The Maltese Fuckin Ch 4 1

Ch. IV: The Family Jewels

"So, how long have you been doing this?" Dr. Reps asked.

"Doing what?" Joel replied.

"This...activity," the doctor said as gently as he could.

"Fucking my cousin?" Joel looked over from the couch.

"Yes," Dr. Reps affirmed, squirming in his chair and filling the office with the squeak of khakis on leather.

"We've been going at it a couple years now. We hooked up back in college. Suzi and I went to the same school and she came over to the house one night. We had fooled around when we were kids. You know, the usual stuff. Just exploration and being kids. Well, a couple tequila shots and a whack on the ass later we were screwing right there in the papa-san chair."

"Do you feel that this...relationship is affecting you in an adverse way?"

"I don't know, doc', that's why I'm here, I guess. The captain thinks I'm a bit on the edge lately, since the D'Angelo murder a couple months ago."

"You worked the case?"

"Yeah, and found myself threatened by friends of Tommy D'Angelo as a result. They wanted to take care of it on their own."

"But you brought in the killer and two other convictions. You even helped out the FBI, I heard."

"Yeah, those suits couldn't find their ass with their own hands."

"Now, about your cousin..."

"Yeah, Suzi. She and I - " Joel stopped. He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out his pager. Dr. Reps sat back in his leather chair, scribbled some notes, and waited. Joel's left eyebrow went up as he scanned through the message. He turned to sit up on the couch and began reaching for his coat.

"Where to now, Detective?" Dr. Reps asked, looking rather sage-like behind his thick desk.

"The Lucky Star. There's a homicide. It's a real X-file, I guess."

"I'll reschedule you for Thursday."

"What about tomorrow?" Joel inquired.

"No, I've got an appointment with a woman who thinks she can only be sexual if she's wearing a red dress."

"Huh." Joel chuckled. "And I thought screwing my cousin was weird."

Detective Joel Bedard pulled on his suit coat and left the office of Dr. Nathaniel Reps. The Las Vegas sun was bright as he stepped outside, using the key chain remote to turn off the alarm on his black AMC Javelin parked out front. He flipped on his cheap convenience store sunglasses and slid into the driver's seat. He hit the CD player, scanning ahead to Creedence Clearwater Revival's cover of "I Heard It Through the Grapevine" and spun off for the Lucky Star Hotel and Casino, with the window down and the stereo blaring.

He was met at the door by Frankie Mancuso, head of security at the Lucky Star. Frankie looked almost panicked. Joel didn't know why. The old ladies were still damaging their rotator cuffs on the slot machines and the horrible magic show that everyone seemed to love was still selling out. You could have a terrorist attack in most of the casinos, and the die-hards would never know. Frankie's suit was wrinkled, and he was sweating a little too much, even with the Vegas heat simmering around them. He shook Joel's hand, and Joel noticed he was shaking.

"Joel! What are you doing here?" Frankie asked.

"I figured I'd shoot some craps, get a drink, and...oh, I don't know, check out the dead body in 33-B."

"You don't need to do that, Joel. I mean, it's already taken care of."

"That's funny, why was I paged to come down here then if everything's taken care of?"

"It must be a mistake, Joel. Everything's being kept quiet and only a couple guests know anything. We've managed to keep them quiet - "

"Concrete shoes?"

"No." Frankie frowned. "Look, Joel. You're not needed here."

Joel took a step forward, and then turned his head a notch as Frankie stepped in front of him, more or less barring the main doors to the Lucky Star.

"Frankie, if there's been a murder, I'm going in there." Joel looked behind him, pointing at the three squad cars in the parking lot. "The black and whites are already here, and I pray to God you've got the scene secured. Now let me go up there and work."

He moved to walk around Frankie, and Frankie stopped him with a hand on the chest.

"Joel, someone is already covering the job."

Joel swatted the hand away and somehow kept from backhanding Frankie across the nose.

"Who? Rammers? Polinski? Those idiots will be tracking bloody footprints all over your ugly hallway carpet!"

"No, Charles Fish."

"Charlie the Tuna? The Charlie the Tuna?"

"Yes, he's brought in his people to work the case."

"You couldn't call us?" Joel snapped.

"Charlie didn't want you guys to screw up the scene," Frankie explained after taking a hard swallow.

"Frankie, if you ever impeded a Las Vegas Police homicide investigation again, I will personally see your ass in court. I will march right into your office and drag your chubby ass out in cuffs right in front of the whole goddamn magic show crowd if I have to. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Joel. Look, I - "

Joel was already inside before Frankie finished his sentence. He headed to 33-B and was happy to see the whole hallway had been secured, and three patrolmen were standing guard, looking happier than usual.

"What's the word?" Joel asked as he ducked under the "POLICE LINE - DO NOT CROSS" tape.

"Some guy got his dick bit off," Patrolman Weavers answered.

"Well, that's what happens when you forget to tip your whore," Joel joked.

"I think she kept the tip, Detective," Patrolman Joyce replied.

"Touché!" Joel grinned and headed into room 33-B.

He stood in the doorway in shock for a moment. It wasn't the grisliest thing he'd ever seen. That distinction belonged to "Fast" Freddy Impell, who had been found in the trunk of his car in the middle of the desert after he'd been missing for two weeks. Joel was more shocked that the officers outside had told him the truth.

There lay a man, in his forties probably, spread-eagled, handcuffed, and his johnson missing. There was hardly any blood around the body. There was a queen of hearts card on the bed. Taking notes was an older man in a nice suit, who stood like his hip was out of place. Taking pictures was a stunning young woman who crouched near the body and popped off photo after photo. Joel couldn't tell if she was Southeast Asian, or maybe Eastern Indian. All he knew was that she was beautiful. Exceptionally beautiful. She was dressed comfortably, in jeans and a ribbed white cotton T-shirt. She moved to a spot in front of Joel, paying no attention to him. He had to stop looking at her, he thought, he had to concentrate on the task at hand.

"You must be the Tuna," Joel finally said.

"Yes, that's what they call me," the old man answered without looking at him.

"Detective Joel Bedard, homicide."

"Yes, pleased to meet you," The Tuna again spoke without acknowledging Joel. The woman kept clicking away with her camera.

"I've heard a lot about you. I heard how you solved the Parking Lot Murders a few years back. The department still owes you for that one." Joel watched the woman move nimbly around the body.

"Well, Detective, you can help repay that debt by leaving the matter to me. My colleagues and I have the matter well in hand."

Joel stood silent for a brief moment. The woman finally looked at him. She didn't smile. She didn't frown. She just looked at him with a slight bit of curiosity.

"Excuse me, Tuna, but I've been assigned to this case, and I'm going to work it."

The woman looked back at the Tuna, with the same amount of curiosity.

"Very well." The Tuna sighed. "Just don't get in our way."

"It would be better if we pooled our resources," Joel suggested.

"It would be better if you were quiet," The Tuna replied.

"What information do we have on the victim?" Joel pressed.

"His name is Masterson, and he was last seen with a beautiful woman. He was here in Las Vegas to buy a priceless artifact. He was found like this by a maid, his penis bit off and all his blood removed from his body. All that the killer left was this queen of hearts you see on the bed."

"A vampire with a calling card?" Joel walked over to the bed, bending down a bit.

"So it would seem. Perhaps she identifies with the symbol of the woman in red. A strong woman with no qualms about - "

"Maybe she wants to be found," Joel interrupted, and for the first time, the Tuna turned to look at him. The gorgeous woman stopped clicking pictures. She turned her lovely face up to look at Joel, almost making him stop breathing.

"I'm sorry?" The Tuna asked, taking a step forward. He now appeared stronger than when Joel had first seen him. The woman stood up, moving in on Joel a bit also. Joel found himself taking a half-step back. He looked at the exotic woman, then back to the Tuna and his hard, blue eyes.

"Why else would she leave the card?" Joel started, stepping back towards them, "What's the point of committing a crime like this if no one knows it was you?"

"For the sake of anonymity," the woman spoke for the first time. Her voice sounded like a harp to Joel's ears. He couldn't take his eyes off her for what seemed like a solid minute.

"No, you don't leave such an obvious clue unless you want to be found. Didn't you people ever watch 'Batman'? Why do you think the Riddler left all those riddles? He wanted to challenge Batman. He wanted the notoriety. He wanted the world to know it was him. She wants us to find her. Have you checked the security videos yet?"

"I was about to send Kim to do so before you arrived," the Tuna explained. "Why don't you go with her?"

"Why don't you not tell me what to do?" Joel almost growled, and he couldn't help but notice a brief smile dance across the exotic woman's, across Kim's, face. "I'll head down there and check the videos, and you can think about working on this case together. I'd appreciate the chance to work with a legend, but if you want to play hardball, then we can do it that way. It's fine with me."

Joel spun around and walked out without looking back. He felt a tremendous rush of energy flow through his body, and he couldn't help but grin as he walked down the hall. Patrolmen Weavers and Joyce were smiling at him, and before he said anything to them, he realized that they weren't smiling at him at all. He glanced back to see Kim, the exotic woman, trotting along after him. He held up the police line tape for her, and she nimbly ducked underneath.

"Thank you," she said as they moved down the hall together.

"You're very welcome." Joel smiled his best mack-daddy smile.

"I don't think I've ever seen anybody tell the Tuna off like that, mister...?"

"Bedard. Joel Bedard."

"Wright. Kim Wright. It's very nice to meet you, Joel." She shook his hand. It was smooth, but strong. It was full of self-assurance. She knew her work, whatever it was. She wasn't the type to take any crap, and she was the most beautiful woman Joel had ever seen.

"And you too, Ms. Wright."

"Kim. Please." She smiled at him, and he felt the urge to loosen his silk tie.

"Alright, Kim. What can you tell me about this artifact that the victim was trying to buy?"

"It's a phallus encrusted with two emeralds, basically."

"A phallus?" Joel chuckled. "Are you serious?"

"Very. Many cultures have phalluses that hold a great deal of significance and some are even rumored to possess magical powers. Some think it belonged to a royal family. This one is a double-ended phallus with - "

"Wait. Wait." Joel stopped them in the middle of the hallway. "Are you telling me that this guy got his penis bit off and his blood drained because he was trying to buy a magical sex toy?"

"Well, there's more to the legend than the sexual aspect, but yes, I suppose so." She gave him the crippling smile again.

"The family jewels, huh?"

"Yeah." She giggled, making Joel's stomach flutter.

"That's the second craziest thing I've heard all day." They started walking again.

"And the first?"

"Some woman who thinks she can only have sex when she's wearing a red dress."

"Now that is silly. You can be sexual in anything!"

Joel said nothing. He wanted to say something witty, something flirty, anything, but he held back. He figured he start to speak, she'd give him the Killer Smile, and it would come out sounding like Charlie Brown's teacher.

They reached the main security video room, and quickly booted out the guard there so they could work in peace. They poured over hours and hours of videotape. They searched and searched for the victim, Dr. Masterson. They finally found him, about three hours later.

Joel had long since removed his suit jacket, and had loosened his tie. Kim didn't look any less stunning, even after the boring work they'd just accomplished. Joel leaned forward in his chair and zoomed in on the woman sitting next to Dr. Masterson.

"She's beautiful. That's good. A woman like that won't be hard to find."

"Where do we start looking?" Kim rolled up on her wheeled chair next to him. Her scent, a mixture of vanilla and jasmine, overwhelmed him. He glanced over to her as she leaned in close to get a good look at Dr. Masterson's possible killer.

"The Queen of Hearts Escort Service, where else?"

"The card?" Kim perked up.

"The card." Joel nodded.

"Why didn't we think of that?" She sat back in her chair a bit, turning to face him.

"You're not locals."

"How do you know I'm not a local, Joel?" She leaned back towards him, placing her hand on his knee.

"Trust me, if you were a local, I'd know you. You're far too beautiful to go unnoticed."

"That's very sweet of you, Joel. Very sweet."

She crawled forward, up out of her chair, and kissed him. Joel's eyes opened wider to take in the tremendous sight of her cat-like body stretching over him. His hands came up to her ribs, sliding up her cotton shirt and around to her shoulder blades. He pulled her close to him. Their tongues darted in and out of each other's mouths and he nibbled down her chin to lick slippery circles over her throat.

She straddled him in the chair, making him lean back as she moved her hips back and forth, sliding her pubic bone along the length of the bulge in his pants. She moaned softly as he kissed at her collar bone and slid his fingers into her hair. His other hand crept up from her hip, slowly moving to her breast, which seemed to be pushing against her shirt, begging to come out.

That's when the door opened. Kim's head whipped around and Joel leaned over to look past her. Standing in the doorway were three large Japanese men, with guns already drawn. They were all wearing black suits and had expensive haircuts. The leader, the one in the middle, pointed a finger that was missing the first knuckle at them.

"The tape! Give it to us and you will not be hurt!"

"What are you talking about?" Kim feinted.

"Do not play games! The tape!"

"Alright! Alright! Keep your shirt on!" Joel nudged Kim to slide off him. He popped the security tape from the recorder and held it out to the three men.

"Here you go."

The leader stepped forward, lowering his gun just a bit and holding out his hand.

That's when Joel kicked Kim's empty chair into him. The chair caught him in the shins, jerking him forward just a bit.

Joel came out of his chair in a lightning fast move, immediately pasting the man in the face with a hard right hand. The man's head snapped back and blood shot from his nose. The two thugs ran forward, one to catch their leader, and the other to train his gun on Joel.

Before Joel could move to intercept him, Kim came out of nowhere and grabbed the man by his gun arm. She dropped him with a quick arm bar takedown and buried her elbow into the back of his head as soon as his face met the floor. The leader was being held up by his crony, and Joel reached back to the small of his back, pulling the twin nickel-plated Colt .45 semi-automatics from their holsters.

"Kim, get the tape."

She already had it, and now had the downed man's gun trained on the other two as well. They maneuvered around to the door, leaving one man down and another bloodied as they hurried out the door and ran down the hall.

"Where are we going?" Kim yelled as they ran.

"My car!" Joel led her outside to the Javelin and they were soon speeding off. "Any idea who those guys were?"

"Yakuza probably. They work for a man named Miyuki Huang."

"Oh, shit! Special crimes unit has a file on that guy a mile long. What's he got to do with all this?"

"He's supposedly an intermediary for the sale of the Maltese Fuckin'."

"The what?" Joel blurted out with laughter.

"That's just a nickname my friends and I have given it."

"Well, if they're as beautiful as you, I'd love to meet them."

"I'm sure you will, Joel. Where are we going now?"

"The Queen of Hearts. I'm guessing our friends back there will be headed that way too, so we'd better get there first."

"A good idea. I'll call my friends, but in the meantime, how about I finish what I started?"

"What do you -?" Joel began, and Kim unbuckled her seat belt and slid her head under Joel's arm on the steering wheel. She pulled his zipper open and before Joel could say anything else, she was already sucking him into her mouth. Her tongue swirled all around him and his grip on the steering wheel tightened at the sensation. She held him gently in her hand as she slid her lips up and down the shaft, making him all slippery and wet. He was rigid. He was swollen. He was huge. He was so hard he was nearly in pain. Her pretty face looked up at him now and then, and she'd grin with a mouthful of cock.

The Javelin picked up speed as she nibbled and licked at him. Her nose pushed into his belly as she took all of him into her throat. She squeezed his balls through his pants, and that was the last straw. Joel let out a guttural moan and his backside stiffened beneath him, forcing his hips up at her. She moaned happily as he shot stream after stream of hot cum into her throat. She wrapped her lips around the head, tickling just underneath it with her tongue to coax the last bit out of him. She sat up, wiping just a little drop from the corner of her mouth. She zipped him back up. His knuckles were white on the steering wheel.

"Wow," he stammered after a few deep breaths, "I hope you'll let me return the favor."

"I will, don't you worry, after we're done with work."

"Then I'll work extra fast," Joel promised as they pulled into the parking lot of the office building which housed the Queen of Hearts Escort Service.

To Be Continued...

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