DISCLAIMER:
The story is al fictional parody - it's not true, nor is it approved of by the celebrities named in the stories. Authors write these fictitious stories about famous people for the same reason that Larry Flynt made fun of Jerry Falwell, because they can. The Supreme Court of the United States, the country where this site is located, has ruled that parodies involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United States Constitution. The specific case law on this was decided in the case of "Hustler Magazine, Inc. et al. v. Jerry Falwell" in 1988. No harm is intended toward the celebrities featured in these stories, but they are public figures and in being so, they must accept that they are fair target for parodies by the public. We believe in the first amendment, and more broadly, in the basic principle of free speech and this section may push the boundaries of that principle, but the United States Supreme Court has approved of this type of material. We believe that the Supreme Court was correct in their decision.
Lord of the Rings: Legolas and the Ring of Passion
The sounding surf was deafening that graced the beaches of Triten Bay. Waves crashed at the water's break and white swells rolled. The wind whispered as it passed in constant sandy gusts.
Lying on the sand, face turned slightly from the water's splash, Legolas swayed in the ocean's edge. Unconscious, he floated to a halt on the morning sun's beach. Slight surges from the sea's surf pressed him to land a bit more.
Lying lifeless on the sand with his Bow tightly fisted in his grasp. His breathing shallow and movement none. Soaked from the sea his clothes clung to him. His quiver still attached and half full of long feathered arrows.
The sound of four feet on wet sand came near. Legolas raised his head ankle high and let out a powerful sigh. The gracious beauty of a leg, with a thin chain of silver and a little red stone, churned his desire in a moment's glance. The sweet foot's big toe had a gold band around it. His body went limp, passing out again. His eyes closed to the sight of four bare feet nearby.
......................
His eyes opened to the sun's blinding light through a round window. Turning his head to shield his sight he saw a beautiful Maiden at his side, knitting. Her head darted in surprise as Legolas arose. She jumped to her feet and ran to the door, shouting in a language not known to this elfin.
Legolas stirred but his body was too weak. Sitting up proper was such a strain. He settled for upright when he felt he was not clothed. Pulling the covers to him tight, he glanced around for his belongings. The room was of living but strange things were throughout. Odd shaped glass and chairs of twining branch and vine. Doors and round windows and arches throughout the structured room. A plush cushion bed which he lay upon with a thick cover quilt and pillows full of feathers.
The maiden returned quickly with a man of red hair. Giant in size and wearing green, yet his words seemed gentle as a lamb, "Org oh zine?"
"I'm sorry I do not understand," Legolas struggled to say. His throat was parched and the sea salt taste was still strong.
"Bine yu fot un," The giant man with red hair and green clothes spat.
Legolas gripped his throat and pointed at it. The beautiful blonde haired maiden quickly poured a mug of liquid and handed it to Legolas. She then settled behind the giant again, peering out from behind him with silken skin and softening eyes.