Dave arrived at work, met with the team and started the day. He was on a conference call with the executive team when his phone rang. He checked it and saw that it was Joan and sent it to voicemail, assuming she'd call back immediately. Instead, a moment later he got a notification of a new voicemail. The call finished and he went to get a cup of coffee, then pushed the button to hear what kind of horrible things Joan would have to say.
He was shocked when he heard her voice say, "Dave, I'm sorry about how I reacted yesterday. It was just such a shock to see you with another woman, especially after the whole Karen thing. I want to talk and work this out. Can we meet for lunch, please. Just text me when and where and I'll be there."
Sitting back in his chair, Dave took a drink of coffee and pondered his phone, flipping it around in his hand as he thought. What was that crazy bitch up to? He knew better than to believe her. But something had to give, he had to deal with her and get this divorce filed. So, he texted her the address of a cafe and told her to meet him there at twelve-thirty.
He left the office at twelve-thirty with a manila envelope under his arm for the five-minute walk to the cafe, he planned to be a couple minutes late to spin her up. Joan was waiting at a table when he got there. She stood as he walked up to the table and hugged him with a smile on her face, that settled it, now he was sure she was up to something. He hugged her politely, then sat and placed the envelope on the table beside his right elbow.
"Dave, as I said in my message, I'm sorry," Joan said softly, looking in his eyes. "This has gotten way out of hand. All I want is for this to be over and us to be happy again." As she finished a waitress came to the table and took their order, then walked away.
Dave smiled and looked back at Joan as he said, "Joan, I couldn't agree more, all I want is for us to be happy again."
Joan smiled and replied, "Oh, Dave, I'm so glad. So, when can we go back home?"
Dave's smile broadened as he said, "Oh, I am home, Joan."
Joan smiled with her condescending look and said, "No, silly, Our home. When can we pack up your things and go home."
"I am moving here as soon as I can find a place, Joan," he said quietly.
Looking at him for a moment, she smiled and said, "Well, I guess we could move here. Maybe a change of scenery would be good for us."
He shook his head, understanding her plan now. "Joan," he said, "I am moving here without you."
She looked at him with a look of confusion and replied, "But Dave, you just said you wanted us to be happy together again."
"Actually, what I said was that I wanted us to be happy again," he replied, "We will be happy, or at least I will be happy, when we get this divorce finalized." As he said it, he patted the envelope laying on the table.
A look of rage, not sorrow, flashed over Joan's face, then the crocodile tears started. "Dave, everything we've built together, we can't throw that away," she said. "I'm willing to forgive you for Karen and for that slut at the hotel, I just need you to come home so we can work this out."
"I am not looking for your forgiveness," he said, the smile never leaving his face.
Her tears started to flow, and she looked up at him, her eyes pleading.
"Joan, enough," he said, shaking his head, "We're done. The only thing left is the divorce settlement."
The tears disappeared immediately, replaced by a look of pure hate. "So, you're trading me in for a younger model?" she said through clenched teeth. "I thought you were a better person than that."
Dave just laughed as she moved to shaming. He shook his head and said, "No, Joan, I didn't trade you in, I left you because." He stopped, getting into an argument with her was just what she wanted. "Joan, it's done, all that's left is finalizing the legal part. So, I'm going to make this easy." He placed his hand on the envelope and continued, "This is my final offer before we end up in court where your adventures during our marriage will all be brought out. This offers you the house and all the equity in it, plus a quarter of my investment account."
He slid the envelope across the table to her and said, "I sent a copy of this to your lawyer before I left the office. You have until noon tomorrow to sign it, or my lawyer will be filing the court papers. My lawyer says I'm offering you way too much, that we should go to court, the evidence we have of your activities would probably mean you get nothing. But I'd rather give the money to you than to him and your lawyer, so be smart, take the offer and let's move on with our lives." With that, he stood and tossed two twenty-dollar bills on the table and walked out.
Joan sat, stunned. This had not gone at all as she had planned. What the fuck had happened to him. As she sat, the waitress walked up with their lunch and set the plates on the table. Joan picked up the envelope and left, leaving the food and the money on the table. The waitress started to say something, then just picked up the money and went back to the computer to close out the check.
Joan got into her car and called her lawyer. She told him what Dave had said and he asked her what was going to come out in court that he didn't know about. She gave him a quick overview of what she thought he might know, and her lawyer said he'd call her back.
Dave went back to the office and called his lawyer, as usual letting him know what had happened. "That's an interesting strategy," his lawyer said, "not the way I would have gone, but we'll see what happens."
Dave left the office at four to meet his real estate broker and look at a few condos. As they were touring one of the condos, Dave received a text from Joan saying she wanted to meet and work this out. He responded that she had until noon tomorrow to sign the papers, or they were going to court. An hour later he received another text from her that the divorce papers had been signed and she would leave them at the front desk of the hotel. Her lawyer must have explained what she'd probably get if she rolled the dice in court. He told his agent that it was good news, looks like the finances are settled and things may move forward sooner rather than later.