You and I

2022/12/28

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After a few months of Uber in L.A., I had moved on. I had just about forgotten about you before you appeared as my next ride. I could have rejected it, I probably should have rejected it, but I was wearing my mask and beanie l, like always, so it would just be a whatever. I had chosen to be silent as a driver generally, so there shouldn't have been anything special about picking you up.

When I arrived, we traded pleasantries and you took your place in the back seat. The trip was relatively short, but I could feel your eyes burning a hole in my face as you glared through the rear view. It was more painful than I had anticipated, so I couldn't resist prodding.

"It's a little rude to stare so hard."

I match eyes in the rear-view, but you don't break contact, nor do you respond or break your silence, so I refocus back onto the road.

As we arrive at the location, I silently admonish myself; now I know where you live, which puts me in a dangerous position because of my previous obsession over you. Before climbing out, you invite me inside.

"Come inside with me."

"Sorry Ma'am, I have rides to make and I can't afford to quit yet."

"$200 a day right? That's what you figure? I'll give you 300 if you quit early and join me."

Silently I curse you, rich bitch thinks she can just throw money at something and get whatever she wants! I should say no, I should tell you it breaks my boundaries, but I kick myself, because I choose to give in.

"I'm not parking here. Where do I put my car?"

You smile an evil smirk that scares me a bit, but the fear is part of why I keep going. 'This is a mistake', was the thought running through my mind as you directed me to park behind your perfectly good car, which sparked more frustration. We climb out and I obediently follow you up to your door and into the room beyond.

"Tea?"

"Sure..."

It takes less time than I expected for you to return with the hot tea. I pull my mask down to my neck and take a sip. Like all hot tea typically does, it burns the taste buds off my tongue. I can't hide my grimace and discomfort.

"Yuck, I hate Green Tea!"

"You would prefer Chai with a little honey and cream?"

"Yes actually, that would be lovely."

"Too bad, so sad, I drink tea like an adult."

Cheeky bitch. But I kept that thought silent. For some reason, I still cared about what you thought of me. A silly, amateur mistake that simply revealed my own desperate desire for love and attention. It made me sick. Or maybe it was the green tea; either way I put the cup down on a flat surface nearby.

"So what do you want? Why am I here?"

You crack another smile that I barely had time to register before you dropped your little dress over your shoulders and let it fall to the floor before nimbly stepping out, leaving the only garment to cover your bare body: a black fabric thong, stretching and stressing to contain and conceal the hidden prize lying in between your legs, while also accentuating your near perfect peach of an ass.

And what a sight to behold! I'd see it before of course, I indulged in the sex tape myself, and even before that I managed to accurately image a great deal based solely off your photos; but as anyone will tell you, no camera can capture the accuracy and detail of reality, and in my view was a body beyond my ability to imagine. Wow.

I barely had the willpower to prevent myself from standing at attention, and I wanted to melt under your fickle smile and pointed gaze. Then... Rage. You were toying with me, this is a power play, we're playing this stupid fucking game again!? Whatever, I won't lose.

"Sorry, I don't fuck strangers."

"Hah! We barely count as strangers, do we?"

"I'm sorry, do I know you? Have we met?"

"You think I didn't see you? You obsessed over me for two years, filling notebooks with my name, choosing to criticize and critique constantly, and asserted your intellectual dominance over everyone in my comments section, and you really thought you were invisible? Are you an idiot?"

I was struck through the heart, you were right on target. First came the tinge of fear, then the anxiety tornado in my chest began to rip me apart from the inside out, and finally... The rage.

"You knew!? You knew and you let me believe it was all in my head you stupid bitch! Why would you do that!?

Tempers flared.

"It's not my fault you can't take a fucking hint! What did you expect me to do, call you out on live television!? How much more obvious could I have possibly been!? And you clearly knew what was going on! How is your self doubt and your self loathing my fucking fault!?"

I felt the urge to throw something at you. You were right, and it pissed me off.

"All I wanted was communication! A text, a DM, something that said, 'Hi! I'm here! I find your fucking presence valuable and I want to know you better!' Just one fucking concession! For you to do what I wanted just fucking once! For some sort of equal exchange of selves!"

"Oh my God! One concession!? What do you call all the things I did to affirm you!? All the times you asked me to give you a sign that I could see you and I brought you fucking rainstorms and sunshine!? All you're fucking interested in is a goddamn relationship that leads to sex! All you want is to fuck me!"

"So!? That's literally how I express love!"

"So!? So!? So what!? So what if that's not what I want from you!? So what if I've been through this so many fucking times that when a walking red flag comes along and TELLS ME NOT TO MESSAGE HIM, TELLS ME NOT TO FALL FOR HIS STUPID TRICKS, THEN I AM UNDERSTANDABLY WEARY!?"

I pause. You caught me again, and I'm at a loss as to how to respond. I just realize how we've been inching closer and closer with each outburst. I'm close enough to see the visible anger in your eyes and if I continue, I'm going to get so angry I cry. I won't let that happen.

"All you had to do was give me what I wanted, just once, one little message. You had your chance, I won't let you toy with me any longer!"

As difficult as it is, I turn from a form I could have easily fallen to worship, and try to walk away. I lost my self control during the argument, and the sweet release of emotion mixed with the sexual frustration left me solidly and openly aroused and I needed to refocus. But I lost that thought when I felt your hands slip beneath my shirts, into my track pant's waistband, and your nails dig roughly into my hips. It had been a long time since I'd been touched, and in my desperate longing for intimacy, for a single, long, moment, I leaned into you. Your nails were short enough to remain rigid and unbending, yet long enough to clearly distinguish themselves from the cold of your fingertips. It felt from the way they were tearing at my skin that you had subtly filed them to a sharpness, but one couldn't tell from a simple glance. Suddenly, I remembered the rage, and tried to struggle free.

"One little message? And ruin the whole thing!? Like we both know it would have!? And besides, you and I both know that's not what you wanted. You already said you love being denied, love being teased, that if I gave in too easily then you'd lose interest! I'm doing exactly what you wanted me to do, and you're just a glutton for this type of abuse."

"You... You're just a scared little girl that needs control and dominance! You couldn't see us as equa-!"

While I speak, you run your right hand forward and grip the base of my cock, squeezing and holding the shaft in a firm, tight grip. Your hands are a little cold and I accidentally let out a pleasurable exhale as my body breaks into goosebumps.

"Says the 30 year old boy writing an erotic fanfiction about me. Mmmm, very warm, are you sure you're mad at me? That you really want to exit our dynamic?"

My voice is hushed as my breathing becomes labored, my sensitive, deprived body stops responding to my will, as I slowly melt under your soft hands and sharp nails.

"Lani please..."

I struggle for breath as you finally release my left hip and I willingly relax into your body, your hand slipping quietly between your legs and under the fabric, covering your fingers in the warm, sweet juices; before reaching forward. Your right hand releases it's soft, firm grip and pushes open the elastic of my waistbands, exposing me to the chilly air; while your left moves, now unimpeded, back to the shaft of my cock. Using the warm, juicy liquid to cover and lubricate my dick, you began to slowly, firmly stroke, up to the head where you tease the tip for just a moment before rubbing your hand back down. I've closed my eyes, completely enthralled, gasping for air, exhaling with pleasure.

"It's a little cold, don't you think? And, unlike a certain someone, I'm rather... Bare. How are you going to remedy this 'oh so terrible' situation?"

I smile, and manage to blurt between breaths...

"Your house... Change the ac..."

At this you stop stroking, release your grips and reach across my chest with your hand, digging your nails into my collarbone and pull me around. I twist rather willingly, the small pains simply exaggerating the pleasure. I'm stunned as you pull my head down into a kiss, which I wholly fall into, but before I can try to push the kiss further, I feel my mask being pulled off and discarded while my beanie is slipped off my head, allowing my curls to fall and flail out.

I'm snapped back to reality, my senses reignite and my will returns.

"Give me back my beanie!"

I practically yell at you, attempting to firm my voice and regain some control; and to my immediate displeasure, you chuckle, clearly not interested in listening. You pop the black fabric beanie atop your head and practically dance to the stairs, your nude figure casting enticing silhouettes on the walls.

"Maybe I'll give it back, maybe not. Maybe you'll have to come get it? What did you think of my most recent spicy photoshoot?"

You seem to slowly crawl up the stairs, inch by inch, moment by moment, dainty leg by dainty leg, teasing and daring me to come after you.

"Sex kitten was the first thought to come to mind, I wasn't expecting it on the story feed and I got lost in the arousal for a moment. I never wanted to look away."

I stride forward to the stairs, keeping a high pace, but as I get closer you match it and I practically chase you up the stairs and into a bedroom.

"Sex kitten? Is that where this erotic claws thing is coming from?"

"Give me my hat back you stupid, self obsessed, physically insecure bitch!"

"That's the second time you've called me that."

"Called you what?"

"Stupid bitch. You really think that of me?"

"If it hurts, makes you feel bad, it's doing its job."

"And you're accusing me of being controlling and power obsessed? Insecure are we? Being honest about hurting me doesn't make it any better."

"So? I wasn't trying to be good."

"So?! Fine. I'll take the power back from you."

"Oh yeah? And how do you expect to do that?"

"Woof!"

"What?"

"What if I enjoy being called a little bitch? What if-"

You lean forward on the bed, posing on all fours.

"What if I get a little turned on when a man calls me a stupid little bitch? Not so powerful then, are you?"

"..."

"Woof woof you stupid boy! I at least have experience with dirty talk, I can get comfortable with it, unlike a certain inexperienced someone."

"Give me back my hat!"

"Why don't you come get it if it's that important?"

You tease me as you lie back and lounge against the headboard in this entirely too large bed. I grumble as I climb onto all fours and move toward the head of the bed, trying to keep balance as I do. I'm stopped by a foot placed directly on my face and you drag your toe down, across my lips and onto my chest. I move my body forward but you force my torso erect with an unwavering and surprisingly flexible leg, planted firmly on my chest. Once I'm stopped and can move no further forward, you slip your foot under my shirts and pull upwards, leaving your toe to hang on my collarbone, my shirts wrapped around your ankle.

"I'm cold, and I don't like being cold alone. And clothes aren't allowed in this bed anyway. How will you solve my dilemma?"

As I began to pull my shirts over my head, I feel you begin to trace your toes down my chest and grip my waistbands, hooking them to your toes and lightly nudging them down, temptingly, suggestively, daringly.

"So what's so important about these kama sutra positions you're so obsessed with, my little conqueror?"

"It's not the positions or actions that are important, it's the mindset, the philosophy that's so important."

You pin the crotch of my pants down so I can slip out of them.

"The philosophy?"

"The philosophy that sex is sacred, that sex and pleasure are a part of love, that like love, it's just as, if not more important to be selfless and giving than selfish and demanding. When you give love, it is infinite, and when you give in the intimate and sexual moments, it fuels itself the same way. That the partners body and partners pleasure is just as much your own body, your own pleasure as is yours, theirs. That's what I got from it anyway."

I begin to lean in and slowly kiss your neck, then down your collarbone, to your sides and ribs, then to your stomach and as I continue down, I pull away the last bit of fabric concealing your body. As I do I kiss your legs all the way down and slip the thong off you. I kiss from the bottoms of your feet, up and around to your knees, into your inner thigh and finally, finally, I kiss your lips with a smile.

"Ready?"

"Ready... Wait... Come up here."

I lift my head from where I'd already begun and bring it to your face. You caress my chin in your hand.

"Are you really mad at me?"

"I was livid with you yesterday, I was angry with you the day before, this morning, I was simmering. Now? No, I'm not upset with you."

"Then, are you really going to leave me Alexander?"

"I have to my love, I can't keep going like this."

"But on New Years?!"

"I never celebrated holidays, new years is one of the few important dates for me. New years is going to be so lonely for me... I'm sorry, I can't stay like this."

"Then, just this once, fuck me, actually fuck me. Don't tease and turn me on, just for tonight, just this once, be one with me."

I grin and look into your eyes before bringing your hand to my lips, planting a kiss atop it.

"As you wish my queen"

I brace my knees as I move back slightly, pulling your right leg with my left arm, bracing your left arm by pulling with my right until you slide, comfortably, safely into a prone position on your back.

"This is one of my favorites"

I pull your leg over my shoulder and begin to advance, before I feel you resist.

"I fail to see how this position will make me any warmer. I want to entangle our bodies together, I want to feel you with as much of me as possible."

I smile, and lie down at your side. I pull your leg over my hip and squeeze your waist and back closer to me, bringing our bodies as close as possible. You're warm and I feel like I'm melting into you.

"It's been a little while, I think this is as close to what you want as I can get. Ready?"

"Yes, I'm ready"

I pull and position our bodies one final time, I hear you moan as I enter, but I'm distracted by the intense reminder of what heaven feels like.

A place where we become one with the sheer pleasure of love, of sex, a place where my dick is enveloped in the sweetest juices, cradled on all sides by a warm lover, a place of nothing other than bliss. Oh, how I missed this place, how I missed being one with another, even just this once, just for tonight, just one last time.

We kiss and cradle, we thrust and moan and breath and become entangled with our arms, our legs, our bodies, our souls.

And we are the most beautiful being ever beheld by the universe.

We are.