Susy Wendall took the small piece of paper out of her jean pocket. She looked up at the building and saw that the address matched the address on the piece of paper. Big Robbie's Magic Healing. What kind of business was this supposed to be.
She felt awkward and silly coming to a place called Big Robbie's Magic Healing. This was the place Charlie Sanders, an older black man and close friend, told her to visit. The old man guaranteed her life would change for the better. She doubted it highly, but at this point she was desperate. Nothing at all worked. Not even exercise, the number one killer of depression. She opened the door and walked in.
The place was big and empty. There was a desk in the back of the of the giant room and a partly open door to the right of right of it. There were also a few plants scattered around the room. The walls were bare. They seemed recently painted and looked very white.
"Hello," Susy called out to the empty room. "Is anyone here?"
There was no response. She turned back to the door and saw the Sorry, We're Closed sign in the window. Although that was her impression standing inside. Outside it had clearly said Open For Your Needs. Besides, if the place were closed, why would the owner leave the door open?
She took a few steps closer to the desk. The room was thirty feet long east to west, about forty feet north to south and maybe thirty feet from the floor to the ceiling. Susy was fifteen feet from the desk when she spoke again. "Anybody here?"
Her heart was pounding now. Somebody was behind that closed door, but who? Could he be dead. The thought made her heart pound. The last thing she needed was to deal with another death. If she had to deal with another one, she'd take her own life. She found her hands and legs shaking. Her mouth was dry and eyes were blinking uncontrollably. The situation seemed bad.
"Anybody here," she said again, but her voice was so weak she could barely hear it herself.
How ironic, she thought. Charlie Sanders sends her to see this Robbie-guy to change her life for the better, and finding his mangled body behind the closed door would cause her to kill herself. Unknowingly, the kind old black man had sent her to her death. Her suicide.
The door opened. A man of average height and good looks stepped behind his desk. His hair was dark brown. He seemed strong and athletic from afar. He wore a black business suit. Susy found his odd appearance both mysterious and magical. Perhaps this man could save her, using some unknown magic potion. He seemed the type. A magician. A voodoo priest, perhaps.
Susy approached the strange man slowly. Getting a closer look, she noticed he was much cuter than she had originally thought. His eyes were green and determined. His face looked sensitive and at the same time bold and daring. When he smiled she saw perfect white teeth. She was suddenly feeling a little nervous. She was never good with first impressions, not with her depression.
"Hello, ma'am," he said. "How can I help you?"
"A friend of mine sent me," she said. "Charlie Sanders?"
"Yes, yes. I've been expecting you. Susy Wendall I presume."
"Yes. How did you know my name?"
"Charlie told me."
Of course. How else could he know. Susy felt she could not trust her own fragile mind. Depression caused her to say stupid things, ask questions that were so obvious. She hated herself for acting so stupid, for looking so pathetic. Worst of all, she felt ugly standing this close to a man so damn handsome. She could feel herself blushing.
"Robbie Thomas," he said. "Glad to meet you." He extended his hand. They shook. "You have very soft hands," he complemented after.
"Thanks," she said weakly. She was transfixed on his green eyes. Looking into them she found no ending. She could into them forever and never stop falling. They so beautiful. The most astonishing set of eyes she'd ever looked upon.
"What troubles you?" he asked.
"Depression," she said simply.
"And you've come to me to rid of it."
"Well...I was hoping. I've tried everything else. Nothing's worked though."
"You'll try nothing else. I guarantee it. When you leave here, depression will never hold you down again."
He moved away from his desk and walked about ten feet to the nearest plant. He took three leaves from this plant. To Susy's astonishment, three new leaves grew where Robbie had picked.
He was magician, she decided. She could feel a tingle of hope spreading through her body. However she didn't let it overwhelm her. Depression had a way of strangling everything you got attached too. Especially hope.
"Follow me," Robbie said. "Come now."
He opened the door and she followed him. As soon as she entered the room he closed the door behind him.
"What if someone comes?"
"No one will come," he said. "You're my first customer in a week."
The word customer brought her back into reality. "I don't have much money. My depression...well I don't like being around people all that much. I'll pay you, but I don't think I'll have enough. You see, I don't pay rent for my apartment, Charlie understands the situation I'm in and he let's me live there for free."
"Charlie has paid for this," he said.
Now she felt guilty. This poor old man was the only person in the world who cared for her enough to help her through this life. A lump of sadness caught in her throat.
A few feet from Susy, Robbie was chopping the three leaves into small pieces. He placed them in a cup. He walked over to a stove at the end of the room and took a pot from the burner. He came back with the pot. "This will help you relax," he said. He poured whatever was in the pot in the cup of leaves. The pot was filled with an orange liquid.
He took a spoon from his left and stirred for a minute. Steam came out of the cup.
"What is that?" she asked.
"It has no name. But it will relax." He came to her and handed her the cup.
"Is it safe." He nodded with approval. She took a small sip and looked around the room. Besides the stove and table where he prepared the drink, this room was as empty as the other room. There was a wooden chair and leather couch to her left though. She finished the rest of the weird drink.
He motioned for Susy to follow him. He walked to the area where the chair and couch were set up. He smiled at her and offered her a seat at the couch. She accepted and sat down.
"So tell me why you are so depressed," he said as he took a seat at the wooden chair.
Susy felt outraged by the question. So many of her lovers had asked the same question, knowing damn well she didn't know the answer. What next? Was he going to tell her to stop being so fucking depressed? It's a beautiful world, live a little. That he would say next. She was going to tell him she didn't know why in her meanest voice because damn it, depression allowed a person to mean, but instead she found she could tell him. She did now realize why she was depressed. What the hell was in that drink? What were them leaves?
"Well," she began slowly. "I guess it all began when I was seven. My father and I were walking down the street in the middle of the night and a man came from a dark alley. He demanded my dad's wallet, but my dad was a tough guy. Big man. Very strong. He tried to knock the guy's lights out. I saw all so clearly though. My dad was strong, but he wasn't Superman. The man pulled out a gun and shot my father point black in the head. I saw my dad's head explode." Susy was crying by then. "He ran away. I watched the man run away right after he took the wallet from my dad's pocket. I never saw a face. He was wearing a mask."
She stopped because tears were clouding her eyes. Her throat felt incapable of allowing words a passage. But she spoke. The drink helped her find away.
"Two months later my mother was shot and killed. She just went to the butcher shop on the wrong day and wrong time. The butcher's wife had recently left him. He hated the world. My mother looked too much like his wife, I guess. He pulled out a gun and shot her three times while she was ordering a pound of ham. After that I had no parents and I had seen both of them die. I was sent to live with my aunt and uncle. They had three kids. But I'll tell you, it's like I'm cursed. I can't believe it as I think about it now. As my uncle is driving me to my new home, we notice smoke coming from the distance. Black smoke. It looked evil. He said it looked as if it may be his house, so he took off. He roared down the road doing a hundred miles an hour. Turns out, it was his house. But none of his family was viewing the fire with the crowd. Then he saw his daughter, my cousin, screaming from her window. She was only five years old. My uncle ran into the house, telling me to stay where the hell I was. I saw him grab my cousin. Then he left. I saw them vanish together from the window. The next thing I knew, the roof caved in. My uncle died too and so did the rest of them."
Susy was crying now. She just couldn't help it.
"Seven deaths in less than three months. It was not fair at all. Finally I went to live with my grandparents. They died too, but later on. My grampa died when I was fifteen. Brain cancer. My gramma died when I was eighteen and living on my own. She hung herself. She left a note. She said loneliness too much for her to handle. I felt...I feel it is my fault she killed herself. It had to be. She wouldn't be lonely if I were there..."
"Calm down," Robbie said. "You have released your soul from these tragedies. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
"The pain is gone."
"Yes."
Susy found that they were gone. Though she still could remember each tragedy in a morbid detail, the pain was no longer as strong. She felt she could deal with them.
"What else?" Robbie asked.
"Well I never had much success with men. I have tried my best, but being depressed all the time isn't exactly a blessing when you're trying to love someone. And before that men were so mean to me. When I was fifteen my boyfriend dumped me because I wouldn't perform oral sex in a bathroom at this party.
"Did you want too?"
She was silent. For a moment she didn't know what to say. She wanted to say none of your business. Finally she said, "A kind of wanted too."
"Why not than?"
"I don't know. I feared he would leave me if I did do it. Which he probably would of, but since I didn't do it, he left me anyway. Later on in my college days, I had sex with men, but I just would not get into it. I couldn't. Sex destroys me on a mental level. I'm afraid I might fall in love. I'm afraid I'll get hurt. I'm afraid that if I do get married my husband will go blown away by some damn robber with a mask."
Susy smiled at Robbie. Telling this stranger all this made her feel weird. She'd never told anyone this much about her. His eyes were looking into her own.
"Do you love anyone currently?" he asked.
"I'm not capable."
"You are now. Forget about your troubles. Okay?"
"Okay."
"Are they forgotten?
"Yes."
"Can you perform oral sex now? If you wanted too? If you really wanted too?"
