"This year has absolutely flown by," Reverend Morris said as he read through the latest edition of the parish magazine. I can't believe it's almost the first Sunday of Advent!"
"It's been quite a year," his wife replied, looking very much troubled.
"Are you alright Jen?" Reverend Morris looked at her. "Something's bothering you, I can tell."
Jenna let out a sigh. "Oh Simon. I'm just so disgusted with recent events. I can't believe what's happened.
He knew at once what she was referring to. "Ah. You mean the Archbishop of Canterbury resigning. No-one was more disgusted than I was. To think, we had to go and dine with him at Bishop George's house last year! Bowing and fawning over him whilst he prattled on about Africa and equal opportunities. That lying, hypocrite of a man had the nerve to threaten me over some 300 year old plaque in my church with the most tenuous link to slavery. And all the time he was covering up for some vile abuser!" He slammed his fist down on the coffee table and it was the first time Jenna had seen her normally mild-mannered husband look so enraged.
"Makes me feel sick!" He added. "Good riddance. I hope whoever replaces him will be an actual Christian this time."
Not as sick as I feel, Jenna thought to herself. Had I known what the Archbishop was truly like, I would never have given him a blowjob at that dinner party! But at the time it was necessary to stop him going public over the offending plaque in St. Michael's church.
Reverend Morris composed himself and sighed. "In times like this, I always find my faith tested. These people at the top have turned away from God. I just hope our dear little church doesn't suffer."
Jenna embraced him. "That won't happen, Simon. I'll make sure of that!"
"I'm feeling better already. We're approaching such a busy and important time in the church calendar. And your birthday too!"
The shocking scandal engulfing the C of E had at least meant that Bishop George had long forgotten Reverend Morris' little dalliance with Sandra Conway at the vicarage garden party back in August. He took a deep breath and wondered if he was ever going to finish his sermon in time for the Sunday service.
Meanwhile, over at 64 Stovepipe Avenue, Gordon the organist had no such worries.
He whimpered and squirmed. It was getting hard to form thoughts between the tickling, let alone words, and the corners of his vision were fuzzing with pink mist that blended in with the view of Mia's of jiggling, bouncing breasts smothering him.
"Has my sexy organist been a naughty boy?" She teased, tickling his balls.
"You always bring out my naughty side...ahh! Ohh! Not down there!
"Heehee...Now I'm going to..."
Suddenly, Gordon's smartphone rang, disturbing their afternoon pleasure.
"Oh ignore it," he mumbled, in between kissing his girlfriend. The annoying ringtone continued, before the phone finally went silent. "What were you going to do?"
"Open your diapason," Mia giggled, wrapping her hand round his cock. "That's the right term, yes?"
"Oh yes," he replied, sucking on her nipples. "You've already made me Swell to Great!" Gordon always loved it when pipe organ-themed words were used during sex.
The phone rang again.
"Damn and blast it," Gordon exclaimed, reaching over to the bedside table. "Can't have five minute's peace. I should've switched it off."
"Better answer it, it must be important," Mia said, licking the tip of his cock.
"Hello? Oh hello Reverend."
"Hope I haven't caught you at a bad moment, Gordon?" The vicar said. "Are you alright? Your voice sounds a little shaky."
"Er, no I'm fine. Just er, doing a bit of D.I.Y...what can I do for you?"
"Well about this Sunday's service. I would've emailed you but my Gmail has been playing up. Can't seem to log in at all. I hope it'll resolve itself soon. Anyways, could you play Happy Birthday on the organ after the service? It's for Gladys Wilcox. She's eighty-eight. I'll make an announcement during the reading of the notices."
"Ohhh..." A groan of pleasure escaped Gordon's lips. "Umm, yes, of course I can!"
"Are you sure you're okay? You sound tired." Reverend Morris asked.
"I'm fine, Vicar. I'm...trying to...er, er, unblock the toilet. Eighty-eight? Good old Gladys, that's an achievement."
Mia struggled to hold back a laugh and continued pleasuring the organist.
"Right, thanks so much. I won't detain you further. Hope you get your toilet sorted. See you on Sunday!"
The call ended and Gordon switched off the phone.
"Unblocking the toilet?" Mia laughed, jacking his cock. "You should've said you were getting your pipes cleaned!"
"It's hard to think clearly when a sexy lass has her lips round your dick!"
Reverend Morris put down the phone. "Hmm, Gordon has organ practice in ten minutes. He's picked a fine time to unblock his toilet. Unless he's giving the practice a miss this week."
"A blocked toilet is serious business though," Jenna replied. "Remember the trouble we had with our downstairs one after the vicarage garden party? Good thing Norman was able to fix it. Took him a while."
"I still haven't a clue what it was that got flushed down there. Norman said it was a toy, but Christopher insisted it wasn't one of his, and none of the other kids at the gathering used the downstairs loo...not that it matters. Norman seemed rather embarrassed as I recall."
"Maybe it wasn't a toy at all but a massive turd," Jenna added. "I bet poor Norman just said it was a toy because he didn't want to gross us out or embarrass anyone. By the way, did you notice how distracted he's been recently? I think he's got his eye on that newcomer to our church...what did you say her name was?"
Reverend Morris took a sip of his coffee. "Oh. Eileen Hattersley. Yes, she's been attending our church for about a month now. She's a widow, and was brought up Catholic...used to attend St. Mary's when Father Aiden was there. She was very fond of him, but since he jumped ship and joined the Living Earth Free Church, she seemed to undergo a crisis of faith. I think LEFC is a bit too modern for her, and the new priest at St. Mary's isn't as approachable, so I've heard."
"Hmm, I wonder what Gladys will think of Norman eyeing up a younger woman? They've had a sort of master-slave relationship for over a year now!"
"Not sure! I still can't get that image of him in that pinny and being whipped out of my mind," the vicar said, shaking his head. "Whatever floats your boat. He's an excellent churchwarden. Anyways, I'd better hurry. I've got to be at the Youth Opportunities meeting at the town hall."
Alone in the house, Jenna couldn't help but feel regret. Her musings were interrupted by a knock on the door.