Author's note: Dear readers, you may want to read the first two chapters in this series in order to familiarize yourself with the plot and characters. Thank you and happy reading. Tony155
Chapter 1
It was over the next few days and weeks when Nick and Shannon discovered more about each other and found what made the other tick. They found each other fascinating and they spent almost every free moment together. Shannon tried hard to overcome her fears, but she still imagined visions of Jeremy from time to time. She never let on as she battled her demons and Nick felt everything was fine. Outwardly, she showed no signs, but inwardly, she knew she couldn't defeat him without outside help.
What frustrated her most was the fact that Nick didn't do anything to elicit any of the fears she possessed. Their arguments, which were rare, were small and meaningless and there was never any real anger shown. But, Nick raised his voice at times and that seemed to be enough to trigger something deep within her. Shannon would cringe and shy away and hope he wouldn't notice. She hated the fact that she was unable to overcome her fears and thought herself as being weak.
It was after one such argument in early August where Shannon flopped down on the sofa and buried her face in her hands, defeated and feeling sick to her stomach.
"Are you okay?" Nick asked. They had been discussing her schedule and he had been upset that she had to work some very late hours on the weekend.
"I can't take it anymore," she cried softly.
"What?" he asked, not comprehending her statement.
"Almost every time we argue, I think something bad is going to happen. I keep thinking you're going to yell at me or hit me." She couldn't look at him.
"Hit you? You know I would never hit you! I didn't mean to..."
"It's not your fault!" she sobbed, interrupting him. "I thought I was strong enough, but I'm not. I've tried, Nick, honest I have. I just can't do this on my own. I can't go on being afraid."
Nick was bewildered. He hadn't the first clue that she was still in turmoil. Things had been going very well between them; at least he thought they were. He became a regular at O'Reilly's and enjoyed being with her and watching her work. She warned him ahead of time that being nice to her customers and flirting was part of her job and she got better tips because of it. He assured her it wouldn't be a problem and it wasn't. He was secure and confident in their relationship and jealousy never entered his mind. But, he kept his eye out for ones who wanted to get more than just friendly or had way too much to drink. Of course, Stan, the bouncer, did a great job and there weren't any problems. Their dates were always fun, light, and easy and he looked forward to being alone with her. Sure, they had arguments. Didn't all couples? Nick never thought of them as being serious and he wasn't upset with her for very long. The arguments themselves didn't last long and he enjoyed making up to her, be it a simple hug and kiss, or going to bed. Their lovemaking was probably the most satisfying aspect of their relationship and he loved their times together. But, sadly, all the love he could give her wasn't enough. He looked at her as she cried quietly. Slowly, he sat down and put his arm around her to comfort her.
"Please tell me you still love me," she said, her head still down.
"I'm still here."
"Tell me. I need to hear it."
"I love you, Shan."
She sighed heavily. "Thank you for still loving me."
"It's going to take a lot more than this to drive me away."
Shannon smiled wanly. There was an awkward silence between them as the argument was forgotten and another problem was confronted.
"I didn't know you were still having problems," he said quietly.
"I didn't want you to know."
"Why."
"I thought you would leave me."
"I'm not going to leave you.."
"I know."
"Why would you think such a thing?"
"I have no idea. That's another reason I need help. Every time we quarrel or disagree, I think you'll leave me."
Nick looked down. He really had no idea she was feeling this way. It made him feel very guilty for every time he was upset with her. It wasn't often, but it was still too much if she was still having problems.
"Who are you going to see?" he asked.
"There's a battered women's shelter downtown. I think the counselors there can help me."
"Good idea," he nodded. "Do you want me to come along with you?"
"No," she said softly, putting her hand over his. "I don't want anyone there to think you're the cause."
Chapter 2
"Hey babe. Long time, no see. I thought maybe we could get together for old times sake. How about it? Give me a call and we'll make plans."
Shannon stared at the recorder in disbelief for a long time after she heard the long lost voice of Jeremy. How could he? How could he think she would ever want to see him again? Waves of new found terror gripped her and swept through her as she sat down in a chair and hugged herself. His voice haunted her just as it did the last time she spoke to him. He couldn't possibly believe that, could he? Or was this just some sick, twisted game he was playing to terrorize her once again?
She had been seeing a counselor twice a week for the past two months and she could see a real difference in her confidence and how she handled situations with Nick. Little by little, her fears were going away and she was beginning to feel normal for the first time in two years. Things had been going great between her and Nick and they had even began to discuss the possibility of moving in together. Although marriage had not been talked about, Shannon hoped that was in their future plans as well.
Now,
he
was back in the picture just when things were finally starting to stabilize. She knew his probation was over and the restraining order she had filed with the court had expired, so he was doing nothing illegal by calling her. Shannon wasn't even sure if she could have another order filed on her behalf. She just didn't know.
That evening, she was unusually quiet as they dined at Nick's house. By his own admission, Nick was not a very good cook, but he knew how to grill. The early October air was still warm as they ate on his back porch. He had purchased a picnic table and benches and was looking into financing for an enclosure to be built. When they did decide to move in together, they thought they would share his house since it was a little bit bigger than Shannon's, plus it had a basement.
He noticed her reserved nature that evening, but said nothing. He thought she seemed jumpy and nervous at times and that was what bothered him. Things had been going very well between them since she decided to get counseling, and he had even seen her counselor once himself to gain some type of perspective as to what goes through the mind of a battered and abused woman. He came away with a greater respect for Shannon and had a better grasp for everything she went through.
"Is something wrong?" he asked, not being able to contain himself.
"No."
"Is everything okay at work?"
"Yes."
"Is everything okay at the restaurant?" She was working days at a fashionable upscale restaurant in the city's business district.
"It's fine." Her eyes stayed glued to her plate.
"Is the food okay?"
"It's
fine
!" she hissed. "What's with all the questions?" she demanded as she tossed her napkin on the table.
"What the hell's wrong with you, Shannon? Can't I ask you a question?" Nick searched her face for clues, but found none.
She got up from the table abruptly and walked towards the grass of his back yard. Nick tossed his napkin on the table as well as he watched her. Slowly, he got up and walked in her general direction.
While her back was still facing him, he said, "If I did something wrong..."
Shannon whirled around to face him. "You did nothing wrong! I'm fine. Work is fine. O'Reilly's is fine. Everything is fine! Stop with the questions already." Her arms were crossed in front of her. Her chest heaved as she tried to remain in control.
Nick blinked as he tried to understand from where this was coming. He couldn't remember her being this hostile and defensive towards him, even in their worst argument. He did some quick thinking and calculated that she wasn't near her cycle, and therefore not having PMS. Nick didn't believe her for a second about things being fine, but what was it? He scanned his brain to try and remember anything he said or did that would have upset her. He could think of nothing.
"Okay," he said. "No more questions." Nick turned and walked back to the table. After he sat down, he sipped from his water glass and eyed Shannon as she continued to look off into the distance.
Shannon couldn't believe how nasty she had been to him, but she didn't know if she should tell him or not. It was her problem long before she ever met Nick and she didn't want to make it his problem, too. But now, she was making it his problem and he didn't have a clue as to why. She blinked some tears away before she slowly turned around to go back to the table. He wasn't there. Some of the plates and bowls were missing and she assumed he was in the house starting the dishes. She went to the table and began to gather some of the utensils and plates before she walked into the house.
He was at the sink and his back was to her when she came into the dining room. Nick glanced behind him, but said nothing as she came beside him and placed the dirty dishes on the counter top.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly, placing a hand on his shoulder. Nick shrugged and said nothing. He continued to rinse off the plates and bowls in the sink.
"I can be a real bitch sometimes, can't I?" she asked.
"I won't argue with you about that." He looked at her and managed a small smile.