It seemed like a wonderful cycle of intimacy: as we spent time together, we connected more and opened up more to each other. The more that happened, the more physically and sexually involved we got, which made us feel closer and want to open up more. When a relationship reaches that point, it is inevitable that it will continue until there are no limits, no boundaries.
There really wasn't (for me at least) any conscious considering of, "should we begin having oral sex now?" or " should we be naked together?" or "is now the time to begin having sex?" Instead, our relationship continued to experience more vulnerability and more time together and more exposing of our souls until the physical acts seemed natural and appropriate- until it would have felt wrong
not
to be progressing to another stage of physical connection.
By the time Valentine's Day arrived, I was no longer thinking of my relationship with Gina in terms of what I could get away with while Lynn was gone. Gina and my relationship had taken on a life of its own, and introducing sex to the relationship was right- almost overdue. No woman other than Lynn had known me as well as Gina did, and putting aside my history with Lynn, I would say Gina and I were much closer emotionally than I had been to Lynn in over a year.
I realized that if Lynn had returned that month, it would have felt wrong to have sex with
her.
I would have felt like I was cheating on Gina. And yet at that point Gina and I still had not had sex. But unless I was seriously misreading her, that was going to change soon.
For Valentine's Day, I reserved a table at The Caleb Tanner House- a well-reputed restaurant a half-hour from campus. It was an old mansion that had been converted into a restaurant and ball room and named after the person who had owned the house a hundred years ago. It reeked of opulence, but the owner was a friend of mine, and I was not only able to secure a good table but also a private tour of the mansion. There was a good amount of art work in the building, most of it from the owner's private collection. He was a knowledgeable art fan, which was the basis of our connection. I only told Gina to dress very nice and be ready to be picked up at 6. She had smiled, raised an eyebrow, and promised to be ready.
When the evening came, I pulled up to the parking lot of her apartment complex. I was sad and a little embarrassed that I couldn't go up to her apartment to greet her, but we were still keeping things a secret, so...
She came walking down the stairs, and I took the risk of getting out of the car to open the door for her. I would have needed to stand, anyways- I was so dazzled by her that I couldn't stay in my seat. I straightened out my black jacket and used my finger to pull my bow tie a little looser. I hated formal wear, but if that was the price of seeing Gina dressed like this, I would gladly pay it.
She wore a dark green gown that was form-fitting but not tight or slinky. It covered her shoulders up to her neck, but in the front it dipped low enough to give a hint of cleavage. The sleeves came to just past her elbows and the dress fell to mid-calf. She walked comfortably in her low heels and carried a small hand-held purse. She had styled her hair up, exposing her neck in a way that was graceful. She looked ready for a dinner with foreign dignitaries. I was glad I had gotten my car cleaned and detailed that week. I took a few seconds to take in the sight, and she indulged my appreciative stare.
"Gina...you are breathtaking. I...I am honored to be seen with you this evening."
She smiled knowingly and took the hand I offered to help her in the car. "I'm not overdressed?"
I kissed her cheek and said, "No, not at all. But you'll certainly turn some heads nonetheless."
Once she was seated, I closed her door. Beginning to worry about being seen by a student, I hurried around to my side of the car, thankful for the dark of the early evening.
*******
Gina pressed me for details on where we were going, but I evasively replied, "Somewhere nice that I don't think you've ever been before." She pushed for more, but I smiled and said, "You'll see," which elicited squeals of happy frustration and anticipation.
When we were about halfway there, I pulled over into the parking lot of an old country store that was closed for the night. I reached over to the glove compartment as Gina's eyes followed me with a questioning look. Pulling out a small, long box with a bow on top, I handed it to her. She looked at me a quizzically and said, "In a parking lot?"
"A gift for you. I'd like you to wear it to dinner."
Opening the box, her eyes got wide and she slowly lifted up a sparkling gold necklace with three emerald drops in the center.
"Gareth!" She was otherwise speechless. She held it up to her neck and said, "It's beautiful...and it matches perfectly! How did you know?"
I smiled and shrugged. I had hoped she would wear green- the emeralds matched her eyes and would look amazing on her. But just in case, I had a ruby one under the armrest and a sapphire one under my seat. Gifts for a later date, perhaps.
"Let me put it on you," I said softly, reaching out to take the necklace. She leaned closer to me, closed her eyes, and shivered when the cold metal touched her skin. When I had latched it, she ran her fingers along the gems, then suddenly leaned over and grabbed my head. She gave me a fiery kiss that got me thinking I wouldn't mind skipping dinner. When she pulled away and sat back in her seat, she said with a hint of regret, "I didn't get you anything for Valentine's Day."
"Are you kidding?
You
are the best gift, Gina. Just getting to spend a nice evening with you and seeing you in that dress is all I could ask for."
"Keep this up, and you'll see me out if it, too."
I smiled and groaned, starting the car back up. Gina put her hand on my thigh for the rest of the drive.
*******
When we pulled up to The Caleb Tanner House, driving through wrought iron and stonework gates, Gina's eyes went wide and she said, "Whoah! Are you serious?"
I smiled at having attained the desired effect. There was valet parking, of course, and my late model Toyota looked out of place among the luxury cars that were lining up in front of us. Entering the house, we were both so occupied with taking in all the beautiful décor that we hardly noticed when we had reached the maître d's stand. He acknowledged my reservation and escorted us to a candlelit table for two that was adjacent to a wall of glass overlooking the well-lit garden. There was a bottle of wine waiting for us, and the maître d' poured two glasses, saying "Compliments of the house."
"Gareth, this is...this is like something I've only seen in movies. This is amazing."
"I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy your company, Gina."
She gave me a look that showed both appreciation for the compliment and indication that she thought lines like that were a little corny.
Our meal was outstanding, as I had expected. The conversation was comfortable and didn't manifest the sexual tension I was feeling. I enjoyed knowing that there was still another surprise after the meal, one I hoped Gina would enjoy.
After we had declined dessert, my friend came to the table and introduced himself to Gina. "Good evening, I am Terrence, the owner of The Caleb Tanner house. I hope you and your husband are enjoying yourselves this evening?" Because our friendship was mostly professional, Terrence had never met Lynn and wasn't likely to, so I
might
have given him the impression that I was coming there with my wife. The fact that Gina wasn't wearing a ring didn't seem to register with him, or else he was astute enough not to draw attention to it. Nonetheless, Gina subtly put her left hand under the table and out of sight. She glanced at me, then assured Terrence that she was having a wonderful time.
"And I trust that dinner was to your satisfaction?"
"Yes, and so much more.
Please
give my compliments to the chef," she said, seeming surprisingly in her element.
"Would you like to pass those compliments along yourself? I would like to take you both on a private tour of our facilities."
Gina spun her head to look at me, and I just smiled. Taking Terrence's extended hand, she stood up and I followed them out of the dining area. Terrence led us through the kitchen and we greeted the chef. Gina praised his dishes and his crew. We moved on through locked doors and into a hallway. Terrence pointed out the artwork on the walls, noting the ones of special interest. "I'm sure Gareth could tell you a lot more about these pieces than I could- he helped me pick some of them out." Gina gave me a surprised look, and I leaned in to whisper, "Old friends."
Gina even had a few good observations on the art, making the professor side of me proud at her learning. But as fun as it was seeing the art and architecture during our 30 minute tour, the best part of the evening was when the tour ended in the ballroom. We walked into a wide open space as Terrence spoke of the original design and the modifications he had made. We both tuned him out.
Walking into the ballroom, it was impossible not to look up. The ceiling had been converted into a large glass dome. Oddly, my first thought was that the cleaning bill must be enormous. It was a clear night, and the moon shone through the ceiling, lighting up the room with no need of electric assistance. Because the house was settled a bit outside of town, there was almost no light pollution. So looking up, we could see hundreds, maybe thousands of stars. It was stunning.
We weren't even halfway into the room when Gina stopped walking. I tore my eyes from the view above to look at her. She was almost pale, her eyes wide with wonder, scanning the whole sky, trying to take everything in. We had been holding hands during that part of the tour, and her grip on me tightened. She tugged my arm, drawing me close to her. She seemed dizzy, almost faint. She leaned her whole body against mine and rested her head against my shoulder, never taking her eyes off the stars for a second.
I wrapped my arms around her and she responded by doing the same to me. We stood there in a chaste embrace, Gina staring at the sky while I stared at her. Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes and her breathing quickened. Terrence, my wise friend, had quietly backed out of the room. I don't know how long we stood there, surely no less than 10 minutes. I looked at the sky again, wondering what she saw there. I looked at her face again, noticing that she never cried but still had water in her eyes.
I reflected on how fragile she was. I didn't think she would have been able to stand on her own in that moment. My arms were under hers, helping to support her. Gina- who was so strong and who asserted herself, and who had such confidence- was breakable. There was something being revealed, something about her I didn't know- so much I didn't know! A thought occurred to me in full clarity-
Gareth, do not fuck this up. Do not hurt this treasure of a woman.
Maybe I was just a convenient prop, maybe I just happened to be the lucky guy standing near her in that moment. But I loved knowing that she leaned against
me
and wanted
me
