I stared at him as he sat across the room deep in conversation with his friends. I wondered if he could feel me watching him, I felt like my eyes were literally glued on their conversation. This was getting out of control. I found him so attractive at that moment I would have done anything he wanted, all he had to do was ask. Of course he never did. I did a good job of pretending. I didn't really want to leave my boyfriend. I loved him with all of my heart. But there was something about Leo that just got to me. He made me nervous, but in a good way. It was the kind of nervous you feel around a high school crush, butterflies, light headed, the whole works. I didn't even know him. Of course I had talked with him a few times, we had exchanged witty conversation and a few long stares, but really I didn't know him at all. What was it about this guy that just made me want to jump him whenever I saw him? Was it something about wanting what you can't have? Was that it? That would make everything so much easier if it was. I never intended to hurt Jake. He treated me like I was some sort of princess, his ideal, his dream… but in my dreams I kept seeing Leo. I wondered if a harmless fling would get this feeling out of my system and I looked at Jake sitting next to me.
"Jake baby, I see someone I know over there. I'll be right back, order me another Jack and Diet?" I knew what I was about to do was dangerous but I just couldn't sit there anymore. I had to know. I walked slowly over to him. I could feel my heart beating faster as I drew closer. Jesus… what was all of this about?
"Leo!" I called as I came in closer to their table. I conjured up the biggest smile I had in my arsenal and proceeded to give him a hug. As I wrapped my arms slowly around his body I savored the way he felt in my arms. It was just occurring to me how much I wanted this to happen. I sat and joined the conversation for a few minutes. Leo and I flirted as usual, in a harmless way, I wondered sometimes how serious he was… I wanted him to be… could he be? Finally I had had enough. His closeness was distracting and I could feel my intelligent conversation waning in his presence. I had to keep up the act after all. I said my good-byes walked back over to Jake. I took my freshly ordered Jack and Diet Coke in my hands and gulped at it, wanting to stop lusting for Leo but at the same time needing to be there feeling his presence. I looked at Jake again.
He always told me that I was the most beautiful girl he had ever dated. I believed him, but I didn't see it in myself. I had always been self conscious of my full breasts. I was an early developer and my large C cups drew scrutiny from the cruel sixth grade boys. I always tried to mask their fullness, Jake told me it was to no avail however. I had always been a lanky kid so when I matured to womanhood at such a young age it changed me. I looked down at my breasts now. In the silk blouse I could faintly make out the lines of my lace bra. I wore this shirt for Jake. It was his favorite. He loved the way the unbuttoned blouse jut barely let him catch a glimpse of my cleavage. It always made me self-conscious though. I looked at Jake who was now staring at me. I cold see the love in his eyes. He was a beautiful man. Everything I could have ever wanted in a best friend and partner… and yet Leo still lurked in the back of my mind somewhere.
"You ready to take off Greenlee?" Jake asked me casually.
