I love Black men. They're so amazing. And they come in so many colors, shapes and sizes. I like them all because I've tried them all. Tall, lean and athletic, dark-skinned Brothers. Short, stocky and hairy Brothers. Chubby Brothers with strong bodies and cute faces. Light-skinned and pale-eyed Brothers. Brothers with dreadlocks and beards. Bald Brothers. Brothers in suits. Brothers in overalls. Brothers in their birthday suits. Oh, yeah. They're all mighty fine and I like them all. I gotta have myself a roll in the hay with a good-looking Black stud at least twice a week, seriously. If I don't, then I experience a kind of withdrawal. It makes me extra bitchy and you really don't want to see that. Trust me.
The name is Lilith Auvergne and I am a Black woman of Haitian descent who is slowly recovering from H.B.A.S. or Hot Brothers Addiction Syndrome. One in three Black women is afflicted with this Syndrome and there is currently no cure. I'm always prowling around for a hot Brother. You wouldn't know it to look at me, though. I stand five feet eleven inches tall, curvy and sexy, with dark brown skin and long, neatly braided Black hair that's all mine, thank you very much. I wear thick nerdy glasses but I'm still hot. My big, heart-shaped booty has all the boys licking their lips, folks. However, in spite of my sex appeal, I've got this geeky, sort of gal-next-door quality that makes most people, especially men, see me as harmless.
I am a first-year student at the University of Ottawa Law School by day and a Church freak in the weekends and evenings. That's right. I'm a Deaconess at The True Gospel Church in the City of Ottawa, Province of Ontario. I simply love the Black Church. It's the best place to find good-looking and well-hung sexy Black men. More reliable than the gym or the night club. It's like shooting fish in a damn barrel. I wish Black guys knew this so more of them would come to church. There are more horny sluts in a Church than in a night club on any given weekend, folks. You heard it here first.
I met this sexy Brother named Adam Mercier while attending late night service three Sundays ago in Church. And he was fine as hell. He works as a Constable with the Ottawa Police Service. Hmm. Impressive. We don't have a lot of Black police officers in the City of Ottawa. Most of the Black cops in the Confederation of Canada work in bigger cities like Toronto, Vancouver, Halifax, Calgary or Hamilton. I could just picture Adam looking all sexy in his police uniform. He stood over six feet tall, lean and muscular. Just the way I like them. I definitely wanted some of him. The problem is that he came into the Church with this annoying White chick named Eve Hampton or something. You know the type. She has a thousand questions about Black folks and Black things and Black customs and she'll corner you until you answer them. I hate it when I see these type of White women with our finest Black men. Why can't White sluts leave our Black men alone? The world is full of White guys so White chicks got plenty of choices. They don't need to come into our community and steal what we have. Damn it.
I approached Adam, making myself all friendly like. One big mistake most of us Black women make is that we're seen as a loud, bossy and angry bunch. Lately, our anger and bossiness has driven many of our Black men into the arms of those fake-smiling, giggly White chicks. And the sight of them together makes most of us simmer with anger. Sisters, you know what I'm talking about. Don't lie. Well, I wanted to take Adam from Eve and would stop at nothing to get my hooks into him. I don't feel that way about every Brother I see with a White chick but lately, these White bitches have been stealing the cream of the crop. I did my homework on Adam. He has a bachelor's degree in Criminology from York University. He's good-looking, educated, smart and gainfully employed. That's more than most Sisters can hope for when they meet a good-looking Black man. Yeah, I wanted him. Badly.
Adam was a Church guy. I could tell that just by looking at him. When I found out he used to attend Montclair Catholic Academy in the City of Toronto, I wasn't a bit surprised. Like I said, I could smell the Church guy on him. Not all guys you see in Church are Church guys. Some are just prowling the Church for pussy. Real Church guys are rare. They're usually kind of hot but also timid, which makes them fun to chase. Adam definitely fit into that category. He recently moved to the City of Ottawa from the town of Brampton near Toronto and he's still getting used to the boring little capital of Canada. Ottawa is one of the Whitest towns in the Province of Ontario. I bet it's making poor little Adam feel weird at times. The Black Church seemed like a safe haven for him. Too bad he got snagged by that White slut, Eve. I did my homework on Eve. She was an English national, and moved to Canada from the town of Galway two years ago. She was studying business at Carleton University. I found her annoying as hell. Just another one of those dumb White sluts with a case of Jungle Fever. I wish all White chicks on the planet would stick to White guys and leave our Black men alone, seriously. However, since my wish isn't coming true anytime soon, I had to take matters into my own hands.
I decided to get to know Adam. As Deaconess of the Church, it was part of my job to make all newcomers feel welcome. You got no idea how much I want to make Adam feel welcome. I just want to rip his clothes off, kiss his sugary lips and suck his cock. However, I can't do that just yet. I had to prepare the terrain, so to speak. Over the next week, I got to know Adam. Like me, he was of Haitian descent. He grew up in the City of Toronto. And he liked our church. Well, thank God for small favors. When I asked him about his parents, he proudly told me that his folks, Leonard and Alice Mercier, were retired and living in the Caribbean after decades spent working as Social Workers for the Canadian government. Well, that's interesting.
I wanted to know him better. Most specifically, I wanted to know what he saw in Eve. She's around five-foot-six, rail-thin, with blonde hair and blue eyes. Her English accent is quite thick and she asks the most annoying questions about Black folks and Black culture. What the fuck is Black culture supposed to be? I'm of Haitian descent. I've got friends who are South African, Somalians, Afro-Cubans, Senegalese, Congolese, Afro-Brazilians and Kenyans. There is no universal Black culture. We're a diverse bunch. We're a melting pot. Adam was friendly and comfortable when talking to me. I took that as a good sign. See, Sisters? It pays to be nice to a Brother sometimes! Adam and I exchanged cell phone numbers and I added him on Facebook and Twitter. Slowly but surely, I inserted myself into his life. I told him he could come to me with anything. I became his confidante, his best friend and his ally. And he never suspected a thing. Am I good or what?
Before long, Adam was calling me all the time. I guess he liked the sound of my voice. He often called me when he had some issues with Eve and wanted some advice from a feminine perspective. Naturally, I tried my best to be helpful...psych! Yeah, I am sorry to tell you this but my advice often landed Adam in hot water with Eve. And he was never the wiser. He was in pain and I hated to put him through that but if he is to be mine, there is no other way. I've got to break up his relationship with Eve. My plan seemed to be working because one day, Adam called me out of the blue and asked me to meet him inside the Food Court of Saint Laurent Mall, near downtown Ottawa.
