Wrestling with Celebrity

CHAPTER I

1

I awoke to the sun streaming through the windows, forming ice picks, and jabbing through my eyelids and into my brain. Some bastard had filled my neck and shoulder muscles with rusted barbed wire, there was a Linkin Park concert in my head, a small rodent had died in my mouth, and my stomach was sending distress signals to what was left of my brain. I also heard a voice talking to someone.

"No, he hasn't told me what's wrong yet, Vince..., I haven't got a clue..., Same as before you sent him on medical leave, he works out, he drinks, and now he takes me out on dates sometimes..., No, it really ain't a sign of improvement, he's just doing that for the same reason as the other two things, to keep from dealing with what's bothering him. It's kinda' scary. I'll catch him just staring off into space, and then he'll flash this dazzling smile at me and ask me if I want to go out, and I'll say 'sure,' but that smile, it doesn't reach his eyes. They're just these black pits of pain. It's almost like the smile is there to keep this scream of pain from escaping, and I don't know what to do..., I will..., yeah he's working on songs for his next album, and they're beautiful, but..., anyone listening to it might have to be put on suicide watch..., yeah that depressing..., You too, Vince, bye." She sighed after she hung up. Damn. I was hoping she'd think McMahon was being silly, but she knew better. You can't hide shit from your friends, I guess.

"You know, if'n you were worried, you might've tried talkin'

to

me, instead of

about

me," I drawled from the bed.

"Jesse! I didn't know you were awake...," Danielle started to stutter out an apology, but I interrupted her.

"Don't worry," I gave a weak chuckle, "I should've known you can't hide some things from your friends. I give. Let me shower, and have some sort of breakfast, with

lots

of coffee, and I'll see if I can't go ahead and get this off my chest. Maybe then I'll stop driving the self destruct express."

2

I walked downstairs in a robe, wearing shades. Hangovers are the gods' way of reminding you to, as a DJ once said, "Use it; don't abuse it." I heard a skillet sizzling, and smelled bacon, coffee, and eggs. My stomach sent conflicting messages, desire and the urgent need to throw all systems into reverse. Danielle smiled at me, but I saw signs she'd been crying. Shit. This ain't gonna be easy, but her and Vince were right, if'n I didn't talk, it'd kill me.

"Danni, what're your feelin's for me? Truthfully."

"You're a dear friend, why?"

"'Cause if'n they are anything more, I've got to find someone else to talk to, or you'll get hurt. I've hurt enough people in my life, and don't wanna' add to the list. Now, was that an honest answer?"

She sighed, not a good sign, and looked at me while I made a cup of coffee. "Truthfully, I don't know. There

might

be something there, but you date several people, you're honest about it, and you don't show any favoritism, but it's a little confusing. You treat all of us like we're special, which is just schizo, if you ask me. Sometimes I'm torn between wanting to kiss you, and wanting to kill you. That a more honest answer?"

I smiled at her. "It'll do. As long as you didn't say 'I think I'm in love,' I can tell you what's up. Sit down, I'll finish breakfast." I cooked and collected my thoughts, making a southern breakfast, i.e., greasy and fatty. I'd work out more to keep the sins off my body, and I knew that despite her diet and exercise regimen, Danielle enjoyed food like this, too. I made bacon, fried the eggs in the grease, washed the skillet, and made French toast. I then made some O.J., and dumped the coffee and got out the chicory coffee I'd brought. Nice girl, Ms. Fishel, but who makes friggin' Folgers(tm) when you have gourmet coffee right there? I reached into the fridge and nibbled on some cheese to cleanse my pallet from brushing my teeth.

"Okay, here you go," I said, sprinkling some powdered sugar on the French toast. "

Viola

!" She smiled.

"Sadist," she accused, "Do you have any idea of how much aerobic activity I'm gonna' have to do to work this off?"

"Blah, you don't need to, you look perfect." She looked at me and smiled. I made us both a cup of coffee, making sure to lace hers with plenty of sugar and cream. I make coffee that can be used in lieu of turpentine. "Okay, I guess it comes down to this. Do you really want to hear what's wrong? I never showed up to work drunk, but my life was spinning enough out of control that Vince made me take a sabbatical, so you know something's got me fucked up. Do you really wanna' know what?"

"Jesse, if you don't talk, I really think it's gonna' kill you. So talk."

3

"Okay, it started...," I laughed, "Hell, it all

really

started when I was fifteen, to tell the truth. We'll just gloss over that part, with 'boy meets girl, boy becomes best friends with girl, boy foolishly falls in love with girl, and then, boy loses girl, and nearly dies of broken heart.' Fast forward to recent events. Well, I had just got done with a show, and was gettin' ready to do a meet'n'greet, you know, shake hands with the fans, sign autographs, get a couple of photos taken, when one of the security guys comes into the locker room and says, 'Yo! Jesse! Some one out here says they know you!' Well, I tell him, 'Yeah, everyone knows me. If'n they ain't on the list, tell 'em to wait for their autograph with everyone else,' He says, 'They said to tell you they know you from Archer City!' Okay, that made me pause. I get done with my hair, and tell him to let whoever it is in. I see Bobbi, the girl I mentioned earlier. You coulda' knocked me over with a feather, and I feel my traitorous heart start to melt, just like always, and have to remind myself I don't love

her

anymore, I love the

memory

of her." I pause, and light a cigarette. Danielle

hates

when I smoke in her house, but I need one. My eggs are congealing into an unappetizing mess, but the French toast and bacon are gone, and so's the O.J. I pour a second cup of coffee for my self, and offer more to Danielle, she declines. "You still okay? If this is too heavy, or too much of a head trip we don't have to continue." Damn. For some reason, there's a frog in my throat. Plus some of the toast must be stuck there, 'cause there's also a lump of something there.

"Go on. You need to talk. Right now, forget last night, forget our first night together, I'm a concerned friend. Now tell your story."

"Okay, you asked for it...,"

CHAPTER II

1

As I spoke, and gave her an edited version, my thoughts ranged back to that night. I'd just announced my run for the Tag-Team belts. My partner and I said to prove we were worthy of the belts we'd take on the Brothers of Destruction at the next PPV, which got the crowd fired up. I had just gotten out of the showers, and was getting the tangles outta' my hair, when one of the security guys came in.

"Yo, Jesse, Got someone out here who says they know you!"

"Yeah, everyone knows me since the album and gettin' on WWE. If they ain't on the list, tell 'em to go to the meet'n'greet and wait for their autograph like everyone else."

"They said they knew you in Archer City, that youse was friends with 'em." Hmm. Not a lot of people knew I lived there at one point.

"Archer City, huh? Okay, let 'em in after I get done with my hair."

"Sure thing." I tied back my mane into the top knot/pony tail combo everyone associated with my character while I was growing it out for Locks-of-Love, and pulled on my shirt. I turned around and saw a true blast from my past.

"Hey, Jesse, or should I say 'Jesse Lee?'" asked someone who I had debated over never wanting to see again, and being willing to sell my soul to see again. I forgot to breathe for several seconds, and had to remind myself that, while I like blue, as a skin tone, it sucks unless you're gettin' ready for battle. I breathed, so people wouldn't think I'd painted wode on myself.

"Damn! Bobbi, it's been forever, girl!" She grinned, and I felt my heart start to melt. *

Chill with the Pavlovian responses, damn-it!

* I thought angrily to myself. *

You're just in love with her memory, not her anymore, you don't even know her anymore

!* It helped a little. "Hey, let me introduce you to some buddies.

Mark!

" I hollered out. "Stop scowling, she's a friend, no need for that Kayfabe BS, here. Mark, meet Bobbi. He says he's from Death Valley, but he's actually from Houston, so he's from our neck of the woods, too."

"Nice to meetcha'. Jesse, you gonna be ready for our spot in the meet'n'greet? Where I accept your challenge?"

"Yeah, sure thing. Bobbi, just remember, don't freak, this big goon is gonna' tie me into pretzel knots, after that, we'll grab a bite, catch up on old times, okay?"

"Sure thing. It's an honor meeting you, Mr. Taker."

He laughed. "Actually, Mr. Calaway, but just Mark to my friends," he turned to me, "This one's cute, keep her around."

Bobbi looked at me. "This one?"

"Oh, wow, I gotta' get to that meet'n'greet!"

2

We relaxed and caught up over a late dinner, and were on our second bottle of wine.

"...so, while it was tough letting my parents raise my kids, the Airforce gave me some direction in life. I think it's really helped straighten me out. So, how'd you get the wrestling gig, and why?"

"Well, the how is easy. The organization I was with got hired to do a charity gig in L.A., Vince saw something in me he likes, I got an agent, he hammered out the sweetest contract any of the wrestlers ever saw, and,

viola

, fame and fortune. He also hammered out a recording contract, and is working on a movie deal. As for why, lots of reasons. I guess the main ones are to feel close to my dads. My dad, he worshiped the Von Erichs, and was convinced Michael Hayes was Satan himself, so even though he died when I was ten, I get to be close, and wrestling is part of the Mexican culture, so I also get to be close to my birth father. Plus, you can't ask for better publicity for the album I've got out."

"That's sweet."

"Yeah, yeah. I also get to spout my political views to millions this way, maybe make a difference. That and with Make a Wish Foundation, I feel like I'm doin' good." I watched as the candles flickered and wavered, without a breeze. "I think I've had too much wine. Wanna' grab a cab?"

"Sure, but let's go to your place for a nightcap." I smiled. I was falling in love all over again, and maybe this time would be different. I got up and made two calls, one to the hotel, the other to a cab.

3

The lights were dim in the suite I was in. We kissed. It was tender and fierce, intense in its gentleness. I thought my heart would burst from emotion. Sex is great, but making love is a completely different ballfield. I led her to the bedroom, and she gasped at what I'd arranged there. The bed had been strewn with rose petals, and candles were on every surface.

"Yeah, corny, I know. Best I could come up with on short notice."

"No, not corny at all." She looked up at me with her eyes shining. Right then, if she'd asked, I'd have slain dragons for her. "You've waited a while for this, haven't you?"

"Only seventeen years, give or take. A blink in the scheme of things, or an eternity." I kissed her again, and swept her up in my arms. I carried her to the bed and gently laid her down...,

CHAPTER III

1

I had the woman of my adolescent dreams, the person I considered my soulmate on the bed before me. It's gonna' make me sound like a chick, but I wanted to weep for joy. I gazed deeply into her hazel eyes, made luminous by wine, candle light, and emotion, reached over for the remote to the stereo, and turned it on, having asked the hotel staff to put in my love song mix.

"

'CAUSE I'M T-N-T!

" Shouted the speakers, nearly making me jump out of my skin. I quickly turned it off. We both looked at each other.

"'Was supposed to be romantic music." We looked at each other another minute, then started laughing.

"I'm dyn-o-mite!" she screeched between gasps and laughter.

"Gods! That nearly gave me a heart attack!" I was gasping too, and laughing so hard my ribs hurt and tears were coming out of my eyes. I got up and replaced the c.d. "This should be better." The Nails' love song from their "Dangerous Dreams" album came on, "Hello, Janine."

"

Ain't it funny,

Ain't it funny how things change?

But, sittin' here, next to you honey,

I can't believe I've fallen in love again.

'Cause, I remember heart ache,

And I remember pain,

And I remember swearing to myself

I never wanted to see you again.

But, everything must change

Nothin', I said Nothin' remains the same!

And I find it hard to believe myself,

But my arms are open again!

"

While they were singing, I was kissing her, running my hands through her hair, falling more and more in love. She looked up at me and undid my hair, and pouted.

"Where are the curls?"

I chuckled. "The tails straighten it some. In the morning, it'll look like I've got an afro, trust me."

She laughed, and ran her fingers through my hair. "It wraps around your finger, trapping it," she looked into my eyes, "Just like it's owner can trap hearts." I kissed her again, and started working my way down her body. I nibbled and kissed her neck, working my way lower, removing her blouse, and her bra. I gently massaged her chest, and kissed the freckles I found between her breasts.

"Ugh, I hate my freckles."

"I love them, just like..., I love them." She grabbed my hair and pulled me to her mouth and kissed me ferociously, stealing my breath. I went back down and nuzzled her nipples for what seemed like an eternity, actually causing a few climaxes as she lay there, before removing her skirt and panties. I kissed and licked my way up her thighs, and slowly started to lick her labia. Soon I was fluttering my tongue along it, teasing her, never coming in contact with her clit, but almost, always just almost, before finally attacking it, kissing it, caressing it, licking and sucking on it. Soon her wails were drowning out the stereo, and I ripped my own clothes off, mounting her...,

CHAPTER IV

1

Danielle looked at me, bringing me out of my reverie. I sighed, "Well, we went out to dinner, drank too much wine, laughed, caught up on old times, and then went back to the hotel, where we..., uhm," she knew I had sex with other women, but I imagine she didn't need to hear me say so. I also imagine she didn't need me to say that it was making love this time, at least for me. She smiled at me.

"You had sex." I nodded.

"Any way, we stayed there for a couple of days, reconnecting with each other. Laughing, and..., and...," I looked up at Danielle. I saw concern, but no hurt in her eyes. "And falling in back in love. At least, I was. I woke up one morning and found this on the pillow next to mine,"

2

The morning sun streamed in through the windows, gently warming me, and waking me up. I smiled and stretched, encountering a piece of folded paper on the pillow next to me.

*Huh, wonder what this is, and where Bobbi is

?* I mused as I got up. I decided to hold off reading it 'til after breakfast. I called and ordered a couple of omelets, and jumped in the shower. I got out, and read...,"

3

Danielle opened up the page, and read:

"Dear Jesse,

These last few days have been like heaven, or a page out of someone else's' life for me. You've been gentle and attentive, and caring. To tell the truth, I've fallen for you, but I'm not what you need right now. I'm still getting my act together, until then,

Love

Bobbi"

4

"Wow. She just left?"

"Yup. I don't know why, either. I've run it over and over in my head, and can't decide if she was just lettin' me down easy, or if she was tellin' the truth, hence the goin' nutzoid. All I really know is..." all of the sudden the lump in my throat was the size of a boulder, I felt my face twist, "I miss her, and I wanna' know what the hell's wrong with me? I've had two failed marriages, and apparently women love me, they just can't fuckin' stay with me!" The last came out in a wail of pain. She quickly came around the table and held me, as I wept.

"Shhh, It'll be okay...," she started making all of those meaningless noises that people make when they comfort the broken.

CHAPTER V

1

It had been a long day, and I was in that strange, gray twilight between wakefulness and sleep when I heard Danielle talking on the phone again.

"Yeah, you called, Vince?..., Well, he's finally opened up, but it's gonna' take a while to put Humpty Dumpty back together again..., Vince, I'm

not

a therapist, and I'm not a messiah, so don't expect miracles, just him opening up was a major step..., Well, that's personal, if he wants you to know, he'll tell you..., Don't use that language with me! I'll hang up and let you stew in your own damned juices!..., Okay, apology accepted..., Right now, he's better, his opening up was like lancing a boil, it got a lot of the poison out, so he can heal..., How am I?" She sighed, "Not too great to tell the truth..., It's not important..., Okay, I'll tell you, he's a dear friend, and yes, the friendship comes with benefits. I knew on one level he slept with nearly any one he wanted," she laughed, "Yes, I said nearly, he still can't get a date with the Olsens..., yes he wants both at once, the greedy fuck..., Yes he tried asking both at the same time, seriously, he said he thought they'd appreciate the honesty..., Anyway, but I just heard just about the hardest thing a girl can hear from a guy..., No, he's not dumping me, but something nearly as bad..., I can't tell you, Vince, that's between me and him..., Yes it has to do with what's making him self destruct..., Why did he choose me?..., Well, I think it's because he looks at me like a lucky charm, he met me the same night he got your contract, I set him up with that agent you cuss daily, and also, he'd always wanted me, and he got me that first night..., Yes the first night, you don't understand how charming he was, just the right amount of awkwardness and confidence," she laughed again, "When he went to introduce himself, he got the names backwards, and then had the aplomb to laugh at himself, that's pure gold, trust me, shows he's human enough to be nervous, and cool enough that it doesn't matter, you can't practice that..., Well, this thing has shaken that confident core of him, and it's gonna be up to the people around him to help him find it again..., Yes, even he suffers self doubt, and right now, it's bad..., I don't know, but I'll try, 'bye, Vince." I drifted off; feeling her lay down and put her arms around me, comforted that she, at least, would still be there tomorrow.

2

"Come on, sleepy head. Grab a shower, we're spending the day seeing the sights in L.A."

"How, they're covered in smog. Let me grab 10 more minutes."

"Oh, no, Jesse, you're getting out of bed, or I'll use the move you fear most, and none of your fans or enemies know about, I'll tickle you into submission!" Danielle started wiggling her fingers over my abdomen, forcing laughter out of me until I got out of bed.

"Okay, okay, cheat!" She just stuck her tongue out at me. If it wasn't for the fact I'd decided me'n'love were now diametrically opposed terms, I could really fall for this girl. I lumbered to the bathroom to make my self presentable.