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The story is al fictional parody - it's not true, nor is it approved of by the celebrities named in the stories. Authors write these fictitious stories about famous people for the same reason that Larry Flynt made fun of Jerry Falwell, because they can. The Supreme Court of the United States, the country where this site is located, has ruled that parodies involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United States Constitution. The specific case law on this was decided in the case of "Hustler Magazine, Inc. et al. v. Jerry Falwell" in 1988. No harm is intended toward the celebrities featured in these stories, but they are public figures and in being so, they must accept that they are fair target for parodies by the public. We believe in the first amendment, and more broadly, in the basic principle of free speech and this section may push the boundaries of that principle, but the United States Supreme Court has approved of this type of material. We believe that the Supreme Court was correct in their decision.
Lord of the Rings: Legolas and the Ring of Passion
The sounding surf was deafening that graced the beaches of Triten Bay. Waves crashed at the water's break and white swells rolled. The wind whispered as it passed in constant sandy gusts.
Lying on the sand, face turned slightly from the water's splash, Legolas swayed in the ocean's edge. Unconscious, he floated to a halt on the morning sun's beach. Slight surges from the sea's surf pressed him to land a bit more.
Lying lifeless on the sand with his Bow tightly fisted in his grasp. His breathing shallow and movement none. Soaked from the sea his clothes clung to him. His quiver still attached and half full of long feathered arrows.
The sound of four feet on wet sand came near. Legolas raised his head ankle high and let out a powerful sigh. The gracious beauty of a leg, with a thin chain of silver and a little red stone, churned his desire in a moment's glance. The sweet foot's big toe had a gold band around it. His body went limp, passing out again. His eyes closed to the sight of four bare feet nearby.
......................
His eyes opened to the sun's blinding light through a round window. Turning his head to shield his sight he saw a beautiful Maiden at his side, knitting. Her head darted in surprise as Legolas arose. She jumped to her feet and ran to the door, shouting in a language not known to this elfin.
Legolas stirred but his body was too weak. Sitting up proper was such a strain. He settled for upright when he felt he was not clothed. Pulling the covers to him tight, he glanced around for his belongings. The room was of living but strange things were throughout. Odd shaped glass and chairs of twining branch and vine. Doors and round windows and arches throughout the structured room. A plush cushion bed which he lay upon with a thick cover quilt and pillows full of feathers.
The maiden returned quickly with a man of red hair. Giant in size and wearing green, yet his words seemed gentle as a lamb, "Org oh zine?"
"I'm sorry I do not understand," Legolas struggled to say. His throat was parched and the sea salt taste was still strong.
"Bine yu fot un," The giant man with red hair and green clothes spat.
Legolas gripped his throat and pointed at it. The beautiful blonde haired maiden quickly poured a mug of liquid and handed it to Legolas. She then settled behind the giant again, peering out from behind him with silken skin and softening eyes.
Legolas smiled at her pretty facial charm and drank from the goblet's rim. His eyes squinted from the sun's shining beam. The sun's rays were burst through the round window as if the design were intent. The spotlight aimed to cover only the bed. Peering was the giant of hair that was auburn-red.
His hands on his hips and speaking in a foreign tongue seem so distant from the glances Legolas made at the fair maiden he was drawn to. A slight smile to her he gave. The giant man began to rant and rave. "Peen don fi ni," He yelled.
"I am Legolas, my father was Thanduil, of the Sindarin Elves of the woodland realm. My friends and I are on a quest with the Hobbit who keeps the ring." Legolas managed his words and drank again. His eyes like magnets drawn to the maiden's beauty.
"Hon di quin," the giant man shouted as he turned to leave. The round door shut and the maiden just stood. Her eyes were of big pearls with soft blue spots. Waves in her hair that twisted and curled. Only heightened by her upward smile on rosy red lips. Her fingers were adorned with many rings shiny. As was her earrings of large ovals made of silver and gold. Her standing was long but her looks were longer.
Legolas placed his goblet down next to the bed. Turning his head he slighted a smile to the maiden of beauty. She returned the glow in her facial expression. Finally she sat back in her chair of intertwined vines and went back to her knitting. She began a humming delight that took Legolas's fancy. Her eyes darted his way with short comforting smiles.
"My mother used to sing when I was but a nymph in size," Legolas prized. His smile grew as her tune relaxed the muscles and tension that the situation demised. She hummed with such charm that Legolas settled deeper in his bedding's plain.
His thoughts began racing as the body settled. "What of Gimli and Aragorn?" He questioned quietly. "We have survived and fought in the battle of Hornburg. After the War of the Ring, we journeyed, Gimli and I to visit the Glittering Caves and Fangorn Forest. In the Year 120 FO, after the death of Aragorn, I sailed over the sea, taking Gimli the dwarf with me."
