Authors note:
Nordic combined is a combination of a cross-country event and a Ski jumping event. This event includes two jumps off one of the hills and one cross country race. The distance traveled in the two jumps is added together. The skier with farthest distance in the two jumps starts first on the second day in the cross country portion of the race. The other racers follow, depending on how far they jumped. The first person to cross the finish line wins. There are individual events and team events.
For my regular readers, this story is part of a fun chain story among litâs authors. Itâs nothing like my regular works.
-CET
Raphy looked to his left, rolled his eyes and looked back to the playing field. I donât get paid nearly enough for this shit, he thought disgustedly. He glanced again at his guest commentator, the tall man in a ten gallon hat, cool-hand-Luke-man-with-no-eyes sunglasses and rattlesnake skin cowboy boots, with his own cooler sitting under his chair. God, he only needs a hayseed and gun to get a part in any low class American movie that needs a small town idiot sheriff, the veteran commentator thought.
A glance to his right revealed a much more welcome sight. A dark hared woman with flashing eyes, a lush body and an excited, he had to admit, even a seductive smile on her face. She wore tight shorts, knee high suede boots and an almost indecently tight tube top. Tatelou was quite a dish to be sure, but the thing that actually caused the proper Englishman to give her a second glace was her status as a world champion caliber fellatrix.
In his ear piece he could hear that bitch Minsue droning on and on with Crimson Maiden the winner of the pentathlon. Another of these ex-athletes looking to turn her Olympic gold in the last games into real dollars as a broadcaster. She should have stuck with endurance twat licking, he thought. She sure seems to have an endless supply of energy to run her mouth, no wonder she was a world champ, he thought wryly.
âAnd that wraps it up here at the modern pentathlon Don, we now take you to the indoor arena for the Nordic Combinedâ she said with a huge phony smile.
âWelcome everyone to the premier event, here at the indoor arena, the prestigious Nordic Combined. Iâm Raphy and here in the booth with me today are the reigning champions Rumpled Foreskin and Tatelou,â he said in his best clipped British accent. This was the part he hated most, having to work rank armatures into the broadcast, but he was a professional and steeled himself, before turning to the rube on his left.
âRumple, this is one of the premier events of the games, but how did it become known as the Nordic combined?â he asked, hoping the guy could at least tell him something useful.
âWell Raph, before the introduction of the blindfold the event was always taken by the Swedes. Them hot gals were all tits and ass, let me tell ya, with flowing blonde hair and the cutest faces. The rest of the world just couldnât compete. I mean, you are standing there trying to think of Aunt Janeâs suspenders or granny & her chewing tobacco. Meanwhile a girl whose panties you couldnât get into with a Ferrari & a sack full of cash is slobbin on your knob. Just plain werenât fair. After the introduction of the blindfold they donât dominate like they used too, but the name stuck.â
âThank you for that far too in-depth answer,â Raphy said before turning to Tatelou.
âI understand this yearâs favorites are a Nordic couple,â Raphy said to Lou.
âMost definitely, the favorites are Svenskaflicka and Liar. Her technique is flawless and once the freestyle portion of the program comes up and she can use her tits, itâs generally lights out. That was my patented maneuver and if you have the cleavage, I say use it, but I wouldnât go handing out medals just yet. Iâve done extensive training in the work out rooms these last two weeks and there is going to be some stiff competition,â she said, laughing at her own pun. He was saved from further embarrassment by the competition getting underway.
âThe athletes are now making their way into the arena. Six pairs of hopefuls, all dreaming of gold. The favorites are Liar and Svenskaflicka, both truly exceptional talents. What makes them the favorites Rumple?â
âWell, canât say much for ole Liar, but I have competed against Flicka before and let me tell you, she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. She just wraps those tig ole bittys around your shaft and unless youâre queerer than a football bat, itâs all over but the crying,â Rumple said enthusiastically, as Raphy grimaced at the colloquialisms.
âLou?â
âLiar has great mind control. What he thinks about is a trade secret, but itâs been rumored he trains by watching Brittany Spearâs videos and has the lyrics memorized. Whatever his training regimen, his opponent will have to be really good to break his concentration,â She said as she unbuttoned the fly on her shorts and eased her hand into them.
âCloudy & Belegon are next, this will be their first Olympic competition together wonât it?â the flustered broadcaster asked.
âYup. Cloudy took home the silver in the last games in the Individual Cocksucking. Belegon won the Jr. Worlds out of college in Endurance Fucking, but he hasnât competed on this level yet.â Rumple replied, even though Raphy had his back to the man and had addressed the question to Lou, who was now masturbating in a most distracting display.
âInteresting,â Raphy said, tearing his eyes away from Lou and looking back to the arena, âLauren-Hynde and Carl East are already warming up , their chances for gold are really dependant her artistry arenât they, Lou?â
âHmmmm? Oh, yes, sheâs very talented, but this is her first Nordic Combined, look for her to play a more conservative game than either of the favorites,â the sexy woman replied as she bit back a moan.