All characters and events in this work are purely fiction and any similarity between them and any real person or situation is merely coincidental.
Anthony saw the call pop up on the screen of his phone, but he couldn't bring himself to answer. He sat in his office lost in a haze of thought about what could be. He was barely aware that the buzz surrounding his cubicle had died down for lunch. He didn't check his e-mail or answer his muted office phone. From the blush on his cheek to the nervous feeling in his gut to his restless feet, he knew he was close to a big decision – one from which there was no return.
Courtney was in sales for a vendor at his company. More than two years ago, they were having a friendly talk after a meeting. Just a "few minutes" after the meeting had blossomed into more than two hours in the parking garage. By the end of the conversation, they both knew a bridge had been crossed. Suddenly everything she said or did or wore took on tremendous importance. Everyone else in his life faded as his "Courtney Tunnelvision" closed around him. He had sense enough to leave it for a day. But two days after the talk he called her with a purpose.
"Listen, I can't believe how great the other night was," he committed himself right from the start.
"Wow – I wasn't sure you felt it the way I did."
"Any being with senses would have. I think the cicadas knew what was going on!" Being outside in deep summer in Texas means accompaniment by the rising and falling song of the cicada. "I need to see you."
"Well ... You called on the right night. I don't have plans tonight. No long hours outside, though." She sounded eager.
"That's for sure. How about dinner?"
And so they had gone. The conversation continued at a rapid pace just like the night before. Anthony was surprised at her insistence on picking up the tab. He was a little disconcerted by her need to maintain an appearance of a platonic date. And yet she invited him in at the end of the evening. Needless to say, he followed.
After a few awkward minutes standing in the kitchen getting drinks, they sat next to each other at the table. Anthony took her hand and she clutched his back. He looked up and met her eyes. She was forthright, but slightly shaking.
"Are we ready for this?" she asked. He didn't answer. Instead he brushed her hair behind her ear and kissed her. The kiss had no questions about it and she did return it. As they embraced, he noticed how firm she was; her youth and her activity keeping her in shape. More kisses followed, still short and shallow. Her lips still held tight. With one hand, he cradled the back of her head and massaged her. The other reached around her back and held her to him.
Her hands stopped at his arms. After several minutes, those hands pushed back, ending the full embrace. Anthony and Courtney looked at each other. "We can't." She dropped her hands to his, gave him a short squeeze and walked him toward the door.
He couldn't even remember what they had said in parting. He had been committed to a start with her and her decision to pause had left him in a fever. Over the next week he thought of her every second. He fought the urge to call her more than was proper. He worked all the angles out in his head and still couldn't understand her hesitance. He knew the story – she was dating a nice guy, Chris, and needed to make sure before she ended it. But every conversation they had she voluntarily brought up how Chris was less than what she needed. It drove Anthony a little crazy.
The madness had subsided over the last two years, but occasional flare-ups still occurred. He never lost his desire for her and he never gave up hope that they would have a chance to be together someday. He spread out his contact with her, not wanting to seem too eager or desperate. But he was relentless. He never let her forget that he was there and he was thinking of her. Nearly always he initiated the contact – but she always called him back. Every conversation still had that tension and that kept him going.
Now it was his birthday and she had called him. Normally that would be no big deal – but he knew that Chris had recently been given his walking papers. The way was clear. So he weighed every word he might say and figured out how to sound nonchalant.
"Hello!"