeling great about myself

CHARLOTTE

: All I can say is, you should. Suck it up and move on. I'm sure you and Liz parting was for the best.

ME

: We agree on that. But I think I will stay away from any more girlfriends for a good long time

CHARLOTTE

: Sound plan. But I can still tell you are hurting, and that bums me out. I wish we weren't 5,000 kilometers apart, so I could suck your dick until you feel better.

Alas, I would have to settle for the image of that, rather than a reality. It was still a fucking nice image...

But as I had known that it would, letting one of them know meant they all knew.

How it came to pass that Bridget and Carrie were the ones chosen/told off to investigate/comfort me, I have no idea. Those women's inner dynamics are a serious mystery.

BRIDGET

: Hey, man. We heard. You feeling okay?

ME

: I will.

CARRIE

: Did you pull the trigger, or did she?

ME

: She did.

CARRIE

: SMH

BRIDGET

: Was she mean? If she was, we might have to play the White Knight card ourselves

ME

: She was, but she definitely wasn't. I mean, we had some incredible sex, and I was still inside her when she burst into tears and started saying that even sex that good wasn't worth an otherwise pointless relationship

That earned a pause.

CARRIE

: I'm not sure I believe him. I am not sure it is biologically possible for a female to want anything other than more of that

BRIDGET

: Yeah. What did you do, Alistaire?

ME

: Nothing! That's the problem. I was a shitty boyfriend. I realize now that I was just into it to try on a relationship for size, not because I wanted Liz

ME

: I kinda suck

BRIDGET

: You don't suck. That really would be impossible. But I see your point. Sounds like you made a mistake, that's all

Me

: Okay, guys. Get your I Told You Sos out of your system

BRIDGET

: Neither of us told you anything about Liz. And none of the rest of The Sisterhood did either. At least they better not have

ME

: You all thought it though, didn't you?

This comment was pointedly not answered.

CARRIE

: Regardless, the solution to your mood is obvious. Go be you. You must have other female friends. Go look at them like you do, and someone closer than 3,000 miles will want to orally raise your spirits tout suite.

ME

: Ummm

CARRIE

: Shit. He's already nailed somebody else.

BRIDGET

: Why were we worried at all?

The conversation went downhill after that, but my mood went up just as fast.

*

Monday, in the hall near my dorm room, I paused and took a deep breath. I knocked briskly on the door next to my own.

"Come in!" I heard through the door.

Smirking at myself for even hesitating before knocking, I pushed the door open and leaned in. "Everybody decent?" I asked in a tone that clearly recognized the lameness of the joke.

"Taylor," Tish growled sourly. "If I said, 'no', I'll bet you'd have come through that door even faster!"

Not all super-hot girls are bitches. I certainly know a vast number of contrary examples. But Tish seemed hell-bent on confirming the stereotype.

"Oh, stand down, Tish," Gina snapped, leaning into view from the other side of their room. "Alistaire is a perfect gentleman, and you know it. What can I do you for, Alistaire?" she asked, trying to lighten her voice.

It was clear that the two of them had been fighting again before I had knocked.

"Well, heh, I'm actually here to see Tish," I said almost sheepishly, and certainly regretfully. "I've got an extra hard copy of Usher's study guide for you, with my annotations from class today," I said turning and stiffly handing over the copy of the notes. Professor Usher taught the Poli Sci class Tish and I were both in. He posted his study guide for the final exam online, but the annotations he gave out in class were supposedly the secret to the guide being useful.

Tish had been sort of unable to make class that morning and had asked me to get her a copy of his annotations. I had agreed.

I had agreed to help her out because...

"Thank you," Tish answered just as stiffly as I had spoken. "Were you able to read my corrections on your practice test?"

"Your handwriting is gorgeous and you know it," I grumbled, thanking her with all the enthusiasm she had used for her own polite gratitude.

With two classes in common, Tish and I had found over the course of the semester that, even as we came to like each other even less, we had to rely on each other more. Both professors were among the worst imaginable about attendance. Neither took it. You could cut to your heart's content. But neither allowed remote attendance or recording of their lectures. From their lectures to their study guides, if you were not present in class, you were going to miss important shit.

The two of us had fallen into this weird dynamic of each doing our level best to help the other in those two classes the best we could, because if either of us did any less, then the other would have a score.

We did not study together, perish the thought. That would have been a cross-country interstate too far. But we did help each other out, to the point where it had become almost proactive on both our parts, just to make sure the other didn't have anything to complain about.

"Well, having you in here with a legitimate cover for staring at my tits is better than your horndog roommate Dave coming in a rummaging through my underwear drawer," Tish said nastily.

"What?" I asked.

"Dave touched some mail on your desk... one time, Tish," Gina snapped. "Give the guy a break." She rolled her eyes upward toward the ceiling as I looked her way. Then she smiled at me and shrugged. "The boy is horny though," she admitted, begrudging Tish any agreement.

"Horny? He's more than that," Tish humphed. "Did you even notice, Taylor, that your roommate had two different girls in your room at different odd times in the middle of this week?"

"Really?" I said, surprised. "Who?" I asked. The question was somewhat inappropriate, but I was caught off guard. I remembered neither purple Post-Its nor any texts from Dave, warning me off from the room.

Oh.

The question wasn't inappropriate, it was stupid.

"We didn't see them. We heard them," Tish snapped, and Gina again shrugged in reluctant agreement.

"Maybe those two were in there with me," I said, mildly offended at their assumption, but mostly amused. This was going to piss Tish off!

"Really?" asked Gina.

"Ha!" Tish laughed. "We got more familiar than we wanted to be with your blonde kewpie doll's noises. These were different women. And besides, we know... Liz, wasn't it?... dumped you anyway."

"Don't be mean, Tish," Gina scolded. "The wound is probably still a little raw." She seemed actually mad on my behalf. I appreciated it, but it annoyed me a little anyway.

I did not need assistance to deal with Tish.

"Just because you are this pretty does not mean you have to be this stupid too, Tish," I snapped. "I know many girls as hot as you who all manage to be awesome human beings at the same time. Look into it."

Tish hated it when I insulted her for being as hot as she was. I liked doing it because it always left her momentarily speechless. Moments that I could fill by piling on. "I'm pretty sure, in fact, that Dave hasn't even been in here to stare at your undeservedly good tits, or for any other reason, lately because he has a girlfriend he is besotted by. And since her roommate dropped out, his girlfriend has a single. They have all their sex over there. Does it hurt you to know that any noises you heard came with me in the room, not him?"

At that point, I unfortunately ran out of nasty things to say to Tish, letting her recover enough to reply. "So you were in there, huh?" She snarled.

"Tish," Gina growled in warning.

"Don't you know it's polite to watch your porn over your earbuds, so your neighbors don't have to hear it?" Tish almost shouted, overriding Gina.

"Porn?" I replied outraged.

"

That's it!!!

" Gina said, popping out of her seat and shoving me toward the door. "Alistaire, I'm sorry my roommate took an overdose of colossal bitch pills today. I think I'll get you out of here before you spank her or something."

There someone went about me spanking some girl again. If I hadn't had any interest in spanking Jenn's buddy Chelsea Cavendish back in high school, I sure as hell was not going to spank Tish. Chelsea would have deserved it more. A lot more. Tish was just a pain in my ass. Chelsea had been fucking mean.

The idea of some recreational spanking, of someone who deserved it in a good way, wandered back into my brain for a second, but I dismissed it yet again. The opportunity had presented itself a couple of times, but I'd just never felt it.

I let myself be ejected from the room, and Gina followed me out, still pushing. "Can we talk in your room?" she hissed, clearly no happier with me than with Tish.

Swell.

Dave was thankfully absent from our room. Gina closed the door and turned to stare at me, arms akimbo.

I was by this point in no mood to listen to Gina either. Not after she had shoved me out of her room. I don't like being pushed around by women... except playfully, by women who let me play with them back.

"Quit being mean to Tish that way," Gina said simply.

"Me?

I'm

the one being mean to

Tish

?" I yelped.

"Yes, you are, and really, really stupidly," Gina snapped back. "Look Alistaire, she deserves it. Lord knows she deserves it. But yelling at a girl about how hot she is is not the behavioral deterrent you seem to stupidly think it is."

"What?" I asked. I know 'what' is not an SAT word, but it does seem to be 90% of my vocabulary in some conversations. "I mean, it sure shuts her up."

Gina sighed. "It does. But once you finally bail, leaving me with her, she tends to be insufferable, usually as insufferable as she ever gets."

"Oh fuck. She thinks I'm coming on to her?"

"She's not that stupid. Nor would she in any way want you to. But she does get flattered by it," Gina said. "And she gets insufferable about that."

"What?"

"She gets smug whenever you walk in and tell her her boobs are great. I think she acts extra bitchy to you so you will do it. Especially since you don't come in to stare at mine."

"I stare at your boobs too!" I said, hotly defending myself.

Have I mentioned that I can be an idiot sometimes?

I considered moving to Mongolia. Immediately. As in, before she could reply.

Too late.

"Okay, I am fully aware that you stare at my boobs too. Tish usually ignores that because she is irritatedly basking in the way you compliment hers! When you aren't complimenting her ass!" Gina replied tartly, but with a hint of a smile as well.

Okay. So immediate death was off the table. That was always nice in a conversation.

"Well... shit," I groused. "Now I have to come up with a new schtick."

"Loudly banging multiple chicks next door to us was an effective start," Gina laughed.

I may have blushed at that. "Look, I'm sorry about that. I'll try to get my instincts about discretion back on tra..."

"Shut up, Alistaire," Gina said almost friendlily. "First, Tish and I are right, aren't we? It was two different girls?"

Fuck.

"I mean, that isn't quite what it looks like," I started to babble. "Everyone..."

"I assume that since you only broke up with Liz like eight minutes ago," Gina went on, ignoring my excuses, "you are not in a relationship with either of these vocal individuals?"

"Vocal what? They are both good friends," I protested.

"So everybody is a free agent?" Gina asked.

"Of course! They..."

"Good," she interrupted again. Then she took a deep breath. "Alistaire, I really like Tish. She really likes me."

"Could have fooled me... could have fooled everybody," I snorted.

"It is just our dynamic. She is actually a lot of fun, and we rely on each other for so much shit you would not believe," Gina said seriously. "But while I cannot imagine a better roommate, she does get on my fucking nerves, just like I get on hers. But this week, she has been putting on a masterclass on nerve getting. I was about to flip my shit when you walked in and diverted her."

"You're welcome?" I asked uncertainly.

She snorted. "Not hardly. Had you just left me in there after your act, Tish would have added preening to the rest of her BS."

"And you say she is your friend?" I asked skeptically.

"She is. She just needs taking down a peg every so often and we are fine. I need taking down a peg too, sometimes. She is the one in need at the moment. Well... she's the one in need of taking down." She paused again, taking another deep breath. "And... if you are up for it," she went on, a seriously hesitant edge in her voice, "I can think of no better way for us to take her down about eight pegs than to just fuck each other's brains out, right now, right here, while she is next door and will have to listen."

Well now.

To be clear, I like Gina. A lot. She is very cool. And I had evaluated her as much more than merely doable from that first day when Dave told me to go check out our neighbors.

But this was a bit out of the blue, drat it.

"Um... I'm not sure this is the best way for you two to work things out, is it?" I said. Seeing her face, I hastened to add. "Hey! I am more than intrigued with the idea. A lot more. I like the cut of your jib and wish to subscribe to your newsletter. But leaping into things..."

"Alistaire, listen. This is not an idea that only just now sprang into my head," Gina said. "And I am not looking to replace Liz. At all. But you are, admittedly somewhat weirdly, good-looking. And you sure as hell know how to look at a girl in a way that makes her feel good about herself. But for most of the time I've known you, you were off the market."

She took a step toward me. "I'm not sure that Tish really believed that those girls were in here with Dave or not. I was sure they were in here with you. I certainly was imagining myself being in here with you when we were listening."

This was...

"The fight with Tish is not the reason I'm saying all this. It is the much-needed push that I need, and the approach I am seizing on to give me the guts. I am not really being that impulsive here. But I am hoping you will be," she finished, looking at me with an incredibly appealing mixture of come-on and uncertainty.

I can be impulsive, I thought. Especially with a very hot buddy who suddenly wants to become the very best kind of buddy.

"Gina, if this is what you want, then I am willing, nay, hornily eager to see just how loud I can make you. If it pisses off Tish... well pissing her off would only be a minor side benefit," I said in a serious tone of voice while letting myself give her as lusty a look as I could manage. I believe that I can manage quite a lot in that regard.

"Oh, I've already decided to be loud," Gina said, swishing toward me and wrapping her arms around the base of my back.

I grinned and pulled her hard against me.

I had barely begun to do a good job smearing the light pink lipstick Gina always wore when she pulled away enough to murmur, "That is a pretty nice bulge I felt pushing against me, dude! I want to see it," she smirked.

Well, she asked.

I tucked up the tails of my shirt and unzipped. "Well, if you want to see it, you can," I said, trying to sound uncertain. "But not sure what you are going to want to do with it."

Gina smirked at my words, but the look froze on her face as my still not fully developed erection popped free. I let my shorts drop to the floor and kicked them aside.

"That is not a 'nice bulge'," Gina said sternly. "That thing... I feel like I need a turban, a basket, and some kind of cartoon musical pipe to charm that thing safely!"

"It's really well-behaved," I said with puppy-dog eagerness. "It'll do whatever you ask, no basket required."

"Okay," Gina said, half to herself. "I wanted to fuck you before I saw that thing. I can't believe it, but I still want to." She looked at me a little bemused. "Damn, I bet that creature is going to feel amazing," she added, with growing enthusiasm.

"I hope it will," I said, pulling off my shirt. "But right now, I'm the only naked person around here, and that sucks for me. Want to help me out, or do I take care of fixing the situation myself?" I asked blandly.

Gina snorted. "You are usually such a chill dude when you aren't torturing Tish. Do you always get this confident when you are naked?"

"Honestly? Yeah," I admitted a little sheepishly. Then I added with a slight leer, "I've been told I should be." Gina snorted and shook her head with a smile, all while never letting her eyes off my now fully enthused cock. "Now, as to my need to see you equally naked," I went back to my original question. "How are we going to handle that?"

We handled it together and at a fairly rocket pace.

"God damn," I said, standing back and looking at Gina's naked body where we stood, checking each other out. "I should definitely start just coming into your room and saying how fucking hot you are. I'll ignore Tish."

"That might make her even worse," Gina said wryly. "How about we figure that out later, and fuck now?"

Gina was about 5' 6" and of some kind of Mediterranean ancestry, with medium olive skin, dark eyes, brown hair, and breasts that were both larger and more delicate than they seemed when she was dressed. Her nipples were almost chocolate brown, and seemed to be practically demanding to be sucked on, thoroughly, and before any fucking commenced. That was a demand that was going to be met, I decided. Oh, and she had an obvious commitment to eradicating all hair below her scalp...

"In my experience," I started slowly.

"Which is extensive lately," Gina interrupted gaily. For some meanings of the word 'lately', I thought.

"In my experience," I repeated, "sex is best when we can get in a good orgasm or so each before we get to the main event, okay?"

Gina started to snort, then looked down at my business again. "Yeah. I suppose a girl wants to be good and ready for that."

"Eh," I said calmly. "The pussy eating part is mostly just for my enjoyment."

"

You're

enjoyment?"

"The important thing," I went on shamefacedly, "is that while I have lots of, um, reloadability(?) my ability to hold off on the first orgasm of the day is pretty damned weak. I want to avoid coming during sex until I can make sure you are just about fully satisfied."

"Oh, so sucking your cock is really all for my benefit then?"

I just grinned guiltily. "In the exact same way that eating your pussy is going to be all for my enjoyment."

"You have this all figured out, huh, Alistaire?"

"Honestly? I've had a lot of sex the last nine months, Gina. I'm getting there."

We stared at each other and grinned.

"In the meantime," I said, pulling her against me again, "If you will hop up on the edge of my desk, I'm going to start surveying how your pussy likes best to be eaten."