A Thrill Ride

All day Monday I was next to useless. I failed miserably distracting myself at work and had such an unproductive day I was lucky no one noticed. I was ready and waiting about twenty minutes before Jake was due to arrive. I hate myself for it, but I made an effort. If this was our last moment, I wanted to make sure he regretted it. I wanted him to hurt too. My mind had wandered earlier to which of his friends I could try and revenge fuck that would hurt him the most. I'd daydreamed over meeting a really fit guy online and parading him on our nights out making sure I tell the girls loudly how huge his cock is. Then I'd feel gut-wrenchingly sad because, despite it all, I didn't want any of those scenarios coming true, the one scenario I wanted I wasn't going to get. I wanted Tom to be wrong.

My heart was racing once it got closer to the time Jake had said he'd be here. He was extremely punctual and sure enough, my doorbell chimed bang on 7 p.m. I opened the door feeling sick to my stomach and tried my best to hide it. Jake came in all smiles and kisses. He'd bought me flowers and wine. Not petrol station ones either looked like he'd been to Waitrose, that's proper guilt there. Once I'd taken the guilt gifts off him and made the necessary nods of appreciation, he hugged me and then kissed me passionately. For a brief moment, my nerves untangled, and I felt ever so slightly better. It was fleeting and all my emotions bubbled up at once when we stopped kissing. Jake was waffling on about the weekend I think, I'm not sure I wasn't listening.

'What's been going on between you and Heather?' I blurted out at one hundred miles an hour interrupting him. There was no point in pleasantries, I had already waited too long for answers.

He looked confused and a bit worried.

His mouth opened but no words came out.

He sat down.

I sat down by him.

'Are you trying to work out what story to tell me? I don't want a story I just want the truth, Jake.' I tried to keep my voice calm, it wasn't working.

'Why are you asking?' he said, I noted he couldn't look at me.

'Tom saw you.'

'Shit.'

He looked mortified and I felt a stronger wave of sickness. My last hope gone. Tom wasn't mistaken.

'Look at me,' I asked. My voice caught on the tears that had been threatening since Saturday. I choked them back, I didn't want Jake to see me cry over him.

Jake turned where he sat so we were facing each other.

'What did Tom see?' he calmly asked.

'Does that matter?'

'I guess not, no. Fuck, Vix, I'm sorry, it means nothing, she means nothing, I promise. I'm a dick a proper dick, I don't want to hurt you I'm sorry. I've never wanted to hurt you. She came on to me Friday night and I was pissed, I was flattered. I'm sorry. I really am sorry.'

'I was in the room, Jake. I was sat next to you,' a tear leaked out of the corner of my eye. I cursed it for giving any of my hurt away.

'I know,' he said solemnly.

'You had us both under the table.'

He bowed his head, with shame I hoped before he started to babble.

'It was all you though, I didn't ignore you, it felt better with you, under the table, your touch feels better than hers. There's nothing between us it was just ego. Two women at the same time. I'm a stupid bloke, Vix, it felt good having my ego massaged it - '

'And your cock?' I interrupted.

'Only you've touched my cock.'

'Oh, I am privileged.'

'Don't be like that.'

'I don't know how to be yet, I'm still waiting for the whole story.'

'There isn't much to say, she means nothing I promise it was a stupid mistake.'

'How many times has it been a mistake?'

'Before Friday, just the once I promise.'

He looked straight at me as he said this, I saw no sign he was lying. I started to relax a little.

'It was Christmas.'

And I was instantly tense again. How many waves of sickness could rush through me before I actually vomited?

'While I was away?' I asked.

He nodded.

We were getting on so well then, we had got closer. Why then? Why ever? I had been gutted to miss that night out. One of the downfalls of moving away and coming from a large family, I have to do my duty once a year and miss out on that period between Christmas and New Year where the pubs are full and everyone's off work together, relaxed and happy.

'You knew I wanted to be there, you knew I was upset I couldn't come home early.'

'I know. I was pissed off you weren't there. I missed you. You had that family do. I should have been there with you. I felt a dick for not being with you. I was pissed off with myself and pissed off at you and I know that's wrong, it wasn't your fault but...'

'So much so you came on to my friend?'

'She's my friend too and it wasn't like that.'

'What was it like, Jake?'

'Honestly, I was in a dark place Christmas, I've been such a prick, I'm lucky you put up with me, I kind of feel you should have kicked me to the curb by now. I'm lucky you haven't. I could have gone with you to your parents I was just being stubborn. I wanted us to spend Christmas here, just us. I was pissed off, at myself more than you and Heather was just there, flirting with me. The guys were egging me on, but I didn't need persuading, it felt good. No one else in our group has anything going on and I had two of you...'

'Ego much?'

'I know, I know. Look nothing happened, it could have done but I stopped it, I couldn't do it. I couldn't do that to you, I woke up. I realised. I told her no.'

'At what point did you tell her no?'

Jake sighed.

This was hard for him I could tell, opening up. talking, owning his actions, taking responsibility for being the complete and utter jerk that he is. Why was my heart melting and breaking at the same time? I wanted to hold him as he spoke and I wanted to slap him while I was there. I didn't move, I let him talk.

'We'd all gone back to Ellis's, she was all over me. I thought it would stay just flirting, I was enjoying the attention, but I didn't plan on pushing it. She cornered me upstairs, dragged me in one of the bedrooms...'

There was so much bile in my throat right now I don't know how my body was holding it back. My chest felt like it had been hammered in.

'Oh shit, I'm sorry. I feel shit, I shouldn't be hurting you like this. Fucking hell. I'm such a dick. You deserve better than me, Vix.'

'I know I do,' I smiled and as I did a couple of tears escaped my eyes again. Jake moved toward me. 'No!' I said sternly and instinctively put my hands up in front of me. Jake sat back down. 'Tell me everything. What did you do, you and Heather?'

'We just kissed, Vix, I promise. Nothing else.'

He had kissed her. It had taken months of flirting before he kissed me. One night and she'd got more than I got in months. Was it just the one night? Was he telling me the truth?

'Just the one kiss?' I asked.

'I promise we kissed for a bit, she thought it was leading somewhere but I couldn't do it. I woke up. I realised what I was doing and I stopped it.'

'What did you say? You obviously didn't tell her about me.'

'I told her not here if we were going to take it further, I'd want to do it properly.'

He looked shamefaced as he said this. It hurt to hear.

'And when were you planning on doing it properly, while we were away is that why you wouldn't share a room with me?'

Jake was already defending himself before I'd finished speaking. 'No, Vix, I didn't plan on ever sleeping with her it was just words, I didn't want to hurt her. I made up something quick on the spot because no one knows about you and they should, everyone should know then I wouldn't be in this situation. I've led Heather on now and that's not fair either. I'm a cunt, I'm not a nice guy. You both deserve better. I should be on my own, I don't know how to do this. I'm shit at emotions and stuff.' He put his head between his hands that were clenched tight into fists and mumbled something else into his chest that I couldn't make out.

I think I believed him. Jake was many things, an actor he was not. He seemed genuine, he seemed hurt, he seemed remorseful and he'd talked, openly. That had to come from the heart.

We sat silent for a moment. I realised I now had huge silent tears falling down my cheeks. I looked at the man I loved in front of me. All I wanted at that moment was to hold each other.

I edged closer to him until I could touch his hands. I wrapped my hands over his fists and lowered my head to touch his.

'Do I know everything? Three months, Jake, it's a long time for nothing else to have happened. No texts? What about this weekend? Did you sneak off with Heather like you did me? Were you playing us off against each other all weekend?' My voice squeaked as I spoke, my tears not so silent anymore. They fell into his hair.

'She has text me a couple of times, but I've not let them lead anywhere, I've kept it friendly and I've kept my distance. I thought she'd got the message I wasn't interested. I promise, Vix, you know everything. I tried to stop it at the weekend but she was relentless, I gave in, I shouldn't have I know but I'm a bloke and I had the two of you and I'm not gonna lie it turned me on, the idea of having you both. But then I felt so shit. It was you I kissed goodnight, Vix. It was you I wanted to go to bed with.'

'Tom saw you at the toilets in the pub.'

'We were flirting in the pub, but nothing happened. I didn't kiss Heather, I swear. She pecked me on the cheek as I came out of the toilets and we touched each other a bit but it was nothing more. I felt guilty next day, I didn't sleep well knowing I'd led Heather on again and it's you I wanted, you should have been with me. If I wasn't such a cock you would have been. On Saturday. I kept my distance, I was a coward again. Ignoring her rather than telling her the truth. But I just wanted you. I only want you. It's all you. I promise. I'll tell her. We'll tell her.'

We were looking at each other now holding hands tight. My eyes were still leaking, I felt bruised but lighter. I believed him. I felt closer to him. This was what we did, this is what brought us closer every time, getting close to breaking up and him winning me back. I'll be back here again, I know I will. I should walk. I shouldn't forgive him. I have the perfect excuse to get rid, to move on to free myself to step off the roller coaster.

'I'll understand if you can't forgive me. I'll go if you want me to go. This isn't how I wanted this night to go.'

'How did you want it to go?'

'I've missed you so much even being with you at the weekend. I know I'm a fool. I meant every word. If you still want me, I'll tell everyone. I wanted to romance you, open the wine, talk, kiss, cuddle. I wanted to take you to bed and make love to you properly, loudly not secretly. I thought we could plan what we'll say and to who and when over a glass of wine or two. I bought your favourite...'

'I noticed.' I let a small smile creep across my lips. 'I'd have preferred that night.'

'We can still get some of it back. If you want to.'

'I want to.'

He smiled and exhaled, 'Are you OK? Are we OK?'

'I'm bruised, my heart's taken a bit of a beating, I'm not sure I fully trust you anymore and I don't know how that will affect us but I'm willing to see, to try if you are. But no more secrets, we tell people...'

'I'm so sorry I hurt you, I'll make it up to you I promise, we'll tell everyone, anyone that will listen. It's only you, Vix, I can't bear the thought of losing you.'

We edged closer until our lips grazed. We kissed cautiously at first, slowly then fell into a breathless, hungry, fast kiss. We couldn't kiss each other hard enough. Couldn't get our tongues enough in each other's mouths. We kissed and pawed at each other adjusting our positions to get closer. He fondled my breasts, I hadn't put a bra on, my nipples were like bullets pushing against the fabric of my dress. He ran his thumbs over them and rubbed. His touch felt so good if I was trying to pretend to be mad at him my nipples would have given me away. I wasn't pretending, my body at least had forgiven him, my heart and mind might need a minute to catch up. I tugged at his t-shirt and pulled it over his head, then undid his jeans. He tore himself away from my nipples for a moment to stand out of his jeans, shorts and finally socks. Naked Jake and fully clothed me. Once he sat back down, I straddled his lap, my figure-hugging dress hitched up around my hips. His hard cock slid up between my dress and stroked over the satin of my knickers. I moved my hips, so my pussy stroked along his length a few times then pushed down firm against his body, pinning his cock between us as we kissed again.

'Did you put this on to add to my torture?' Jake asked as his hands slid my dress up over my bum.

'Maybe,' I teased. I knew what effect this dress had on him.

'You look fucking hot and you know it. I need you out of it though.'

I knelt up and put my arms in the air. He slid the dress off me. He stroked and squeezed my bum as he kissed my stomach. I ran my fingers through his hair. His fingers wrapped around the rim of my knickers, he moved his kisses down over my mound as he pulled my knickers down. I lifted my knees one at a time for Jake to remove them. He pulled me firmly by my bum and pulled me into his face. I was wet and eager for his tongue. He held me firm as he licked and kissed my lips first, then my clit. I held his head firm as he licked and sucked. Fuck he felt too good. He always felt too good.

I enjoyed the attention of his tongue for a while before pulling away. I needed to get closer to him, I need connection, I needed him inside me. His hands found my tits instantly as I lowered my body, his lips followed them. I straddled his lap and sat down over his cock, I savoured every moment as I lowered my hips slowly, letting his cock push inch by inch gradually filling me. He felt good inside me, his tongue was working magic on my nipples. I resisted the temptation to ride him hard and fast and instead relish in our connection. Take our time. I lifted Jake's face, guiding it with a finger under his chin. We kissed briefly before locking eyes as we wrapped our arms around each other and held each other tight. I rode his cock, slowly, deliberately. We focussed just on each other, eyes staring intently our breath heavy and in time.

My mind threw me an image that I had been trying to ignore since Saturday. In this moment, it felt right to focus on it.

'It turns me on thinking about you having us both.' I confessed. Because ashamedly it did. On more than one occasion this last couple of days my mind had strayed to the table, his hands running up both of our thighs and the thought made me as wet as it had made me feel sick.

'Seriously?'

'Yes. I like the idea of sitting at a table, your hands on both of our thighs, sliding higher and higher under our skirts.'

'I wish you'd have had a skirt on Friday, I wanted to feel you wet through your knickers.'

'You feel both of us. You rub your fingers over both of our pussy's till we're both dripping for you.'

We often did the dirty talk in bed. Or had phone sex, we'd had quite a lot of phone sex when we couldn't get time to ourselves.

'I'll slide my fingers inside both of your knickers and push my fingers inside you both, feel how wet you both are for me.'

'Your fingers simultaneously part each of our lips. You make us both moan in unison as you start to play with our clits.'

'Fuck, Vix, I want to make you both come at the same time.'

'You do, you keep fingering both of our clits, you have us both moaning at the table, gripping it till we both come together, screaming your name.'

'Then what?'

'Then you move your chair back a bit. We slide our hands over your rock hard cock as we take turns kissing you.'

Jake moaned and gripped my bum firmer. I ground my hips harder rubbing my clit against his body.

'Then we kiss each other as you undo your jeans and take out your cock. We drop to our knees and start to kiss pushing your cock between our mouths. We both take turns sucking your cock and caressing your balls...Jake make me come, I need you to make me come.' My clit ached, I ached. I couldn't remember the last time I'd needed to come with such urgency.

'Lie back,' he instructed.

I did as he asked. He knelt forward and spread my legs, both hands on my thighs. The first lick of his tongue quelled the ache that had built in my pussy. I groaned with relief.

'Keep talking,' he said between a long lick and a sharp suck of my clit.

'Ah, we stop sucking your cock and you guide me to my feet. Heather stays on her knees. You bend me over the table. She starts to kiss my pussy as you push your cock inside me. You fuck me hard and fast as she sucks my clit. Oh shit, Jake, fuck...you're fucking me hard, I'm going to come, Heather's going to make me come, I try and hold off so we can come together...Shit, oh, ah...oh...she makes me come just before you start to come inside me, you fill me a bit then pull out and slide across my sensitive clit. The rest of your load spurts on Heather's face...' I rushed out those last few words, mostly as breathless pants as I came hard bucking my hips up into Jake's face. He quickly replaced his tongue with his cock and started to fuck me.

'Oh, shit babe I can feel that. That turns me on so much, I fucking just want to come so bad. I'm sorry, this isn't going to...and Jake came what felt like buckets inside me. He held me tight as he unloaded spurt after spurt. I felt him trembling on top of me. I held him in my arms.

'Jesus,' he said after a long moment.

We both giggled and gasped.

'I wish we'd done that Friday.'

'With an audience? That's one way of coming out.'

We laughed.

'I can't believe how much that turned me on. I've gone from hating her and you together to coming really hard over the thought of you both.' I said.

'I love how hard you just came, I love making you come like that. I want to watch Heather make you come. Have you always wanted to be with another woman, why have we not talked about this before?'

'Because I haven't caught you trying to shag another one before.'

Jake hung his head. I carried on talking.

'No, I haven't really. I've had more fantasies about two men.'

He raised an eyebrow, 'Tell me more about that.'

'I imagine standing between two guys, feeling that energy between us all, being sandwiched in the middle of it. Them both taking turns to kiss me, undress me. Then taking turns to kiss me, finger me, suck my tits. Sharing my pussy, two tongues, one inside and one on my clit. One eating my pussy and one sucking my nipples. I want to suck both of their cocks, wank them both at the same time, feel two cocks inside me. As much as I want their attention on me, I want to play with two cocks, have two lots of spunk covering me, filling me, being licked out of me.'

I could feel Jake's cock growing inside of me. He was slowly rocking his hips back and forth as he listened to me.

'You like the idea too I see.'

'You know I love you talking dirty to me.'

'Have you thought about it much?'

'A little I guess, more two women, I'll watch two women porn more than two guys and a girl, but I have watched stuff. I've liked the idea of sharing a girl with a mate like. Guess I've often thought about that, thinking about it.'

We were slowly screwing now, Jake was fully erect again.

'And would you kiss a guy.'

'I've never thought that far. My initial reaction is no way, but I guess, if you kiss a girl it's fair and it's part of it isn't it. Sex isn't right without kissing. Would you want me to kiss another guy?'

'I love the idea of watching two guys kissing, touching each other in front of me. Hard cocks pushing together so I can wank them both while they kiss. Would you be OK with that?'