Adventures On The Eurorail

Adventures on the EuroRail

This is a continuation of "The Magic Mug" and "The Magic Cruise." Check 'em out sometimes, but this story should work without the backstory.

This story takes place in Europe, but is written by a stupid American who didn't do any research. If you're an American, you probably won't notice. If you're European and think "that's not how trains here work," just let it reinforce the Stupid American stereotype.

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"Look at those mountains!" Dave says as the train rolls down the track.

"They're so tall," Tina smiles in response.

The married couple is a couple hours into their train tour of Europe. The Italian Alps surround the train for the first leg of their vacation. Over the next ten days, they've scheduled a few stops in major cities, and intentionally taken the less-direct train routes so they can see the countryside. European trains are a much better way to travel than AmTrak back home. Cheaper, faster, and more convenient. Their plans take them West to Spain, France, Germany, and back to Italy where they started. They have to share a stateroom, but their travel agent said they would make sure it was a couple they would get along with. Dave imagined it was like how they matched roommates in college.

"So you like the train?" Tina asks. He's just smiling like an idiot looking out the window.

"Yes, thank you," Dave answers sheepishly. EuroRail is actually a great way to see a lot of the region, but he knows his wife went with the train idea for him.

"Do you want to go explore the train?" Tina asks.

"Sure."

They get up from their seats and head towards the front of the train. They're in the last car, so there's nowhere else to go. Tina opens the door and they hear the roar of the wheels outside. The short walkway between cars isn't covered, and only has chain handrails on either side. 'The crazy Europeans do this all the time' Dave thinks to himself, but it's a little scary. Tina dashes across the gap between cars, and Dave follows.

"We made it!" she cheers. He raises his hands in victory.

"We're probably going to have to do that a lot, so we should get used to it."

The next car is the shower & restroom car. Everything seems neat and clean. Way better than a Grayhoud bus restroom. They can't help but compare everything to its American counterpart. Showering on a moving vehicle should be interesting, they'll deal with that in the morning. There's a fairly large compartment in this car labeled "water heater."

"That's neat. The train makes its own hot water," Dave says.

"I guess it would have to?" Tina adds.

"Yeah, I just never thought about it."

They risk death again. (meaning they move through another door into the next car) The third car from the end of the train is the dining car. A vending machine of snacks and bottled drinks flank the doors on either end. An array of tables and chairs line the extra-long car, arranged around a bar against one wall. A sign posts meal and bartender hours for group C.

"Are we group C?" Dave asks his wife.

She pulls her ticket out of her purse. "Yep. Group C."

There are two other couples in the dining car. Both are older, and don't look very friendly. They grab some snacks and drinks and have a seat by the window.

"So how long are we in the mountains?" Tina asks.

"Not too much longer I think." Dave pulls his phone out to look at the map. "No service. But I saved an image of the route. We just passed Florence, and are heading to Genoa. Genoa is on the coast, so we should be able to see the ocean soon. After Genoa we move inland and head for the France-Spain border."

The Andersons relax in the dining car for about a half-hour until they see the ocean.

"Is the Mediterranean Sea an ocean?" Dave asks.

"What counts as an ocean," Tina asks back.

"I'm sure there's something about depth, and what ships can sail on it."

"You can't see to the other side, so I think it's an ocean."

"Good answer."

Theu enjoy the view of the sea for a bit longer before the door to the next car opens. In steps a tall man in a formal tux.

"Gerald!" they both call out.

"It's the Andersons!" he responds in his bold British baritone. "It's wonderful to see you both again. I hope you're enjoying your vacation so far."

"We just got started, but it's been great, I reply to him. "Is this a Magical Adventures Unlimited train?"

Gerald waves his finger at Dave. "Spoilers."

He announces to everyone in the dining car "We will be stopping to pick up a few more passengers in Genoa, then making our way West. Once our new friends join us, all your luggage will be delivered to your staterooms, at which time they will be available. Until then, your rooms are still being prepared. You are free to return to your home car, but your room will be locked for just a bit. Until then we will have special drink service in a moment. Please make yourselves at home, and thank you for joining us."

Gerald exits the door he came from, and is replaced with another man in uniform. This one they don't recognize. He steps behind the bar and unlocks a few cabinets. "Who wants a drink?" he calls out excitedly. Tina orders a glass of wine and Dave takes a strange Euro beer. They head back to their home car with their drinks and flop on the couch. This car isn't as big as the others. Just the couch, a few chairs, and our stateroom. It's nice and cozy, and will make a good home-away-from-home for the next several days.

The scenery changes as they approach Geneoa. The train zips past a few small towns, then slows as they near the center of the city. The train comes to a stop at the Geneoa EuroRail station. A few people disembark. The door to the Andersons' car opens and enter a young couple. With just a carry-on bag each, they step into the car and introduce themselves.

"Hey, how ya doin'?" the woman says in a strong Australian accent. "I'm Sally. This is my husband, Alex." They both reach out to shake hands.

"I'm Tina."

"I'm Dave."

"It's great to meet you," Tina say to them.

"You too," Sally says."

The Andersons sit back down on the couch, and their new friends slide chairs to face them so they can chat.

"So where ya'll from?" Alex asks.

"Arizona, United States," Dave answers him.

Sally gestures to the both of them, "Sydney, Australia."

"Would you believe our Google Assistant voice is Australian that we named Sally?"

She laughs. "Oh, I need to hear that." Dave opens his phone and enters a random city nearby.

Electronic Sally begins, "Head North on Madrid street for three miles," the AI Aussie voice says.

The new friends giggle, "what's a mile," Alex jokingly asks.

"Yeah, Americans are afraid of the metric system" Dave says.

He puts his phone away. Gerald enters the car, joined by two other men carrying luggage. Dave and Tina recognize their suitcases. They assume the others belong to their new friends.

"Luggage for the Andersons and the Wallabys," one man says.

"We're the Andersons," Dave confirm.

"I guess we're the Wallaby's" Alex adds.

The baggage handlers leave the car. "Your stateroom is now ready. We have one more delivery for the Wallabys that a representative will be bringing by shortly. Then we will be on our way.

Gerald leaves the car, and Alex turns to Dave. "For the record, we're not really the Wallabys. EuroRail lets you pick a name for privacy. I figured that we can't help but be obviously Aussie. Might as well lean into it."

"Well we're actually the Andersons. We probably read very American."

"Ya do a bit, hun," Sally says. "So what brings you to Italy?"

"Just a vacation. We like to travel. Tina, here, is a world traveler. She's been to China and Peru. I've never left North America, so we thought a European train tour would be fun. Plus I like trains. So we left our kid at home with the dogs and came here."

"Oh, very nice," Sally says. "We're on vacation too. Alex just finished his masters degree and is starting a new job in Melbourne this fall, so we wanted to get away before we had to move cross country."

"Cool, cool," I say. "Any family at home?"

"That's actually kind of why we're here. New job, new paycheck. It's time to start a family. So we're on vacation, but have no plans. We rented a villa in Barcelona for a week."

Sally continues, "so we're just going to enjoy the beach, and fuck all week, and see what happens."

"That sounds like an awesome vacation," Tina says.

"Should we check into the room?" Alex suggests. They all stand and head to the stateroom. Their keys were left on our bags. Dave takes his and opens the room. THey all enter and survey their living arrangements for the next day. It's bigger than the cabin on the cruise ship, but similar in design. Each wall has two fold-out beds.

"Girls on top!" Sally screams. They're more accustomed to train sleeping arrangements. Alex and Dave fold down the beds. Two sets of bunk beds open up, Tina's and Sally's with ladders.

"Well...you're more excited about climbing than I am, but this will work," Tina says. They guys bring in the bags and find a place along the wall to store them. Tina look out the large window. In the train station, the window looks out into a brick wall. But it should be a nice way to watch the scenery once on the move again. The window has a ledge that would serve as an emergency exit if needed.

They hear a knock on the door. The four return to the common area of the car. They meet another familiar face.

"Hello folks. I'm looking for Alex and Sally Wallaby."

"That's us," they say.

"My name is Faye. I'm from Magical Adventures Unlimited, and I have a special gift for you." She steps toward Sally and hands them a small package wrapped in a dark velvet bag. "Normally I would stay and tell you all about it. Unfortunately your train is about to depart, and I have other deliveries to make. And I'm sure if you have any questions, your new friends here can help."

Faye smiles at everyone and leaves out the back door. Dave looks at Tina puzzled. "We're the last car, right?"

"I thought so." He tries to open the door, only to be met with a warning light that says "end of train."

"So do you guys know that lady?" Alex asks.

"Yeah. I almost didnt recognize her with her clothes on."

The Andersons get looks of confusion and dirty interest from the Wallaby's.

"Open the bag," Dave says. "I bet it's a really fancy coffee cup." Sally opens the bag and removes the artifact, the Mug of Mitigation.

"You two are by far the most interesting random friends we've ever met."

They all sit in the car as the train pulls away from Genoa station and the Andersons tell the story of the Mug. How it came to them. Their limo trip through WinterHaven. Meeting Gerald. The magic snacks in the car. The free cruise.... Neither Alex nor Sally were afraid of asking for the sexy details.

"So the champaign, what was it from, Stamina Vineyards, kept you from cuming?" Alex asked.

"Yep. I didn't time it, but I bet we were fucking for about an hour."

"What would have happened if you didn't follow the directions on the cruise?" Sally asked.

"Probably no more sex on the trip? We didn't want to risk it."

"So people just started fucking out in the open?"

"That's actually when we met Faye. We talked to her on the phone earlier, but she was on the ship. We were having breakfast at a table, and she just walked up topless and started talking. She was trying to get people to join in the activities," Dave says.

"And you didn't..." Sally asks.

"No, we were content to watch that time," Tina replies.

"She did get Tina to flash her tits for a minute," Dave adds. The Wallaby's cheer as you smile shyly.

"Nice," says Alex.

"I'm just jealous," says Sally, holding her own chest. "I wish I could fill out a shirt like you."

Alex reassures his wife, "Babe, it's not about size. It's how suckable they are."

"I know, I know," she says, "but to be honest. I want a baby, sure...but I'm really excited to have pregnancy boobs."

"Well," Alex continues, "I thought about setting up the room. Would you two mind if we got started?"

"Um..no," Tina replies.

"No, go right ahead," Dave adds. The two Aussies head into the stateroom, leaving the Yankees on the couch. It doesn't take long before Dave and Tina hear them. Definitely doing more than just setting up the room. Both are pretty loud. Sally's whimpers cut through the wall, and Alex's grunts almost make the door vibrate. They can't make out any words, but it's clear they're having a good time.

After about a half hour, they return. Both are a bit disheveled, and Sally's hair is clearly undone.

"You two have fun setting up the room?" Dave asks.

"We actually just fucked. Sorry," Alex answers, not reading the sarcasm.

"Well that's a good way to start a vacation," Tina adds.

"Plus it was fun to listen to."

"Oh, you could hear us?" Sally asks, embarrassed.

"Apparently the walls aren't very thick. But it's ok. I mean, who hasn't had sex in public?"

"Oh, I need to hear that story," Sally says excitedly."

"I'm not nearly drunk enough for that yet," Tina says.

Inappropriate chat time comes to an uneasy end as the train begins to shake. They slow quickly as the cars shutter against each other. A bright warning light glows above each door. REMAIN SEATED it reads. The four look at each other worried. They've been through a variety of drills. Fire drills. Lockdown drills. Bus evacuations. Cruise ship muster drills. Never been in a train emergency drill.

Like turbulence on an airplane, the whole train shakes.

"Save the Mug," Sally calls to her husband. Alex reaches for the artifact sitting on the endtable by the chairs. He saves it from crashing to the ground. The train takes a few scarry minutes to come to a full stop. But eventually everything is still.

The area out the window has been scenic wilderness for quite a while.

"Where are we," Sally asks as we all look out the windows.

The intercom chimes, "Attention passengers, Att[static]gers. We have [static]rgency stop. Please remain seat[static] come to each car soon. Unfortunately we can't [static] intercom doesn't work well."

"Well, at least they know the intercom sucks," Dave jokes. Everything seems safe, so they just wait for someone to come find them.

"No cell service," Tina informs the group.

They wait for about 20 minutes for someone to come find them. The sexy talk from earlier doesn't seem to fit amist a train accident, so they resort to actual small talk.

"Is it true that everything in Austrailia wants to kill you?" Dave asks.

"Out in the winderness, yeah. But not in the city," Alex says. "The big spiders don't like people."

"Well that's not exciting."

"How about...where was it..Arizona?"

"We have Black Widow spiders in dark areas. Every once in a while someone gets bit, but the hospitals have anti-venom," Tina says.

"Same with rattlesnakes," Dave adds. "9 out of 10 people that get bitten by rattlesnakes were trying to touch the snake."

"And of course, being teachers," Tina continues, looking at her husband.

"School shooting," they say together.

The Wallabys look horrified. The Andersons just nod in confirmation.

The door to the car slides open, and a EuroRail employee steps in. He's obviously stressed and is concerned at the situation.

"Is everyone here ok?" He asks concerned. They all answer yes. He gives them the rundown of what's happened.

"We think there has been an earthquake somewhere West of us. There is a rockslide in front of us, and a damaged bridge behind us. We think the rockslide has taken out our radio tower, so we can't confirm much. You've probably noticed that there's no cell phone service here. EuroRail has a scheduled StarLink satellite flying overhead every 12 hours. That will let us get an update, and you should be able to connect. It's in range for about 30 minutes, and should be here in a couple hours. It's mainly for emergencies like this, so you can have an email ready to go, but you won't be able to chat with anyone. I encourage you to send an update to family to let them know you're ok.

He continues, "Unfortunately the rocks in front of us are very large. But we really lucked out. Another 30 seconds and they would have hit the train." The four guests of the car are all distracted for a moment by the Mug on the end table. It glows and starts to sparkle. "Oh, that's pretty," the rail employee says. "Sorry, I got distracted. I would guess we're going to be here for a while. The rocks probably damaged the rails. We're going to arrange for an air lift for the children in the cars ahead of you, and the older party. One of them has a heart condition and can't be stranded here. So let me ask again, is anyone here injured or in need of medical care?"

He pauses to let them answer, but they're all ok. "On the good side, the train has plenty of food and water to last many days. It might not be very fancy, but no one is going to starve. We've found a lake nearby where we can pump water for the restrooms and showers, and we can heat our own water and generate power. So think of this as a getaway to a cabin in the woods. Hopefully you can entertain yourselves for a couple days. The car in front of you is your shower and restrooms, and the one after that is your dining car. We'll have food available for you, but won't have it staffed. After the dining car, there's really nothing for you. It's just more sleeper, shower, and dining cars for other passengers. Any questions?"

"Can we leave the train?" Dave asks.

"Sure. Use the door in the back. We'll let you know if we're going to leave anytime soon. I don't know the area, so just be careful.

He pauses for another question. "Ok, prepare your emails to anyone who might be worried about you. And be ready for the satellite. Think about what you might want to find out when it flies by. If you have an emergency, you can pull the emergency brake cable against the wall."

"Thank you," they all say. He exits the front door, leaving the quartet to contemplate our situation.

"So I guess we're not going to see Europe," Dave says.

"If you didn't like trains, we wouldn't be here," Tina jokes.

"We should tell the villa in Barcelona we're not coming," Alex says

"We're lucky we didnt' get hit by rocks," Sally says. Again, the Mug of Mitigation on the end table glows. This time they can hear it give off a low hum.

"Maybe it wasn't luck," Tina theorizes. "Let's see what the rest of the area looks like when we get an update."

They stay in our car until they have their brief internet.

"So what's the Starlink?" Tina asks.

"It's a Space-X satellite that flies very low. It acts as a wi-fi hotspot for areas that don't have access. They use them in the wilderness and in warzones," he explains.

"Elon Musk thinks it will replace cell towers eventually," Alex says. "It should be here any time. Everyone ready?"

The Andersons prepare emails to their parents, babysitter, and hotels they were planning on staying at on their trip. The Wallabys write to their parents back in Austrailia and their place in Barcelona.

"Oh! I have service!" Sally exclaims. They all begin Googling for info. Emails are sent and received.

Dave reads what he sees to everyone, "It was an earthquake. Centered in Barcelona. Looks like a lot of damage. Maybe it's a good thing we stopped when we did."

Alex jumps in, "I got an email from the place we were staying. They've canceled all reservations and are turning people away.

Tina follows with more info. "I have emails from all the places we were going to stay. The one's closest to Spain say the same thing. The ones later on the trip say we can reschedule."

"I'm amazed all those hotels are being that proactive," Sally says. Again, the Mug glows and hums.