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The stories in the "Celebrity" section of Literotica are all fictional parodies - none are true, nor are they approved of by the celebrities named in the stories. Authors write these fictitious stories about famous people for the same reason that Larry Flynt made fun of Jerry Falwell, because they can. The Supreme Court of the United States, the country where this site is located, has ruled that parodies involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United States Constitution. The specific case law on this was decided in the case of "Hustler Magazine, Inc. et al. v. Jerry Falwell" in 1988. No harm is intended toward the celebrities featured in these stories, but they are public figures and in being so, they must accept that they are fair target for parodies by the public. We believe in the first amendment, and more broadly, in the basic principle of free speech and this section may push the boundaries of that principle, but the United States Supreme Court has approved of this type of material. We believe that the Supreme Court was correct in their decision.
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Chapter 3
Me and Janis Joplin
We were flying them in by helicopter because the roads were so jammed. No one could get through anymore. Rumor had it that Joni Mitchell was stuck on the New York State Thruway, and I wouldn't doubt it for a minute. The helicopters were for bringing in supplies and taking out anyone who needed medical help—but we had requisitioned them on several occasions to bring in some of the acts.
Kenny told me that I was supposed to meet the groups and bring them safe and sound to the backstage area, which wasn't much more than a bunch of trailers stuck in the mud by that time. I'd gotten most of them in—
The Who, Santana,
even
Jefferson Airplane
was already there.
Iron Butterfly
was stuck at the airport and they were on the phone with us for almost an hour trying to figure a way to get them in. The helicopter was a Med-Vac unit and couldn't get clearance to fly into the airport, of all places. We were still trying.
The Doors
cancelled at the last minute and Kenny was totally flipping out.
Janis was my last pickup according to Kenny, her and some one-hit-wonder chick. I honest to god couldn't remember her name. Of course, there's a lot I can't remember about those three or four days. Ask anyone who was really there what happened, and if they can tell you for sure—odds are, they weren't there.
Janis liked this girl, though. Talked real sweet to her, patted her like some frightened kitten on the ride over. I just sat and watched them. I'd pretty much stopped being star-struck after the first few trips. I'd agreed to volunteer in order to get free admission to the show but I figured I'd be putting on band-aids or passing out hot dogs. Instead, here I was, chauffeuring the acts in to the concert while everyone was getting in free anyway. I'd missed some good stuff, but I wasn't complaining. I knew I was getting a perspective that not many people had.
"This way," I said over the helicopter's roar as we stepped off into Max Yasgur's field.
It was drizzling and gray, and the ground was squishy under our feet. I made sure they both had shoes before we started back to the trailers. There was a lot of broken glass around that got lost in the grass. It was funny, because we landed in a separate area (the kids had figured out that sometimes we were bringing acts in by air and had started to crowd around to see who was getting off next) but no one even looked twice when I led those two behind me, even in the midst of the crowd.
Maybe Janis just wasn't that recognizable in her faded bellbottoms. She had her long, frizzy hair pulled back and was carrying a bag over her shoulder, and I guess she didn't look that important. In the helicopter, she seemed to have this glow, a sort of light. There was a moment when she pulled the girl's hair aside and whispered something to her and then winked over at me—but the minute we stepped out into the crowd, she changed. It was like she could make herself
dim
somehow, almost invisible, and we passed through them all unnoticed.
We had trailers set up for the acts to sleep in, although some had brought their own (the ones who made it through before the roads got all jammed.) Some of them had pitched tents, too, and were roughing it, just like the kids out on the lawn. This was long before those days when stars demanded only green M&M's or Evian water in their hotel rooms. This was long before most of these acts were, well... stars. I showed them both to a trailer where some of the other girls were staying—Grace Slick opened the door holding a beer and wearing a pair of cut-offs and a red tube top and she smiled at me and invited them in.
Once I knew they were safe and sound, I waved my goodbyes and thought that was it. I was pretty much looking forward to my freedom for the rest of the concert. Janis caught up to me, though, a little breathless and in bare feet now, I noticed.
"Hey, man, thanks," she said, giving me that smile—the one she had given me on the helicopter ride over that made my stomach do a little flip.