I thought I was over you. I thought you had faded from my memories. I thought I had moved on. But it snuck up on me in such a strange way.
I was out of town for work, presenting at a conference, and yes, in your home town. OK, this is a major metropolitan city: lots of things to do here; interesting places to go; important colleagues to see. We had been "broken up" for 4 months. When I accepted the speaking engagement, we were just starting up. I thought it would be fun to go together. I brought it up, but you kind of let it slide, like going to a conference together would be unheard of. Come on, we're both in the same field. You could just as easily have been here for work, and accompanying me wouldn't even look obvious. Sharing a room might not be a good idea, but if we stayed in a hotel down the street and not at the conference center, no one would have been the wiser.
Now none of that matters as we are no longer "together," although I'm not so sure we ever were "together." Yes, we had a whole lot of great sex. Yes, we took some fun weekend trips. But as you so often reminded me, we were never really "together."
So here I am at a medical conference in your home town, and you are back where we live. We don't see each other anymore. We don't even speak. Luckily after your residency we ended up at different hospitals, in different departments, and specializing in different things. There is some overlap, and some of your colleagues are here, but you aren't. Don't worry, Jake, they still don't know we were together.
I decided to drive as I wanted the freedom to get out and about. A couple of our colleagues took the train, and one actually flew. Four day professional conferences are about two days too long as far as I am concerned. But when someone offers to pay you, host you, and give you continuing medical education credits for free, you take it.
I drove up after my shift on Tuesday. I hit rush hour on the way out of town, and on the way into the event. It took 5 hours. I might as well have flown. By the time I got to the hotel, it was well after midnight. I checked in, went to the complimentary room with the big king size bed, and the huge Jacuzzi tub, and just couldn't unwind. Finally, around 130, I went to the bar for last call. Most folks seemed to be on the way out, but one guy was at the bar. I took a spot a couple of seats down. When I checked him out from the side, I vaguely recognized him, but couldn't place him. After we talked for awhile, I realized he was your roommate from the first two years of medical school. I didn't let on that I knew this, or that I had seen the two of you talking at a conference last year. Suddenly, I felt the need to be with someone. The loneliness of you and me being over just washed over me. I kind of lost track of the conversation. Joshua asked me if I was ok. I told him I was just tired, but reached over and took his hand when I said it. I asked him to walk me to my room. When we got to the door, I asked him in for a nightcap. This was kind of a ridiculous proposition as we had just shut the bar down, and I wasn't even sure if I had any booze in my room, but he is a man, and understood completely what I meant. Suddenly I could communicate with a man again, even if was only about sex.