I was about 19 and my sex life was new and a little unfulfilling. Fumbling gropes and quick humping from boys my age were all I knew. Sex was something they did to me, they enjoyed, and I just sort of put up with.
The summer of my A-Level finals I drove over to a friend's place for their 20th. It was a good night, with plenty of booze, dancing and pretty, expectant boys following me around, looking ever more hopeful as I got steadily more drunk. I let one grope me in the garden, and another fingered me upstairs in one of the bedrooms. As the night wound down I was pissed, horny and happy. I wasn't really in a state to go home so I decided to crash on the sofa.
Now, I knew my friend's dad was going to be home at some stage in the night. I don't know what his job was, maybe he was just staying away, but we'd met before. He was funny, grown up. Wide across the shoulders, and filled a room in a way all those boys didn't. I didn't hear him come in, and didn't wake up until I heard the kettle in the open plan kitchen start to boil. I sat up in the dark, confused, and must have made a noise, because he jumped, turned, and asked who was there.
I mumbled my name, still not really awake, and still no where near sober. There was a pause for a while then, and I started to think he hadn't heard me, before he replied. He asked me if I'd had a good night, that he was sorry for waking me, and I said it wasn't a problem. He asked me if I wanted a drink, and I told him no, and then he asked me if I wanted anything else.
I was my turn not to reply. A lot was going on down in my stomach, and my throat was suddenly tight. I sat in the warm dark, feeling my blood run, until eventually I said yes. I made sure the way I said it told him what I needed.