Once upon a time...
My friends call me Puss. I'm a private investigator. I get the goods on cheating spouses and track down deadbeats. It's not glamorous, but it pays the bills.
I was a cop for ten years and damn good one. Then one night we responded to a fight at a dance club in the warehouse district. By the time we got there, it was a real brawl. Most of the fighting stopped once we showed up inside, but two males were still goin' at it.
My partner Rico and I tried to separate 'em, then the guy I grabbed went for my gun. I got him in a judo hold and he went limp. He was dead by the time the Paramedics got there. Turns out, he was the City Council Chairpersons nephew, so in no time the Police Department fired Rico and I. Excessive force they said. The Medical Examiner said an overdose, not that it mattered.
Rico found a job out west. Me, I got a P.I. license.
The nickname? Some three years back I was workin' undercover to get evidence on a cheatin' husband so his wife could slap him with divorce papers. I went in costume to a Halloween party at an exclusive club where he hung out and sure enough, he was there with another woman.
I was gettin' some good pictures of the lovebirds when some punk decided to swipe the night's receipts. I nailed him and the next thing you know I'm on live TV in my black cat outfit and stiletto boots. The crowd at McGinty's Tavern started callin' me Puss and it stuck.
My latest client is none other than Harland Christopher IV. Yeah. Those Christopher's. The electronics conglomerate.
He arrived at the office a week ago, mad enough to bite the head off a rattlesnake. He was convinced someone altered his fathers will after the old man died. He said to call him 'Ace' and I said call me Puss.
The senior Christopher had cashed in his chips while on his honeymoon in Antigua with his 26-year-old wife. Number six in his 75 odd years. A heart attack was the official cause. Unofficially he fucked himself to death.
Anyway, at the reading of the will, Rosalie, wife number six, got a bundle as spelled out in the pre-nup. Harland II got the company, Harland III a big bundle, and my client got a few mill and a jade cat. Considerin' Daddy was worth close to 900 million bucks, my client got chump change.
He was Daddy's favorite to hear him tell it, so after the reading of the will he figured someone had loaded the dice. He didn't know squat about hirin' a P.I. and asked his chauffeur' so enter yours truly.
I told him this wasn't my usual cuppa herbal tea, but he plunked a roll of bills on the desk that would gag a python and said pretty please. I'm a sucker for blond haired, blue eyed hunks in custom made suits, so I said okay.
The answering machine's light was blinking when I walked in my office after havin' lunch downstairs at McGinty's, one message from Ace plus three from Rosalie Harland. Hearing her voice made me hot. However, I needed to focus on the case. She didn't make it easy though.
***
I met her at the Christopher mansion, an ivy covered brick pile in a part of town where houses are a mile apart behind iron gates and high walls. Ace arranged for me to talk to the mansion's staff and see if they knew anything.
They buzzed me in at the gate and a half-mile later, I arrived. A butler met me at the door and had the staff assembled in the front hall. After talking to them individually, I determined they had no useful information.
I figured I'd better talk to Harland senior's widow, so the butler escorted me to the parlor and said he'd tell her I was here. I was checking out the wood and leather décor when Rosalie came breezing in. She musta been in the pool 'cause she was toweling herself off, her long brown hair glistening and wearin' a bikini that barely covered her tits and pussy. She saw the look in my eye and sat next to me on the sofa.
I tried to keep my mind on the case, but this babe was pure sex. My nips got hard and my panties were wet as she slid nearer, talkin' a blue streak about how much she missed her 'cuddle bear' and how it was so lonely in this big old house, then she stopped talking.
We sat for a minute looking at each other. I reached over and caressed her cheek. She took my hand and kissed it. Something passed between us that made me feel warm inside. I pulled her close and our lips met. Her tongue slid in my mouth and we exchanged lingering kisses. Our hands began to roam and soon we were naked on the couch. She turned around and gave me a mouthful of pussy while her head went between my legs. Damn, that woman could eat. I came four times and so did she. We took a swim, lay in the sun and fucked some more. When I left, my knees were wobbly.
***
Ace said he'd found several discrepancies in the company's financial records and could I call him. Rosalie asked if we could meet for lunch. I wanted to see her again, but back to business.
I had some contacts at the Hall of Records check out the Christopher will documents. As far as the court was concerned, they were all legal and proper. I asked if they'd send me scans of the signature pages.
One thing I did learn from the mansion staff; Ace was the old man's favorite. He had a different mother than the other two, so he wasn't close with his brothers. Harland Senior and Joan, Ace's mother, doted on him, so he led a charmed and carefree life through his twenties.
When his father brought him into the business, he locked horns with his older brothers immediately. Daddy ran interference for him, so he became a vice-president. Now that the old man was out of the picture, a nasty fight for control was brewing on the top floor of the Christopher Building.
My printer beeped and the documents came rolling out. I selected the signature pages, some examples of the old man's and the three brother's handwriting and went to see the Mole.
His real name is Jeremy Todd, but with his thick lenses, prominent nose and receding chin...well, you get the picture. Mole was one of the best forgers goin' until he tangled with some mob heavyweights over phony gold certificates. I owed him a favor so he asked me to help him do a fast fade.
I made sure I wasn't bein' tailed and soon he was peering at the signatures, whistling through his teeth as he concentrated. I looked around at the basement where he lived thinking it was about as cozy as a sewer pipe when he said, "These are fakes."
He went into a lengthy explanation about graphology that I half-listened to; his thumbs down on the will's signatures were enough for me. I left him some cash, hopped in the Z and called Ace. A plan was forming in my mind and I wanted to run it by him. He approved and we were on our way.
***
When I sauntered into Harland II's office I was dressed in a tight miniskirt, low-cut blouse showing plenty of cleavage and a pair of 'fuck-me' boots. He practically ran around his desk to greet me, holding my hand longer than necessary to shake it and looking me over appreciatively.
"Call me 'Hugh'," he said in his smooth baritone. "All my friends do." I smiled prettily at the inference and took a seat, crossing my legs and giving him a look at my shaved pussy.
Yeah, I know. I use my sex appeal when I need to. I'm a woman, dammit and let's face it, most of the time it works.
I proceeded to tell him that Ace had hired me to check out whether the will was phony or not, but I thought he didn't pay me enough for my trouble and wondered if Hugh could make me a better offer. He agreed immediately and doubled what Ace paid me. I was to report to him what I had found out about the will's possible forgery and any moves his baby brother was making regarding the company.
He patted me on the butt as I left his office and invited me to the mansion for a drink or three. I begged off sayin' I had an appointment but I'd stop by another time. Ridin' the elevator down my heartbeat slowed to normal. I was tenser than I realized. I had figured my appearance would distract Hugh to the point where he didn't question my treachery to his brother and I was right. Or maybe it was those blue eyes...
***
When I parked behind McGinty's, I noticed my office light was on. It was off when I left.
I pulled my Glock from under the seat, walked carefully up the back stairs and down the hall. Light shone from under the door, someone was still in there.
I kicked the door open and went into a shooting stance screaming, "Freeze motherfucker!"
