A True Whore's Diary

Hi! I will return to the saga of Anne-Marie soon, but in the meantime I thought I'd share another diary entry. This time it is one from before I worked in the specialist spanking brothel.

I was 21 and a relatively new sex worker. I had been working in a low-rent brothel/massage parlour above a betting shop in Barking, London for two months. I'd been selling myself for financial reasons due to massive student debts, but after even a short time working in such a degrading environment, I had realised the reasons I kept on doing it were much more complex. I felt I knew it all at this point -- I was so naively confident and so pleased to have discovered how turned I got by the shame of selling myself. The nervous virgin whore of the first three-four weeks working was already long behind me, by the time I came to write this following entry.

I am still nervous about sharing these entries as it is one thing having your writing and fantasies being slagged off, it's another thing when it is genuine bit of autobiography. I regularly re-read my diaries from when I was student sex worker and this day is one I often go back to. Please keep in mind that the following is transcribed from a diary entry so doesn't read like a traditional story.

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I've now memorised the menu. Saying it out loud to punters humiliates me, turns me on in an almost scary way. Saying the sex acts I will do, putting a price on them -- it's the most whoreish of things and it makes my cunny flutter. £30 for 30 minutes and a handjob. £40 for 30 minutes with oral. £60 for 30 minutes with sex. £100 for 30 minutes with anal. Al the extras -- £10 for dressing up, £10 for role-play, £10 digital penetration. Toy show -- £20. Bondage, spanking and kissing -- all at £20 and the girl's discretion. Come In Mouth £20 at girl's discretion. Reverse oral £20. £100 for a full hour. Speak to management to arrange a two-girl show or session. All other extras negotiable at the girl's discretion.

When I think about it at night, the menu makes me face up to a what a cheap whore I actually am. Cheaper than the punters know when I remember that £40 for 30 minutes with oral means I am sucking a cock for just £30 after the house takes its 25% cut. I don't think I will ever be able to explain to anyone why selling my body for so little thrills me. I don't think I can even explain it to myself.

I now know from working in the brothel that humiliation, the mortification and shame of being a prostitute excites me like nothing else has. Being bought is my ultimate thrill. I need the degradation it provides.

I didn't ever expect the humiliation of having to parade in lingerie with others girls so that punters can choose which one they fancy fucking more would make me so wet. I didn't know having regulars that come back week after week because they enjoy fucking me in school uniform or sodomising me or both would make me simultaneously feel pride and total shame. Make me so turned on that sometimes I can actually come before the punter does.

I didn't know before I started this that my cunny could actually drip from someone counting out six tenners and knowing that the money meant he could fuck however he wanted, use me like a cheap piece of meat. I never guessed I would be so turned on by servicing a parade of obese old men, by servicing so many anonymous Turks and Pakistanis. I didn't know I'd come from being called a "white whore" during rough, brutal sex. Didn't know I'd come from having my hair pulled back and being called an "anal whore" whilst someone fucked my bum for £75.

I know the other girls I work with dislike me because I'm "posh" (only compared to them!) and I actually get off on what I do. I know Margo would have me working every day she could because I am so popular with the punters. She keeps begging me to add an extra shift to Friday and Sunday, but to be honest I am taking so many customers I need the recovery time of being off for the rest of the week -- that and I know my studies would suffer if I did an extra shift. Besides, I'm now making around a £1,400 in total for the two days that I do work.

Today was incredibly busy for the Sunday shift and working 11am to 10pm I still saw 10 punters. I felt a sick pride that as soon as I'd turned up and was sitting in the kitchen having my first cup of tea, Margo brought out the appointments book and told me I had bookings at 3pm, 4pm, 6pm and 7:30pm. I felt even more shame and excitement when she told me they were all: "Your regulars."

I found out the other girl working the shift was Nuong, the pretty young Asian girl with unfeasibly big breasts. She doesn't like me and not only doesn't speak to me when we are in the kitchen, but often just glowers at me while talking to Margo. I felt childishly superior to her when Margo told her she didn't have any bookings.

However, my smugness didn't last long. Within a couple of minutes of Margo opening up at 11am, we had our first walk-in. Nuong and I both came down to the lounge so he could select which one of us he wanted to hire. She was wearing white stockings, lacy white knickers and a lacy white basque. She also had on a pair of gorgeous red heels that helped disguise that like me she is about 5 foot nothing. I was wearing black patent leather 2-inch heels with a sandal strap, black fishnets and black lace garter belt, and my black mesh knickers and bra set.

Nuong looked stunning. I even found her attractive. I slyly kept looking up and down between the neatly trimmed but dense black pube landing strip that you could see through the lace and her enormous breasts -- they must be at least 36D. Between the prospect of the shame of being sized up as a piece of fuck-meat worth paying for and seeing Nuong look so hot, I was somewhat excited before we even went into the lounge. My cunny was a little damp.

The punter was an old Pakistani man, probably in his late 50s or early 60s. He made us parade for a good minutes or so which was making me feel increasingly humiliated and therefore turned on when he asked me: "Do you suck well?"

"Yes. I think I am good at that."

He then asked Nuong the same question and she gave me a snide glance and said: "I'm much better than her."

Of course, the punter picked her and I was left feeing mortified and frustrated. There's a huge sense of sexual indignity having to parade to around in lingerie in the hope of being picked to be fucked for £60 by some old man. I've discovered it turns me on, but there's a cruelty in the abashment of not being the one selected. It makes me feel not only cheap, but a failure. I went back up to my room feeling disappointed, thwarted and in need of an orgasm.

After about 10 minutes, Margo fetched me down to the lounge to introduce me to a walk-in. He was Turkish, in his early 50s and had quite a paunch on him. His hair and beard were going grey and he smelt really strongly of stale tobacco. Margo introduced him as Alp and he gave me a very leering appraisal. He then said: "You suck and fuck for £60?"

I felt so cheap hearing those words and so of course, I was turned on.

"Yes, I will suck and fuck for £60. I'll do other things too."

Alp then followed me to my room where he made it clear very quickly he wasn't interested in any extras. As soon as he had paid me, he pushed me down onto the bed, pulled my breasts out of my bra and still fully dressed, laid on top of me and put one of his large hands down my knickers whilst sucking on my nipples. It was very dominant and forceful and to be honest, felt a bit rapey. This just meant I was hugely turned on and Alp had no trouble getting two fingers into my wet cunny. I didn't charge him for the digital penetration -- I doubt I could have made him pay or stop and that in itself excited me. Unfortunately, after only about a minute, Alp commanded: "You suck now."

He laid on the bed and I undid his belt and flies and pulled his penis from his boxers. He was iron hard and a good seven inches in length with a fair bit of girth. Even before I pushed my tongue out and took him into my mouth, I knew his cock was dirty as I could smell the sweat and urine. I pushed through the revulsion thinking about how I was degrading myself, sucking this vile, stinky cock for cash and my cunny was pulsing.

Within a couple of minutes Alp was moaning from my ministrations and said: "You have a good whore mouth."

Hearing those words excited me so much that I began touching myself. It was just at the point that I was getting close to coming, when Alp said: "I fuck you now like a dog."

I put the condom on him with my mouth which he seemed to like and then slipped off my knickers and got on all fours. Then with quite sudden brutality, he slammed his full length into me and began to give me a hard fucking. It was tight and uncomfortable accommodating all of him and his powerful thrusts at first. It was such a furious pounding, with him either groping my breasts or painfully grasping my hips. The fact that he hadn't even bothered to take off his trousers just made me feel dirtier. As did the weight of his belly on my back as he took me.

He began to call out: "Aptal fahişe! Aptal fahişe!" I knew this was the Turkish word for whore and the verbal abuse took me over the edge.

I came crying out: "Fuck my £60 whore cunt! Fuck me!"

It was a powerful orgasm and I even managed a bit of minor squirting. Unfortunately Alp didn't last much longer and he gave a great piggish grunt and I could feel him filling the condom. He pulled out and once he had cleaned himself with wet wipes, did up his trousers and left. He didn't even say goodbye. I truly was a £60 suck and fuck fahişe.

I was still so turned on from the degradation of selling myself and being used like I was no more than meat by this rough Turkish man, that instead of cleaning myself straight away I lay on the bed and manipulated myself to another smaller climax. I came very quickly thinking about how he had commanded me -- no please or thank you -- to let him 'fuck me like a dog', how full his brutal fucking had made me feel. In the aftermath of my achievement, the room suddenly seemed full of the smell of sex and much more dingy than before. I was overwhelmed with a knowing I'd sold myself cheaply, sullied myself in a dirty, cheap brothel.

Take: £60 (£45 after house cut)

After lighting some incense and sorting out the bed for the next punter, I changed into my black lace bustier bra and knickers with the zips in the front of them as between my wetness and Alp's fingers, my mesh knickers were quite sticky. I was just putting on my dressing gown to go down to the kitchen for a cup of tea when Margo told me to come down for another parade with Nuong.

This time the punter was white and his late thirties. He had an East European accent and was much better looking than most customers. Margo introduced him as Bartek and I really wanted him to pick me over Nuong. I felt like a teenager wanting the good-looking boy to pick me for a dance at the school disco. After about a minute of Bartek leering at us both and me getting turned on by humiliation of standing in front of him in lingerie in the hope he'd pick me to pay to fuck, he choose to go with Nuong. As I went out to the kitchen with Margo I felt totally deflated. I didn't understand why I wasn't being picked. In the time it took for me to have some tea and silently fume about coming second best to Nuong twice another punter walked in and after a couple of minutes, Margo took me into the lounge. She introduced him as Alex and we shook hands. He was in his early fifties, white, bald. Quite a large man with something of a paunch, it was obvious as soon as he saw me that he liked the look of me.

Alex asked: "How old are you?"

"I'm old enough. 19."

"It's just that you look very young."

"I get that a lot, especially in my school uniform."

"Do you have one?"

"Yes, it's upstairs. Shall we go see it?"

After that exchange Alex was putty in my hands and followed me to my room. I went through the whole menu with him and it not only turned me on to humiliate myself by telling him the prices I'd sell myself for, but hearing what I was willing to do got him obviously hard.

He then told me: "I wanted to see you in your school uniform, but I like the get-up you are wearing now so I'd luck to fuck you in that. I'd like to pay extra to finger you and to kiss you. Is that OK with you?"

I nodded and told him it would be £90. As he was counting out the notes I could feel my knickers getting damp and my cunny fluttering from selling myself again. Alex got undressed and sat on the edge of the bed and beckoned for me to come across to him. As I stood before him, he undid the little zip at the front of my knickers and put his pudgy fingers down the front of them.

Even before he brushed my clit and slipped his index finger into me, his running commentary already had me totally turned on. He said: "It's nice to see you have red pubes. I do like a ginger cunt. You know you do look so young, young and pretty. I really like the idea of fucking someone more than 35 years younger than me. You are very wet. Much wetter than most girls in this situation. Tell me do you like fucking old men?"

With his thumb rubbing my clit and one finger fulled curved into me, all I could do was sigh and nod. Each moment of his fingering and his commentary was getting me closer and closer. He then asked me: "Why are you on the game?"

I answered honestly: "I'm a student. I'm in debt. I need to sell myself."

This seemed to turn Alex on even more. "So why are you so wet? Do you like this? Do you like me fingering you?"

I was biting my lip and sighing much more loudly now. I told him: "It turns me on selling myself to you, to people like you. It turns me on letting you finger my cunny for £10. I like being a student whore."

These words were entirely honest and they turned both me and Alex on. He very soon had pulled down my knickers fully and had two fingers snug inside me while he circled and rubbed my clit. I was panting and getting very close to an orgasm so I urged him on saying: "Finger my student cunt. Finger-fuck my dirty whore pussy."

This had the desired impact and Alex began to vigorously finger-bang me while flicking my clitoris and calling me a: "Dirty little student. Dirty student slut." Within a minute or so I was spasming around his fingers while shouting out: "Fuck me Alex, fuck my young cunt!"

He seemed shocked that I'd had a genuine orgasm with just a hint of a squirtle. Whilst I was still panting he stood up, putting his hands on my shoulders to push me to my knees. He then said: "I want you to suck, but not too much as I have a hair-trigger cock."

I rolled a condom onto him. He was a good five inches, nicely thick, circumcised and with a big crown on him. Unlike Alp, he smelled relatively clean down there. I do like a punter who has had the courtesy to take shower before visiting me. Keeping in mind his warning about his sensitivity/premature problem, I gently opened my mouth, stuck out my tongue as a warm wet runway and gently closed my lips around his cock, bobbing back and forth on it very slowly. He stroked my and lightly held the back of the head whilst continually saying: "Good girl. Good girl."

There was something about that phrase that started a whole new cycle of arousal in me. I began to manipulate myself as I fellated him and was pleased when after only a couple of minutes he indicated he wanted to move onto the fucking part of the transaction. I lay on my back and spread my legs and he pushed into me with a loud grunt. I gave a little yelp which was part discomfort, part pleasure at surrendering my sex to him.

With him pressing down on me, crushing my breasts, he began to French kiss me. His tongue pushing into my mouth as he began to thrust in and out of me. I thought about how I sold him access to my mouth and my sex and felt incredibly dirty, ashamed and excited. Every time our mouths disengaged I told him to: "Fuck me. Fuck me Alex. Fuck my student cunt."

His weight pressed down and his kissing became more frenzied. I parted my fishnet-clad legs wider, grabbed onto the flab of his arms as he thrusted in and out with greater speed, greater hardness. Rising and falling between my splayed thighs, I felt him splitting my puffed up cunt lips and I was simultaneously revulsed and excited. I was a student whore on my back, servicing a saggy fleshed man more than old enough to be my father. His breathing was ragged, his grunts now totally animalistic. It was obvious we was close to coming and so was I. He clamped his mouth down onto mine again and I came.

As I spasmed around him he roared: "Good girl! Good little cunt!" and flooded the condom. For a man with a hair-trigger cock, he'd lasted long enough to give me a good orgasm. He rolled off me as he started to become flaccid and I cleaned him up and threw the condom into the bin. Then, totally unlike my first punter, he cuddled me for a few minutes and chatted till his time was up.

He asked me how long I'd been working and when I told him just a month he said: "I thought so. There's a freshness about you and have an incredibly tight pussy." That made me feel both ashamed and proud. He also said he will come and visit me next Sunday and: "Fuck you in your school uniform."

Take: £90 (£67.50 after house cut)

I'd worked 90 minutes so far, serviced two punters, sold my mouth and cunny for £112.50) and had eight and half hours left on my shift, so I totally felt I'd earned another cup of tea and some choccie biccies.

The next walk-in wasn't until just after 1pm and yet again, I lost out to Nuong. This time the punter was English, in his forties and called Derek. Feeling deflated, somewhat wounded and frustrated, I only had to wait about five minutes before the next punter came up the stairs. Margo took me into the lounge and introduced me to Abir, a small Bengali man about 5'4" whose thinning hair was slicked back with some sort of odd smelling Byrlcreem and who had terrible, yellowing teeth. After he had given me a quick appraisal I led him to my room and went through the menu. He selected the £60 suck and fuck with kissing and counted out the £80 I asked for.

As soon as he undressed I noticed how much he stank of sweat. I'd swear he hadn't washed for a week. We sat on the edge of the bed and he unzipped the front of my bra and started to squeeze and pull on my little breasts. I was totally repulsed by his stench and felt a little like throwing up when he began to kiss my neck and suckle on my nipples. It became even worse when he eventually insisted on kissing me. His breath was rank. It was if he had eaten a dead rat of something. Even though I have been doing this for six weeks now, it took all my self-control to not push him off me and run from the room. He was just so horrid. I felt physically sick and this time absolutely no arousal alongside the utter repulsion I was experiencing.

After about five minutes of him mauling my breasts till they were sore and making me gag with his clumsy kissing and vile halitosis, I managed to get a condom over his small cock. It was only about three-inches long and looked a little bit like a misshapen mushroom with its somewhat flared head. The stench of sweat and urine coming off of Abir's crotch was the worst I have ever dealt with and I was relieved when after only a couple of minutes of very unenthusiastic fellatio from me, he pushed me down on the bed and pulled my knickers off.

I spread my thighs and he manoeuvred himself between them, pushing his rubber-coated brown cock between my puffer outer lips. I wasn't lubricated like I usually am and despite its smallness, his pushing himself into me actually caused me to wince. He then painfully gripped my shoulders and began to push himself all the way into me and then out. Despite myself, I felt my cunny moistening as he fucked me. The more he pushed his rancid tongue into my mouth, the more he rose and fell against me, the more I thought about how I hated this, the wetter I became. I started to wriggle against him, begged him to fuck me harder, but this backfired because as soon as I did, he came in me with grunt and something said in Bengali. Abir then pulled out of me, pulled the condom off and threw it on the bed beside me, before wordlessly getting dressed. I felt degraded, turned on and entirely thwarted in a sudden need to come now he had actually stopped fucking me.