Chapter 1: Lucy's Job
"No, Lucy. I think it's a bad idea. A very bad idea. I can't agree with you."
"But Richard, it's my first chance at a regular column."
"Can't you be content with freelancing? You've got a good reputation."Β΅
"Freelancing? You call that 'freelancing?' It's more like working for free. Most of my reviews are gratis, and the ones that aren't only pay small honoraria. This would be a real job. And it can lead to better things. I didn't spend four years at UCL to write free reviews."
"But we don't need the money. My salary may not be kingly, but it suffices for us to live."
"It's not about the money, Richard; it's about my career, about what I love. Can't you understand that?"
"Be serious. Can you honestly tell me that being a columnist for
Tentacles and Torture: the E-Zine of Erotic Horror
will help your career?"
"Yes! Yes, I can! Having a monthly review column for anything cinematographic can be a springboard. It will show I'm serious, and that I can review any genre."
"As if 'erotic horror animation' was a genre worth reviewing. No, I don't think you should consider it. And besides, think of what the work environment would be like in an enterprise like that. Some seedy editor constantly trying to take liberties, and, perhaps justifiably so, with a woman who reviews pornographic horror cartoons. God knows what goes on in their office!"
"I can handle myself, Richard. I'm not going to be frightened off by your horny old bogeyman."
"Let's end this discussion for now, Lucy. Please just tell me you'll give it more thought."
"All right, I'll give what you've said some thought, but I don't think I'll change my mind. I've already scheduled an interview for Monday."
A classic and trite 'harrumph!' from Richard, and he walked away. It was his usual response when Lucy wouldn't follow his advice. Into the parlour, then, and a book to read; he knew by bedtime that she'd come to him, accepting what he had said. It was what she had always done since they started living together a year earlier.
Lucy was shy, she knew it, a little too shy for her own good, and truth be told, a little too willing to go along with what others thought. She dated occasionally in Uni, but all her dates wanted sex right away, and she didn't. Fearing her own susceptibility, she never had second dates. Not until Richard, that is. He didn't seem overbearing, but more so rather protective. And helpful. He was full of advice for Lucy, advice on what to wear, which courses to take, how to manage her money, which political party to support, and she generally followed his advice. Except when it came to school.
He thought Film Studies were a waste of time. Either make films or study something more useful, he suggested; there's no future in commenting on someone else's work. But film was Lucy's passion, and she graduated with first class Honours.
He himself was in economic data analysis, looking for a career at the Stock Exchange. After graduation, that was just what he found. Now, with a decent income, he asked Lucy to move in with him. She agreed, and at last shared his bed. Sex was calm and regular; every Saturday night, at his initiation, and consistently missionary.
And so it was that the unemployed University College London graduate in Film Studies came to share a flat and a life with a London Stock Exchange juniour data scientist in capital markets.
Lucy waited a few moments before following Richard out of the kitchen, but she didn't stop to talk to him. Straight into the bedroom, and she plopped down on the bed, engrossed in thought.
He's usually right, she conceded to herself, but it just feels wrong this time. I really want this job; I love cinema. That's why I spent four years studying it. To have a regular job as a film reviewer, that's why. And I don't care what kind of film it is.
But what if Richard is right? What if the editor is some sort of middle-aged pervert? Can I deal with it? Would I let him use me just so I could have the job?
She picked up the phone and dialed.
"Hi, Lucy! What's up? Are you going for it?"
It was Mina, Lucy's closest and best friend. Lucy's friends' and family's ideas of helping her were to tell her what to do, and, just as with Richard, she invariably did what they proposed. Mina was different. Mina always tried to help her find what she really wanted. Not that she always listened to Mina. No, it was usually easier to do what someone else told her than to deal with the responsibility of making her own decisions. Still, Mina stayed by her. From her first year at Uni, Mina befriended her. And often tried to seduce her. But she knew how suggestible Lucy was, and she never pressed her on it, even knowing her friend was likely to give in. Lucy insisted she was straight, and Mina respected that, no matter how strongly she yearned for her friend's alabaster flesh and golden tresses and sweet personality.
"I'm not sure, Mina. Richard is adamant that I shouldn't, and he may be right."
"You always say that, Lucy. What is it you want."
"I really want the job. I've even scheduled an interview for Monday morning. But I'm worried. I don't care so much about the genre; I can review erotic horror as well as any other genre, but I'm worried about the editor."... Richard says he'll probably be a pervert - which, if you ask me, is just paranoia, but... What if he is? What if he does try to take advantage of me?"
"My advice? Flirt a little. Yes, I know that's not very feminist of me, but men can be dicks and they do love to have their... egos stroked. I'm not saying you should sleep with him, or anything, but it won't hurt your career prospects if he thinks he's maybe in with a chance, if it looks like he'll hit on you. You'll have the upper hand, then, and you'll set the tenor of the relationship."
"That sounds good, but I don't think I can do it. I have no idea of what to do."
"It starts with your clothes, and then . . . Well you've seen me in the clubs. Tomorrow's Friday. I'm free. Let me take you shopping for an outfit, and we can discuss the rest over lunch. My treat."
"Okay. Richard leaves for work at eight; how about I come by your place around ten. I really do want to get this job. It's the first real opportunity I've had since grad."
"Ten it is, then. See you tomorrow, Lucy."
"Bye, Mina,"
Lucy showered and readied for bed, sitting propped up by the pillows and reading Pauline Kael's
Deeper into Movies
. It was just after ten when Richard joined her.
"So, have you decided to accept reason?"
"I'm still thinking," she answered as she put down her book and turned off the bed lamp.
For a long time, Lucy pretended to sleep, aware of Richard stirring restlessly beside her in the dark. She felt guilty about avoiding confrontation with him, but frustrated too. Why couldn't he understand that this job would be good for her? That it was important for her? Why couldn't he encourage her for once?
Their morning was silent until breakfast was finished and it was time for Richard to leave for Paternoster Square.
"Well. Lucy, have you seen the light? Will you be reasonable and give up this ludicrous endeavour?"