"What in the world is going on with you? Don't you have the decency to at least show up to a funeral of someone the queen holds dear?" Muriel spoke loudly as she barged into his office, highly upset that Benedict had not been there.
"Keep your voice down woman, you
are
speaking to the chancellor." He rose as he spoke, immediately going to the door and shutting it calmly behind her.
She turned around and looked to him, the fire in her eyes was enough to tell Benedict that she was upset. While he remained calm on the outside this was something that he did not like to see in her. Inside it tore him up, especially since they had shared that brief but tender kiss. But apparently that had not mattered as much to her, not a single word spoken between the two of them since, except perhaps in a professional manner.
"Are you listening to a word I'm saying Benedict?" She faced him, now even more upset, maybe he had gotten lost in his thoughts once more.
"I'm sorry Muriel, I have been a little distracted as of late. There are things that I can not get out of my mind. No matter how hard I try..." He had been about to make a confession, however the fiery redhead interrupted him before he got the chance to finish.
"That's no excuse to miss Rebecca's funeral. Queen Evelyn can use all the support she can get right now. Do you not care for others? Do you not take into consideration how your actions will make them feel?" Muriel was not as loud as she had been, but judging by the tone of her voice she was still just as upset as she had been but a moment before.
At first he opened his mouth as it to speak, but no words came out. Was she so daft that she could not figure it out on her own? Had she not been paying attention to anything he had spoken to her?
Now he was beginning to become upset, were all of his efforts to show her attention and affection in vain? If Benedict could not talk to the woman he was quickly falling for, then who could he talk to? If he had not Muriel then he had no one. An old fool such as Benedict should have known better than to have trusted his heart to a woman.
"I have my reasons. None of them are of consequence to you." Benedict spoke coldly, clasped his hands behind his back and started to walk toward his desk.
Muriel just stood there and stared. The not so young maiden was a bit taken back by his actions. What had changed between them then and now? She clenched her fists as she turned around and looked to him; the goal to keep her temper in check. It wasn't easy, but with the cues that came from the man before her it quickly became easier.
"But they matter to the queen,
your
queen. She could have used the support of those around her. The least you could have done was shown your loyalty to her." It was about much more than that, however her anger was kept well in check and not revealed.
"I will
not
acknowledge our queen's fondness for a traitorous whore!" Benedict's hands slammed down firmly into his desk, in the process a few pieces of parchment fell to the floor.
"If the queen has reason to believe that she was charmed then we should trust her words, for if we can not trust her then who can we trust?" Muriel literally screamed at Benedict, upset that the man before her was being so stubborn and pigheaded.
"No woman can be fully trusted my dear Muriel. None!" He turned around to face her, his own cold eyes stared straight into hers.
The woman in front of the chancellor took a few steps back. She could hardly believe what had just been said to her. It was a direct insult, flung right at her from a man she thought cared. Something had apparently happened, the man that had begun to open up to her was now more closed off then ever.
"Do you think men are any better? They call women whores yet when they do the same damn thing it shows off his manliness. I saw the way you looked at her after you kissed me, instead of ignoring you took a moment to hesitate and entertain the thought of leaving me for that whore Vivaine. Do not think I am so stupid not to notice such." She did her best to look at him without any emotion, for she knew if any was shown it would end up being tears of pain and she did not wish to give him the satisfaction of seeing such.
"Now it has been confirmed by none other than yourself my dear, you came here with a hidden agenda and are unable to tell the truth about such." He took a few steps toward her as he spoke, eyes locked on hers as if searching for that which he had just spoken of: the truth.
"What in the hells are you talking about Benedict? I came here to question why you did not attend the funeral. It is the words spewing forth from your very mouth that have caused me to doubt your previous actions. You have no one to blame but yourself!" Muriel stared straight back into his eyes, only on the surface of her mind did she believe what she had just spoken.
She had just flung some serious verbal accusations at this man, something that she had not meant to do. Her heart started to scream to her. Muriel wanted nothing more than to take her words back, to let him know that she had not meant to say them. Her heart desperately ached to be on positive terms, to be able to share another one of those kisses that she shared. But she had messed it up, poor Muriel's heart sank as she realized this.
Benedict was now taken back by the words that were spoken to him, had he really done such a thing? He was too blind with anger to see that he indeed had, a proud man to be sure. He had been accused of not caring, something that made him even angrier.
He had given his heart to her, let himself open, but worst of all he had become vulnerable because of the wicked temptress in front of him. "How could I have been such a fool?" He spoke to himself in the midst of his thoughts, not realizing those words had been spoken out loud.
"A fool for what Benedict? A fool for trusting your heart to someone? A fool for making me feel as if I was actually wanted and possibly loved? A fool to now have taken your chance to not sleep with that harlot that tried to charm you in a manner similar to that in which the queen's handmaiden was charmed?"
"Enough!" I have had enough of your unjustified accusations!" Benedict yelled at her as he stormed toward the door, he was not going to stand there and take such beratement from anyone.
"I am chancellor.
No one
, other than the queen herself, may speak to me in such a manner, especially
not
her handmaiden!" Benedict paused as he got to the door, he then turned around and looked to Muriel for a brief moment.
He could clearly see the hurt in her eyes. It was hard for her to believe what she had just heard. Too stunned to speak, Muriel just stood there with her jaw dropped. So much was going through her mind right now, yet the connection between what made her think and what made the words come out seemed to be broken.
"Do not worry, as queen's handmaiden you will not have the time to see me anymore. Just the thought of that should make you much happier than you are now." He snapped at her as he opened the door, he then stormed out without even making an attempt to look back.
"Benedict..." Muriel cried out after him. The not so young maiden broke into tears and fell to her knees unable to move.
Benedict heard the sounds of not only her knees hitting the hard stone floor but also the sound of her sobs. For the first time in a long time her tears tugged at his heartstrings, a feeling of nausea tugged at his gut. Still he did not turn back. Instead of turning back he just kept going.
Four words whispered from his lips as he did so. "What have I done...?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Wait a minute. Why did
I
leave
my
office?" It was almost about ten minutes later that this occurred to Benedict, at which point he spun on his heels and started heading back to his office.
He hoped that Muriel would be gone by the time he got back, not because he did not want to see her but because he had no idea what he was going to say. He had messed up and big time, quite possibly to the point that it would be impossible to repair the rift that he himself had put between them. It was not until the final moments that he had come to the conclusion, the conclusion that Muriel had become his world.
Muriel held his heart in her hands, everything that she said or did got noticed by Benedict. Not only did it get noticed but it impacted greatly upon his mood, more so than he had ever expected for it to. His desire was to speak to her, to hold her, to comfort her. Sure he desired to bed her, but the emotional bond that he shared with her meant so much more, so much so that he would go without pleasures of the flesh if it meant sharing their hearts and souls completely with one another.
Benedict looked up in just enough time to see what was coming, the head rise would prevent him from running into Prince Drest. The older man stopped dead in his tracks, obviously a little confused. Rather suddenly something occurred to him, something that could perhaps save his chances with Muriel.
"You're coming with me." Benedict grabbed the arm of Drest as he continued on toward his office.
"What is the meaning of this?" Drest was more confused than Benedict, but still he went with the chancellor.
In their mad dash Benedict did not say anything, this was not a matter to be spoken of in public. To him it was a matter of great importance, one that would impact him for the rest of his life. Perhaps Drest picked up on the sense of urgency that came from Benedict, whether he did or not the young man did nothing to prevent the physical guidance from the older one.
It did not take long to make it to the chancellor's office. When he opened the door he left out a heavy sigh of relief as no one was in there. No sooner had Drest stepped in behind him then the door shut rather hard. Benedict was obviously not in the mood to mess around. The moment Drest felt the pressure on his wrist release his instinctive reaction to rub it where he had been held.
