As I look back, I remember it all started on a Monday. We got up late because I finally begged enough to get my girlfriend, Mandy, to give me some oral sex. While eating breakfast in such a rush I knocked over the salt reaching for the coffee. Mandy told me to take a pinch of salt and throw it over my left shoulder or I'll have bad luck. I laughed at her silliness and refused to take part in some pagan superstitious ritual. On the way to work, I noticed a girl sitting on a bus bench; it looked like she winked at me and when I turned to check on her I rear-ended some old biddy. I hopped out of the car to exchange info and to listen to her harp about all the crazy young drivers on the road today. My car was a wreck so I had to call a tow and finally by the time I thought about checking on the girl on the bench she was gone.
Tuesday I had no car so I had to walk to work; since I had to leave early, that meant no sex from Mandy, oral or otherwise. It's not that far and I'm always saying I should walk to work anyway. As I'm walking down the street, I came to a ladder stretched across the sidewalk. It would have been no problem to go out in the street and around the ladder but I keep hearing my girlfriend blame my accident on knocking over the salt. Just to prove her wrong I walked under the ladder and I finished my walk to work saying to myself, 'see I told you so.' I got to work just in time to see my boss being hauled off in handcuffs by the feds and a big padlock going on the front door. It seems that all his cheating on his taxes finally caught up with him. Now I'm out of a job with no car and in the back of my mind I wondering if my walking under a ladder had anything to do with it. I went home hoping for maybe a little oral from Mandy but she had already left.
On Wednesday, another day with no oral from Mandy. I'm heading to the bus stop to go to the unemployment office when I see a black cat cross my path. I still don't believe in any of this mumbo jumbo but heck, why take a chance so I turn to change my direction. As soon as I turn this kid on a bicycle comes by, knocks me over and I hit my head as I fell down. Someone called an ambulance and the paramedic thought I should be checked for a concussion. As they put me in the wagon, I notice the girl I saw on Monday was sitting at the very bench I was heading for. At least I wasn't concussed and they let me go home, as the only trauma I received was a large bill and a girlfriend that didn't feel up to sex.
