It's my epic summer. I crave the heat. Heat seems to stir up my happiness genes. I had no idea how my organized, careful world would come to such an abrupt and decisive end. You can direct and plan your life in a fashion that corresponds with your economic means and social demands or you can try to self-actualize. I had gone the safe route with occasional side trips to my secret life. I say chuck it all, why not live in the brief time you have. Revel in your oneness. Narcissism in small bites might not be a bad thing.
Why all the detail? I wanted to make sure you understood I wasn't bored and looking for some gratuitous action. I had a lot of cool things to hold my attention. Why I encouraged a visit to a part of my life I always thought of as my secret world is still something I'm pondering along with my attachment to my friend Ali.
So I started tooling around on the Internet highway on a freeway dedicated to those of the BDSM persuasion. I would chat and message interesting women who styled themselves as Submissive. I had always been comfortable as the Dominant so the D in the D/S pair. Lots of fun, great on-line conversation. Even some texting and a few phone calls. I grew more creative and suggested to a few profiled babes I had a specific scenario in mind and to please message me if interested. I could imagine the hilarity as some of the more sophisticated recipients thought "Fucking Nerd". Ultimately I met some approval and had to deliver. I offer for the readers entertainment and sympathy (please), Instructions.
Instructions
You are instructed to answer your door wearing your shortest skirt and no under pants. You can choose either a pushup bra or Bustier. You need to find the best way to provide good access to your erect nipples. High heels will be in order and a nice bright red lipstick. Your fragrance should suggest you need serious examination.
Once inside I will continue with your assessment. I need to determine what type of spanking suits you. Your level of grooming will need attention. You may have hair in places that needs to be removed or trimmed.
I will ask you to give me your tongue. After your tongue is placed in my mouth I will begin inspecting your nipples with my fingers. At first I will use gentle caressing pressure to make them stand up. When your nipples are sufficiently hard I will begin to squeeze them and as long as you murmur enjoyment and pleasure your nipples will receive my attention. Careful breast squeezing will further arouse your interest. Perhaps some careful sucking, licking, and nibbling will be well received. Your respectful encouragement is expected.
You will now have a collar fitted and a short lead attached. Naturally you will be led around to get a sense of how you walk in heels, how your hips and ass thrust up as you slowly move about.
Your pheromones will now be tasted and their fragrance examined. You will be directed to wet two of your fingers where you should now be wet and aroused. Offering yourself and asking if more is needed will go a long way to establishing further attention.
You will be directed to spread your legs so you can be inspected. A little hair for decorative purposes is ok but too much around your labia will have to go. Your hair will be trimmed with perhaps a stylish V created and the rest shaved off.
You have begun your journey and it's time for you to dress for the adventure. Do you have stockings and a sexy garter belt? Well put them on. I expect skimpy and sheer panties. Your breasts should be supported and offered. Makeup and fragrance needs to show how you want to be used and aroused.
Spanking is so critical to your excitement. You love to be spanked but how is the question? There are three basic spanking types; hand, paddle, and cane. Which one will make you lose control and submit must be discovered.
Pulling on your lead you will be positioned on your knees. Crossed slender wrists will be bound behind your back. You will be instructed to position yourself on my lap. I want to make sure you are comfortable and available. I can detect your fragrance and increased breathing. You know you want to be taken.
Instructions follow. I will grasp your hair and pull it back as you are vigorously spanked. Naturally you will be aroused by the hair pulling and spanking. You will have to count out the spanks and plead for harder or less so. 10 spanks will decide how you like your this treatment.
Now things are getting serious. After the hand spanking you will resume your kneeling position. Have you ever worn a ball gag? The sexist aspect is the drool and you need to accept that you will drool when you're gaged.
You will be instructed to open you moth and the ball gag will be inserted. Tying the ball gag in place behind your hair will set the scene. A paddle will be applied to your ass. You can ask for harder by nodding yes, begging for less by shaking no. You can continue with the way it is by just remaining still. You will be gaged and unable to speak but you can express you delight by groans, moans, squeals, and squeaks.
Perhaps hand spanking and paddling is enough to satisfy your desire for ass pain but in that unique case you may want to be caned.
If caning is your desire other arrangements will be necessary. You will have your bonds released and be led over to a short table. Your wrists will be tied to sides of the table. Next, your legs will be spread and tied to the legs of the table. You are now bent over the table and ready to receive the cane. Again you can control the severity but you must understand that you won't escape without marks.
Bent over the table, panting and waiting. I will toy your ass with the cane to let you get a feeling for what is to come. I will have to express my disappointment in having to abuse you in this fashion. The caning will start and the count will be given. You can controls the intensity but you will receive 5 strokes.
Which do you like the best? Does the hair pulling make you wet and weak? Questions that are answered during the spanking assessment determine where things will go next.
I would have paid good money for a WEB cam or to be a fly on the wall to watch and listen to the reactions. Now bear in mind I didn't post this on OK Cupid but often thought that might be fun. I sent this to ladies in the life who could at least understand and appreciate. On the whole when I received reactions they ranged from approval to contemptuous dismissal. Dangerous overblown ego resulted from the positive responses. I became selective and started wanting to edit the comments that I received. I thought to send back the edited comments with instruction on how to approach me correctly. Fortunately I realized that self aggrandization is the path to a big fall besides I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
The profiles on the Internet "Fet" (Fetish) site have stylized pictures and some sort of interesting name. I took a shine to NaturalOne and launched my fetish initiative. It took a couple of days before I received a short but thoughtful note from NaturalOne. What kind of rope did I envision and what would she have to do if her wardrobe didn't include a pushup bra? BDSM banter, kinky terminology, fetish lexicon. We tested one another with the secret handshake of the sexually liberated. NaturalOne turned out to be a wholesome lady by the name of Ali. Ali, Ali, there was something about that name that fascinated me. Ali was a mother with two young children and, as she repeatedly said, a clueless boring spouse. I had to promise solid confidentiality and respect her position at all times. Little did I know? Had my Crystal Ball not been in the shop I would have taken a short vacation, chucked it all. But I didn't. Many stories have a satisfying arc, a happy ending. Other more sordid accounts are woven with interesting tragedies and a startlingly sad ending. My tale features both which makes it all the more compelling to tell and hopefully for you to explore and process. You will root for Ali and Terry even at the end. At your peril my friend, at your peril.
I met Ali in the fall. Well it really was more like a collision. The intersections of our lives and hearts was the most breathtaking event I've ever experienced. We both pulled up to the BDSM four way stop. Neither of us could stop. We crashed into one another on the internet. An alternate life style WEB home for lonely people with a proud desire to confirm their life styles. I once had a relative tell me I needed therapy after broaching the concept of vanillaness.
Ali and I were separated by 80 miles so naturally we gravitated to an e-mail life.
As our email became more complex and nuanced we realized we needed more intimate contact. Ali had a challenging job as a special math and science teacher so her time was not always hers. We fell into two calls, one as her day began and another in the evening when she walked her dog.
Obsession wouldn't come close to describing my feelings about these calls. What did we discuss? In the end we left nothing on the table. My connection to Ali was welded by the frank, honest, and open discussions. We both had come together to explore our Dominant - Submissive roles, to define our desires, to stake out positions. Time and time again we detoured into romantic, life mating possibilities. I could see myself with this women. I could see a life together. Ali's submissive desires would just be the seasoning in our life changing stew.
Nothing survives the light of day. Especially my half formed thoughts and confusions. Nothing will be the same after our final ultimately satisfying but tragic meeting. I asked for it. I planned and plotted. Ali aided and abetted me and drove things along with curiosity and determination. Clearly I was the captain of our adventure and really the more responsible of the two of us for the way things turned out.
We had plans for a special life affirming first meeting but somehow I couldn't fully accept the new reality. I had actually brow beat Ali to send me a photo. Major infraction in the FetLife community. I had my reasons. Ali complied. My realization of Ali's purity, her beauty drove me to the depths of intense self-recrimination. How could I doubt my angel? We had poured our souls out to each other and I had demanded a JPEG tribute. Perhaps women are right about male base insensitivity. Not perhaps, we are or at least I am. Worst of all.
