It's common etiquette to avoid an alpha's gaze unless you know them very well or are encouraging courting. Unfortunately, the latter becomes a huge issue for omegas, as alphas just
love
to stare. Especially at omegas. They hone in on us, whether on purpose or not, and observe closely.
It's instinctual, if you want to ignore the predatory aspect of it - the strong looking out for the vulnerable. Betas think they understand omegas and what they need, but you can tell it's not natural to them. There's often a deep sense of resentment and assumption between beta-omega couples, a leak in the communication somewhere.
It's not impossible, of course; it just takes more effort. Sometimes, more effort is healthier than relying purely on instinct. But when I've dated betas in the past, there has always been an itching
lack
of... something. Like we are just going through the motions.
But the moment I lock eyes with Aiden, watch the pupil swallow up the deep blue, I know this is it. It's him. His gaze reaches, like a sigh of
there you are, I've been waiting for you
, into me, and I melt easily for him.
I don't know what he sees, how deep he can dig into me with one look, but I don't put up any semblance of a fight. I let him pry me open and wring me out until I notice his breaths growing heavier.
Then, without breaking his stare, I let my fingertips trace the features of his face. Cheekbone. Jaw. Lower lip. This last touch has him squeezing his eyes shut and pressing a kiss into my open palm, releasing me at last.
My chest slumps from the sudden loss of his gaze, deflated but warm and sweet.
"Madison," He says, voice hoarse, "You're fucking beautiful."
I bite my lip to stop the smile, studying the wrinkles and contours of his pained expression, "Isn't that what I'm supposed to say to you?"
His eyes flash open again, and I hear his laughter in the way they twinkle, "Why?"
"Because you're beautiful," I tell him honestly.
I think I must imagine his ears turning pink. I find another mole just below the bow of his lower lip, and another just on the corner of his mouth. I want to kiss every one of them. I start with the former, then the one in his eyebrow, then against the bridge of his nose.
He finds this incredibly amusing but grows restless before I can finish and presses his weight into me until I'm pinned beneath him.
He's fully clothed, wearing sweatpants and a black t-shirt, but the fabric feels electric against my skin. I rub my calves along the muscles in his thighs, the dip of his knee, the hard pillars of tendon and bone. My body feels soft and squishy compared to his, like pudding with a velvet casing.
I swell my lungs with air to press my breasts against the solid planes of his chest, and he slips a wrist beneath me, keeping me a little arched - holding me open.
"Madison," he says, and my stomach flutters with the promise of it.
I extend my chin upward to kiss him, but he dips backward, and I groan.
He laughs and I squint up at him, "If you say 'soon' again, I'm going to-"
He shuts me up with the hot press of his mouth against mine, my body responding from a place deep inside me, bulging out against my skin from the inside. Aiden's knee presses between my thighs, and he exhales suddenly, like he's just had the wind pushed out of him. "Fuck," he breathes, "You're already so wet for me."
I nod; desperate, hot, sweating, and an all-around mess for this man. I slip my hands beneath his shirt and press the pads of my fingers against the flesh there. He inhales sharply, which I take as encouragement to push the cotton to bunch up below his armpits. His chest is warm and covered with fine, silky hair.
Before I can peek down at his torso, he's trailing a line of soft kisses down my cheek, past the hinge of my jaw, and down to my nape.
It's like my entire nervous system seizes up, and I cry out. All the heat in my body becomes concentrated in this one area; my mating gland feeling as though it will burst from the pressure. I've never had someone kiss me there while I've been in heat - the sensation is mind-bending, but somehow not enough.
"Please," I hear myself plead, and I think I've been whimpering that word over and over for a while now, "please, Aiden,"
He presses the flat of his tongue against the hollow of my collarbone and licks upward slowly, the pressure hard and cruel. I squirm beneath him, my mind swimming and feverish.
Ideas surface behind my eyelids, coming from a place deep inside me, a non-conscious place embedded in my DNA. They are of him holding me down, wedged deep inside of me, his teeth buried in my neck, his knot plugging me full of his come. His scent, somehow inside me forever, something I carry with me wherever I go. I see his hands stroking my stomach, round with our child.
Fuck
.
I'm so fucked. I'm so gone.
There's a pause from him, his lips parted and resting against the thin layer of skin that separates us from forever. A wave of panic crashes through me.
Why isn't he biting me? Does he not want me?
"Aiden?" I ask, and my voice sounds unrecognisable. Reedy and thin.
"Mmm," he hums against my skin, seeming to savour the moments before he replies. "Baby," he says at last, and I soften against him more, somehow. "I want you to be sure."
"I'm sure," I tell him immediately, which earns half a laugh from him. I scowl at the ceiling and bare my throat to him further, trying to prove my point. He makes a sound of approval and runs his nose up to my jaw, inhaling deeply. I can't even imagine what I smell like right now.
"You're perfect, Madison," he tells me quietly, and the overwhelming ball of emotions gets stuck in my windpipe, like when you swallow water the wrong way. "I wanted to know you before you let me look into you."
I nod, a tear suddenly slipping from the corner of one eye. It would have been so easy for him to learn everything just by getting me to meet his eyes from the start, but he wanted to wait. He didn't want to violate my privacy and take too much too soon. He wanted to court me properly, for us to fall for each other outside of our more animal instincts.
"I'm sure about you," he confesses, sounding shy again, and it has a sob of laughter breaking free from my chest. He squeezes me tighter, presses a reverent kiss beneath my jaw. "I want you," He tells me, then adds, "Not just now, but... for a long time. If you'll have me."
"Yes," I reach one hand up to wind my fingers into his dark hair. It's thick and soft, the locks curling into my touch. "I want it. I
need
you, Aiden,"
With that, he doesn't hold back any longer, and time slows as he fits his teeth carefully, testing the parameters of my mating gland, and bites down.
A wave of hot, thick euphoria plunders through my body, making my cry out in earnest. My hand pulls Aiden into me, fisting his hair without the tenderness my touch had just moments before. He leans into me, his heavy body pinning me into the mattress, causing us to sink sink sink further down into the molten core of the earth.
I say his name and he moans into my throat, rocking his hips into me.
It's too much. Not enough. Immeasurable.
Too quickly, he's licking the wound, a harsh sting blending seamlessly into a ticklish pleasure. There is a burning knot of
something new
that tugs at my breastbone, reaching for him in a way my heat has never urged me to reach for someone before. It wants me to be closer, intwined, completely melded with him.
My abdomen clenches and I feel completely empty. So much that it
hurts
.
Somehow, he notices; maybe I make a pained sound that has him hushing me. "I'm going to make it better," he promises, "I'll make you feel good, Madison."
Then he pulls back to rip the shirt over his head, baring his chest to me. It's pale, like his eyelids, with dark hair dusted and trailing deliciously down before disappearing into his waistband. With him leaning back like this, I can see the darkened wet patch of fabric above his knee, where his thigh has been pressing against my mound.
My face heats at how obvious I'm being, how desperate he must know I am for him. I hate this part of me - this complete lack of control and discipline over my biology. It's humiliating.
"I'm pathetic," I laugh, wincing when I realise I've admitted it out loud.
His brow creases, "What?"
"Nothing," I chew my lip, "I'm sorry, you must think-"
"I must think what?" He asks, gentle, leaning in. His eyes search mine, genuinely curious.
A breath shudders through me, and I fight off another twinge of pain low in my belly, my body frustrated with my mind's disobedience. I can't answer him, and I look away, embarrassed.
The palm of his hand slips up under the hem of my camisole, mapping out my rib cage. My eyelids flutter at the smooth friction of his skin against mine.
"I think that you like me touching you," he whispers, suddenly right next to my ear. "I think that you want me as badly as I want you. I think you're the most fucking beautiful thing I've ever seen. Ever felt. And I've not even felt you on my knot."
I clench painfully, trying to hold back another torrent of slick. He probably feels it hot through the leg of his pants as they press against me. I say his name, pleading, hoping he'll understand.
"I think that you're finally mine," he licks his bite, the skin newly knitted together after his ministrations. His saliva will have healing qualities for me now. "I think you like being mine."
I nod, eyes squeezed shut.
"I think you're getting shy on me," he says, voice softer. He presses his lips gently against my collarbone, pushes the silk up over my belly. He says my name, and it just about guts me. "Arms up, sweetheart."
I comply, eyes still closed, and the silk drags against shoulders and finally up over my wrists. I can't look at him right now. I can't watch his reaction as he sees my chest, knowing he won't be impressed after having seen everything weeks ago. All the sex appeal is gone - the way he saw me then. Bloated and sweaty and stinking of old blood.
He wheezes a curse before I feel the blistering, wet press of his mouth against the underside of one breast, then the other.
A startled, pained sound jolts from me as my hand grips the hard bulge of a bicep. The muscles ripple beneath my fingers as he leans in, adjusts to lick teasingly over my nipple before settling in and taking it into his mouth - electric. His touch shoots through my body, hot and cold all at once.
A hand slides over to hold the mound of my other breast, perfectly moulding to it and squeezing gently.
"
