Modern Fairy Tales

Snow White stood before the mirror. 'Fuck! Another fucking grey hair. It isn't even time to see Tony & Guy yet for touch-up.' She spat as she plucked the offender from among its dyed black cousins. Getting older is no picnic for a former beauty and queen. Of course, she supposed it could be worse. Thanks to Botox, liposuction and lifts she looked rather good for a woman her age. It pays to know friends like Demi Moore, who will share information on the absolute top plastic surgeons in Beverly Hills. Thanks too to all that money from her nasty divorce from Prince Charming and the others.

Of course, she had her own income; residuals from her series of porn films, 'Snow White and the Seven Little People.' They were called 'little people' these days. No one used the term dwarf anymore. It simply was not politically correct. She even had an offer recently to update the series. She would need to wear nice lingerie to cover the stretch marks from her three pregnancies and the scars from her tummy tuck. But she was actually considering the idea.

After all, it was not fair that men only got better as they aged. Look at her ex's. Prince had run off with some twenty something bimbo. The girl was younger than their daughter for Christ's sake. Triton wasn't doing too bad himself. He always had some young mermaid to keep his bed warm. Of course, that crazy old scientist was more caught up in his inventions than women. She must have been really drunk that night.

Her three beautiful daughters; Aurora, who still had another eighty years or so to sleep thanks to that damned curse of cryogenics, Ariel and Belle, what mother could ask for more beautiful children. They were her pride and joy. Although she had to reluctantly admit she was beginning to understand the envy that had caused her own step mother to toss her out on the street of LA. But she could never imagine trying to entice anyone with heroine laced apples, the way she had been. Thank goodness that her friends in the industry had looked out for her until along came Prince. He had been Los Angeles' top civil litigator and won her quite a settlement from the old hag, including this stupid mirror that seemed to mock her more each passing day.

Examining the fine lines that ran from the corner of her still sparkling blue eyes, she cursed again. Why was youth wasted on the young? She had so much more knowledge and spirit now than she had when she was her daughters' ages. She loved her girls, but if she had it all to do over again... Looking around at the golden faucets and skylights in her bathroom that overlooked the Pacific Ocean along the Malibu coast, well, she supposed she wouldn't do a damned thing differently.

She had money; enough to buy her all the Botox and surgery she needed. She had friends; those seven little guys were still good for a ride now and again, although these days it was more about sharing the memories. Hell, her fame even got her the occasional young stud when she dared to venture out on a Friday night to Hollyweird. Over all, it was not a bad life, she supposed.

It had been quite some time since she had dared to ask the mirror that fateful question that had led to her own downfall and re-birth so many years before. She tended these days to simply use it as any other mirror; forgetting its magical powers. But sucking in her liposuctioned and tucked tummy even more, she peered deep into its depths. This morning, something made her. She whispered, 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?'

She was not prepared for the boisterous laughter that echoed off the walls of her empty mansion. It took a couple of moments for the mirror's mirth to die down enough for it to even speak. 'Oh dearie, do you really want to know? Well, there is Paris, Brittney, Lindsey, and of course, those three young nubile daughters of yours have to be close to the top of the list too.' The mirror returned to its gale of laughter then.

Picking up the heavy silver hair brush that contained more than one grey hair, she flung it at the cursed mirror. She smiled as she heard it break. She was the one that was laughing as millions of tiny shards tinkled to the floor. Someone should have done that long ago, she thought. After all, there really is no 'happily ever after.'