A Touch for Survival

Nothing was the same once the bombs dropped, war and destruction took hold. Those who fought died, those who fled tried to survive, searching for something safe. I didn't flee, I didn't need to, I was one of the lucky ones. I lived in an area almost untouched by war, and so far out of reach that it hadn't been taken over, raided, looted by people. I didn't have a lot but I was able to get by. While it was safe enough, it didn't mean there were no worries - there were people out there who given the chance or opportunity would take anything you had, because survival at any cost was our lives now.

It had been months since I had seen another human, even longer since id spoken to one. Once or twice i had see people, far from my home, in the woods while collecting supplies. I never engage, I never let myself be seen. It was too dangerous - trusting someone not to take advantage, hurt you or even kill you to get what they needed from you...it wasn't the way things were now. There was no trust anymore. I had learned that protecting my peace was more important. Which is why the day I saw him, I took the ultimate risk...

I heard him before I saw him, the sound of tired dragging feet, a slow effort filled walk that told me he had been on his feet a long time. I went to the window and opened the curtain slightly, just enough to get a look. He was so far away from the nearest town or village, why had he come this far? what was he looking for?. What I saw was a man, he was dirty head to toe, his shoes looked very worn down. His face was barely visible, a layer of dirt, I could see he had dark hair, it was short and messy. More than anything he looked tired, like every step he took was visible pain. I felt a pang of guilt. Here I am, in my home, clean, fed and warm. I closed the curtain for a moment, looking at him didn't help the situation. My brain kept repeating, you shouldn't help...its dangerous...protect yourself...but I knew there was nothing beyond this point, he could be walking for days more and still never find anything or anyone. No one would help him. Against my better judgement I made a quick decision with one simple thought - what if it was me?

I opened my door and made eye contact with him, the look of mild fear mixed with relief crossed his face. I instantly felt better, if he seemed scared then surely he wasn't gonna hurt me. I quickly walked across the road, looking around to make sure no one else was watching, I approached him slowly once I was close enough.

"Are you okay? Do you need some water?"

He studied me for a moment before responding in a dry husky tone.

"Yes, yes please"

I gestured my hand towards my front door,

"We need to go inside, its safer there"

He simply nodded and followed me across the road to my house. Once inside I locked the door and pointed towards the living room. He slowly walked into the room, I thought he was still moving slow from tiredness but he was taking in the room with his mouth open. I knew what he was thinking, where he has come from, a sight like this isnt common anymore, a normal home. I gave him a moment and then started on helping.

"Please have a seat, im going to get you some water, and something to eat - you must be hungry"

He looked like he wanted to say a thousand things but he just nodded.

When I got back from the kitchen, a large glass of water in one hand and a bowl of warm soup in the other, some left over bread from this morning on the side. His eyes widened, he was taking in the smell - it was a basic soup but for someone that hungry it must smell like heaven. I put both items on the table, his hands moved quick, he ripped the bread apart with his hands. He devoured the soup so quickly, I sat in silence watching. I wanted to ask questions about what he had seen, where he had been, where he was going but I didn't. It was my first time in the presence of a man in years, I didn't want to get too involved. I was going to help just enough. He finished eating and drank the whole glass of water in one go, huge gulps. He was done, and now we were sitting in silence together. It felt nice.

"Thank you" he said.

"Its dangerous out there, there are people who will hurt you...there's nothing beyond this point, no help....look this isn't something I normally do. A day or two to recover and then you'll have to be on your way"

He looked nervous at the prospect of going outside again, his eyes instinctively went to the door. I continued..

"You can have a shower now if you like, I can wash and dry your clothes so they're clean. You'll feel better after a shower"

"That's very kind of you" he said. And he meant it, I could tell he hadn't seen much kindness on his journey here so far. I felt proud of myself for a moment, but then remembered that my kindness is limited too. For my own safety, he would need to leave.

He left his clothes outside the bathroom, and I took them and washed them in the sink, the brown water ran off his clothes...miles and miles of walking, I was washing it all away. Its the least I can do. He'll be fed, had water, washed and have somewhere safe to sleep for at least a night. That's the best I can do. By time I was done washing his clothes he was coming out of my bathroom, now he was clean I could really see him. Clean brown hair, kind eyes, he had facial hair..in ordinary circumstances I would have found him incredibly attractive but I couldn't let myself even think about that now. He was wearing a towel around his waist and there were droplets of water all over his body. He was thinner than he should be. I felt that guilty feeling again - I wanted to stare more, I wanted to look at him for hours and take him all in but I dropped my eyes to the floor.

"Your clothes will be dry soon, there's a t-shirt here but unfortunately I don't have any pants, you're welcome to stay in the towel by the fire to stay warm though"

Again he nodded.

We both walked into the sitting room to sit by the fire, he was mesmerised once again, heat is not something he used to either. We sat in silence again for a moment, I was beginning to think he was the quiet silent type when he suddenly began to speak.

"I haven't seen anything like this for a very long time, haven't felt water...let alone hot water on my skin in....I don't know how long"

His accent wasn't Irish, he wasn't from here, but he had been here when the war started. As he sat by the fire the towel covering his lower half opened at the split, his leg and thigh was was now bare. His skin looked so perfect, I wondered what it felt like, to feel real skin that wasn't my own. It had been so long. To feel, to be felt. I wanted to run my nails through the hair on his thigh and see how his body would react. I was in a trance when he brought me back to reality with his words.

"Sorry" he began to cover his leg.

Oh god, he had seen me looking, seen me staring, again! I tried to laugh it off, "Oh don't worry" I said. "Its fine, I just want you to be warm."

He gave me a shy smile and stopped fiddling with the towel.

"There's only one bedroom, I sleep in there. You can sleep on the sofa in here, I'll bring pillows and a blanket for you" I explained.

He looked at me like I was telling him he had won the lottery. He leaned back into the chair and relaxed for the first time since I took him in. His face was glowing with the light from the fire and in his relaxed slouching he had again cause his towel to open..this time a little more. I couldn't look away. I instinctively licked my lips as I looked at the bulge under the towel...the thought that a little more movement and I would see exactly what was under there had me excited for a moment. His leg moved ever so lightly revealing some of his pubic hair. My breath caught, and we made eye contact for just a moment. It looked like he was smiling but I couldn't tell in the dim lighting.

I got up immediately to go busy myself with getting pillows and a blanket for him. He was having an effect on me that I didn't like, he was making me want things that i didn't think i was ever going to have again. I went to the cupboard to get what I needed, while there I took a deep breath for a second. My mind was getting ahead of itself and my body was even worse. I could feel my pussy getting wet, starting to throb. I did not need this! He was leaving tomorrow, two days tops! Getting involved wasn't a good idea. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and grabbed two pillows, two pillow cases and a blanket. I went back to the sitting room and put the items on the sofa. I started to put the first pillow into its case when he got up and came over to help. He picked up the second pillow and started putting it into its case. We did this in silence, I laid my one down, he put his on top, we both reached for the blanket at the same time. Our hands touched, just for a second but it felt hot, I pulled back quickly.

"Sorry" I said immediately

I was sorry, I was sorry I pulled away so soon, sorry is didn't beg for more, beg to be touched all over. I could still feel the heat on my fingers.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to..." he was already apologising.

"No, no please don't. Its just been a a very long time since I felt human touch... you didn't do anything wrong" I tell him.

I leave him to get ready to sleep

"I'll just get you a glass of water before I go to bed"

I get a glass for him and a glass for me. I take it to him, he's already asleep, he looks so much younger, his face stress free. He's so handsome. I place the glass on the table next to the sofa. I go to my room and get ready for bed.

I get changed for bed, into an oversized t-shirt. Normally I would sleep naked but with someone else in the house it just doesn't feel right. So I climb into bed and turn off the lights. I lay in the dark and think about the events of the day, never did I think I would have a man in my house ever again. I don't think I have anything to fear with him but I cant be 100% sure. I think about how he looked when I first brought him inside and how he looks now. How him being warm and safe makes me feel better, I've helped him. It feels good to help someone. I think about he looked relaxed and comfortable in front of my fire, I think about his warm skin, and how he looked when he was wet. Before I know it I can feel myself getting aroused again, my body wants something from me. I want to let it have it and I'm running out of reasons not to. Maybe in me helping him I can do something nice for me too. So I think long and hard about him, about his eyes looking at me while I'm looking at his bulge through the towel - god that turned me on. I run my down my body to the edge of my t-shirt, its loose, I put my hands under it and reach up to run my nails across my tits, grazing the skin instantly causes a blood rush and my nipples are hard within ten seconds. I pinch them and pull on them, they're pierced and so sensitive. I think about them being sucked really hard as I pull on them. The feeling makes me let out a small moan. While my left hand pulls on my nipples, my right hand travels down my tummy, until I get to my pussy. I run my fingers the length of it and feel just how wet it is. My body so desperately needs release, I start to play with my clit, circular motions until my back is arching off the bed. Soft moans escape my mouth, I'm trying my best to be quiet but the moment takes over me and I can feel myself building to a climax and I think of what id like this man to do to me, I know that the feeling of his lips on my body would have me quivering. The touch of his tongue on my pussy would have me writhing, it would be uncontrollable. My moans get louder, I cant control it, I'm gonna come. My head tips back as I take one last deep breath and I explode. I lose any sense of how loud my moans are and in the moment I don't care.

I lay in post-orgasm bliss for a few moments and then I hear a noise, oh my god I've either woken him or he was already awake and heard everything - I'm so embarrassed! And worse, I need to go to the bathroom now too. I decide its better to to just go so I get up and go to the bathroom as quietly as possibly. Unfortunately he had the same idea at the same time and when I walk out my bedroom door he's standing there naked - he looks sleepy and disorientated for a second - I look him up and down, take him in....his cock is hard! I do a double take and yes, very much a hard cock right in front of me. He snaps back to reality but Its just a fraction too late, I've seen it. He attempts to cover his cock with his hands, not an easy task.

"I'm sorry, I was going to the bathroom, I didn't realise you were too" he says

I pull at the hem of my t-shirt to cover myself more even though I know my ass is covered and the t-shirt isn't going to get magically bigger the more I pull on it. Still I feel vulnerable and shy. I gesture for him to go first and he does. Once he's in the bathroom I pace back and forth mind racing, did he hear me?, was he listening to me pleasuring myself?, was he pleasuring himself? is that why he's hard? God he's hard, my pussy throbs again at the thought of it. I hear him wash his hands and he's opening the door, I just want to pee and go to bed as fast as I can. In my hastiness I start walking in as he's walking out, again he's using his hands to cover his cock so he turns to side to let me walk in, I turn to the side too. Its a tad too close and he puts his his on my shoulder as we pass. His uncovered cock crazed across my ass as we pass. I feel it through my t-shirt. He's touching me, he's touching my shoulder. Its so strange but feels so nice. I hurry inside the bathroom, I don't look back to see if he has a similar reaction to me. I stand which my hands on the sink, bent over, trying to breath. My body feels like its on fire all over, this is what lust feels like, what needing someone feels like, what wanting to be touched and kissed and fucked feels like. Its overwhelming and I've built up more need within my body. I need something inside me, I put the toilet seat down and I sit on it, I pull one leg up onto the toilet seat so my legs are spread and I have clear access to make myself come once more. My pussy is so wet and so ready that my fingers slide right inside me no problem, two fingers in and out, in and out, in and out. Its so wet you can hear it and I don't plan on embarrassing myself again tonight so I put my other hand over my mouth. I finger my pussy until I cant take it anymore and I come silently.

I wake up the next morning after having the best sleep of my life. I needed that, even if he heard, I needed it. When I go into the kitchen he's already there, he's dressed in his dry clean clothes, I'm instantly disappointed. Not because he's dressed, but because he might have decided to leave. Maybe last night has him wanting to run back out into what's left of the world but to my surprise he's made me tea. He's boiled water and made me tea. No one has done anything for me in years. I'm taken aback by how it makes me feel. An act of care. It makes me feel wonderful, and sad that I've had no one to do this for me for so many years. Being taken care of..even a small act such as this, it makes me a little emotional.

"You made me tea?" I say

"The least I can do" he tells me "I'd like to do more if you let me"

I look at him and wonder what he means, I raise my eyebrows for him to elaborate

"Id like to help you while I'm here, I can get wood for the fire or help with cooking or whatever you need"

"oh..."

I think about it for a second, he hands me the cup of tea while i think it over, our fingers touch but this time I don't pull away. I want to enjoy it for however long I can. He'll be gone soon and I'll be back to being alone. Our eyes meet as our fingers pull away and he smiles, I immediately smile back. Its hard not to. Great smile.

"I guess you can help me get some firewood, a lot of the close by areas are empty so we may have to walk a bit, is that okay?"

"Yes" he says "My feet feel much better, and I slept very very well last night"

He's looking at me in a knowing way, did he have a great sleep for the same reason I did? I'm not sure so I smile shyly and look at the floor.

"We can leave in a few minutes then" I say quickly and I go put on some boots.

While walking we talk about how it used to be, we talk about the jobs we used to have and our hobbies. We both had full lives that got taken away from us. We're sad a quiet when the conversation fades out, we walk a mile in silence - remembering how it used to be brings a heavy sadness. Its all gone. This is all we have now. Broken people in a broken world. Nothing makes sense. Last night made sense. Last night was pure lust, the most simple thing in the world, woman wants man. Normal and exciting and the thought is making my tummy ache. I need to stop thinking about it, tomorrow he'll be gone and I'll never see him again.

"Just over there" I say, breaking the long silence.

He nods. He was deep in thought too.

The area is tough to get through, lots of wet grass from the rain. Its slippery and dirty and we'll both need a shower by time we get back. I explain that if we see anyone we don't engage, we hide until they're gone. He nods firmly. "I understand" he says.

We make our way through the worst of it and start gathering what we can, I have bags in my backpack so we can bag up as much as we can to last a few days. He's good, he gathers lots, he doesn't make too much noise, he's useful. He puts his hand on his lower back twice and grimaces as he does it.

"Everything okay? are you injured"

"No, no. The sofa is wonderful, don't get me wrong I'm very grateful but its not so good for the back" he laughs as he says this

All i can think is he's going to be even worse leaving me cause two nights on that sofa isn't going to help. I'm deep in thought about this when I slip on a moss slicken rock. I hit the ground hard, the wind gets knocked out of me. He rushes to my side immediately.

"Oh god are you okay? Are you hurt?" he touching my leg, making sure I have no injuries.

"I'm okay" I get my breath back "can you can help me up please?"

"Oh yeah of course" and he's already getting in position

Just as he goes to left me up his foot hits a mossy rock too and he lands right on top of me. We both instantly laugh, his head is buried into my shoulder and he's laughing, what a beautiful laugh he has. His breath is hot on my neck, I want him to kiss my neck so badly - its all I can think about. He pulls his head back to look at me for just a second or two, I'm looking into his eyes as our laughs fade out. He has a look in his eyes, it looks like hunger. His eyes move and he's looking at my lips. I don't realise but I'm holding my breath, waiting for the moment to pass or something to happen. I swear for a moment I can feel his cock hardening against my thigh.

"Sorry I'm crushing you, let me get you up" oh, maybe it wasn't hunger, maybe I'm just being silly.

"Yes please" I say, as I'm sobering up from the moment.

We get home and he puts all the bags of wood into my shed to keep dry. Should last a week or two, less trips out for me, safer. I thank him for helping and start making some food. I had some fish I had caught and some beans. Its not much but no one has much these days. I'll need to make more bread tomorrow. Bread for one. The thought makes me sad, its only been twenty four hours of having him here and already I prefer it this way. I want someone to take care of, and someone to take care of me. I will have a good evening with him and send him off happy tomorrow.

While we eat we talk about our families, he asks about how I live, I explain how I source and grow food, how keeping to myself means I've been safe.

"But aren't you lonely?" he asks. I think about it for a moment before answering.