After the End of the World

Squeezed together in the small closet, I could feel Eric's body pressed against mine. As my eyes adjusted to the dim light I could make out the outline of his face, his stubbled jaw. His head was turned towards the door, listening. I could feel his warm breath on my neck. He was so close, his mouth right there. If I had the nerve to just reach up...

"I don't hear anything." He said, turning to look down at me. I felt short of breath in the full force of those big brown eyes. "Are you ok?" he asked, searching my face.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I whispered back. The space was so narrow our stomachs were smooshed together. The tips of my breasts just brushed his t-shirt. I blushed, wondering if he noticed, too.

"Maybe we should stay another minute, just to be sure," He said. Let's stay forever, I thought. "Do you have any more water?" Eric whispered.

"In my backpack," I replied. "Can you reach it?"

"I think so," he said. "Here, lean forward."

I leaned forward, pressing myself against his chest. He reached his arms around my shoulders to unzip the backpack. With my cheek pressed against his neck I could smell him; soap, sweat and wood smoke. I inhaled, feeling a little dizzy. I wanted nothing more than to kiss the skin beneath my lips, so close... he shifted, reaching into my pack for the water bottle and I put my hands on his chest to steady us. His muscles tensed and flexed beneath my fingers. I imagined running my hands over his skin, touching him, exploring.

He pulled the water bottle free and I leaned back again to let him drink. When we'd both had a drink he put his hands on my hips to pull me forward so he could put the water back. I wondered if he could feel my heart pounding against his own chest.

After he had zipped me back up, Eric seemed to rest a moment, pressed against me. I heard his long intake of breath by my ear, as though he were inhaling my smell too. When he pulled back his eyes seemed sleepy, lustful. I was suddenly very aware of my own lips. They felt puffy, moist, begging to be kissed. As though he could read my mind Eric reached his hand up and brushed his thumb along my jaw. I was quivering with anticipation.

He leaned forward, slowly, giving me time to get away if I wanted but that was the last thing I wanted to do. He tilted my face up gently and brushed my lips with his own. Softly, so softly he kissed me. His full lips caressed my own and as my mouth opened I felt his tongue dart into my mouth. A soft moan escaped me and I was momentarily embarrassed until he returned it with a growl.

He pushed me firmly up against the wall and I could feel his pelvis grind against me. My chest and neck felt flushed. I found my hands pressed against his chest again and now I felt like I was free to explore him. I ran my fingers over his pecks and his ribs, down to abs.

He moved his lips from my mouth to my jaw to my neck. I gasped as he found a sensitive spot and stopped to give it a lick. I could feel his breath coming hot and fast against my skin. I worked my hands up under his t-shirt and touched the warm skin just above the waistband of his jeans.

"Wait, wait," he groaned, pulling away. "This isn't the place, they might come." He rested his forehead against my forehead, idly stroking his hands up and down my sides. I wanted nothing more than to tear his clothes off right there and get down to it but I knew he was right, we had work to do.

He opened the door slowly, to minimize the squeak. The coast was clear so we both cautiously made our way into the hallway. Eric pulled a hand-drawn map out of his back pocket and consulted it before taking off down the hallway to our left. I followed him, placing each foot with care, trying to be completely silent.

When we reached the room we were looking for Eric kept watch at the door while I got to work. On the back of the map was a list of items, some of them with diagrams if I didn't know what they looked like already. I gathered what I recognized and a few things I just thought looked useful, stuffing them into my backpack. In the drawer of a broken desk I got lucky and found a new packet of batteries: that would make Old Pete happy.

I cast a last look around at the abandoned office and then went over the Eric at the door. I touched his arm to let him know I was ready to go and he nodded at me. We crept along the hallway, back the way we had come. We were on the sixth floor of the building. It made me nervous to be so high up and inside like this. There was nowhere to run and no quick exit.

We got to the interior stairwell and started to make our way down. It was harder to be quiet here, no matter how lightly I planted my feet they made a metallic echoing sound in the stairwell. I concentrated on Eric's broad shoulders descending in front of me. His t-shirt had a damp line of perspiration down the back; I wondered if he was as nervous as I was.

We had gotten down to floor two and I was almost starting to relax, anticipating getting back outside, when we heard a noise. Eric and I froze just in time to hear the distinct sound of a deer opening and closing somewhere above us. We stayed still as statues. Eric's eyes stared into my own and he looked as scared as I felt. I tried to breathe quietly. A drop of sweat rolled down my nose and fell with a quiet "ting" on the stair.

We heard the chattering, clicking sound of their language but, as usual, we didn't know the meaning. The door opened and shut again. Eric and I stayed motionless and silent for minutes. My legs were on two different stairs when I froze and one of my calves was cramping badly. Eric moved first and I cringed as his first step made a soft ringing sound. We both listened again but there was no sound but our own breathing.

We descended the last two flights of stairs as quickly as we could without making a racket. The adrenaline coursing through me made my hands shake and I felt weak and unsteady on my feet. I breathed a little easier when we got outside under the sky. We slunk from shadow to shadow; I followed Eric's lead, letting my body relax as we got closer to the outskirts of town.

When we reached the first patch of sheltering woods, instead of slowing down to relax, I felt like I needed to run. I grabbed Eric's hand and gave him a grin. He returned it and squeezed my hand. There's nothing quite like realizing you're going to live another day.

We didn't talk much on the way back; just running, walking, crouching and skulking our way home. By the time we got back to camp, night was falling and our pace had been reduced to what could be more aptly described as plodding.

I felt sweaty and gritty all over and my muscles ached from the fear and the exercise. There is nothing better than getting your first glimpse of the warm lights of home after a long hard day. If there's one thing this whole horrible situation had taught me it's to be thankful for the little things. Things like a warm fire at night, a drink of water when you're thirsty and the companionship of other people who care about you.

As I hastened toward the light of the cook fire, Eric caught my arm and pulled me back into shadow. I looked at him questioningly, he seemed to be thinking. "Elissa," he began, looking at the ground, "about what happened today. When we were hiding..." he looked at me, waiting for me to say 'Oh don't worry about it, we were both just scared; it didn't mean anything.' I held my ground. I knew it did mean something and I was going to make him say otherwise. Eric sighed and raked a hand through his thick blond hair. He met my gaze sheepishly. "Just don't tell her OK?"

I rolled my eyes. Why were we playing games like this? The end of the fucking world, you'd think relationship drama would be the last thing to worry about. "Fine," I spat out, "let's just go eat." We trudged into camp, the long day finally at an end.

As I wolfed down a bowl of stew I tried not to watch Eric and Megan across the fire. She was hanging all over him while he tried to eat, chirping on about her day. As thought what she did would be interesting to him. She stroked his arm and flipped her curly red hair as she told a story about laundry or some shit.

Is it because she's prettier than me? I thought. People used to say I was pretty, back in the world; every now and then at least. I thought I was alright looking. I pulled my long braid of brown hair over my shoulder to inspect it. It was a little muddy (how had that happened?) and had some leaves and twigs stuck in it. Across the circle Megan's fiery curls bounced as she bent down to whisper something in Eric's ear. He smiled through a mouthful of stew and looked at her sidelong. I told myself that it was stupid to be jealous. I should be happy to be alive and proud that we'd completed a successful raid. Pete had been thrilled with what we'd brought back. I was a credit to the camp.

Finishing my stew, I decided to take a quick bath before turning in. I thought about skipping the bath; I was so tired, but I'd regret it when I had to wash my sheets as well as my body tomorrow. I picked up a lump of soap and a towel at the supplies shed and headed down the slope to the bathing/swimming hole. It really was a very convenient location for a camp. A river close at hand but the camp was on a hill so there was no danger of flooding.

I was glad there was no one down there now. It was late and almost everyone had already gone to bed. I stripped and waded into the cool dark water. The wind blew down the river and my nipples hardened. I trailed my fingertips over the water, trying to get used to it and psych myself up for the cold plunge. Finally I took a deep breath and dove underwater. The cold was shocking for only a moment.

I surfaced with a gasp and started to methodically soap my body. I was glad I had come down. It felt amazing to wash off the sweat and grime of the day. I undid my braid and started working through the tangles in my hair when I heard a noise. I froze, purely out of habit in this safe place, and realized that someone was making their way down the bank to the water. Who could still be up? I asked myself.

Of course, I realized, as Eric stepped into the moonlight, tossing his t-shirt to the ground. He noticed my pile of clothing and I gave a little wave when he looked over the water for me. Eric paused for a moment and looked back up to camp, maybe thinking of turning around. Then he kicked off his shoes and stripped down. Now, you have to keep in mind, modesty wasn't really the same thing in camp as it had been back in the world. I mean we didn't walk around naked or anything but when everyone shares a bath that is a river you are gonna see some things.

Eric dove underwater almost immediately and swam out to where I was standing, water dripping from my now clean hair that fell in a dark river over my right shoulder. "Hey Liss," Eric said, almost shyly. "Do you have any soap? I forgot to grab some." I handed him the lump in my hand. I lay back in the water, floating. I wasn't going to leave just because he was here, we were friends and I didn't see why we couldn't spend time together. If Megan didn't like that she could suck it.

I sat up and pretended not to watch Eric soaping his muscular arms in the moonlight. He reached back awkwardly to wash his shoulder blades. "Here," I said, coming up behind him. "I can do that." He hesitated a moment and then handed me the soap. I lathered up my fingers and ran them smoothly over his broad shoulders and down his back. I felt the ridges of muscle an either side of his spine and brushed my soapy fingertips over the fine patch of hair at his lower back.

When I started to knead the knots of muscle on the tops of his shoulders Eric gave a soft moan. I smiled a little vindictively. I wanted him and I was going to do what I could to get him. As I massaged his back Eric relaxed into my hands. Finally he reached behind himself to take my hand and stop me. He ducked underwater to rinse the soap off and came up facing me. The water only came to his hips and I could see that my massage had made him hard.

I looked down at his bobbing member and then up at his face. He looked apologetic. And horny. A stronger woman than I would have left him there and gone up to bed. But I didn't want him to find satisfaction in the arms of another woman. And then who would satisfy me?

I let Eric come to me. He took me gently by the hips and drew me towards him. He pushed my heavy hair over my shoulder to nuzzle my neck and I wrapped my arms around him. His body felt so warm in the cold night air. Eric kissed my neck and nibbled on my earlobe. I pressed myself against his warm flesh, feeling a little victorious and a little sad. Eric cupped my ass and pulled me even tighter against him. I could feel the hot throbbing of his cock against my belly and I just wanted to be even closer to him.

I hopped up, wrapping my legs around Eric and he caught me, easing his cock inside me. I gave a low moan and captured his mouth for a kiss. He kissed me fiercely, almost angrily as I rocked up and down on his cock. I leaned back, letting Eric support me with his hands on my lower back. His cock was at just the right angle now, brushing that sweet spot deep inside me.

I was getting close and so was he. My legs ached and I clung to Eric's neck again, letting him thrust himself inside me. I came with a whimper against his neck, squeezing him tight inside me as shivers of pleasure shook my body. Eric thrust once, twice more and came inside me, whispering my name in a gasp against my damp hair.

We clung together for a moment before I let myself drop back down to the riverbed. Eric looked down into my eyes, I thought he might say something but he didn't. All I saw in his face now was guilt and pain. Disgusted, I left him there and climbed the bluff back to camp.

I woke the next morning a little stiff and sore. I shared a hut/tent thing with two other young women. In camp, basically, if you weren't fucking you had to share a room with other people who weren't fucking either. It was a habit to wake at dawn even though I didn't need to do anything this morning. There was a very strict chore schedule in camp, overseen by Molly, the unofficial matriarch of our little society.

I pretended to be asleep until my roommates left and then I reached my arms above my head, stretching my achy muscles out. A free morning was a rare treat; I had earned the privilege with my raid yesterday. I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself; things like hobbies sort of fall by the wayside when you're struggling to survive every day.

I decided to take a walk to clear my head. After getting dressed I set off to the east. The camp was just waking up around me. A number of people had started on breakfast at the big cook fire and two of my roommates were going around with baskets to collect everyone's laundry.

I took an unnecessary detour to avoid Eric and Megan's tent. It looked like they weren't up yet; I couldn't have borne it if I heard them going at it in there. Was it better for him, with her, I wondered. Did he whisper her name in the moment of passion? I clenched my fists at my sides and strode out of camp, through the woods and into the open fields where I could finally think.

Sometimes I felt like I had lost myself. Before the world ended my whole life was different and I thought about myself in a different way. I guess I just thought about myself more. These days no moment could be wasted on self-reflection. I didn't read, I didn't sing, I spared barely a thought for my appearance. Not that those were all bad things; it was just different.

These days, in my spare moments, I always found myself thinking of Eric. The whole situation had gotten much more complicated than it should have been. I hadn't known Eric before; I'd met him on the road. He was with a group; there had been a lot of survivors at the beginning, in rural areas especially. We'd all teamed up, working together to survive. In many ways it was better than being alone but travelling in a group was nearly impossible.

Eric and I had been on a raid when that first temporary camp was discovered. That night, coming home laden with fresh supplies, we were greeted not by a warm cook-fire, but by the smoldering ruins of our shelters. Our friends had been taken, every one of them.

Eric and I traveled on by ourselves, seeking the rumored haven in the Rocky Mountains. It was on that journey that we fell in love. I looked back on those days as some of my best. It had been hard, certainly, surviving by ourselves, but it had been nice, too. And then one day, purely by chance, we stumbled on the camp where we lived now: a permanent community who had remained safe, stable and undiscovered since the invasion. And there we also found Megan, Eric's long lost fiancée. All of a sudden I didn't know where I stood anymore. In one moment I went from feeling relieved at finding other people, to confused, to hurt as I saw my lover in the arms of another woman, weeping and laughing for joy at the sudden return of someone he thought long dead.

After everything settled down we discussed the situation. I understood, academically, what was going on and of course I gave Eric my blessing. Megan had him before I did and I had no right to try and keep him now. And it worked out OK for a while. I was sad, and I caught Eric giving me wistful looks across the fire now and then but I thought we could work through it.

But it seemed like we couldn't keep apart. Fucking Megan. He might have loved her back in the world but things were different now. It was me he needed here. I could tell he wasn't happy with her, he didn't laugh as much as I remembered. Here the whole dynamic was different. You needed to be strong and tough and you needed to deal with what life threw at you. Megan was none of these things. She was soft and pretty and she seemed to be had at everything.

I kicked at a clod of dirt. This wasn't how I wanted to spend my morning off. I climbed a gentle rise and suddenly I could see the whole world. I looked down at the rolling hills and the woods and the mountains in the distance. From here it all looked so peaceful. It looked like nothing had changed at all.

Most of the raids we took were for food and supplies like soap and medicine. There were also the missions, like the one that Eric and I had just returned from, that were special supply missions for Old Pete (we called him 'Old Pete' because there was another, younger, Pete in camp as well). Back in the world Pete had been some big shot engineer or a physicist or something; and now he was trying to build a transmitter for the radio. He thought there might be other survivors or even an organized resistance somewhere. The transmitter was to contact them.

Basically it was very complicated and it's not like you could just order the parts you needed on the internet. So we went on missions. Some members of our camp frowned on these ventures. Every time someone left camp it was dangerous for us all. Many also doubted that there was anyone else to contact.

On this particular morning, two of our men had just come home from a supply mission for Old Pete. They had walked all night in the rain and returned to camp exhausted. Unfortunately, the prized piece of equipment they had found was irreparably damaged by the water. Pete was pretending not to be mad but I could tell he was. He was pacing up and down under the shelter of the big common tent, grumbling.

Dodging through the raindrops, I went to sit down in the tent. "Hey Pete," I said, by way of a greeting.

"Oh, hey Sweet Pea," he said casting a distracted glance my way. "I just can't believe it," he grumbled, half to himself. "I know I didn't specifically tell them to keep it dry but you would think...common sense..." he shook his head.