As Julia left the office of It's Just Sex, she tried not to think about the little break-down she'd just had in front of Ms. Harris. It was embarrassing to know that her desires had been laid out for public inspection. It was even more embarrassing to acknowledge that she had cried, really cried, about them.
Julia was a single mom of four kids who worked a crazy schedule in human services. She was kind and funny, and people generally liked her. She wasn't bad looking, short and round in all the right places with brown hair and eyes. When she laughed she had the attention of everyone in the room.
Intellectually, she knew that she could get laid if she really wanted to, but finding the time to go out and meet people was tricky at best. She had been separated from her husband for over a year and had only managed to bring a man home three times. She was lonely. And she needed sex.
When the interview with Ms. Harris had started, it all seemed fine. Julia simply told her that she was single mom looking for a sexual companion. No strings, no promises, but the reliability of a friend with benefits. A casual friend. Movies, darts, sex. That kind of thing.
Ms. Harris had nodded and taken notes. Then she cleared her throat and said, "Is it OK if I call you Julia? Good then. Julia, most people come to us to have a specific fantasy fulfilled. For instance, a woman who has never had anal sex may come in; a gentleman who is still a virgin in his 30's; a teacher who wants to feel he's seducing one of his students. What you are asking for is something you could seemingly find in any singles bar in the state. Is there something more that you're looking for? Something you haven't told me yet?"
Julia was filled with cold dread as she thought about how to answer the question. She could feel her face flushing and noticed her hands shake. Across the table, Ms. Harris noticed the signs. She got the box of tissues ready and poured Julia a glass of water. She sat down next to Julia. "Take your time. We're not in any hurry. And please know that I've pretty much heard it all here at It's Just Sex. You can't shock me, I assure you."
Julia took a deep breath and opened her mouth. Then she closed it again. It just seemed like a lot to ask for. OK, she thought, just say it.
"Well, here's the thing. I like to give. I'm a pleaser. If you need something done, I'm the person you call. I like to do a job and do it well. Nothing brings me more pleasure than taking care of someone and seeing them happy. But I've only had a sex a few times in the last year and I've come away from each experience feeling a little empty. I've worked hard to make my partners happy, figuring out what feels good for them and doing my very best. Overall, it's been great. I've had the satisfaction of knowing that I've taken each of them to new heights. But none of them have been all that concerned with returning the favor. I've not had a single partner bring me to orgasm in over a year. And it's not that hard, really. It's just that no one has tried. At all. So I guess what I really want is someone who will, I don't know, take care of me, too. It seems silly. I mean, I know I can always get myself off, and I suppose I should be happy with that, but it just seems like…"
Ms. Harris smiled broadly and interrupted. "Is that all? That's your request? You want a partner that's going to make sure you, umm, have an orgasm? Oh, Julia, that's not a lot to ask for. Really, it's not." She went back to her chair and sat down. "What's the best way to reach you?"
"Well, since I'm on call for my job, and I have the kids all the time, it's probably best to email me a phone number and I can just call the guy, if you can find one, and make arrangements. Is that OK?"
"That'll be fine. You'll hear from us soon. Please go from here up to the lab and have your blood work done. Then we can get started."
***************
Several days later Julia was on the phone with Jacob, her match from the agency, again. They were having a seemingly pleasant conversation, when Jacob heard her sigh. "What's up?"
"You know, it's nothing. Well, it's something, but it's not really important. I didn't want to say anything because everything was going so well, but my grandmother died yesterday and I'm under a lot of pressure from my family to go cross country to attend the funeral. But with work and my kids and no money, there's just no way. It's been a long day."
"Can you get away for a little bit? I think it's time I finally bought you that drink."
Julia thought for a moment, "Maybe. The kids are at their dad's. I could meet you for a while. But Jacob, I have to be really honest. It can only be a drink right now. It's that time of the month. And if you don't want to come all the way out here for just a drink, I completely understand."
"Oh, in that case, never mind," he laughed as he answered. "Don't be crazy. A beautiful woman like you alone on a night like tonight? No way. I'll meet you at Dru's in half an hour."
Julia couldn't believe it. Here was a man who was willing to drive across town for drinks. And he called her beautiful. She dressed quickly and even put on a little makeup before leaving.
She was sitting in the corner sipping her whisky sour when he arrived. She saw him a few seconds before he found her and was pleased to see that he was as good looking as the picture he had sent her. He also looked kind. Not like you can always tell just from looking at a person, but he had a friendly smile and made eye contact with the bartender while ordering. She was happy with the match.
He joined her at her table and they shook hands. Then he laughed a little and said, "That was the silliest thing. Come here, you."
She stood up and walked toward his open arms. He embraced her warmly and said, "I'm so sorry about your grandma. Do you want to talk about it?"
She shook her head and said, "No, thanks. But I do want to play darts. Are you up for it?"
They played darts for an hour or so and then Julia got a little serious again. Finally, she said, "You know what? I think I'm going to go. I'm not very good company tonight and you should go do something fun."
"I have an idea. Why don't you and I go over to your apartment? I'll fix you a big bowl of ice cream and we can watch a movie or something. And then you don't have to be alone. Being alone sucks when you're sad."
Julia nodded her head in consent, forcing back a few tears, and said, "Yes, it does. Well, if you're sure, you can follow me back to my place." Stunned, she turned and walked out of the bar with Jacob close behind. [i]Why is he doing this? I told him we couldn't have sex. I really hope he isn't disappointed later.[/i]
After they were inside and comfortably cozied up on the couch with ice cream, Jacob put his arm around Julia's shoulder. She leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. In the back of her mind, she wondered if there was a penalty for not having sex with an It's Just Sex match. After another minute, she decided she didn't care. For the first time in her adult life, she was going to do what felt good.
They chatted about her work and his family. He asked about her kids, looking at their pictures on the wall. The conversation was smooth and seamless and then finally, a comfortable silence settled over them. Time drifted away and everything was still. Julia closed her eyes and rested.
When she felt Jacob's lips brush over hers, she wasn't surprised. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world. She kissed him back and he could feel the months of unfulfilled longing in her soft mouth. Her hands went to his face and she felt the strong line of his jaw and his slightly stubbly cheek. He wrapped his arms around her and she gave herself up to him for a moment.
