Blinding need courses through my veins and steals my breath. It has been two months since Addie was rescued from the society and their human trafficking ring, and she still cannot tolerate my touch. I have not been able to put so much as a hand on her shoulder without her panicking. It breaks my heart. I know these things take time and I would never rush something so important, but I also know Addie. I know that she is waring with herself and that a big part of her just want's to let loose.
I'm doing this for her. She needs this outlet. I lead her into our bedroom, where I have a surprise waiting for her: a giant X, like the ones you'd see in a sex club, with restraint hooks on all four corners meant to keep someone, even as big as me, tied down.
She looks at the X and then back to me, confused.
"Addie, do you want to take back what they took from you? Then take it from me." I say, gesturing to the giant X in the room. "I've thought about nothing else but covering every inch of your body with mine until you forget what it feels like to be touched by anyone else. I won't touch you until you ask me to, but that doesn't mean I don't crave you every second of every fucking day."
I blow out a shaky breath. Just talking about my absolute need to feel her has me rock-hard and aching, but that's not what this is about. This is about giving her back some of what was taken from her. "I want you to take power from me--I want you to feel how it feels to be in control again. I am your safe space, Addie, and I will do whatever it takes to remind you of who you are."
Silence hangs between us as she considers the thought.
She's not convinced, so I continue. "Take my control away, Addie. Hurt me like they hurt you--I can take it. I want to take it from you. I give you my full consent," I say, handing her the leather cuffs that act as restraints for the X. "I know it's not the same as what they did to you, but it will help. Before we start, you have to restrain me. Promise me you wont take my restraints off so I can keep my promise not to touch you until you ask for it. You know I'm not great at self-control when it comes to you."
I smirk slyly but then I swallow hard as I buckle the restraints to my ankles. I've never let anyone restrain me before; this will be a first. But I'm willing if it helps her out of the funk she's been in.
"I don't see how this is going to help," she snaps, looking down at the restraints in her hands.
"Just try it," I say as she buckles the cuffs to my wrists. I strain against the leather as she clips the cuffs to the X, effectively limiting my movement. I am now standing upright fastened to the X in a jumping jack shape that I cannot escape and no amount of struggle will free me. I had this specially made and tested to ensure it would hold no matter what I threw at it. My chest is bare, and I'm wearing only jeans. She sweeps her eyes over me cautiously.
"So, what am I supposed to do now?" she shrugs, eyes nervously darting around the room.
"Whatever you want. Whatever gives you the feeling of power, little mouse," I say, flexing against the restraints. I bend my knees and test the wrist cuffs. The edges bite into my wrist crease a bit, but they are capable of holding my dead weight without the help of my legs to support me; good to know.
"This is ridiculous; restraining you doesn't make me feel powerful," she scoffs, popping her hip to one side and rolling her eyes.
"Doesn't it?" I challenge. "I am wholly and completely yours, at the mercy of your will, and I am in agony, desperate for your touch. I can do nothing to quench the fire burning inside me. Tell me that doesn't fill you with power Adeline. You know I would never do this for any other person on the planet. Tell me that doesn't make you feel fucking powerful baby." She shifts her weight uncomfortably as I confess my desire for her once more, but she says nothing.
I need to get her blood boiling. I am going to have to say some fucked up shit for her to loosen up. I put a little extra grit in my tone as I begin to call her out with a challenge I know she won't back down from.
"Right now all I want is to hold you down and drive myself deep inside that pretty little pussy." I lick my lips, my eyes darkening, and I ball my fists. It's not a lie--I fully intend to make her mine, to remind her of what is mine... but not today, not until she wants me to. Right now, I'm just fueling the fire inside her, the one she doesn't even know exists. She has to burn some of that rage off, or she's going to burn out.
"What did you just say to me?" she bites back.
"I said that if I weren't in these restraints, you'd be under me by now, and I'd be fucking your sweet little..."
The slap lands hard, cutting off my speech. It stings my cheek, and I taste the faint, metallic tang of blood in my mouth. I dart my tongue across my lips to taste it. Atta girl, I think. A deep, barely audible moan resonates in my chest. I crave her touch, in any form she's willing to give it--even this. It's been so long since I've felt anything from her. Besides, it feels like atonement. I failed to protect her when it mattered most; she's hurting because of me. So, I'll keep taunting her, letting her take her rage out on me until we both feel better.
"I know what you're doing, Zade, and it won't work. I'm not going to take my anger out on you. It's not right." She sighs, defeated.
"Come on, Addie. Did you forget how I forced you to your knees in the driveway and made you gag on my cock when you didn't want to?" I smirk, venom dripping from my words. "Or how I stalked and groomed you for months before making you beg me for it?"
"Stop it, Zade," she warns.
"Oh, there's no stopping me, Addie. Once I find what I want, I take it." I lick my lips and stare her down.
"You asshole," she huffs under her breath.
I laugh as her eyes narrow, and she takes the bait. "You fucking asshole!" she screeches and slaps me again, my head snapping to the side. "You motherfucker," she screams, hitting me with half-hearted blows to the chest until she's out of breath and tears pool in her eyes.
I let out a low moan and coo condescendingly. "Mmm... that feels good, baby. Keep it up, and I might just come."
"Zade," she scolds sharply, pounding her fist onto my chest harder this time. That one's going to leave a mark, but I continue to egg her on.
"That's right, baby. Say my name again, just like that, little mouse."
She makes a disgusted sound as she reaches for the restraints, done with my taunting.
"Do not let me out of these restraints, Addie. I promise you, there's nowhere you could run where I wouldn't find you and fuck you. Unless you're ready to be my good little girl and give me everything I want, Do not touch those restraints." I annunciate every word. Even I'm surprised when what I meant as a hollow threat turns into a real promise dripping with danger.
I'm livid now, in full predator mode. I want out of these fucking restraints NOW. I knew this would be difficult when we started, but now I want her so badly I can't stand it. I snarl, testing the restraints to their full capacity, thrashing and growling in frustration. I chuckle at how absurd this is and work to calm the beast inside me. Keep it together Zade, I think and work to slow my breath. I swallow hard. She's looking up at me through her dark eyelashes, doe-eyed and frightened, and all I want is to eat her alive. I need to get free.
My voice comes out honey-smooth, dangerous. "Be a good girl and let me out, Addie." I strain against the restraints again, meeting her stare. I'm well aware of what's lurking behind my eyes--there's no hiding the predator that wants to be free. I hadn't anticipated how much these restraints would affect me. Now, my heart pounds like a wild animal, and my patience wears thin.