I open my eyes. 6:08 AM. 'Good morning.' I text her, like is the regime for months now. I can't wait for her to get up.
No more kissing her actually to wake her up from her sleep and she turning to go back to sleep again. Nope.
I miss her.
In fact, to a point where just seeing her in real life would be a dream come true. And I wouldn't mind if it's the only one that is.
I keep my phone on my pillow and get out of bed. I look back to her side of the bed. Empty, yet I can feel her presence in every particle, just like my life.
6:29 AM. Standing in the shower I wonder how long has it been. 10 months, I guess. Wow, you could so easily call it a break up. I don't wanna though and I'm pretty sure she doesn't wanna too. I turn the knob and hot steamy water rushes to my head. So do similar memories.
She was right here I remember, music playing in the bedroom while she was dancing in this very shower with me. How crazily did she laugh. I can still hear it along with the sound of the water against the tiles. No music though. Haven't been able to listen to any since...
7:12 AM. I straighten my collar in front of the mirror and try straightening the curve that is my smile too. It doesn't. Not anymore. The max I can do is a jaw clench.
7:30 AM. This packed cereal box tastes disgusting. So does the boring news on TV today. I can't wait for her to get up.
9:10 AM. I have all other notification sounds of my phone turned off except for her chat. Still I can't keep my mind off it. I keep looking at the screen for a pop up, maybe the sound may malfunction? Maybe the screen too?
I return my eyes and hands back to the computer in front of me. Let's code to get my mind off her. So, if this loop goes on five times and the output comes atleast six times while the counter counts every alternate alteration so maybe she's upset this morning and doesn't wanna talk?
Coding requires more thinking than actual coding. If you can think logically enough you wouldn't be writing or erasing most of the time at office. That's what they said I was good at. Yep, was.
Now I wanna write lines all day or anything else for that matter to keep my mind from thinking. Because thinking is very difficult, you can't control thoughts. Or maybe, I can't; I wouldn't know.
11:30 AM. Finally the break time. The worst part of the day. One gotta socialize. I don't socialize, rather I can't socialize.
I sit at my table while my colleagues come and sit around me. After a few bland exchanges my friend goes back to the other social animals of my office. Amidst all the loud chatter I still am concentrating on the screen of my phone. I know it's not even time for her to get up but sometimes she surprises me. I hope she does today.
12:23 PM. Back at my desk in my room. About time she got up. Any minute now.
She goes to a company that has late working hours and it starts in the evening. So basically. when she's in office I'm sleeping and when I'm working she's sleeping. That and the fact that her country is half an hour behind on the clock. When did all this happen to me? Arghh!
12:54 PM.
'Good morning cutu.' my screen lights up. My face lights up even more. My day lights up more yet. I smile.
'Hey, I miss you.' goes my reply.
'Hi, ditto.' Comes hers.
'I was waiting for you , why do you sleep so much?' I ask her.
Typing...
My heart is jumping. Did I just upset her? Why did I have to ask her that? Stupid. Stupid. Long distance relationships are tough because all the other person has is a text message to guess your mood, intention, emotion etcetera and trust me it gets very confusing. Misunderstandings are so often. I hope this is not one of that time.
'Because I wanna complete all the dreams I'm having with you, that's the only time I can hold you in my arms and kiss you all over. I can't miss on those. Yano. Muah. Muah. Muah. *blushing emojies*.'
Damn my heart. She is love personified, I tell you. Every soulmate is, and she's mine. We talk for the next one hour about love. It was my best hour so far since this morning.
She had to go then, I didn't want her too. Eventually we both had to. So, we did.
2:14 PM. Back to coding. Back to coding but happily this time. The errors are so obvious now!
4:30 PM. Pack my bag and run back home. Hanging in autos, then swinging in metros to dragging my feet the last mile I collapse on my couch.
4:44 PM. I open my eyes. Damn my neck hurts, I fell asleep on the couch. I take off my shirt and shoes and go to the kitchen. I make a mess while making coffee for myself. I remember when she used to make some for me when I came back from the office.
I sit back on my couch and pick up my phone. 18 missed calls within the last like 10 minutes. She's so hyper. Cutu. I open Whatsapp.
'Effin get your ass to the gym and stop sleeping.'
I start laughing. Damn she cares so much; I feel like a child all over again. I wanna feel so cared for always.
'That would make it one desirable ass. *winks* I reply.